Far Country (11 page)

           
Steve stood frozen, too stunned to move or speak. He was older, more muscular,
and with a hard edge to his movements and eyes. But it was still David.

           
David’s eyes continued to bore accusingly in to Deborah’s.  “Tell me,” he
hissed angrily, “that you are not here with
him
.”

           
“No, she is here with us, too,” Pete stepped up calmly on one side of
Steve.  Chuck stood squarely on the other. No one spoke for a moment.
Finally, Pete stepped forward and offered a hand.  “My name is Pete. 
We all work together at the park.  Is there something we can help you
with?”

           
David ignored the hand.  “I came to see Deborah,” he answered
dismissively. Pete dropped the hand but continued in his calm friendly voice to
try and engage the stranger in conversation. “So you’re a friend of hers,
then?” He asked, looking toward Deborah’s stiff face for confirmation, but she
remained silent, watching both the stranger and Steve with a mixture of dread
and uncertainty.

           
The stranger’s gaze turned to Steve.  A sneer crossed his handsome
features. “You could say.” He acknowledged sarcastically. “Seeing as we were
engaged.”

           
Stunned silence reigned as all eyes turned to Deborah for confirmation. She
blanched white then blushed crimson and looked as if she were about to cry. She
glanced toward Steve, who was staring blankly at the two of them.

           
“You two were engaged…?” he asked in disbelief, clearly wanting her to deny
what he had said.

           
“I broke up with you almost two years ago, David!” She answered in a low, shaky
voice.  She turned to Steve. “We broke up a long time ago,” she repeated,
a hopeless look in her eyes. “before he even joined the marine corps. I didn’t
say anything about David and me because I never thought you’d – never thought
we’d…” she stuttered into a helpless silence.

           
David didn’t miss the implication of her words. His anger blazed and distorted
his handsome features.  He turned on her in fury.  “You knew Deb! The
one person
! And you’re here  -
with him!”
He gripped her
arms. “I loved you! I came back here looking for you, and I find you
with
him!”
He shouted, shaking her angrily.

           
Snacks flew in all directions as Chuck and Pete scrambled to restrain David.

           
“What the hell is going on here?” Chuck roared, wrenching the stranger’s arm
behind his back. “Back off, or I will arrest you, whoever you are!” He
threatened, his eyes flashing with indignation to see one of his rangers
manhandled.

           
David stood firmly sandwiched between Chuck and Pete, panting in his fury. He
glared from Deborah to Steve, clearly far from being calm enough to be released
from their lock hold on his arms.

           
Deborah rubbed her shoulders, the bruises already showing through the red
prints where David’s hands had dug deeply into her arms.  “I wrote you,
David!” she told him resentfully. “This is my job! I was assigned here! Steve
is assigned here, too, just like I am - it wasn’t like I asked to come here!”

           
David sneered again.  “But you didn’t mind it, did you?” He told her
sarcastically. “You’ve always had a crush on him.  You didn’t have a
chance while my sister was around, but now, what’s to stop you?” He laughed
harshly and spat at her feet.  “No wonder you broke up with me!”

           
“I broke up with you because you were acting crazy!” She shot back at him
defiantly.

           
“I saw how you were looking at him just now!” He retorted, his voice rising in
renewed anger. Then he winced as Chuck and Pete automatically tightened their
hold.

           
“She’s telling the truth.”  Steve spoke suddenly, although he avoided looking
at Deborah, who paled at his flat statement. “We work in the park together,” he
said woodenly. “Nothing more than that. Trust me.”

           
David’s face twisted into disgust. “I trusted you with my sister,” he said in a
low, ugly voice.  “Look what you did to her!”

           
“It was an accident, David,” Steve answered through gritted teeth. “I’d give
anything to change that night. I can’t stand the thought of her lying in that
bed!”

           
David smiled coldly. He spoke in quiet triumph.  “You won’t have to think
of her any more at all, Steve. That is why I am home.  She died of a
stroke last week. She’s dead,” he repeated. .”You’ve killed her at last.”

           
Silence followed as Steve stared in shock at David. His head began to spin.
Sarah
was dead?
It was too much to comprehend.  Steve staggered back a
couple of steps, trying to take it in
. Was this some kind of joke? Was David
lying?
  But no, it was there in David’s eyes.  His own pain was
too raw to conceal.  Sarah was gone.

           
Abruptly, Steve turned on his heel and strode away from them all. 

           
Sarah was dead!
He’d never really given up all hope that she would wake
up someday. The knowledge that there was nothing left to hope for crushed him.
Dimly, he heard David’s voice yelling after him, and he paused to make out the
words.

           
“You killed her, Steve! She could have been anything, but you took it all away!
You killed her!” Steve could hear the pure hate in David’s voice until someone,
probably Chuck, managed to choke off his cursing rant.

           
But it didn’t matter. He
was
guilty.  He didn’t need to hear
David’s accusations to know that. He started walking again, with no clear
thought of where he was going. He just needed to put as much space as possible
between himself and David – and Deborah.

           
Steve had only covered about half a mile when he heard a truck slowing down
behind him. His back stiffened and he braced himself for a scene. No matter how
well meaning, there was no way that he could get into that truck…no way that he
could explain, or even sit there and deal with their silence... and no way that
he could possibly be that close to Deborah! The enormity of his failure threatened
to drive him to his knees right there in the middle of the road.
He had
betrayed Sarah
. The last and only thing that he had to give her was his
faithfulness, and in the end, he had failed her even in that.

           
Steve turned to wave the truck on, and then stopped in surprise. Reverend
Graham was pulling over beside him. He stopped the truck, rolled down the
window of the cab, and flashed Steve a quizzical smile.  “I’m on my way
back from the grocery store,” he explained.  “I don’t know why you’re out
here by yourself, but I do know that it’s about to start raining cats and dogs
in about two minutes. You’d better get in.”

