Fated (33 page)

Brian
loped behind her at a more leisurely pace. I had met him a few times before,
and I thought he was the perfect counterpart to Macie. He was as laidback as
she was hyper, and they had the effect of balancing each other out.

“This
place is gorgeous,” I said when we pulled apart. “I’ve always wanted to eat
here but I never got the chance before I left.”

Brian
finally caught up to his fiancée and settled an arm around her shoulders. He
leaned over to give me a quick kiss on the cheek, and I tried to hide my
awkwardness at the familiarity that he seemed to extend with no thought.

“It’s
good to see you again,” he greeted with an easy smile. “I’m glad you’re finally
here. I thought Macie was going to pull a muscle waiting for you to arrive with
the way her head whipped around every time someone came in.”

“Brian!”
Macie admonished, but she was laughing. She rolled her eyes as she turned to
me. “He’s exaggerating. I just want to make sure I greet all my guests when
they arrive.”

Brian
raised an eyebrow but didn’t contradict her. I had an uneasy feeling that Macie
was anticipating something happening between Caden and me tonight. It
reinforced my conviction that I needed to stay unaffected when I saw him.

“I’m
glad to finally be here too, if only to stop Macie from sustaining a neck
injury. Plus the food.” I grinned ruefully. “Oh, and to celebrate your
engagement too, of course. Congratulations.”

“Thanks,”
Brian said, matching my grin. “I just hope we get through tonight without
having to relive the story of how I proposed a million times. A leaky boat and
hives don’t exactly make for a romantic story.”

“I
thought it was perfect,” Macie said as she leaned up to give him a quick kiss.
Brian’s eyes softened as he gazed down at her, and the love in his expression
was undeniable. I felt an arrow of pain that I tried to suppress. I had once
thought Caden looked at me with the same expression, but I had been tragically
mistaken.

Brian
turned to me, breaking me out of my gloomy thoughts. “You need a drink. What
would you like?”

“A
glass of wine would be great. Anything white,” I said. “Thanks.”

Macie
waited until Brian was out of hearing distance before speaking. “Caden’s not
here yet.”

My
lips thinned as I debated how to respond to her. I didn’t want to be too harsh,
but I needed her to understand that Caden was a topic I didn’t want to discuss.

“Macie,”
I said gently. “I know you’re trying to help, but the last person I want to
talk about is Caden. I know I haven’t told you about what happened between us,
and maybe someday I will, but I can’t now. You’re an amazing friend and I know
you would be nothing but supportive, but I can’t. I can’t talk about it now
because I’m afraid…” I trailed off as I struggled with how to finish the
sentence. I decided to be honest. “I’m afraid I’ll never get over him. I’m
afraid that I’ll spend the rest of my life wanting someone I can’t have. I have
to get over him. I
need
to get over him.”

Macie
looked crestfallen as she listened to me. Her voice was troubled when she spoke.
“I’m so sorry, Lauren. I didn’t realize how deep it went. I didn’t mean to
cause you any more pain. I thought I was helping.”

I
tried to smile, although it was tremulous. “You
are
helping. Now let’s concentrate on
why we’re here tonight. It’s about you, not me.”

Macie
nodded although she still looked saddened. Her expression cleared when Brian
came back with my glass of wine.

Macie
shepherded me around like she was afraid to leave me alone. I was reintroduced
to her parents, who were as lovely as ever, as well as other family members and
friends. I felt guilty that she was paying so much attention to me, since I
knew it was because she was worried about me. I didn’t want her neglecting her
other guests so I nodded towards the other side of the room.

“I
see Hillary and Jessica over there. I’m going to go over and talk to them.”

“I’ll
go with you,” Macie said as she started walking with me. I frowned at her.

“Macie,
I’m okay. You don’t need to follow me around to make sure I don’t fall apart.
I’m fine. Really.”

She
gave me a wry smile. “Was I that obvious?”

“Yes,”
I replied, smiling back. “It’s because you care. I appreciate it. But I’m
really okay.”

