Falling In (31 page)

              “Nah, I don’t mind. I’ll just wait outside of their rooms for you.”

              “Okay. Jake?”

              “Yeah?” I say, turning back towards her, only to find her barreling into me, smashing her lips to mine. I grab the back of her head, gathering her hair into my hand, deepening the kiss. Damn, I love the way her tongue swirls around mine, gently sliding up and down.
And her lips.
Holy fuck, her lips taste like honey. They’re inebriating. I can’t get enough.

              I’m just about to slip my hands underneath her towel to grip that ass of hers when she pulls back.

             
Damn
.

              “Sorry. I just had the urge.” She smiles coyly at me.
This girl
. I shake my head at her.

              “Never apologize for doing that. That, I could do every day, all day, for the rest of my life, and never tire of it.”

              I kiss her on her forehead, turn the doorknob, and step out of the room, leaving her with that titillating piece of information.
And it’s damn true.
This girl has me by the balls. And the heart. I can only hope she handles all three with care.

              Fuck. She’s turned me into a pussy.

              But I don’t give two fucks.

              She’s worth it.

Evangeline

I can’t believe I just did that. That was so fucking far over the line, I’m not even sure if the damn line ever existed. It’s gone now. Nowhere in sight.

              But mother eff, it felt good. Feeling his eyes scan over my body in complete satisfaction and lust turned me on more than I have ever been turned on before. The way his fingertips tortuously skimmed over my skin, touching my most sensitive areas like my body was a prized position. He was so careful, and yet it felt like he couldn’t get enough. It was the best kind of tease that I wish never had to end. I’m almost positive I would’ve given it up if he’d asked. My vagina sure as hell wouldn’t have opposed.

              And the things he said about the hang-ups I have about my body, the imperfections that plague me, like most women. I wanted to cry and melt into his arms. Cole is the only other man who has ever seen me naked, and with him, I was so comfortable, it had never been a big deal. But with Jake, it’s different somehow. I am comfortable with him, but it’s all so new. He makes me feel like that young girl with butterflies in the pit of her stomach. He makes me nervous, but in a good way.

             
Fuck. I’m in deep shit here
. I am sinking. Slipping. Falling more and more, and I can’t stop it. I don’t want to.
But where does that leave me?

              Or Cole? Or Jake? Or my kids?

              My life?
It’s a huge ball of knots right now and I am terrified to pull the string and watch it unravel.

             
Is it too early to have a glass of wine?
I look over to the nightstand, glancing at the alarm clock.

              Yeah, I’d say 9:00am is probably too early.

              This moment is not the right moment to figure it all out.
So push it down, Evie. Push it way the eff down
. With few deep inhales and exhales, my dilemma is buried for at least the next few hours.

              I start braiding my hair into a long, loose side braid while I go into the closet to find something to wear. I do a quick scan and settle on a comfortable but cute turquoise and orange razorback maxi dress. I forgo the bra, but slip on a pair of boy shorts. I make my way to the bathroom and dust a little blush on my cheeks, but leave the rest of my face makeup-free as usual. I take a long look in the mirror and realize that I can’t stop smiling. I try to wipe it off my face. Lord knows I have a lot going on to hinder it, but I just can’t. It won’t go away.

              Jake makes me happy. Truly happy.
Giddy, even
. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way, if ever. It feels
good
.

              I leave the bathroom, not ready to dive further into that realization quite yet.
Just add it to my growing list of shit I need to work through
. Once I open the bedroom door, Jake’s eyes find mine, as they always do. There is a lightness swirling in his green gaze that I haven’t seen before, and his smile is as big, if not bigger than mine.

              He’s happy.

              And that makes me happy all over again. Happy and terrified as all hell, because I could potentially destroy that. The thought of being the cause of him reverting back to the man I met a month ago, dimming that light again, tears me apart.

              “You okay?” he asks, tearing me away from my sobering thoughts. I shake the negativity away and bring my smile back, albeit a little less bright, hoping he doesn’t notice.

              “Yeah, of course. So, you ready to pack up some bags?”

              “Lead the way.”

***

              An hour later, we’ve successfully packed a few days’ worth of clothes for Cady and Dylan. And now I’m sitting on the kitchen counter, watching him move around my kitchen like he owns the place—like he belongs here. I don’t think I could ever tire of watching this man cook. It’s so sensual, and he has no idea how hot he looks sautéing vegetables. He’s in his element. His own little world, filled with spices and sharp knives. After about ten minutes of me ogling, he finally looks up and catches me.

              “What are you looking at?” he asks with that stupid smirk that makes my panties wet.

              “You. Anyone ever tell you that you look really sexy when you cook?”

              He walks over to me, never losing eye contact, and spreads my legs apart. His hands sneak up the bottom of my dress, climbing higher and higher up my legs, finally resting on the top of my thighs

              “All the time, baby,” he whispers against my lips before claiming them. It’s a quick kiss, but no less powerful or enticing. My eyes are still closed when he pulls away, and when I open them, that smirk is firmly planted on his face.

              “Cock tease.”

              “As of this morning, I know without a doubt that you, my pixie, do not in fact have a cock. Although, even if you did, we still might be able to work things out. I think I could get past it.”

              I swat him playfully on the shoulder. “Finish my lunch. We’re going to have to get the kids soon.”

              “About that. I was thinking maybe we get them together. I mean, I’m here with you now, and we’ll be going to the same place. Might as well carpool, right?”

              I think about it for a minute and can’t find any harm in it.

              “Sure. The kids will love it. Don’t know how Cady and Ben are going to cope with being away from each other, though.”

              “Ben is definitely entranced by her. But I can’t blame him—she’s just like her mama. Mini-pixie. You two know how to cast a spell on a man.”

              “We can’t help it.”