           
Steve nodded numbly.  As much as he wanted to be alone, it would take hours
to walk back to the park, and he could already feel a blister forming on his
heel from the wet sneakers. He climbed in and mumbled his thanks, then lapsed
into silence, staring out of the window.

           
Reverend Graham pulled back onto the road.  Except for an occasional
appraising glance, he respected Steve’s silence. Fat drops of rain spattered
heavily on the windshield and the older man concentrated on negotiating the
twisting road as the latest downpour quickly shrouded the road in a liquid gray
blur.

           
At last they pulled into the ranger compound and stopped in front of Steve’s
small trailer.  Reverend Graham turned off the motor and waited. 
Steve knew he should thank Reverend Graham and get out, but somehow it was hard
to move. He realized that he was shaking.

           
“Steve,” Reverend Graham asked carefully. “What’s happened?”

           
After a moment Steve answered in detached voice. “David’s in town. We ran into
him at the store. He came here looking for Deborah.”

           
Reverend Graham’s eyebrows rose in surprise and his hands tightened on the
steering wheel. “Did Deborah go off with him?” He asked quickly.

           
Steve noted the sudden concern in the pastor’s voice and sought to reassure
Deborah’s father. “Pete and Chuck are with them,” he said tiredly. “They had
him in a lock hold, when I left. David hadn’t expected to see me and he got
pretty upset. Deb didn’t look happy to see him, though.”

           
Reverend Graham exhaled slowly, clearly relieved that Deborah was not alone
with David.

           
“I see,” he said at last.  “I take it things were – unpleasant as ever
between you two?”

           
Steve gave a short, hollow laugh. “Sarah died last week of a stroke.  As
far as he’s concerned, I murdered her.”

           
Reverend Graham let out a long painful sigh.  He started to put his hand
on Steve’s shoulder, but dropped it back to the seat as he felt the young man
tense at his touch.  “I am sorry, Steve.”

 He studied Steve’s
bleak face.

           
“You know it’s not true, Steve,” the pastor told him.  “David still wants
to blame you for the accident. That’s what it was, Steve.  Just a tragic
accident!  You did not murder Sarah.”

           
“I may as well have,” he muttered.  “She died because of me.”

           
“She died because she was in an accident.  You were careless, and that
carelessness had horrible consequences, but it was still an accident.  You
would never have harmed Sarah. You loved her.  Deep down, David knows that
you did not kill his sister!”

           
“It doesn’t matter!” Steve exploded, his voice cracking with emotion.  He
pounded his fist on the dashboard.  “Whether I meant it or not, Sarah is
dead because of me!  How am I supposed to live with that?”

           
Reverend Graham rested his elbow on the steering wheel.  He smiled at
Steve sadly.  “You can’t.” He answered simply.  “And nothing you do
can change what happened. You only have one choice.  Give it to Jesus,
Steve.  Ask the Lord to help you carry the burden.  If you can’t do that,
it will crush you.”

           
Steve blinked incredulously at the old man sitting across from him. 
“You’re crazy,” he said flatly.

           
Reverend Graham shook his head. “No, I’m not crazy. I’m telling you the truth,
Steve.  I’ve been walking with the Lord for thirty-three years and
preaching his words for twenty-six.  His love never changes, never fails,
and never grows cold.” Reverend Graham shifted in his seat to look Steve in the
face.  “If you could only believe, Jesus will renew your soul! Replace all
this bitterness with peace.”  Reverend Graham’s blue eyes bored into
Steve’s.  “When was the last time you had peace in your soul, Steve?”

           
Steve shook his head miserably. He could barely remember a time when he was
free from this burden of guilt.

           
Reverend Graham nodded. “You’ve struggled on your own for so long and even I
can see that it hasn’t gotten easier for you. Today, David just took away your
last hope in the world, Steve.” He paused to let that thought soak in, and then
added gently. “Maybe it’s time that you gave God a chance.”

           
Steve shook his head.  “The whole God thing – it didn’t work for me back
then, and I don’t think it will change anything now.  To tell the truth,”
Steve took a deep shaky breath.  “I have to agree with David. 
Sarah’s paid the price for my pride.  I deserve whatever happens to
me.”  He reached for the door handle.  “I’m really cold,” he
muttered.  I’m going to go take a shower.”

           
But Reverend Graham reached out and gripped Steve’s arm so tightly, he was had
no choice but to remain in the truck.

           
“That’s your self-pity talking, Steve!” He told the young man sharply. “You
made a terrible mistake and you’ve spent the last six years getting comfortable
with being miserable and feeling guilty. But no matter what you’ve done, it’s
not so bad that God won’t forgive you and help you to a new life!”  He
took a deep breath and spoke more gently. “It’s called ‘Grace’. It’s a gift you
can never earn. It is given freely from the One who loves you, just as you are.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to know that you need him, and
then, just ask for him to come into your life. He is waiting, Steve! You only
have to ask.”

           
Why is he saying all this?
Steve wondered tiredly, only half absorbing
the preacher’s words. 
I don’t need a sermon today of all days.

           
Aloud, he said, “Yeah, I’ll remember.
Thanks for the ride, Reverend Graham.”

           
The pastor sighed and let go of Steve’s arm.
Had the boy heard anything he
had said?

“No
problem, Steve.  I’m here if you need me. Anytime.  Don’t be afraid
to call.”

           
“Right,” Steve replied dismissively as he opened the door of the truck. But then
Steve paused, thinking that he shouldn’t leave things between them this way.
You
owe this man something!
 Steve sat back on the seat but he couldn’t
look at Reverend Graham. The man was too perceptive. He didn’t want anyone to
try and stop him from doing what he had to do next.