Feels Like Home: A Southerland Family Contemporary Romance Book 1 (16 page)

“
I know it was hard on
Gran. She loved us and wanted better for us.”

“
Marion was a force to be
reckoned with.” Jude gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “It must
have been difficult for her not to be able to do
anything.”

She nodded, not sure if he could even see her
in the dimming light. “When Momma died Gran took us in and
everything changed. I had clean clothes folded in drawers and
supper on the table every night. It didn’t matter at first because
Matty was gone.”

Her voice caught and Jude lifted her hand to
his lips, brushing a kiss over her knuckles. His touch was simple
and undemanding, something for her comfort. She felt some of his
strength flow through her fingers and knew she could tell him the
rest.

“
But after a while, I felt
guilty because I liked living with Gran so much. Summer and I both
did.”

“
Of course you did. It had
to feel good to have someone else take care of things. To take care
of you.”

His voice held such fierce loyalty. Her
stomach tightened, wondering what it would be like to have him take
care of her. He was so dependable and steady. There wouldn’t be a
responsibility he’d take on that he wouldn’t honor.

She didn’t want to be anyone’s obligation.
She’d worked hard to prove that she could take care of herself and
everyone around her. But, God, it might be nice to lean on someone
– on him – for just a little while.

“
Colin and Lindsey hated
it,” she said, remembering the way Lindsey would scream at Gran,
slamming the door on her way out. “They were used to doing what
they wanted. They didn’t want to follow Gran’s rules. Lindsey got
out and Colin got in trouble. He was never around much and Gran
worried all the time.”

She remembered coming downstairs at night and
finding her gran, sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for Colin
or Lindsey to come home. She’d vowed to herself never to put that
tired worried look on her gran’s face. She would be the one no one
ever had to worry about.

“
I tried to do exactly what
was expected of me. I got good grades, didn’t get in trouble at
school, and when I graduated, I went off to college to make
something of myself.” She turned and watched his profile. It was so
important he understood her. She gave his hand a squeeze and waited
for him to look at her. “Everyone else disappointed her. Her
daughter, her family. I wanted to make her proud.” She tugged on
Jude’s hand, willing him to understand. “I needed to make something
of myself so she would be proud of me.”

He reached for her, cupping her face and
letting his hand slide into her hair. “She was proud of you,” he
said, looking into her eyes. “She talked about you at every visit.
She never stopped being proud of you.”

The tears which had been threatening spilled
from her eyes, making hot tracks down her cheeks. “But don’t you
see? That’s why I couldn’t come home. I wanted to so much.” She
stifled the sob that caught in her throat. “I couldn’t lie to her
and I couldn’t let her see how bad things had gotten.”

He pulled her across the glider and onto his
lap. She felt the steady beat of his heart against her cheek.
Wrapped in the warmth and strength of his arms, she let herself cry
for lost chances, missing time, and for Gran.

Jude couldn’t imagine what Autumn had been
through. When she talked about Summer and Matty, he pictured Taylor
and what it would have been like to try to take care of his baby
sister by himself. His urge to protect Autumn and take away
anything that hurt her was primal. But he couldn’t fight the
past.

He held her warm, curvy body while she cried
and made himself a million promises to protect her from any other
pain that came her way. He stroked her back, willing her hurt and
grief away. Eventually her crying slowed and she rested comfortably
in his arms, her head against his chest. It had slipped from early
evening to full twilight and the porch lights started to go on up
and down the street. When she moved to get off his lap, he held her
fast.

“
Stay just a little longer.
I like holding you.”

She snuggled in closer, and he started to
rethink the wisdom of having her move around on his lap.

“
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean
to cry on you.” Her voice sounded small in the dark under the porch
and he held her tighter.

“
Don’t be sorry. I wanted
to know. Thank you for telling me.” He felt her nod against his
chest. Tucking her head under his chin, he looked out to the
sidewalk and the figure watching them.

“
Good evening Mrs. Adair.
How are you?”

Autumn stiffened on his lap and the figure on
the sidewalk leaned forward to peer at the porch.

“
Doctor Southerland? Is
that you?”

“
Yes ma’am. You’re out
awfully late tonight.”

“
I’m doing that Weight
Watchers thing,” she said in a stage whisper. “And I didn’t get in
my walk earlier. What are you doing on that porch? Who’s that with
you?”

Jude saw her squinting in the street light
and grinned.

“
I’m seeing Autumn Maddox.”
He heard Autumn groan. “We’ve been enjoying the evening on her
porch.”

“
Really? Well isn’t that
interesting. I better be on my way.” She turned without waiting for
a response and power walked down the sidewalk.

“
You know she’s going to be
on the phone as soon as she gets home, burning her way through the
Ladies Auxiliary phone chain. By morning everyone will know I was
sitting on your lap on my front porch.” She let her head thump
against his chest but didn’t move to get up.

“
Don’t care.” He snuggled
her tighter, enjoying the feel of her warm curves fitted against
him. “You’re the one who was trying to hide us.” Us. He liked the
way that sounded. He kissed the top of her head, breathing in the
spicy floral scent of her shampoo. “I wanted to take you out in
front of the whole town. You’re the one who insisted we eat here.
We’re done with that by the way.”

She pulled back to look at him. “I like our
evenings on the porch.”

“
I do, too, but tomorrow
night I’m taking you on a proper date.” She stiffened in his arms,
but he kept going. “And Saturday I want you to come to the lake
with my family to celebrate Bailey’s birthday.”

Before she could protest he cupped her face
with his palm and brushed his thumb over her lips. She trembled in
his arms, just the slightest tremor, and his body shot to
attention.

“
I’m not going to take no
for an answer,” he said.