              “I don’t mind it all. And I’m positive he doesn’t, either.” He grabs two plates from the cupboard and starts loading beautifully grilled vegetables and strips of steak, with bacon and blue cheese onto them. I inhale the intoxicating aroma and sigh in anticipation and bliss.

              “Good god that smells like perfection wrapped in bacon! Hurry up and bring me my plate!” I command as I sit down at the table.

              “You are so demanding when you’re hungry!”

              “Damn straight. Now feed me!”

              “Here you go, my queen.” He says, handing me my plate of deliciousness with a flourish of his hand.

              I take one bite, and swear I foodgasm right then and there.
Holy eff, that is the greatest thing I have ever eaten
. I tell him as much.

              “Thank you.”

              “Seriously though, you need to open a restaurant, like yesterday. You’re too good to just be making me lunch every once in a while,” I say between bites.

              “Pixie, if all I did was make you lunch every day, I would be the happiest man alive. It would mean you were mine.”

              “Oh.” I say, biting my lip to stop the ginormously goofy grin I can feel trying to make an appearance on my face.

              “Fuck, Evangeline, you can’t bite your lip like that. Do you have any idea what that does to me?”

              I shake my head. “What does it do to you?”

              Jake puts his fork down and licks his lips, training his fierce green eyes directly on mine.

              “It makes me wanna swipe these damn plates off the table, throw you down, spread your legs wide open, and sink so far into you, you won’t know where you begin and I end.”

              “Oh.” Is all I can manage to get out again, not knowing what the hell I can say to that.
But geez Louise, that man can talk dirty
.

              “Oh? That’s all I get?” he chuckles out.

              I laugh awkwardly. “What does one say to
that
? Anything I can say would be seriously crossing the line.”

              “Baby, I think we’re past crossing lines. I’m pretty sure there never even was one to begin with.”

              “There has to be. For now. Until I get things figured out. There just has to be.”

              “You’re right. Let’s hurry up and finish lunch, or we’ll be late picking up the kids,” he says with a small, crooked smile. It’s not as bright as it was earlier, but it’s still there. I grab his hand across the table and give it a squeeze. He looks into my eyes and I try to convey everything I want to say without forming the words.

              I’m sorry.

              I will figure this out.

              Just give me time.

              I’m not ready to lose you yet.

              He squeezes my hand back and lifts it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on my tingling skin, reassuring me that he’s not going anywhere. And with a wink, we’re back to the playful mood we were in earlier.

              Once we finish eating, we have to practically run out the door for fear of being late to pick up the kids. Jake makes a quick pit stop in his garage to grab Ben’s booster seat that we cram into my Prius before pulling out of my driveway. He pulls my hand into his as we drive, and it feels so natural and weird all at the same time. I look over to him and find him already looking at me. He’s feeling the same thing. We both smile.

              “You know, this is the first time we’ve been out of our neighborhood together.” I observe, just realizing it myself.

              “Oh shit, you’re right. We’ve cocooned ourselves, haven’t we?” I nod, knowing why but not willing to say it. “Guess we had to, though.” I squeeze his hand tightly again, releasing a sigh of relief when he squeezes it back.

              We drive in relative silence, just listening to
Haim
and enjoying the simple errand of picking up our kids from school.

             
Our kids.

              If I were to close my eyes, I could imagine us doing this together every day, fighting over who gets to drive or who gets control of the radio. The thought of that makes my heart swell and makes me so damn happy, I don’t know what to make of it. So I chose to just be in the moment and bask in this simple task because I don’t know if we’ll ever be doing this again.

              We get to the school quicker than I had hoped. I park further down in the parking lot than usual. Wanting to prolong this time as much as possible, and maybe in a small way I’m afraid that people—
i.e. judgey mom monsters
—will grace us with their sideways glances and whispers of affair rumors. I let the car sit idly while I stare out the windshield, not ready to burst our bubble just yet.

              “Pixie.”

              I turn to find Jake staring at me, again with a look matching my own. He gives my hand a squeeze and an encouraging smile that I somehow return.

             
Let’s do this.

              We step out of the car, Jake meeting me at my side, and we begin the walk together. Just like that day in the park, our hands brush against each other with each step, making me want to grab his and hold on for dear life—but I know I can’t. I look up at him and I know he’s feeling the same way, fighting the urge.

              All of a sudden, he stops in the middle of the road and turns to me.

              “What are you doing?” I ask him, confusion written all over my face.

              He grabs my arm and pulls me in between two minivans, looking around the parking lot to make sure that no one is in sight. Once he’s sure we’re in the clear, he pulls me into him, kissing my softly on the mouth. No tongue, just the perfect amount of pressure and passion, pouring all of his anxiety out and taking mine with him. As he slowly pulls away, he whispers against my lips.

              “There. I feel better,” he says with a sigh and a smile. I laugh.

              “Me too.” And I do. It was probably extremely reckless and stupid, but it put me at ease. It’s exactly what I needed in that moment.

              He grabs my hand and leads me away from the mom-mobiles, reluctantly letting go once we’re in sight of the school.

              “Evie?” I hear from a familiar voice behind me. I turn around and see Matt, a close friend of Cole and I, although more so with Cole.

             
Fuuuuuuck.

              “Matt. Hey, how are you?” I greet, giving him a hug.

              “Good, just picking up the kids for my lady.” He says, eyeing Jake before returning his attention to me.

              “How is Grace? She’s due any minute now, right?”

              “Yeah, in two weeks. Can’t believe we’re having our fourth kid. We’re quite possibly insane.” All three of us laugh. He turns to Jake and squints his eyes in concentration.

              “We’ve met before, right?”

              I briefly look at Jake before interjecting. “Yeah, this is Jake, my neighbor. You guys met at the kids’ birthday party.”