Feelin' the Vibe (31 page)

When I took the stand, the defense attorney asked me questions about Kenneth’s character. Though I was convinced he’d done
this, I answered honestly. Basically, I let them know he was a good man and a good father, and he believed in the overall
good of people. When I was cross-examined, the attorney made me question everything I thought I knew about Kenneth, even suggesting
that Kenneth preyed on me when I was his patient. He made him out to be this monster who blew his top when he didn’t get his
way. I sat there wondering if I’d been married to a man with multiple personalities. I reflected on our relationship. I was
so vulnerable and needy when we met that I did whatever Kenneth wanted me to do. I thought he was so smart that I could follow
him anywhere. It wasn’t until I started standing up for my rights that I noticed a change. Kenneth hadn’t changed. I had,
and it explained why he would deal with this little girl. He had a need to control his relationship. The prosecutor painted
me to be one of his victims, and I stepped off the stand convinced that she was right.

When Raven took the stand, Kenneth had a nonchalant expression on his face. He looked in a different direction as she spoke.
After she stated her name, she began to cry. She was an open book, and the emotions that she displayed on that stand confirmed
there was something between them. She even shouted out, “He told me he loved me. You told me you loved me.”

She wept loudly as she tried to get Kenneth to look at her. His reluctance to face her confirmed my suspicion. The pain in
her voice shattered me, and I broke down as she went into vivid detail about their relationship. She opened her diary and
read the dates and times they had sex. And, the most hurtful news of all, she claimed that he told her that she was more woman
than his wife, because I couldn’t have kids.

Ms. Teeny wrapped her arm around me and I cried on her shoulder. I had heard enough. I owed him nothing else. There was no
other way Raven could have known this. I didn’t care if he rotted in jail. Still, it was technically his word against her
word. To seal the case, the prosecutor read a few text messages from the transcript. She stated the dates and times. There
is no way Raven could have been sending messages to herself from Kenneth’s phone at the stated times. I felt like I had diarrhea,
because the wording was so familiar, so Kenneth. He was telling her that he loved her and when she was eighteen, he planned
to take care of her. Teeny looked at me and her eyes were watery, but I was just stunned. Finally, we decided it was best
to leave the courtroom. Neither of us could take it anymore.

The jury deliberated for less than an hour before they returned with their verdict. The judge ordered that Kenneth go to jail
while awaiting sentencing. He would not be returning home until it was all over.

We went straight to my house, only to discover that he’d changed all the locks. Teeny called a locksmith and he opened the
house up for me. I went in there and packed up all of his shit. Mia could stay with me as long as she wanted, but I wanted
every other memory of Kenneth out of my house. I wished I would have stayed in Nicaragua and left his ass in jail. Now it
was too late. I’d messed this thing up big-time.

Morgan called Mia and she claimed she didn’t want to see me. She asked Morgan to meet her at the house so that she could get
all of her things. She was driving back to school and she didn’t plan to ever come back to Maryland again. My motherly instinct
kicked in and I called her repeatedly, but she didn’t answer.

*  *  *

Kenneth was sentenced to three years and would likely serve a lot less than that. I went to visit Kenneth one time with divorce
papers in hand. There wasn’t really a whole lot I needed to talk about. When he came out to the visiting room, his head hung
down. I held mine high.

He sat in front of me and thanked me for coming. I said, “Don’t thank me. I’m here to handle business.”

“Clark, I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re sick.”

“I’ve been a therapist for twelve years and I have never dealt with anyone underage.”

“Why Raven?”

He took a deep breath. “Clark, you have to believe me. She was so aggressive, and I guess I was just being weak. We were having
problems and it was just easy. I’m stupid.”

“I’m glad you know that. You’re stupid as shit. I just came here to give you these divorce papers. If you want to contest
it, they’ll bring you to court. But hopefully, you’re not even considering that.”

“No, I’m not. All I want is that you will take care of my Mia.”

I shrugged. “Mia hasn’t answered my calls. She’s angry with me because she thinks I betrayed you.”

I felt sorry for him, but I didn’t know what I could do to help him. It was over. I stood and he apologized again. I walked
out and cried my eyes out. I was on my own again and my marriage was a big joke. I never wanted to do it again. I didn’t know
if anyone was worthy of my trust.

A
s the days before the general election approached, I asked Jennifer to bring Nicole down so she could be a part of the momentous
occasion, win or lose. I wanted my parents, Jennifer, Nicole, and Taylor beside me. It would have been too much to ask for
Clark, but deep down I yearned for her to be there, too. Jennifer and her husband, Aaron, came in on Friday night. My parents
flew in on Thursday night. I hired a chef to prepare meals for the weekend.

My mother had always been a fan of Jennifer’s and if she’d had it her way, we would still be together. They sat at the table
on Friday night, breaking down my mistakes and how I’d always loved Clark for some strange reason. Over the past few months,
I had become a love cynic.

Taylor and Courtney waltzed in around eight. By that time the chef was serving up his appetizers. Taylor gave hugs as she
chomped on the seared scallops. It was her favorite. She beamed and everyone was glad to see her; glad that she was such a
good woman. If she were egotistical, even if she didn’t want me, she could have made me suffer for my indiscretions. I loved
her for that, and so for many days I wondered if she would reconsider being with a politician. But ever since we’d been apart,
she looked like a freed bird. I think Taylor thought she wanted to be married, but she was a single girl at heart. I used
to think it was cute that after we got married, she still called me her boyfriend, but I think that was all Taylor ever wanted.

On Saturday, we held a rally. My complex family gathered. Taylor spoke a little about the man I was and how I shouldn’t be
judged by my mistakes but rather my sacrifices. She moved the crowd. Her speech was tear-jerking and powerful. I watched in
awe. She probably would be a great politician’s wife. Finally, I stepped up to the podium and rambled off my plans and promises.
People cheered. They believed in what I had to offer.

