Falling in Love in New York (2 page)

“Maybe you should take it easy on that stuff,” he’d said, when one evening Abby arrived home from work and put a bar of Dairy Milk in the freezer, readying it to have in front of the telly that night. It was just her thing; she loved the way the rock-hard chocolate melted away to nothing when dipped in a cup of hot tea and Dairy Milk was one of her biggest comforts after a hard days’ work. But Kieran was right, since she’d been promoted at the accountancy practice and work had got busier, she’d been eating more and more junk. Now clearly the results were there for all to see! Kieran had always been much better at that kind of thing though, much better at looking after himself and was actually quite meticulous in his eating habits. 

Having scoured the rails of most of the high-street stores in Grafton Street for a suitable dress and come up blank, Abby decided to sneak a teeny peek in a few of the more upmarket boutiques in the surrounding area. As she walked along she was waylaid by a pleasant-looking woman who surprised her by coming up and asking where she’d had her highlights done.

“Highlights?” she grinned, thrilled by this unexpected compliment from another woman. “No, my hair is naturally fair–and the curls are natural too,” she added for good measure. Her hair was one of the very few things Abby liked about her appearance. Long, voluminous and honey-gold in colour, she tended to wear it down most of the time so as to frame her rather ordinary looking face and draw attention away from her nose, which Abby felt was way too large and nothing like the cute little button with which her elder sisters had been blessed.

“Great!” the other woman gushed. “Well you might be interested in ‘Hairwaves’ a new salon that’s just opened on South Anne St! Today we’re giving a discount of fifty percent on all highlight and easy-meche treatments for new customers. Would you like to sign up for a six-course voucher?” she added, shoving a clipboard at Abby. “I’ll just need your credit card details and–”

“No, it’s OK thanks.” Abby said, feeling like a right eejit. So much for the compliment. She should have known it was too good to be true. Why hadn’t she copped the sales pitch, when anyone else with half a brain would have? God, no wonder she was no good at this kind of thing, she thought walking away, her good mood and confidence now rapidly deflating.

But still she couldn’t go home without something decent to wear, couldn’t make a show of herself and Kieran in Dromoland Castle by relying on the same old out-of-date (and probably now ill-fitting) dress to wear on a romantic weekend away.

Taking a deep breath, she tentatively entered a small classy-looking boutique that she thought she’d heard Caroline mention once or twice. Maybe they had a sale rail she could go through?

“Hello there,” the elegantly-dressed lady behind the counter said, and although she sounded friendly, Abby couldn’t help but notice the woman give what she was wearing a quick once-over. No, no she was just being paranoid; this was
not
a
Pretty Woman
Rodeo Drive moment, the woman was clearly just being welcoming. Maybe that was the real difference between chain stores and designer stores, and partly the reason Caroline loved them so much? Still, Abby wasn’t used to being fussed-over and certainly wasn’t comfortable with it, so hopefully your woman would just leave her alone and let her browse away to her heart’s content. Pity the shop had to be so empty though.

“Is there anything in particular you’re looking for?” the woman asked, as having failed to spot a sale rail, Abby began quickly flicking through the nearest one. 

Blast it anyway! she thought, her heart fluttering in panic. OK, so she had two options here; she could just thank the woman and walk out, or she could accept her help and maybe be here for the day. Seeing as she couldn’t afford even a
quarter
of some of the prices on these, the first option was clearly preferable, but at the same time Abby really didn’t want to be rude.

She turned to the woman, and smiled shyly. “Well, I was hoping to find a dress–something for a special occasion.”

She’d go through the motions, she decided then; maybe have a look at a couple of options before regretfully telling the other woman that these (shockingly expensive) clothes just weren’t for her. It was only right that she did at
least
that, after wandering into the woman’s shop and wasting her time, wasn’t it?

An hour later Abby left the boutique, face scarlet, shopping bag in hand and wallet three hundred euro lighter. The whole thing had been excruciating and even worse, she’d ended up with a dress that she didn’t even
like
, let alone fit into! But the shop assistant had
insisted
that she try on a variety of different dresses, all of which seemed to have been designed for malnourished teenagers and very few of which got past Abby’s thighs, apart from that last one. 

And worse, all throughout, the sales woman kept trying to get her to step out of the changing room and show off the dresses in front of a large mirror on the shop floor, seemingly not having the slightest clue that Abby hadn’t a hope of fitting into any of the supposed size twelve/fourteens she was giving her, let alone parading around in them!

