Fallen Too Far (12 page)

              Rush opened the door and stood back so I could enter. I walked inside and headed for the kitchen.

              “Your room is upstairs now,” Rush said, breaking the silence.

              I knew that. My mind was just elsewhere. I turned and headed for the steps. Rush didn’t follow me. I wanted to look back and see what he was doing but I couldn’t.

              “I tried to stay away from you.” His words sounded dark. I stopped and turned back around to look down at him. He was standing on the bottom step staring up at me. The pained expression on his face made my heart ache.

              “That first night I tried to get rid of you. Not because I disliked you.” He let out a hard bitter laugh. “But because I knew. I
knew
you’d get under my skin. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away. Maybe I hated you a little bit then because of the weakness you’d be able to find in me.”

             
“What is so wrong with you being attracted to me?” I asked, needing him to at least answer me that.

             
“Because you don’t know everything and I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you Nan’s secrets. They’re hers. I love her, Blaire. I’ve loved her and protected her all my life. She’s my little sister. It’s what I do. Even though I want you like I’ve never wanted anything in my life, I can’t tell you Nan’s secrets.”

             
Every word from his mouth sounded like it was being ripped from him. Nan was truly his sister and I understood that kind of loyalty and love. I would have died for Valerie if I could. She had been only fifteen minutes younger than me but I’d have done whatever she needed me to. No guy or other emotion could have made me betray her.

             
“I can understand that. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.” I was sorry. I’d pried into his life and his sister’s. Obviously whatever Bethy knew she shouldn’t know it. If Bethy thought that Rush’s need to protect his sister would be an issue for us she was wrong.

             
Rush closed his eyes tightly and muttered something.  He was dealing with something. Maybe this had brought up a bad memory. As much as I’d like to go down there and hug him I knew I wasn’t welcomed right now. I’d messed that up.

             
“Good night, Rush,” I said and walked up the stairs. I didn’t look back this time. I went directly to my room.

             
There was no mistaking morning time up here with these windows. An alarm clock wouldn’t be needed. The sun had woken me up an hour before my alarm clock had gone off. I showered and dressed with ease now that I had a bathroom right here and more room to move around.

             
I wasn’t in the mood to eat Rush’s food this morning. I wasn’t really in the mood to eat but I had two shifts to work today so I needed some food. I would stop by the coffee house and get some caffeine and a muffin. The short black linen skirt and white cotton button down top we had to wear as a uniform when we served in the dining room at the club was our responsibility to keep washed and pressed. I’d spent a few hours yesterday ironing the few I had here at home.

             
Once I had on my tennis shoes, I headed down the stairs. I hadn’t heard any activity upstairs yet today so I knew Rush wasn’t awake. For once, I was grateful to not have to face him. Now that I’d had time to sleep on last night’s events I was embarrassed.

             
Not only had I let Rush touch me in places I’d never had anyone touch me before but then I’d turned around and acted like a crazy nosy bitch. I needed to apologize to him but I wasn’t ready to do that just yet.

             
I quietly closed the front door behind me and headed out to my truck. At least I wouldn’t be home until after dark tonight. No having to face Rush for at least twelve more hours.

             
Jimmy was already in the staff room with his apron on when I arrived. He flashed me a grin and then made a pouty face with his lips. “Uh, oh, looks like someone had a bad morning.”

             
I couldn’t tell Jimmy my problems. He knew these people too. I had to keep this stuff to myself. “I didn’t sleep that well,” I replied.

             
Jimmy made a tsking sound. “For shame. Sleep is such a beautiful thing.”

             
I nodded in agreement and clocked in. “Am I on my own today?” I asked.

             
“Of course. You had this figured out after following me around for two hours. You should breeze through this day.”

             
I was glad someone thought so. I grabbed an order tablet and a pen and stuck them in the pocket of my black apron.

             
“Breakfast time,” Jimmy said with a wink and pushed open the door that led into the dining room. “Oooh looks like the boss and friends are at table eight. As much as I’d love to go ogle their fine asses, they would prefer you. I’ll go take the early morning tennis mommas over on table ten. They tip well.”

             
Waiting on Woods and his friends was not something that I wanted to do this morning. But I couldn’t argue with Jimmy. He was right. He’d get better tips from the women. They loved him.