The same chain of events took place the next day at Taylor’s father’s church. I was slightly nervous about speaking there.
Initially, he told Taylor it wasn’t appropriate for him to support an adulterer. That would give his members the wrong message.
She had a way with her father; she was the one of his three daughters who wasn’t scared to stand up to his reign. Before long,
he agreed.

Taylor stood before the congregation and talked a little about herself and how she’d done some things; but that churches should
embrace sinners, not shun them away. “It’s about forgiveness and love. It’s not about who’s right and who’s wrong. Good people
do wrong things, just as bad people do good things. This man”—she smiled at me—“is a good man. The voice of the people, Mr.
Devin Patterson.”

She got a standing ovation and I had to calm the crowd as I stepped up to speak. Her words were fire and she didn’t even know.
She was clearly her father’s daughter. I stood at the podium clapping while watching her take her seat. A fleeting thought
passed:
Maybe if I lost we could start dating again
. Taylor was convinced that I was worth nothing to no one except Clark. I stood up and greeted the congregation. My eyes scanned
the church, trying to connect with them. My words disappeared when I saw Jason in the crowd. I smiled at him and I looked
back at Taylor to see if she’d seen him. She clapped anxiously. I felt empowered and at peace. At least my life had returned
to some state of normalcy. I wasn’t sure what inspired Jason to come through, but that was my boy and I wanted to apologize
for stealing the girl he loved. I was inconsiderate, which was why Taylor and I weren’t together now. His presence damn near
brought a tear to my eye, but as Taylor would say,
I’m too cool for that.

“Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak to you today. You can hear from me and not my opponent who I am. You get
a chance to connect with me and not with the naysayer message. I am a man. Not just any man, one who believes in justice and
prosperity for all mankind, especially my kind.”

The church members nodded and clapped. I looked at my mother, who often felt my blackness was too intense and I should tone
it down some. My purpose on this earth was to change things for my people, and why should I try to disguise that? I was proud,
and I injected pride in the church as people stood on their feet, holding on to my words and my plans. By the time I sat down,
I was sure that I had sealed the election. Bishop Jabowski’s sermon was the icing on the cake.
The Chosen One
. I could go home and rest and enjoy my family.

When the service was over, Bishop Jabowski prayed over me. He prayed that my scars would be healed and I could go on and live
my purpose without all of the demons that possessed me. He spoke as if I was wicked. Damn, I was just unlucky in love. I wasn’t
the devil. Still, I thanked him and walked into the vestibule where they had set up a table for me.

People came up to me to talk and shake my hand. Some even asked for my autograph, and a few of the younger women slipped me
their numbers. Why do chicks love bad boys? Didn’t they see how much trouble I was in for chasing ass? Unfortunately, they
were the furthest things from my mind, so that was a wasted effort. I had to get my life in order, and I didn’t plan to mask
things with another woman. I never believed in piling problems on top of problems. When I looked up and saw Jason, I walked
around the table to shake my man’s hand.

“Whatchu doing here, man?”

He shrugged and with a silly grin said, “I’m still registered to vote in this district.”

“Yo, that’s why you my man.”

“I just wanted to say the way I carried things was real busted.”

“Naw, dawg. That was me. I should have left her completely alone when you asked me to, but like you said, I’m selfish.” I
laughed. “I
was
selfish.”

He smirked. “Whatever, yo.”

“For real, man.” Suddenly, it dawned on me that he probably didn’t know. “Man, you know Taylor and I aren’t together anymore.
She just has my back through this. You know.”

“Yeah, I heard all about you and Clark.” My chin drooped as I nodded. “What’s up with that?” he said anxiously.

“Back with her husband.”

“Whoa. Yeah, sometimes it’s like that. You ain’t always going to be with the one you love.”

Just as he said that, Taylor cut the corner. In seemingly slow motion, she said, “Hey, Scooter.”

Scooter was her childish nickname for Jason. He leaned in for a very distant hug. “Hey, Taylor. How’s everything?”

It was as if she negated the positive energy flow. I wondered if he was still a little bitter about everything. It seemed
like he should be over the situation, but then it hit me: I still wasn’t over my girl, why should he be over his? Taylor obviously
sensed the tension she’d caused and kept on moving.

Jason and I started recapping. He and Akua got married. She was expecting their first child. They were still at Yale. He was
now an attending physician and Akua was still completing her surgery residency. They moved to a big home right outside of
New Haven. I was proud of Jason. He’d made it work with his runner-up and I was still running after the winner. Something
had to give. My eyes shifted to find my runner-up, and at that moment I couldn’t fathom making it work, because she’d always
be Jason’s winner. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep if one of my boys was married to Clark. There were multiple reasons
why Taylor and I were irreversibly done. Things we should have taken into account before we walked down the aisle were completely
overlooked.

Jennifer and Nicole burst through the crowd. Nicole’s piercing voice yelled, “Uncle Jason!” as she bolted toward him.

He hugged her and stroked her hair. “Hey, Nikki, what are you up to?”

“Everything,” she said, rolling her eyes.

We all laughed. Jennifer reached out for a hug. Looking at me, Jason joked, “See, man, I told you that you wasn’t happy unless
you had it all.”

Jennifer said, “That’s my baby daddy.”

We looked at Jennifer and laughed. Jason talked to Nicole and Jennifer for a minute before my parents came over to speak.
Jason became the guest of honor. No one had seen him since he was a no-show at the wedding. They didn’t know the whole story,
and I never planned to tell them. Before Jason left, I told him to answer the phone when I called. He laughed. “Yeah, man,
I will.”