Famous (Famous #1) (6 page)

“It’s just… perfect,” her voice sounded thick.

“Yeah. I wanted to give you something that you wouldn’t get from anyone else.”

She blinked a couple of times to push back the tears, and shook her head. “Only you would take the time to listen to me enough to understand what I really wanted. Thank you.”

She took the guitar out of the case, and strummed across it. The perfect chord filled the room.

“You don’t have to play it now. I know you’re tired.”

“Are you tired?”

I nodded. “Yeah, beat. Today was rough.”

“Too tired to play a song for me?” she asked hopefully.

“You want me to play it before you do? It’s yours.”

“Yeah, but somehow it feels like it’s
ours
, so yes, I’d love to hear you play. Just one song?”

I smiled, shedding my coat and kicking off my shoes, as was my habit when we hung out together. I pushed back on the bed until my back was resting against the headboard, and reached for the guitar.

“You know I can refuse you nothing.” My words were telling, and a little too revealing. I tried to cover. “It is your birthday, after all.”

“Nothing?” she said softly, and my heart thumped in my chest. She’d just had a fight with David but who knew how she’d feel in the cold light of day. I felt it best to ignore the comment and try to distract myself from the implied meaning of her question.

I softly strummed the guitar, and watched Brooklyn’s face. She looked thoughtful, like she was thinking about something, and I longed to know what it was.

“Do you want to talk about what happened with David? I’ll listen if you need to talk about it,” I said over the chords I was playing; then started to pluck out some individual notes. Her eyes came up to meet mine, and she took a breath.

“Um… it’s not that important. Just, I guess I was just tired, and I didn’t want…” Brook bit her lip and went to the little refrigerator, pulling out a soda.

I nodded silently as I watched her back. She brought me a beer. I stopped strumming, and cracked it open to take a long pull. I felt a measure of satisfaction knowing what she was implying, like a huge weight had been lifted from my chest, and I could suddenly breathe again. She told me on the phone that the argument also had something to do with me. I could only guess that he could sense the connection Brook and I shared, and was jealous. I couldn’t bloody blame him, but knowing he had a right to be with her, only served to put me in hell. I decided not to press her, mostly because I didn’t need the details to add to the torment I felt whenever he was in town. My imagination was bad enough.

“What should I sing? Something soft, so you can relax, and sleep?”

She crawled onto the bed next to me and curled up on her side, her head resting on the pillow next to me. “That sounds good.”

Here was a golden opportunity. Brook and I connected over music, and this was a chance to tell her how I felt, to use the song to communicate what I couldn’t talk to her about. I knew she was trying to push down her own feelings, and
close her eyes
to what was happening between us. I knew what I wanted to say, and which song to sing.

I picked out the first few notes of the bluesy tune, and then started to sing… words that said
I know you don’t want to love me, and even though I know it, I can’t stay away…

I felt Brook’s hand come out to rest on my leg just above my knee, and she moved closer to me on the bed. My heart started to jump around inside my chest, but I kept on singing. These were words I couldn’t speak to her, even though I was dying inside.

She was closing her eyes every time she chose to ignore or fight the feelings I knew deep down in my gut that she had for me. I knew she was fighting falling in love with me. It would be easier not to, and I knew that, too, but she needed to know I would still be in her life… always waiting and hoping; no matter what.

When the last of the notes died out, I slid off the bed and moved to put the new guitar back in the case. I felt her eyes watching me until I came back to the bed and resumed my position next to her, only this time I laid down, and turned on my side toward her. I could drown in those deep blue eyes and I wanted to. I wanted this to be my life… not David’s or any other man’s. In my heart, she belonged to me.

I picked up her hand and brought it to my mouth, barely brushing my lips across the top of her knuckles. Her eyes became liquid as she looked at me. “I know you don’t want to see it, but I know you can feel what’s happening between us, Brook. It’s real.”

She slid the hand I’d kissed across my stomach, and snuggled in tighter, resting her head on my shoulder. She didn’t utter a sound for at least ten minutes. I tightened my arms, and turned my face so my lips were resting on her forehead. I kissed her softly and she nodded against my mouth.

“I know, but I’m scared.”