“A second opinion can be so helpful,” she cooed helpfully, but Abby didn’t need anyone to tell her that she looked like an
elephant
in this stuff.

Her self-confidence at rock bottom, Abby eventually decided to put an end to the trauma by agreeing to buy one of the dresses, a hideous red chiffon and silk thing that accentuated every bulge, but one she’d at least managed to zip up at the back.

Three hundred euro wasted and nothing to show for it! Far from impressing Kieran on their weekend away, this outfit would surely make him want to run a mile. She bit her lip. And if he ever found out how much she’d spent on it …

Full of self-loathing and regret, Abby trundled to the bus stop, too disheartened to walk back home now, although clearly she needed the exercise!

She’d really wanted to find something special, something that would make her look and
feel
gorgeous, so much so that Kieran might even be moved into passing comment.

Boarding the bus, she slumped down on one of the seats and sighed. Granted after five years together they were
long
past that kind of thing, but it would be nice to get even a teeny a compliment from him once in a while. Just something to let her know that he still found her attractive, despite the resultant extra bulges. Well, she’d definitely cut down on the chocolate now–
definitely
. There was simply no excuse for not fitting into … Then Abby looked up, as another passenger boarding the bus caught her attention. A disabled girl in a wheelchair was manoeuvring herself onto the lowered floor of the vehicle before awkwardly trying to make her way along the aisle.

Abby felt a lump in her throat and her heart immediately went out to the girl but not wanting to stare, she turned towards the window. Now she felt disgusted with herself for being so shallow and selfish. Here she was whining about trivial things like a few lumps and bumps and the absence of compliments from Kieran, when possibly compared to that poor girl, her life was perfect. She was an idiot, a stupid, vacuous idiot and she should really cop onto herself. She had
everything
in the world to look forward to, including a fabulous weekend away next week with the man she loved, and who she was certain she would end up marrying. What more did she want?

No, from now on Abby was determined not to let her weight or her appearance or any other superficial things get her down. Compared to a lot of people, she’d been blessed with luck, and rather than complaining about the silly little things she
didn’t
have, she should instead start feeling grateful for what she did have. So feck the posh dress; she’d just make the most of whatever was already in her wardrobe, and to hell with trying to impress other people!

Suddenly feeling much better and considerably more content with her lot, Abby got off at the next stop and with a spring in her step, travelled the rest of the journey on foot.

She wondered when Kieran would get round to telling her about this trip though. She’d brought up the subject of her birthday a couple of times over the last few days, but amazingly he didn’t bat an eyelid. Maybe he wasn’t planning on saying anything at all until they got to the hotel? It was strange really, because Kieran wasn’t at all the type for surprises.

Well, she’d know soon enough, Abby thought smiling to herself; this time next week she’d be ensconced in the most romantic Irish castle with the man she loved. What more could anyone ask for?

By the following Saturday lunchtime, the day of her birthday, Abby was utterly perplexed. The hotel booking was for today, the 31
st
and still Kieran had said nothing about them going away, or indeed anything at all about what they should do to celebrate. So what on earth was going on?

In the meantime, she’d dropped every hint under the sun, and had only just stopped short of asking him outright about it, something she knew wouldn’t go down well at all but …

When earlier in the week she’d asked what they’d do on the Saturday night, just to see what his reaction would be, he’d behaved very strangely altogether, pretending almost as if he hadn’t even realised her birthday was coming up. But that was pure Kieran, she thought fondly, he couldn’t act to save his life.

“Well what would you like to do?” he’d said.

“I don’t know really. But I’d like to do something other than sit and watch TV. Go out for dinner maybe?” she added, grinning inwardly at his disquiet.

“OK, right. Well if that’s what you want.”

But now, her nerves in tatters, Abby waited until he’d gone out to the shops to pick up the paper, before deciding to phone the hotel. She had
to put herself out of her misery. This was
really
unlike Kieran. While he’d wished her a happy birthday first thing this morning, he’d since been quiet and unresponsive throughout breakfast, which Abby had initially put down to his trying to keep the surprise under wraps.

But now she wasn’t so sure.

“Dromoland Castle Guest Services?” a man’s voice said, when Abby had dialled the number.