He felt more than saw her nod. Tightening his
grip on her, he bent and claimed her mouth in a tender almost
chaste kiss that touched him more than a hundred other kisses had.
He could feel the wet tracks of her tears on her cheeks and shifted
so he could kiss them away, working his way up to place butterfly
soft kisses on her eyelids.

When he reclaimed her mouth heat and desire
bloomed between them, and he knew she could taste the salt of her
own tears on his lips. Fierce protective need unfurled in his
stomach. He would do anything it took to burn her tears away and
make it his night’s work – his life’s work – to replace them with
pleasure.

Her tongue met his, tangling, tasting, and
teasing, and as she opened for him, melting against him, the
tenuous hold he had on himself threatened to dissolve. His hands
stroked her back, running from the perfect curve of her hip up to
play with the zipper on the back of her dress. He started to tug
and caught himself.

“
Inside,” he said, his
voice raw and urgent. “Now. I can’t wait any longer.”

All the passion that had been building since
their day on the Peaks threatened to strip his control and he knew
he needed to get her behind closed doors before he did something to
embarrass them both. He didn’t care if the whole damn town knew he
and Autumn were together but she deserved more than to be felt up
on her front porch.

He urged her off his lap and to the door,
never taking his hands off of her.

She’d told him everything and he was still
there, holding her, touching her. Even when Mrs. Adair showed up,
he hadn’t hesitated. He’d claimed her. And he wanted her to spend
time with his family.

Suddenly, wrapped in the warmth and safety of
his arms, she couldn’t remember why things weren’t supposed to work
between them.

He guided her into the house, his hand a
warm, solid weight on the small of her back. As soon as the door
closed behind them he pulled her into his arms and kissed her,
stealing her breath and melting any resistance she had left. He
teased her lips apart with his tongue and she met him in a sliding,
tangling dance.

His warm fingers worked their way through her
hair, anchoring her head in place, giving him complete access to
her mouth. Her head started to spin, swamped with the scent and
taste and feel of him. She felt her knees sag and worried she’d
fall but he held her in place with his strong hands and an even
stronger will.

Plundering her lips, he took everything she
offered him until she was gasping for breath. He pulled back to
look at her with eyes gone dark with desire and she met his gaze,
dazed but eager.

“
I want to make love to
you.” He searched her face, pinning her with the intensity of his
gaze. “Will you let me?”

The question held so much more than the
promise of a one night stand. He was asking her to let him love her
and for her to love him back. The weight of her response stopped
her for a moment and then she nodded, unable to speak.

His face split in an enormous grin. Before
she caught her breath he was on her again, nipping and teasing the
tender skin of her neck.

“
Where?” he asked, his lips
pressed hot and demanding against her throat.

“
Upstairs. Bedroom,” she
said between gasps.

Grabbing his hand, she tugged him toward the
steps. He followed willingly, so close behind her she could feel
the heat of him along her back. She led him past the room they had
painted with Summer to the open door to her room. On the chance
that they’d end up here, she’d tidied up and made the bed.

The soft glow of the lamp on the dresser lit
the jade walls, turning the room into a celadon box. She pulled her
hand from his and went to the window to close the lace curtains.
When she turned to face him the naked desire in his eyes stopped
her steps for a moment.

“
My God, you’re beautiful.”
Taking two strides to meet her, he touched her hair and slid a
finger almost reverently across her cheek. “Like something out of
time.” He traced her neck and the edge of her dress with the back
of his hand.

Everywhere his hand touched her skin bloomed
to life, tremors of pleasure following the warmth of his fingers.
When he cupped her face and drew her to him for a kiss, she melted
against him. His hands slid from her cheeks to her hair and then
down her back, pulling her even closer. She felt the hard length of
him through the thin polished cotton of her skirt and instinctively
fitted herself to him.

When he felt her press against him he groaned
and the kiss took on a hungry, more desperate edge. Head tipped
back, lips parted she gave herself over the fire building between
them. The fire he stoked with his hands and lips and tongue.

He reached for her zipper again and this time
he didn’t stop himself. He tugged and she felt cool air hit her
back as the fabric peeled away. His hand reached her waist and he
pulled back so he could look into her eyes.

She gave a little shimmy and watched his
hazel eyes dilate to dark brown as the bodice of the dress fell to
her waist exposing her. The cherry red bra had been a good luck
charm. Something only she knew about which made her feel confident
and sexy. From the look in his eyes, it worked for him, too.

She reached behind her with both hands to
finish unzipping her skirt. The position pushed her breasts forward
in their lace demi-cups. Jude reached for her, catching her hands
before she could finish with the zipper.

“
Like this.” He held her
wrists in his hand. “Stay just like this.”

The command in his voice sent heat racing
across her skin and then his mouth found her exposed throat and the
heat flamed higher. Holding her in place, he worked his way down
her neck to the sensitive skin of her collar bones, pausing to
linger in the hollow at the base of her throat. She let her head
fall back to give him better access and felt the delicious arch in
her back and the press of her breasts against him.

Still holding her wrists in one hand, he
skimmed her side with the other, leaving a trail of pebbled flesh
in the wake of his touch. His kisses moved lower and his hand slid
up until he was cupping her breast while he kissed the creamy skin
above her bra, his tongue tracing a line along the lace.

His touch was teasing and light and
everywhere but where she needed him most. She arched harder,
pushing herself against his hand and mouth. Willing him to move
closer to the taut peak. His thumb brushed her nipple and she made
a small needy noise. When his tongue slid beneath the lace and
found the puckered flesh, she cried out for him.

His tortured groan rumbled across her skin as
he rested his forehead against her chest for a moment. She felt his
ragged breathing and knew he wanted her as much as she wanted
him.

“
Please,” she practically
whimpered.

“
Not yet, darling,” he said
on a shaky breath.