             
I headed over to their table. Woods eyes lifted to meet mine and he smiled. “You look much better in here,” he said when I stopped in front of them.

             
“Thank you. It’s much cooler,” I replied.

             
“Blaire has moved on up. I may have to eat more meals here,” the blond curly headed guy said. I still didn’t know his name.

             
“This could be very good for business,” Woods agreed.

             
“How was your night out with Bethy?” Jace asked with a slight edge to his voice. He was holding the Bethy thing against me apparently. I didn’t care. He was pond scum as far as I was concerned.

             
“We had a good time. What can I get y’all to drink?” I asked, changing the subject.

             
“Coffee, please,” the blond chimed in.

             
“Okay, I get it. Off-limits. Girl code and all that shit. I want some OJ,” Jace replied.

             
“Coffee for me too,” Woods replied.

             
“I’ll be right back with your drinks,” I replied and spun around to see two more tables with guests. Jimmy was helping one of the tables so I headed for the other. It took me a second to realize just who was at that table. My feet stopped moving as I watched Nan flick her long strawberry blond hair over her shoulder and then level a scowl at me. I glanced back over to Jimmy who was finishing up drink orders at his second table. I had to do this. I was being silly. She was Rush’s sister.

             
I forced my feet to move and walked over to her table. She was sitting with another girl. One I hadn’t seen before. She was equally as glamorous as Nan.

             
“Webster must be letting anyone work here these days. I need to tell Woods to speak with his daddy about being more selective with their employees,” Nan drawled slowly in a rather loud voice.

             
My face felt warm and I knew I was red faced. Right now I just needed to prove that I could get through this. Nan hated me for unknown reasons. Unless of course, Rush had told her I was snooping into her business. It didn’t sound like something Rush would do but did I know him that well. No.

             
“Good morning, what can I get y’all to drink?” I said as politely as possible.

             
The other girl snickered and ducked her head. Nan glared up at me as if I were something repugnant. “You can get us nothing. I expect a classier server when I come to eat here. You won’t do.”

             
I looked for Jimmy once again but he was gone. Nan might be Rush’s little sister but she was a major bitch. If I didn’t need this job so badly I’d tell her to kiss my ass and I’d walk out.

             
“Is there a problem here?” Woods’ voice came from behind me. For once in my life, I was relieved by his presence.

             
“Yes, there is. You hired white trash. Get rid of her. I pay too much to be a member here to tolerate this kind of service.”

             
Was it because I was living at her brother’s house? Did she hate my dad too? I didn’t want her to hate me. If she hated me Rush would never open up to me. That door was firmly shut.

             
“Nannette, you’ve never once paid to be a member here. You’re here because your brother allows it. Blaire is one of the best employees we’ve ever had and not one other paying member has complained. Certainly not your brother. So, pull in the claws, sweetheart and get over yourself,” Woods snapped his fingers and Jimmy came hurrying over toward us. He must have come back out during the drama and I’d missed him. “Jim, would you please serve Nan and Lola? Nan seems to have an issue with Blaire and I don’t want Blaire being forced to wait on her.”

             
Jimmy nodded. Woods took my elbow and led me back towards the kitchen. I knew we were drawing attention but I didn’t care at the moment. I was just extremely grateful to be getting away from the curious onlookers and getting a breather.

             
Once the kitchen door closed behind me I let out the breath I’d been holding.              

             
“I’m only going to say this once, Blaire. You stood me up the other night at Rush’s. I didn’t have to ask you why. I knew why when Rush was nowhere to be found. You had made your choice and I was backing off. But what happened in there is only a small taste. The bitch has serious venom in her veins. She is bitter and angry and when the time comes to choose, Rush will choose her.”

             
I turned and stared at Woods unsure what he meant. Woods gave me a sad smile then let go of my elbow and walked back into the dining room. Woods knew the secret too. He had to. This was going to drive me crazy. What was the big deal?

              I jerked open my truck door glad to be done with the day. My eyes went to a small black box lying on my seat with a note attached. I reached over and picked it up.

              Blaire,

                  It’s a phone.  You need one. I spoke with your dad and he said to get it for you. It’s from him. Talk and text are unlimited so use it as you wish.