“Um hi there, I’m calling about a reservation for tonight in the name of Kieran Redden? I’m just enquiring as to what time your restaurant opens for dinner,” she added, thinking on her feet. “I think we have reservations but I’m not sure…”

“Just one moment, and I’ll check. For tonight, you said?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm,” the man said, and Abby suddenly realised she was holding her breath. “We
did
have a reservation in that name for this evening, but the stay appears to have been cancelled sometime last week.”

Her heart plummeted to her stomach. “Cancelled? The entire stay?” she gasped, disappointment flooding through her.

“Yes.”

“But why?” Abby couldn’t help but ask, although she knew it was unlikely that the receptionist would be able to shed any light on it.

“I’m afraid there’s no reason given, Madam.”

“Oh, OK, well thanks anyway.”

Abby replaced the receiver and looked around the room, completely perplexed. What the hell was going on? Then, she heard the front door open and Kieran return from the shops.

“Hey,” he said, catching sight of her rather dazed expression. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” she murmured automatically, but inwardly her insides were churning with confusion.

Just ask him about it
, she urged herself.
Tell him you overheard the message and want to know what all this is about.

Why did he cancel their weekend away, her lovely birthday surprise? Or
was
this her birthday surprise, Abby thought then as a horrible, niggling suspicion struck her, indeed did it ever have
anything
to do with her?

But Abby wouldn’t allow herself to go down that road; she couldn’t go down that road, because she was absolutely terrified of what she might find at the end of it.

But as Caroline had reminded her, tonight she was celebrating her
mum’s
birthday and shortly after work, Abby arrived at the restaurant to find that the rest of the family–Caroline and Tom, her mum, and her brother Dermot–were already seated and awaiting her arrival. 

“Happy Birthday Mum,” Abby put her arms around Teresa and gave her kiss on the cheek. She’d felt so guilty after Caroline’s phone call that she’d picked up a bunch of flowers on the way, but now felt even worse when she realised how paltry her shop-bought bouquet looked compared to the oversized exotic arrangement already resting alongside her mother’s chair.

“Hello love,” Teresa stood up and returned her youngest daughter’s hug. “Thanks for coming.”

Thanks for coming? Now Abby felt even worse. Was she that unsociable these days that her mother had to actually
thank
her for turning up at a family gathering? Granted she knew she hadn’t seen much of the family lately, but she’d been so busy with work and–

“It’s just to be honest, I wasn’t really sure if the menu here would suit you …” her mother continued, and Abby quickly realised that Teresa was not, in fact, thanking her for coming along to the celebrations, but to this particular restaurant. But why? What kind of place was this anyway? She took a seat and picked up the menu. Caroline had chosen it; that much was obvious, judging by the lovely plush surroundings and the leather-bound menus and … oh no!

“Mum, she’ll be fine,” her sister interjected breezily while Abby stared aghast at the menu.
Oh God, it was Thai!
“There’s plenty of choice there. Anyway, it’s
your
birthday, and we all know how much you wanted to try this place. Abby will be fine, won’t you?” she repeated, giving her sister a warning glance.

“Grand,” Abby murmured, apprehensive. She’d really had no idea that her mother’s birthday dinner was being held in a place where she wouldn’t be able to touch a morsel. She knew she was pickier than most about her food–she was the very same as Kieran in that regard, which was one of the reasons they’d rarely ate out. Neither of them had ever understood the attraction of all this foreign stuff–unlike the rest of her family who were happy to eat anything at all, no matter how … slimy it was.

Her stomach began to turn as she read through the various dishes on offer. It was all really weird stuff in really weird sauces and absolutely
everything
seemed to come with rice and noodles. Noodles? Weren’t there any normal things like spuds and vegetables or–

“What do you think, love?” her mother’s voice broke into her thoughts. “Is there anything there that might suit you?” Teresa sounded anxious as she looked doubtfully at her youngest daughter.

“Oh no, it’s fine, honestly.” Abby said quickly forcing a smile. She wasn’t quite sure
what
she was going to eat, but she wouldn’t dream of ruining her mum’s night.

“Tell you what, maybe we should go somewhere else …” Teresa began, biting her lip.

“No!” Caroline and Dermot cried in unison. 

“Mum’s wanted to try this place for ages,” Caroline informed Abby through gritted teeth, “and we had to book it well in advance.”

