Felicia (23 page)

Felicia sat down thoughtfully. The temptation to stay was enormous, for she would certainly see Lord Umber. But as she doubted the suitability of that idea, she decided regretfully that it would be best to make a clean and swift break. “I…I…think, I would prefer to…I mean…maybe it would be best for me to send word to grandfather to expect me this afternoon. It is not that I don’t want to stay here, Lady Louisa…”

“Say no more, Felicia. I do understand. And it is not as though you are moving to the other end of England. I shall make it my business to see as much of you as possible. I am sure Lord Davenport will not object.”

“Thank you,” Felicia said gratefully. “I know it is silly to feel apprehensive, for David assures me that he is quite a mellow person now and is most anxious for me to live with him.”

“I shall order the carriage for you at three then. That should give you plenty of time to ready yourself. I will ask Lucy to supervise the packing of your trunks.”

“And that will give you plenty of time to tally up how much I must owe you for all the lovely gowns you have bought me,” Felicia teased. “I suspect that once I tell grandfather about them he will insist on paying you back every farthing.”

“Away with you, you nonsensical child, I would not dream of appearing to be a penny-pinching person. And, if you don’t mention it, he will never think to ask. Men are all the same.”

Except your son
,
Felicia thought as she returned to her room. She dressed quickly in front of the fire, determinedly pushing away thoughts of Lord Umber. Instead, she started to make a mental list of those she should bid farewell. Her toilette complete, she hurried downstairs to start this task.

The first person she encountered was Sims and, having thanked him prettily for the many kindnesses he had shown her, she turned to go downstairs to the kitchen. As she did so, the sound of Lord Umber’s voice reached her. She stood still, unable to stop the sudden tremble in her knees, and watched him descend into the hallway. He looked tired and irritable, and she wondered if he had had a late night. She had been secretly disappointed by his absence last night when David had restored her to Lady Louisa, for she had taken it as an indication that he had not been worried over her disappearance. So, feigning a casualness she did not feel, she stepped forward to greet him.

“Ah! Lord Umber. The very person I was looking for. I want to bid you farewell, for as you may know I go to my grandfather’s today.”

Lord Umber stared down at her, unable to believe that she was actually standing in front of him with an attitude of total unconcern and looking none the worse for her adventure. All night he had been haunted by dreams of the terrible things that could have happened to her had David not rescued her. Something in him snapped and all the pent-up frustration of the last twenty-four hours burst out of him like water gushing from a burst dam.

Ignoring her outstretched hand he said in clipped, angry tones, “Do you realize the anxiety Mama suffered? Have you any conception of the havoc you wrought here yesterday by your thoughtlessness?”

“But…but you don’t understand,” Felicia started to say.

“No, I don’t,
Lady
Felicia,” Lord Umber interrupted. “All I can hope is that your grandfather will drum some sense into you. And may the first lesson he teaches you be that you never,
never
walk abroad alone. Of all the empty-headed actions I have ever heard of…why…why that has to rank as one of the more inane. Whatever were you doing in Blackfriars would be a question I would ask you if I were your grandfather.” He bowed perfunctorily. “As you say, Lady Felicia, good-bye.” He turned and stalked out of the front door, unaware of the gaping countenance of the footman who had witnessed his outburst.

Hurt and bewildered by his attitude, Felicia ran upstairs and sought the sanctuary of her own room. Dismissing a chambermaid who was putting the final pieces of tissue paper in her trunk, she threw herself on the bed and gave way to the tears Lord Umber’s words had induced. Finally, exhausted, she rose and studied her face in the mirror. Fortunately, apart from the reddened eyes, there was no other visible sign of how she spent the last ten minutes. Moving over to the washstand, she quickly splashed some cold water into the basin and dabbed her eyes carefully.