              Rush

              My dad had told Rush to get me a phone? Really? I opened the box and a white iPhone complete with a durable case was tucked safely inside. I pulled it out and studied it a moment. I pressed the small round button on the bottom and the screen lit up. My dad hadn’t given me a gift since the birthday before he’d left. Before Valerie had died. He’d given us matching electric scooters and helmets.

              I climbed into the truck and held my phone in my hand. Could I call my dad on this? It would be nice if he explained to me why he wasn’t here. Why he’d sent me to a place where I was unwanted? Had he met Nan? Surely, he would have known that she wouldn’t accept me. Besides, if she was Rush’s sister then she was my stepsister. Was that why she was so mad? I had grown up with less money than her? God, she was cruel.

              I tapped on contacts and saw that I only had three numbers saved in my phone. The first one was Bethy, then Darla, and then Rush. He’d put his number in here. That surprised me.

              The phone started playing a Slacker Demon song I’d heard on the radio before and Rush’s name flashed on the screen. He was calling me.

              “Hello,” I said, still not sure what to think of this.

              “I see you got the phone. Do you like it?” Rush asked.

              “Yes, it’s really nice. But why did Dad want me to have it?” He hadn’t cared much about anything else I’d needed over the years. This seemed trivial.

              “Safety measure. All females need a phone. Especially ones that drive vehicles older than they are. You could break down at any moment.”

              “I have a gun,” I reminded him.

              He chuckled. “Yeah, you do, badass. But a gun can’t tow your truck.”

              Point made.

              “Are you coming home?” he asked. The way he said “home” like his house was my home too made me feel warm inside. Even if he hadn’t meant it that way.

              “Yes, if that’s okay. I can go do something else if you need me to stay away.”

              “No. I want you here. I cooked.”

              He’d cooked? For me? “Oh. Okay. Well, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

              “See you soon,” he said and the line went dead.

              Here he went being incredibly strange again.

              When I walked into the house the distinct smell of taco seasoning met my nose. I closed the door and headed for the kitchen. If this was actual homemade Mexican food then I was going to be seriously impressed.

              Rush’s back was to me as I entered the kitchen.  He was humming along to a song I didn’t recognize playing over the sound system. It was smoother and slower than what he normally listened to. A bottle of Corona was opened on the bar with a slice of lime on the rim. I’d fixed many just like that while working on the course.

              “Smells good,” I said. Rush glanced back over his shoulder and a slow smile spread across his face.

              “It is,” he replied, wiping his hands on the hand towel beside him. He picked up the Corona and handed it to me. “Here, drink up. The enchiladas are almost finished. I need to flip the quesadillas and they need a few more minutes. We should be ready to eat soon.”

              I put the Corona to my lips and took a small sip. Mostly for courage. This was not how I expected our next encounter to go. Rush was a puzzle that I might never figure out.

              “I’m hoping you eat Mexican,” he said as he pulled the enchiladas out of the oven. Rush Finlay did not look like someone who belonged in the kitchen cooking.  But dang, if he wasn’t sexy doing it.

              “I love Mexican food,” I assured him. “I will admit I’m really impressed that you can cook it.”

              Rush looked up at me and winked. “I got all kinds of talents that would blow your mind.”

              I had no doubt. I swallowed a larger gulp of the Corona.

              “Easy girl. You gotta eat something too. When I said drink up I didn’t mean for you to gulp it down.”

              I nodded and wiped off the small drop that was clinging to my bottom lip. Rush watched me intently. It made my hand shake a little.

              He turned his eyes away quickly and started taking the quesadillas off the skillet. He put them on a platter full of hard and soft tacos. There were even burritos. He’d made some of everything.

              “Everything else is on the table already. Grab me a Corona out of the fridge and follow me.”

              I quickly did as I was told and hurried after Rush. He didn’t stop in the dining room. Instead, he stepped outside onto the large back porch overlooking the ocean. Two hurricane lamps stood in the middle of the table so that we could have candlelight without it blowing out.

              “Sit. I’ll fix your plate,” he said, motioning for me to take a seat at the first seat we came to. There were only two out here.