“You don’t need to be. You know, if you’re going to marry me, you’ll have to trust me,” I said softly, waiting with bated breath for her response. I’d asked her to marry me before, but always in a flirty or teasing way. This time I was serious. Seeing her with David, once again, had a way of strengthening my resolve. The seconds ticked by in silence before she finally spoke.

“I do. I trust you more than anyone in my life. That’s part of the reason I’m scared.”

As I drew in my breath, my chest rose and fell beneath her head. I ran my hand lightly down her arm, then back up to cup the back of her head, her luxurious hair sliding around my fingers. “It’s late, I should go,” I murmured quietly after a while.

“Why? I mean… we’ve spent lots of nights asleep together… so will you stay?”

Those were the most beautiful words she’d ever said to me, and I knew she wanted to fall asleep in my arms. A great river of contentment flowed through me.

“Okay, but let’s get you beneath the covers before you fall asleep.” She nodded, and moved from me to pull the covers back and crawl under them. I did the same, but first removing my button-down and my socks, but leaving on my jeans and t-shirt. I was there to take care of her, to make her feel safe… to offer comfort.

I flipped off the lamp, and she curled back into me when I gathered her close.

“Cade, thank you for everything today,” she said softly in the darkness. “You’re so good to me. The guitar is very beautiful. I love it.”

“You’re welcome, love.” I turned my head to place a soft kiss on her forehead. “My pleasure.”

I felt my lids getting heavy as sleep came up to consume me. Brook’s breathing was already soft and even, rushing against the skin of my neck as she slept. Now it was safe to tell her the words my heart was screaming… the most profound truth in my world.

“I love you… more than anything, Brook. I love you.”

Chapter 1

It’s a Wrap

The last week of filming wrung me out emotionally… I didn’t know whether I’d be capable of putting on a happy facade or if I’d get through the evening at all. This was my first movie and going in, I didn’t know what to expect, but I did expect to fall apart. I kept telling myself to hold it together, but my insides were like jelly, and I felt like I would lose it at any moment. I’d still see Wendy, Jennifer, Ethan, and the rest of the gang in L.A., but I wouldn’t see the one who mattered most. Cade would be halfway around the world.

I could feel my chest tighten, physically tighten like iron bands were winding around me. Considering the advances in modern communication, it would still feel like a million miles after all we’d been through together. I steadied myself as my boyfriend and I walked into the restaurant, then meshed into the throng of the familiar faces that had become like a second family.

David was here. Of course he was. He was stamping his claim on me as he always did; more so in the past months, especially when Cade was around. I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing.

Cade.

Coming to terms with the fact that I wouldn’t see his gorgeous, encouraging face every day as I had for the past five months of production and pre-production, was more than difficult. I was failing miserably. He and I had become each other’s lifeline in what was a somewhat terrifying experience to both of us. He was more experienced than I was, and I looked to him for what to expect and how to navigate this completely new world.

The fact that I’d be saying goodbye to him in a few short hours, made it hard to breathe. David’s hand in mine offered no comfort as my eyes scanned the room for Cade’s gaze. I noticed Jennifer by the bar, and wanted to go talk to her.

“David… um, I’m gonna get a drink with Jen. Be back in a minute.” I could see that he wanted to stick to my side like glue, but his presence had me feeling suffocated. I wished he wasn’t here at all. Not tonight. I left him standing alone in the middle of the room as I moved toward her.

“Hey, Jen. Hard to believe it’s really over, huh?” I could feel my voice catching as tears threatened to choke me.

She nodded, then hugged me. “Yeah, I love all of you guys, and sure, we will miss this, but we’ll see each other all the time. Ethan is already planning our next get together! Game night will happen, but in L.A.”

I swallowed the pain in my voice, and blinked my eyes several times to keep from making a huge fool of myself. I probably wouldn’t be attending any parties for a while. Not until I had acclimated a little better to Cade’s absence. Being around everyone would be a very painful reminder, and I was sure it would take me some time to adjust.

“Is everyone here?” I hoped she wouldn’t understand what I was really asking as I searched for blue eyes in the crowd.

“I haven’t seen Cade or Martin yet, but otherwise, yeah, I think so.”

“Hmmm. I just want to get a chance to thank everyone, and you know, say a proper goodbye.” I felt like an idiot as the babbling words fell from my mouth; uncomfortable with my lack of control over my emotions.