Macie
sighed but acquiesced and turned to greet newly arrived guests as I walked
towards Hillary and Jessica. They both smiled widely and greeted me
enthusiastically when they saw me.

“Where’s
Maya?” I asked, looking around the room. “I don’t think I’ve seen her yet.”

“She’s
on her way,” Hillary answered. “She had a last minute appointment that she had
to take.”

I
had learned at dinner the previous night that Maya was a physical therapist,
which fit right in with her nurturing personality.

“There
he is,” Jessica announced in glee. I turned to see who she was looking at. A
tall man with sandy brown hair was talking to Brian animatedly. He was laughing
as he gestured enthusiastically, and Brian started laughing along with him. He
looked vaguely familiar and I tried to place him.

“Who
is he?” I asked.

“Jason,
Macie’s brother!” Jessica exclaimed. “I guess it
has
been a long time since you’ve seen
him.”

I
took another look at him, amazed at how much he had changed. The last time I
had seen him was when Macie and I had graduated from college, so he must have
been around eighteen. I remembered him being tall, but not much else. I
certainly hadn’t remembered him being so handsome.

Jason
chose that moment to turn towards us, and I flushed as I quickly averted my
eyes, embarrassed that I had been caught staring.

“He
saw me gawking at him,” I said with a frown at Jessica, as if it were her
fault. “Talk about embarrassing.”

“Considering
he’s coming over here, I don’t think he minded.” Hillary’s voice was tinged
with amusement.

I
pasted on a smile when he approached us, and then suppressed a laugh when I saw
Jessica straighten so that her breasts pushed invitingly against the neckline
of her dress. For being so thin, she definitely filled out the bodice of her
dress.

“Hi,
Jason,” Hillary said when he reached us. Jessica echoed the greeting, although
her voice was much breathier than Hillary’s casual greeting.

“Hey.
It’s good to see you guys.” Jason turned to me with a grin. “And it’s been
forever since I’ve seen you. Sharon, right?”

“Uh,
no,” I said, although I wasn’t surprised he didn’t remember my name. It had
been about five years since we had last seen each other, and I had just been
his sister’s friend from college. I opened my mouth to reintroduce myself, but
he put his hand up to stop me.

“Wait,
I know your name. Don’t tell me.” His eyes were twinkling as he studied me. “Candy!”

I
raised an eyebrow at his guess. “Do I look like a Candy?’

He
shook his head and squinted at me. “Bertha?”

I
gave him a mock frown although I was trying not to laugh. “Are you telling me I
look like a Bertha? I should probably be insulted.”

Jason
snapped his fingers. “I got it. Helga!”

I
finally laughed, seeing the mischievous glint in his eye. I wasn’t sure if he
actually didn’t remember my name and was trying to be funny about it, or if he
was just pretending that he didn’t, but he was charming either way. I could see
why Jessica was panting after him.

I
held out my hand for a handshake. “Close. It’s Lauren.”

“Lauren.
Of course.” Jason shook my hand with a smile. “I think the last time I saw you,
you were wearing a funny hat and dressed all in black like a goth.”

Hillary
raised an eyebrow as she studied me. “I can’t imagine you as a goth.”

I
rolled my eyes. “He means my cap and gown. It was at our graduation from
DePaul.”

“That’s
right. Funny how you remember some things.” Jason’s smile was crooked. He
shifted his attention to Jessica when she casually grabbed his shirt sleeve.

“I
heard you might be moving to New York. That would be fantastic.” I watched
Jessica as she flirted, fascinated by the way she made everything she said seem
like an invitation. Although I didn’t want to go to that extreme, maybe I could
pick up a few things by studying her.

“It’s
a possibility, but it wouldn’t be for a while. I just started my last year of law
school, and it would be nice to get my first job in New York.”

“I
didn’t know you were in law school,” I commented, although I didn’t know much
about him except that Jessica wanted to get in his pants. “Where do you go?”

“UVA.
It’ll be nice to finally get my nose out of the books after this year and enter
the real world.”