              I sat down and Rush began to dish one of everything onto my plate. Then he put the tray of food down and placed the napkin from beside my plate on my lap. His mouth was so close to my ear that his warm breath made me shiver.

              “Can I get you another drink?” he whispered in my ear before standing back up.

              I shook my head. I wouldn’t be able to drink if he was going to do things like that. My heart was racing like crazy already. I couldn’t swallow a thing like this.

              Rush picked up his drink and took the seat across from me. I watched as he fixed his plate then his eyes lifted to mine. “If you hate it, don’t tell me. My ego can’t handle it.”

              I was sure nothing he made would taste bad. I grinned and picked up my fork and knife to cut off a small piece of the enchilada he’d placed on my plate. There was no way I could eat all this but I could taste some of everything.

              The minute it touched my tongue it surprised me. It was as good as any I’d eaten at a Mexican restaurant. Smiling, I looked at him. “It’s delicious and I can’t say I’m surprised.”

              Rush put a forkful in his mouth and smirked. His ego could never be crushed. It might even need to be brought down a few pegs. I started to taste the other things and found myself hungrier than I’d first thought. Everything was so good I didn’t want to waste anything.

              After my fourth taste of everything on the plate, I knew I had to stop. I sipped my Corona and settled back in my seat. Rush was washing down his food as well. Once he finished he set the bottle down and his eyes went serious. Uh-oh. We were about to talk about last night. I had wanted to forget last night. Especially since tonight had been so nice.

              “I’m sorry about how Nan treated you today,” he said with a pained sincere voice.

              “How did you know about that?” I asked suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

              “Woods called me. He was warning me that Nan would be asked to leave the next time she was rude to an employee.
              Woods was a nice guy. He could be a little too much at times but he was a good boss. I nodded.

              “She shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. I’ve had a talk with her. She promised me it wouldn’t happen again. But if it does, somewhere else, then please come tell me.”

              This had been an apology meal for his younger sisters bad behavior, not a mending of fences between us. I wasn’t on a romantic date like my imagination had managed to concoct in my head. This was just Rush apologizing for Nan.

              I pushed my chair back and picked up my plate. “Thank you. I appreciate the gesture. It was very nice of you. I assure you that I don’t intend to tattle to Woods if Nan is rude to me in the future. He just happened to witness it first-hand today.” I picked up my drink. “Dinner was lovely. Nice to have after a long day at work. Thank you so much.” I didn’t make eye contact with him. I just wanted to get away from him.

              Hurrying inside, I rinsed off my plate and placed it in the dishwasher before rinsing out my bottle and putting it in the recycle container.

              “Blaire,” Rush said from behind me and his body was suddenly right there caging me in. His hands were on each side of the counter and all I could do was stand there and look down at the sink in front of me. His hard warm body brushed against my back and I bit my tongue to keep from making a whimper. I would not let him see how he affected me.

              “This wasn’t an attempt to apologize for Nan. It was an attempt to apologize for me. I’m sorry about last night. I lay in bed all night wishing you were there with me. Wishing I hadn’t pushed you away. I push people away Blaire. It’s a protective mechanism for me. But I don’t want to push you away.”

              Walking away from him and keeping him at a distance was the smart thing to do. Rush wasn’t and never would be anyone’s Prince Charming. I couldn’t ever let myself think he was the one who would love me and cherish me. He would never be that guy for me. But my heart had grown a little attached to him. It didn’t mean forever but for right now I wanted Rush to be my first. He wouldn’t be my last. He’d just be a stop along the path of life. A stop I might never forget or get over. That was what scared me the most. Not being able to move on.

              He reached up and brushing my hair from the side of my neck and then pressed a kiss to the curve of my shoulder. “Please. Forgive me. One more chance, Blaire. I want this. I want you.”

              Rush would be my first. It just felt right. Inside I knew he was meant to be the guy that taught me about life. Even if he broke my heart eventually. I turned in his arms and slipped my hands around his neck.

              “I’ll forgive you on one condition,” I said, gazing up into his emotion-filled eyes that made me hope for so much more.

              “Okay,” he said cautiously.

              “I want to be with you tonight. No more flirting. No more waiting.”

              The worried expression was instantly gone and replaced with a hungry gleam.

              “Hell, yes,” he growled and pulled me against him.