She looked at me knowingly, hesitating a bit before continuing. “Yeah, I think I do know, Brook. Everyone can see how much you and Cade mean to each other. You don’t have to hide it. It’s only natural that you’d get close to each other through this.”

My breath caught, and my eyes filled with tears. “Everyone falls in love with him, don’t they?”

She nodded. “Yes, but working so closely with him…” Her words trailed off.

“Yeah, we shared a lot of good moments together.” My voice wavered despite my best effort. “I couldn’t have done this without him; he’s an amazing actor.” I paused for a moment, not sure what else to say. He was a huge star and everyone knew how talented he was, I didn’t need to reiterate.

“And, he’s crazy about you,” Jen said, squeezing my hand. “Distance won’t change that.”

I nodded, my chin jutting out as I swallowed tightly. “I didn’t realize how much I’m going to miss him.” I tried to brush the tears from my cheeks quickly so no one else would see. But I did realize. I’d been aware of it from very early on. “I wish David wasn’t here tonight. I don’t think I’ll be able to really say goodbye to Cade properly with him hovering around like he does. This thing between us has been so unfair to Cade.”

She looked at me for a moment before she spoke. “You didn’t know he’d fall in love with you; it’s not your fault, and I’m sure Cade doesn’t blame you. Whatever it is between you, everyone noticed. There was no stopping it.” Her eyes were watering, too.

I nodded as I looked at the ground and ran my hands through my hair. I couldn’t look at her.
Cade in love with me?
I was nobody, and he was amazing; every girl’s dream. Everyone wanted to be with him.

“Brook, try to get a moment alone with him. You’ll regret it forever, if you don’t. But, I’m sure you guys will keep in touch after this is over, and there is one more film.” She smiled as she tried to reassure me. The books were a trilogy, and we’d for sure have one more movie, but we weren’t sure about the third. That one fact was the only thing keeping me sane. But filming didn’t begin for more than six months.

I was fidgety, standing next to Jen at the bar, when I saw David coming toward me. “I really care about him very much.” My voice was uneven as I continued in a low, rushed tone. “I’ve known what was happening,” I shrugged, “but I guess, didn’t know how to stop it.” I tried to speak quickly before David intruded on us.

God! Could he let me be with my friends for five fucking minutes? I’d gotten more and more impatient with him, the closer I got to Cade, and then, the guilt ate away at me.

Didn’t he understand that tonight was going to be painful? He couldn’t know how hard it was going to be, but still, I knew he didn’t care. I tried to swallow the tightness in my throat, and blink back my tears, so he wouldn’t see. He should know me better. I felt like my misery was shining like a beacon on my face.

“Hey, there you are, hon.”

I tensed as he approached.

“Hi, Jennifer,” David said.

Jen nodded to him. “It’s nice to see you again, David. Brook, I’m gonna mingle. I think I just saw Cade come in over there by Dawson.” She pointed toward the far end of the restaurant.

David tensed at my side, and his face tightened as he glanced down at me.

Just what I needed; his pissy mood would only make things worse.
God
, I asked myself,
why did he have to be here?

My eyes scanned for Cade across the room. The last couple of times on set with him had been so emotional I wasn’t sure either one of us would make it to the wrap party. But, when it came down to it, he was really the only reason I was here.

David or not, I had to talk to Cade before the end of this thing. I had to let him know what our time together meant to me. He made no secret of his feelings for me even though I’d struggled to keep mine at bay the entire time. But now, at the end, I couldn’t let him believe I didn’t care, or that being away from him would be easy for me.

The problem was, how was I going to tell him all I needed to say? Even if I could get away from David long enough, could I get through it without completely breaking down?

As I looked around for Cade, my mind wandered back on the last week or so. Knowing our time together was ending, it was weird, as if neither one of us knew how to act. We’d both been a little distant and uptight, on and off set. I guess we were both preparing to walk away from each other. Neither of us ever quite managed to come to terms with it, and I had been dreading this moment for weeks.