Abby had forgotten that for some strange reason her mother was indeed
inclined towards eating this kind of thing, and in recent years (and especially after their Dad died) had gone madly adventurous in trying all sorts of new things.

As usual, she had to be the odd one out.

“Abby, surely there’s something here you can eat?” her younger brother said, a touch impatiently. “That chicken and mushroom thing should be mild enough for you, shouldn’t it?”

Mildly disturbing! Abby thought to herself.

Once again, she felt like a fish out of water amongst her family, and felt awful at being the odd one for not liking this sort of thing. She just couldn’t understand why nobody seemed to want to eat normal food like potatoes and vegetables anymore; the kind of things they’d all grown up with, instead of all this slithery stuff. Erin was the very same, always eager to try out strange, horrible-sounding ‘food’ like Indian or Mexican. She couldn’t get over Abby’s ‘fussiness’ as she called it.

“You really don’t know what you’re missing,” Erin had said, when one time a while back Abby and Kieran had been invited over to dinner at her friend’s place. Sitting down at the dinner table, Kieran had immediately reacted to the smell of an accompanying bowl of Parmesan, and after that, refused to let a single bite of anything ‘abnormal’ pass his lips. Abby had to agree that the Parmesan smelt absolutely awful, and from then on in was rather hesitant about what was to come. In the end, she and Kieran had each ended up having a baked potato and grilled tomato instead of Erin’s homemade pasta concoction–much to her friend’s exasperation.

As Kieran had so often argued, why would anyone pay out huge sums of money for this so-called ‘food’ when no one had a clue what went into it underneath all those smelly sauces? He’d once told Abby a story about how Chinese restaurants regularly used stray dogs off the street for meat. Granted she wasn’t a big fan of dogs–was terrified of them actually–but she really wouldn’t wish
that
on them!

Now, as she ran her gaze over the Thai menu, she gulped, sorry she’d reminded herself of that fact. Thai and Chinese food was the same kind of thing, wasn’t it?

Abby suddenly noticed that the table had gone quiet, and when she looked up, realised the entire family were still waiting for her to answer Dermot’s question.

“Oh, I’ll be fine with the chicken,” she insisted quickly, mortified that she’d created a fuss. “Honestly.”

After that, it took a while for the tension to dissipate and Abby knew that Dermot and Caroline were annoyed with her. But what could she do? Once again, Abby felt deflated that these days she always seemed to be on a different wavelength to the rest of her family. They were all so happy-go-lucky and content with their lives, whereas she only ended up dragging everyone down. She tried to be upbeat since the break-up, she really did, but it was very difficult when inside she felt like some kind of walking zombie. 

“Mum, have you heard from Claire?” Caroline asked then, referring to their oldest sister, who lived in New York with her American husband.

Teresa smiled. “Yes, she phoned shortly before I came out, and she and Zach sent me the loveliest card.”

“How is she?” Caroline asked, taking a sip from a glass of champagne. Earlier, her sister had ordered a bottle of the most expensive bottle on the menu to toast their mother’s birthday. It was the kind of thing that used to drive Kieran demented.

“She never wastes a bloody opportunity to rub all our noses in it, does she?” he’d said and Abby had to admit that yes, Caroline did indeed seem to enjoy the finer things in life.

She’d also discovered that the jumbo bunch of flowers that had earlier dwarfed her own miserable offering had been Caroline’s, and she already knew about the expensive tickets to the West End she’d organised for Teresa as a birthday present. Her sister’s extravagance often made Abby feel inadequate by comparison and she remembered how irritated Kieran used to get by the way Caroline used every opportunity to flaunt her wealth at the rest of the family. Or should she say
Tom’s
wealth; Caroline hadn’t worked a day since they married–instead, she spent most of her time shopping for expensive clothes, and eating in fancy restaurants like this.

“I don’t know how your man puts up with it,” Kieran would say, referring to Tom. Although her brother in law was a man of few words (hello and goodbye being about the extent of them) he was as easy-going as they came, and didn’t seem to mind his wife’s spending. In fact, Tom adored Caroline and worshipped the ground she walked on, something that Abby had always sorely envied–and even more so now.

Yes, her sister had it all–the fairytale life complete with adoring husband, plenty of money, and of course, stunning good looks. Whereas she, she mused looking down at the table … well, she had none of those of things, had she?

“She’s in good form,” Teresa said, referring to Claire. “They’re hoping to try and get over for a visit soon, but it’s just so hard for Zach to get the time off from work.”

