Fated (18 page)

"Look
at me, Lauren." I immediately followed Caden's hoarse order, my eyes
meeting his burning gaze as the harsh lines of his face told me just how close
he was. I couldn't take anymore, and I cried out as I lost myself to a climax
that almost shattered me, my body shuddering as my release took control of my
body. I heard Caden’s shout and I felt him jerking inside of me.

We
were suspended in the moment, nothing else existing outside of us and the
fierce coupling we were drowning in. Caden finally collapsed against me, spent,
and my arms immediately went around him, stroking his back.

I
couldn't put into words what this had felt like. To say that we had just had
sex seemed so lukewarm to what I had experienced. Yet, I wasn't naive enough to
call this love. Caden and I didn't know each other well enough to love each
other. But this had been something beyond the ordinary. Even though I didn't
have much experience in these dizzying sensations, I was sure of it.

I
gave Caden a tremulous smile when he lifted his head. He looked sweaty and
tired and beautiful.

"Are
you sure you still don't want me to chase you around my desk?"

I
laughed at the glimmer of humor in his eyes. In that moment, everything seemed
perfect.

Chapter Twelve

Unfortunately,
the perfect world didn’t last very long. I became acutely aware of how
uncomfortably heavy Caden was as he laid on top of me. I felt awkward and
didn’t know what to say next, so I blurted out whatever came to mind.

“I
need to go to the bathroom.”

Caden
raised an eyebrow but he obligingly rolled off me. He watched as I made my way
to a door that I assumed was his bathroom, resisting the urge to wrap the sheet
around me and take it with me. It seemed ludicrous to feel modesty after
everything that had transpired, but I felt more than physically bare. I felt
emotionally naked, and I wanted to gather up any armor I had, both physical and
mental.

It
was a relief when I closed the bathroom door behind me, away from Caden’s
piercing eyes. I smothered a gasp when I saw my reflection in the mirror. My
curly hair was disheveled and looked even wilder than usual. My lips were
swollen and my neck was red and abraded by Caden’s stubble. I could see marks
of his passion on my body, and I couldn’t squelch the feeling of satisfaction
that rose in me.

I
turned on the faucet, running the cool water over my wrists to calm my
fluttering pulse. I could handle this. Caden and I had simply succumbed to
desire. It didn’t make me a weak person, and it didn’t mean I was out of control.
I had chosen everything that happened today, and I could choose what happened
next.

I
ran my fingers through my hair, trying to put it in some semblance of order,
and then took a deep breath before opening the bathroom door. Caden was still
in bed, propped up against the headboard. His gaze was speculative as he
watched me return to bed. The afternoon sun blazed through the windows, and I
felt exposed. I immediately dove under the sheets, raising it so that it was
wrapped around my torso. I sat close enough so it wasn’t obvious that I was
trying to put some distance between us, but far enough away that I could still
think with a clear head.

I
tried to keep my gaze on Caden’s face since he wasn’t as modest as I was, not
trying to cover anything as he laid on the bed, although I saw that he had
disposed of the condom in my absence. There was a glimmer of a smile on his
face.

“Trying
to figure out how to run away?”

I
shook my head, although I wasn’t sure if that was completely untrue. “No, just trying
to figure out what this means for our working relationship.”

I
jumped when Caden reached towards me, but he just took my hand.

“There’s
no reason this has to affect our working relationship. We can keep that
separate from what we do on our own time.”

I
looked at him skeptically. “That’s easier said than done. I think it’s
impossible for this not to affect how we act in the office.”

Caden
studied me for a few moments before speaking. “Do you want this to be the only
time? Do you want to go back to a strictly professional relationship?”

I
bit my lip. My answer should be a resounding yes, that nothing good could come
out of this. But some good had already come out of it. Despite feeling awkward
around Caden at the moment, I didn’t regret anything that had happened between
us. A seedling of hope had sprouted inside of me. Not a hope of Caden and I
together, but a hope that maybe I hadn’t been permanently damaged by my past.
That I could lead a life where I wasn’t just pretending to feel, that I could
do more than just mimic the emotions I saw in other people. I never thought I
could feel so free and give into my body’s natural desires.

“No,”
I replied with a wry smile. “I have a feeling that I’ll want to do this again a
few more times.”

His
eyes darkened but his expression remained light. “As long as keep this out of
the office, I don’t see why we can’t continue enjoying each other. We’ll just
keep it separate from work.”

I
wasn’t sure how successful that was going to be, but I nodded since I had no
other suggestion. “As long as we keep the boundaries clear, I guess we can
try.”

Caden
looked relieved, and I felt a warm glow that he had apparently been worried I
was going to insist on a strictly professional relationship. His grip on my
hand tightened as he pulled me closer to him.

“Now
that it’s settled, why don’t we get started on a repeat performance?”

I
laughed, feeling lighter than I had in a long time. It felt so good to connect
with a human being, to feel like I wasn’t alone in the world, if only for a short
time. Because I had a feeling our flame would burn out fast. It was far too hot
and scorching for it to last, but instead of bothering me, it made me feel
unburdened. This was for pleasure, and for pleasure’s sake only.

“I
need to get my strength back up,” I teased. “And if I recall, there was a
promise of lasagna.”

“Shit.”
Caden jumped out of bed and strode out of the bedroom. I could hear him opening
the oven door in the kitchen and the clatter of a pan. He had a rueful look on
his face when he returned to the bedroom.

“Unless
you like your lasagna blackened, I think we’re going to have to order out.”