Up until recently, Cade and I had such an easy coexistence. We were both passionate people so we did have our little tiffs throughout filming, but neither one of us could stay mad at the other for long. I mean, he’d become my best friend. It was only natural we’d argue sometimes because we were never afraid to piss each other off, but his presence alone could take the edge off of any situation that had me agitated. I felt comforted knowing I’d see him every day, and no matter what shit Martin threw at us, we’d get through it together. And, he accepted absolutely everything about me.

Unconditionally. It was mutual.

We gravitated toward each other constantly. When one of us was tense over an upcoming scene, we’d get dinner or just hang out. It was always Cade I wanted around. We even ended up falling asleep together in one another’s rooms a few times after a long night of running lines. The most recent, being the night of my birthday; the same night I sent David packing.

Cade and I were comfortable, and natural around each other. It was easy, despite the incredible sexual tension that flowed like an electric circuit between us. It didn’t escape my notice how acutely aware of each other’s discomfort we both were when David was around, but though David ranted at me, Cade understood. Every woman in the cast and crew ogled him, and he was completely oblivious to it all. He’d become a huge force in my life and now I didn’t know how I’d cope with going back to my life in L.A., and being so far away from him, knowing if I called, he couldn’t come over.

Jesus.

How would I be able to hide the pain or the loss? I didn’t know if I was strong enough.

David was talking, and I didn’t register what he said. “Hey, earth to Brooklyn! What’s your deal? You’re acting like you couldn’t care less if I’m here!”

My eyes were locked on Cade’s face. He was staring straight back at me, and I could see my pain mirrored in his eyes. My heart thumped in my chest so loudly, I thought everyone around me could hear it. He looked so sad, and I was aching.

“Um… huh?” I asked, tearing my eyes away from Cade to look at him.

“Hullo?” David was angry which pissed me off. He was just going to have to fucking understand. What the hell was his deal anyway? He’d been a production assistant but was now an actor himself. Mid-list maybe, but still, he’d been in a couple of films so he should understand how close you get to people you practically live with for months on end. I didn’t go all ballistic on him when he was on location so he could just back off.

“Look, I’m really sorry, but tonight is about saying goodbye to a lot of people who have become like family to me. I’m going to need to talk to them, and I may not be able to spend every second with you tonight. I’m sorry!” I glared at him. “I just wish you would have called before you flew up here. You should have just waited in L.A. Jesus, I’m going home tomorrow!”

He looked more pissed off than hurt by my words. If we were both being honest, he was more like a friend than a boyfriend. Maybe that isn’t how he saw me, but especially during these last few months, that’s how I was starting to see him.

These last few months… My mind screamed, and my face burned.

I met David when I was very young. I was infatuated with him at the time, but lately, I realized it was nothing more than a child’s crush. He’d made it into more, but I was unclear if he really wanted me, or was more interested in all that went with being near my family. My aunt was a Hollywood agent with big connections, and he wanted them. End of story.

I withdrew my hand from his with a hard tug. “I’m going to talk to my friends. I’ll find you later.”

He huffed angrily as I walked away. But I didn’t care. “Brook, this is bullshit!” he almost shouted, and stormed off in the opposite direction.

I was already looking back toward the bar where Cade had been the last time I’d seen him. He was gone, and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I wandered through the crowd, mindlessly chatting with Ethan and the others, continually searching yet trying to not be obvious.

My mind wandered back to Cade’s last night in Vancouver. I still had some scenes to shoot with Wendy and Jennifer, so he was finished a few days before me.

He’d been short tempered and upset all night, and after we finished shooting one of the more emotional scenes, he’d retreated into his trailer. I recognized his brooding mood, and knew he’d need to talk.

I went to find him after I’d changed out of my costume, and he opened the door immediately when I knocked. There were tears in his eyes, as he pulled me into his arms and close against his chest. He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply.

“Are…are you okay? Are you mad at me?” I whispered as his arms tightened around me.

“No Brook, I’m not mad.” His face turned into my neck and buried his face in my hair. “It’s just, I guess I’m feeling lost because we…well, this is almost over.”

My heart ached, and my eyes closed.

“I know, me, too. I’m gonna miss, uh, everyone, so much.” We both knew we were talking about each other, and nothing more.

I hugged him back hard, my hand moving up to hold the back of his head and play with the soft strands of his hair there. He smelled like heaven, his scent now so familiar, and I inhaled deeply.