“I’m
impressed, although I hope you’re better at remembering laws and statutes than
you are with names.” I blinked after I spoke. Was I flirting? Maybe I
was
picking
some things up from Jessica, but the last thing I wanted to do was flirt with
someone she was interested in. I glanced at Jessica but she didn’t seem
bothered by our conversation.

Jason
winked at me. “Undoubtedly.” He encompassed Hillary and Jessica in his gaze as
he spoke again. “If you ladies will excuse me, I see my mother frantically
trying to get my attention. She probably wants to introduce me to yet another
one of her friend’s daughters.” He turned back to me and spoke with mock
formality. “It was a pleasure seeing you again, Ms. Sloan.” He grinned again
before turning to leave.

I
was surprised that he remembered my last name. Not remembering my first name
must have been an act. I had a fleeting thought that I wished he was three
years older and lived in Chicago, but I banished the thought as quickly as it
entered my mind.

“Okay,
you can have him,” Jessica said begrudgingly although she was smiling.

“What
are you talking about?” I asked with feigned confusion, although I knew exactly
what she was referring to.

“He
was obviously flirting with you. I don’t want to get in the way of true love.
Or true shagging.”

I
made a sound that was a mix of laughter and horror. “I’m not planning on…
shagging
him.
He’s a little young for me.”

Hillary
smirked. “Jessica doesn’t have your scruples.”

“Geez,
he’s twenty-three years old!” Jessica said exasperatedly. “Why does everyone
act like I’m a cradle-robber?”

“I
assume we’re talking about Jason.” Maya had appeared out of nowhere, sounding
breathless. “Where is he?”

Hillary
gave a rundown of what had just happened, while Jessica and I interrupted with
clarifications and objections to her description. I had never talked so easily
with a group of women or felt so included and accepted, and it was a heady
feeling. I promised myself that I would cultivate more female friendships when
I got back home.

The
conversation drifted to other topics until it was time to be seated for dinner.
It was casual with no seating assignments so we grabbed a table as they started
to fill. A few other people joined our table and soon it was full. Macie and
Brian were sitting at the head table, along with their immediate family
members, and they stood once everyone was seated. The room quieted down as we
waited for them to speak.

“I
just want to thank you all for coming here tonight to celebrate our
engagement.” Brian glanced down at Macie and smiled before continuing. “I’m
sure you’ve all heard the story of how I proposed to Macie. I have to admit
that it didn’t go exactly as planned, but that’s how life is sometimes. All I
know is that there’s no one else I’d want by my side while we face whatever
life has in store for us. Macie is more than a best friend, a partner or the
love of my life. She’s the reason why I wake up in the morning, the reason why
my life has meaning. She’s as essential to me as the air in my lungs and the
blood in my veins. The most incredible thing is that I know she feels the same
way.”

I
could see tears running down Macie’s face and heard sniffles around me. Brian’s
speech was stirring, and I felt a deep ache inside me, unable to suppress the
longing that was sharp and painful. For some reason, I glanced at the entryway
of the dining room and froze when I saw Caden standing there, staring at me.
There was a rushing in my ears as Brian’s voice faded into the background. The
air between Caden and me practically pulsed with tension, and it took
everything in me to tear my gaze away. I was vaguely aware of people clapping
as Brian finished his speech, but I had no idea what he had said after I saw Caden.
Macie started to speak, but her voice sounded far away as I concentrated on not
glancing at the entryway again.

It
was a losing battle, and I couldn’t help looking again, but he was gone. I
forced myself not to crane my neck to see where he had gone, lecturing myself
on my lack of self-control.

I
clapped along with everyone else when Macie finished speaking, although I
hadn’t heard a word she had said. The room filled with sound again as
conversations started up as dinner began to be served. I robotically ate my
first course of bacon and apple, which I’m sure was delicious considering the
exclaims of enjoyment around me, but it tasted like sawdust in my dry mouth. I
put my fork down, my heart thudding against my ribcage, as Caden suddenly
appeared beside me. He leaned down and muttered to the man sitting next to me
who I had been introduced to earlier as a cousin. I didn’t hear what Caden said
to him, but I heard the cousin answer, “Sure, no problem,” and stand up from
his seat.