She felt a strange calm, almost a relief. In many ways it would be easier to leave Lady Louisa’s now, knowing that Lord Umber thought so little of her. If she tried hard, maybe she could put her feelings for him to one side and possibly, one day, she would find that she neither ached to be near him, nor remembered the way one side of his mouth always crinkled when he smiled at one of her sallies. It was foolish to be so dramatic as to suppose one’s heart broke, hers was merely cracked. She would come about, she had no choice.

She took her leave of Lady Louisa quickly, neither of them wanting to prolong the unhappy moment. Dr. Ross, who had visited them earlier that morning, had left some medicine for Lady Louisa in case she needed something to steady her nerves. He had also spent a long time with Felicia, drawing out of her every single detail of her ordeal. It had not been pleasant for her, but as he had said, it was far better to talk about something that unpleasant than to try and blank it from the mind.

She smiled appreciatively to herself at his philosophy. He was an eccentric young doctor, but, at least for her, effective.

*

“I have been here four days, Rufus, four whole days, and I feel as though I am in another world,” Felicia whispered forlornly to the Irish wolfhound at her feet. The steady thumping of his tail on the soil indicated the intense pleasure he was experiencing as she stroked his neck. She stopped fondling him for a moment, but resumed when he whined and rested his head appealingly in her lap. “One more time, Rufus, and then I must go inside for Lady Louisa will be here shortly.”

She was sitting in the small garden at the back of her grandfather’s impressive house in Eaton Square. The warm, morning sunlight filtered through the trees, casting prancing shadows on the new grass. It was an idyllic spot for daydreaming, yet Felicia’s sad expression was a sharp contrast to the brightness of the day.

Her grandfather was a dear old man, and she found it difficult to believe that he had been capable of turning his youngest son out for marrying beneath him. She had not thought that she would like him for that very reason, but she had been wrong.

He was anxious to insure she enjoyed herself, but as yet had been unable to adjust his lifestyle to incorporate one as young as she. He had been a widower too long to be entirely at ease in a woman’s company, preferring to spend his leisure hours with his cronies at one of his clubs.

Felicia understood this, but after the activity of Lady Louisa’s household, she still felt lost and lonely. Her main companion was Rufus who had adopted her the moment she had arrived. Even her grandfather had been amazed by the dog’s attitude. In four days the dog had become her devoted slave and closest confidant.

There had been no word from Lord Umber, and she had not really expected any. She had refrained from asking David for news when he had visited her, and he had not offered any. In fact, the reason for his visit had been to dissipate any fears she might still harbor about her aunt. He had come to report the outcome of his interview with her.

“She has already left for Graystones and will not return to London ever again.”

“However did you persuade her to go?” Felicia asked. “She was quite adamant about spending the Season here, and even more determined to see Wendy safely settled.”

“She succeeded in the latter. I believe an elderly gentleman took a fancy to your cousin, and the wedding is set for July. Someone by the name of Brown.”

“A Mr. Brown?” Felicia queried. “Whoever is that? He does not sound as though his consequence is very large.”

David laughed. “No, but in the circumstances I am certain that Lady Ormstead was happy enough to accept his offer, as I do not think that her daughter will receive another.”

“And…and you are quite sure that I will never have to see her again?”

“Absolutely,” David assured her. “You see, my law firm controls her late husband’s estate. It’s a small account and one that I have never bothered with before; Adams has always approved every expense in the past. As of today, however, I have put myself in charge, and she will have to seek my approval for any monies she may find herself in need of.”

Felicia clapped her hands in delight. “So you would know immediately if she asks for a large sum of money, or if she planned to come to London?”

“Exactly. I think you can safely assume, Lady Felicia, that unless you want to visit her at Graystones, you need never see her again. And Wendy’s marriage to Mr. Brown will insure that she never mingles in the society that you will be in….”

“I am tempted to feel sorry for her, David, for it sounds as though she will lead a very dull life. Not a bit as she imagined it would be—full of parties and fun.”

“Life seldom works out as we hope,” David replied, “but sooner or later we seem to adjust to what we have.”