“Still no word on the other thing yet then?”

Abby knew that Caroline was referring to Claire and Zach’s hopes of having a baby. At thirty-eight, her oldest sister was close to the upper age limit for having a child, and unlike some of her and Zach’s friends, seemed patently unwilling to go down the IVF route.

“It just seems a bit perverse,” she’d explained to Abby during her last visit home a while back. “For most of my life I’ve been on the pill–essentially taking drugs to
not
get pregnant, so it seems wrong now to jump straight into taking different ones just because I want to. If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. Anyway,” she added with a supposedly indifferent shrug, although Abby suspected that it was anything but, “it’s partly my own fault for waiting this long.”

She didn’t like to point out that the real reason Claire had waited so long to start a family was because she’d only met Zach a couple of years back, and before that hadn’t been in a serious relationship since moving to the States six years before.

Abby had heard that the dating scene in New York was tough, and that they did things considerably different there, but given that Claire was open, friendly and stunningly pretty, she’d assumed her eldest sister would have no problems at all in finding a man, particularly when they’d always flocked around her back home in Dublin.

And while Claire enjoyed her lifestyle and worked hard at her career in insurance, Abby knew that deep down all her eldest sister had ever wanted was to settle down and have a family. Pretty much like herself but patently
un
like Caroline, who’d never displayed any maternal urges at all, and seemed happy just spending her money and enjoying life.

But to the family’s great delight, Claire had started seeing and eventually got engaged to a lovely guy called Zach Cross, although their mother had initially been more than a little concerned about the fact that he worked for the NYPD.

“Be careful, they’re all alcoholics!” Teresa, (who was a huge fan of American crime novels) warned.

But apparently, Zach worked in the traffic department, and they’d met when Claire tried to talk her way out of a parking ticket he was about to issue. They were a fantastic couple, who Abby thought would make absolutely brilliant parents.

“Sadly no–nothing to report yet,” Teresa confirmed.

“Well, maybe we should all go over and see her.” Caroline said, winking at Abby “Any excuse for a bit of New York shopping, what do you think?”

Again, Abby felt tense and uncomfortable. For one thing, she was terrified of flying, and for another, since her exploits with
that
dress she was also terrified of shopping!

“Sure, we’ll wait and see,” Teresa intervened quickly and by her tone, Abby knew that her mother had sensed she wasn’t particularly enamoured of this idea. She flashed her a grateful smile.

Still, shopping and flying aside, it would actually be nice to catch up with her oldest sister, whom Abby hadn’t seen much of since she moved to America. Unlike the rest of the family, she’d never been out to New York to visit Claire, and she and Zach hadn’t been home for too many visits since they got married two years back. Claire had phoned often in the aftermath of her break-up with Kieran, and Abby had been meaning to call her many times over the last while, but had just never got round to it. She bit her lip, hoping that Claire wasn’t upset by the lack of contact on Abby’s part, especially when she’d always been so good to her.

“I must give her call soon,” she said.

“Do she’d love to hear from you,” Teresa smiled. “So how have you been yourself, love?” she asked then. “How’s work?”

“Oh, very busy–you know yourself.” Abby shifted with discomfort at having the conversation directed as to how she was.

“Yes, Caroline tells me you’ve been working late in the office a lot,” her mother ventured softly. “You shouldn’t do too much, pet–work isn’t everything, you know.”

But it’s all I have now
, Abby wanted to say but didn’t. None of them would understand that without work to concentrate on, she would have fallen apart a long time ago. “I know that Mum,” she said with a forced smile.

“Well, I might have just the thing to take your mind off work Abs,” Caroline trilled. “There’s this fab new place in town called
Rapture
. It’s a day spa, and they do all sorts of relaxing and de-stressing treatments. The three of us could go together for a pamper day sometime–my treat and–”

“Um, no thanks,” Abby interjected quickly, the mention of the spa immediately triggering mortifying memories of the weekend away that never was. She’d been such an idiot, hadn’t she? To foolishly think that Kieran was taking her to a fancy hotel and spa, when as it turned out he’d intended no such thing…

In any case, Abby was self-conscious about the idea of some stranger putting his or her hands all over her body. Why people enjoyed that kind of thing was beyond her–as Kieran would say, it was only another excuse to charge people an arm and a leg for something they really didn’t need.