I
debated whether or not I should leave. This was all feeling a little too cozy
for a strictly physical relationship, but I couldn’t help craving Caden’s
company.

“Sounds
good to me,” I said breezily. I wrapped the sheet more firmly around me as I
rose from the bed, reaching down for my discarded clothes. “Let me just get
dressed.”

Caden
walked over to his dresser and pulled out a large blue shirt, handing it to me.
The material was soft, as if it was well-worn and washed several times.

“Here,
this will be a lot more comfortable.”

His
words were casual, but I couldn’t help the flutter in my stomach at his
gesture. I told myself not to read too much into it, that he was just being
polite. I quickly pulled the shirt over my head, relieved that it was long
enough to almost reach my knees since I had no underwear. I watched Caden
silently as he pulled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, looking so much younger
and vulnerable than he normally did.

I
followed him back into the living room as he pulled out some menus from a
drawer. He held them up to me. “Chinese or Italian?”

“Chinese,”
I answered decisively. “Beef with broccoli and a spring roll.”

Caden
grinned as he reached for his phone. “I like a decisive woman.”

I
rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the warmth from suffusing my body at his
approving words. Caden was so relaxed and open that I felt intensely drawn to
him.

He
sat down next to me on the sofa after he had placed the order. I forced myself
not to fidget as he watched me. I couldn’t help flinching when he reached out
to smooth my hair back, unused to casual affectionate touches. I smiled
ruefully when my hair sprang back forward, refusing to be contained.

“My
hair has been the bane of my existence,” I said, latching onto the topic to
fill the silence. “I tried to get it permanently straightened once, but it just
turned into a frizzy nightmare.”

“Your
hair is beautiful,” he said softly, rubbing a lock between his fingers. “Just
like the rest of you.”

I
cleared my throat, feeling flattered and uncomfortable at the same time. “Thank
you.” I swiftly changed the topic. “When did you know you wanted to be a
photographer?”

My tactic
was painfully obvious, but Caden went along with it. I was relieved when he
dropped his hand from my hair.

“I
don’t know if I ever decided I wanted to be a photographer,” he replied with a
shrug. “I just started taking pictures, and pretty soon people started noticing
them. People never stopped noticing them, and I decided it was a good enough of
a profession as any.”

I
frowned at his explanation. “That’s it? Aren’t you supposed to have passion for
your craft or something?”

He
gave me a slight smile. “I never said I didn’t have a passion for it, but I
leave that for the photographs. I’d rather show it than talk about it."

“Well,
there’s certainly plenty of passion in your photographs,” I said dryly.

“Some
more than others.”

Pleasure
coursed through me as his gaze drifted down my body. My face was flushed when
his eyes lazily made their way back up.

“We
can go through your photos now, if you want,” he said softly. My mind rebelled
a bit at that. As much as I had enjoyed the experience, I wasn’t sure if I was
ready to see the pictures yet. It was one thing to be lost in the moment, but
it was another to see concrete proof of how brazenly I had acted.

“Actually,
I think I want to wait on seeing them,” I admitted. “I’m not sure if it’s
something I want to see yet.”

Caden
nodded in understanding, and the rest of the conversation was kept light and
superficial, making me relax. When the food arrived, there was an intimacy to
eating together, splayed out on the couch, as if we were a couple enjoying a
lazy Saturday. I banished the thought as soon as I had it. It was not only
dangerous to think that way, but it made me feel antsy, bringing back the
desire to bolt.

Fortunately,
Caden kept the rest of the afternoon casual, and I began to believe that this
could really work. We could enjoy ourselves physically for as long as it
lasted, and keep our working relationship separate. By the time Macie returned,
I was sure we would be burned out from each other, and parting would be easy.

So
it was with a clear mind that I fell back into bed with Caden after we were
done eating, surprised that our hunger for each other was still so sharp.

Afterwards,
when I announced I would be going home instead of staying the night, Caden
didn’t protest and I didn’t feel disappointed that he didn’t. It was proof
positive that we were on a path to mutually beneficial pleasure, and not
destruction.

Chapter Thirteen

I
couldn’t help wondering what Caden was up to the rest of the weekend. Despite
my thoughts, I was relieved that I didn’t spend the entire weekend fixating on
him. It was more of an idle curiosity. We had agreed to keep the physical
relationship casual and separate from work, and I was really starting to
believe that it was possible.

When
Monday morning rolled around, I was feeling optimistic about the whole
situation and entered the office with a smile. Caden was already behind his
desk and grinned when he saw me.

“Have
a good weekend, Lauren?” he asked with a sly smile.

“It
was okay,” I answered neutrally, suppressing my amusement. “Nothing too
earth-shattering happened.”

I
couldn’t contain my laughter anymore when I reached my desk and saw that the
calla lilies were not only fresh again, but they had doubled in volume. The
vase was bursting with the flowers that it could barely contain.

“Wow,
these are some magical flowers. Not only do they last forever, but they
multiply like rabbits.”

Caden
grinned as he sauntered towards me. “I was wondering when you were going to
notice.”

I
resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “I noticed a while ago. It was hard not to.”
I didn’t ask him why he had kept replacing them, because it was an unnecessary
conversation. His motives were his own and I didn’t want to delve into them.

I
was surprised when Caden pulled me towards him, leaning down to kiss me softly.
I was breathless when he released me, but I looked at him with censure.

“What
happened to keeping boundaries?”

He
shrugged. “It was just a kiss.”

I
sighed as I pushed him away. “Caden, I’m serious. This is never going to work
unless we keep things separate. We agreed that we would keep it strictly
professional in the office.”