“You are right, of course,” Felicia said quickly. “And I suppose I am the best example.”

He had taken his leave shortly after, and Felicia had spent a miserable hour wondering if David’s last remark had been a veiled hint about Lord Umber.

She felt Rufus stiffen and looked up quickly to see who was approaching. It was Lady Louisa. Commanding Rufus to be still, she rose from her seat and warmly embraced her former employer.

Lady Louisa looked at Felicia sharply. There were dark rings under her eyes, and her cheeks had lost their rosy glow. “What ails you, child?” she chided gently. “You do not seem up to par.”

“I am well enough,” Felicia replied ruefully. “Although I do miss living at Berkeley Square. Grandfather tries to make me feel at home, but this really is such a masculine house.”

“You must visit me often then, Felicia,” Lady Louisa replied gently. “And see if you cannot persuade Lord Davenport to let you redecorate some of the rooms here. That should help a lot.”

Felicia nodded. “He has already suggested that, but somehow, it seems unfair to alter an atmosphere he is quite content with. No. I am sure I shall become used to it.” She turned away, wondering if she dare ask after Lord Umber. She coughed lightly. “And…and, Lord Umber. How is he?”

Lady Louisa sank onto a bench and patted the space beside her. “Come, sit down.”

Felicia obeyed, nervously twisting a leaf in her fingers, aware that Lady Louisa was studying her face.

“I don’t know, Felicia,” she answered finally. “I really don’t know what has gotten into him. He appears well enough, but he has changed.”

“Changed, ma’am? In what way?”

“His temper for one thing. It always is at the boil. And…and he has started to drink so heavily. I hate to say this about my son, but it’s as though he has stopped caring.”

Saddened by this information, Felicia made a consoling sound before saying timidly, “Perhaps he has been gambling too heavily…losing too much money. I…I know that papa would become morose and difficult when that happened.”

“I don’t think so, at least no more than usual, otherwise word would have reached me. I must confess I am at a loss to know what to think.”

“It…it is presumptuous of me to suggest it, but mayhap Lady Barbara turned him down.” Even as she spoke, it seemed as though someone were twisting a knife in her heart, the pain her words caused was so intense.

“No. Not Lady Barbara, but it is a possibility that he is suffering because he has hurt someone he really cares for.”

“Oh!” Felicia said faintly. “I am sorry. Maybe his condition will improve when he gets over his embarrassment. Mama always said that men recover from affairs of the heart far more quickly than we women.” She looked away so that Lady Louisa would not see the anguished look she knew was in her eyes.

Lady Louisa looked grave. “I think this is more serious than that, for you see he lost his temper quite unnecessarily with this particular lady and now seems incapable of knowing how to apologize. It’s all so silly, isn’t it?”

Felicia felt herself blushing and nodded mutely in answer to the question.

“He also confessed to me, Felicia, that he treated you abominably. Would you agree to see him now, so that he can make amends?” She saw Felicia’s look of hesitation and quickly pressed on. “He is waiting inside for my signal. If I do not give it, then he will leave…but….”

Any doubts Lady Louisa had about Felicia’s feelings toward her son were quickly swept away by the rapturous look that spread across Felicia’s face at her words. She rose hastily and waving her handkerchief to Lord Umber, hurried past him into the house, well satisfied with the part she had played that morning.

Felicia kept her gaze down to the grass, too nervous to look up. She reached out wildly to hold Rufus, who had started to growl again and murmured something to him. It was enough to reassure him that a friend approached, for he sank back on his haunches and started to wag his tail. Felicia felt someone sit down beside her and her heart started to thump wildly.

“I am sorry for my untimely show of temper, Felicia,” the contrite voice said. “And I thank you for being so gracious as to receive me this morning.” His hand closed over her fingers as he lifted them to his lips. He kissed each one gently, sending thrill after thrill coursing through her. “Am I forgiven?” he asked huskily.