Fertility: A Novel (30 page)

“Good morning, Mom. How is she?”

“That’s why I called.”

Sarah’s heart sank. “What happened?”

“What happened? What happened was that you gave birth to one peach of a baby. Anna woke up only once for a bottle at 3:30. I changed her and put her back in her crib and she slept until just fifteen minutes ago. Can you believe it? A newborn and already waking up only once in the night!” Eva was ecstatic.

“Wow. I figured she’d go for at least two or three feedings, just as she did here in the hospital,” Sarah said.

“I’m telling you. She’s a real doll, Sarah. We are so blessed.”

“I know, Mom. She’s the only good thing….” She stopped before she started bawling.

“She’s a wonderful baby — and we’ll be bringing your daughter to you after we have a bite and get her dressed. I was thinking maybe we could use the stroller today. It’s going to be relatively mild. What do you think?” Eva asked, careful to defer to Sarah.

She steeled herself at the thought of Anna’s first trip in the stroller without her. “Sure,” Sarah answered as casually as she could, “but you’ve got to use the car seat and the adaptor since she can’t sit upright yet. Can Dad get the stroller and the car seat down the stairs okay?”

“Let me ask him. He’s holding Anna.” Sarah could only hear muffled sounds as her mother put her hand over the receiver. “Yes, darling. He says to remind you that he was the one who
schlepped
the stroller up the stairs after we bought it.”

“Oh, of course. Please relay my apology for doubting his strength and agility. Mom, I bought a lock for the stroller — it’s on the table near the door — and when you get home tonight you can lock it to the railing that leads to the basement. I asked the super a few weeks ago and he said it would be fine.”

The therapist motioned that she and her assistant would come back later so Sarah could finish her conversation. She wanted to tell them that she was almost done, but they were gone before she had a chance. Then she remembered the return of her appetite. “Mom, would you mind very much bringing me some really good coffee and something for breakfast? To tell you the truth, I think I’m hungry.”

That was music to Eva’s ears. “You’re hungry? Oh, that’s wonderful! Would you like me to bring you an omelet? Or I can bring something else. You have a fully stocked fridge. Is there something you have a hankering for?”

“Mom, I trust your judgment. I’m sure anything you bring will be great.”

“I promise to come up with something really good. We’ll be there in an hour or so.”

“I can’t wait to see Anna in the stroller,” Sarah said, trying to picture her tiny baby being wheeled through the streets of New York.

“I know. Me, too. So many firsts. It’s an exciting time.”

They said their good-byes. As Sarah hung up the receiver, all she could think of was the many firsts Anna was having without her.

* * *

The therapist and her aide didn’t come back right away. Sarah regretted not getting off the phone more quickly. Given her luck, she’d likely go to the bottom of the list and get only one session for the day. There was nothing she could do now but wait. As she waited, her thoughts turned to Rick.

If there had ever been a poster child for letting the good times roll, it was him. That he’d taken their breakup hard was surprising, pleasantly so. She thought of his fingertips on hers and the sensation of his kiss. They had good chemistry, there was no doubt about that. But she wondered if there had ever been more than good chemistry. She tried to remember what they did when they were together. Sex, food, verbal sparring, sleep, exercise and an occasional drink. Were those the building blocks of a lasting relationship?

And then she thought of Anna. Defying two expert opinions, Rick had made her pregnant. She remembered how her father had exploded when she told him she’d given the baby’s father permission to walk away. But now Rick had come back, saying he was ready to do whatever it took to be with her. How could a man make such a one-eighty? It was hard for her to believe the consummate player had fallen in love with her. Then a thought crossed her mind: Maybe it was Anna that had provoked his visit. A living, breathing child of one’s flesh was a far cry from the abstraction of an embryo. Maybe all Rick wanted was a way to get access to his daughter.

* * *

Joseph and Eva wheeled Anna into the hospital room in her deluxe jogging stroller around ten, a couple of hours after Sarah had hung up the phone. The therapist and her aide had not returned in the intervening time and Sarah was ready to climb the walls.

“I was getting worried. You said an hour, Mom. It’s been nearly two.”

“Sorry, sweetheart. Just as we were about to walk out the door, Anna experienced what I can only call a blast. I’d forgotten what happens when a newborn moves her bowels. We had to take her out of the car seat, strip off all her clothes, clean her up and choose a new outfit. I had to wash her bunting and throw it in the dryer. That’s what took so much time. I should have called to let you know, dear. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I had no idea. Thank you for taking such good care of her. What would I do without you?” And, defying her best efforts, the tears began to well up again.

Sarah’s father tried to lift her mood. “Don’t mention it,” Joseph said. “Anna was cute even when she was full of it, don’t mind the joke.” Eva threw him a look. “What?” Joseph asked, looking at his wife. “She
was
cute. And very cooperative as you wiped you know what from every crevice. She was very helpful. She lifted her little legs in the air and let Mom get to all the important places.”

“Dad, thanks. Really, I appreciate everything you’re doing for us. You’ll never know how much.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for. It’s my pleasure. I’ll get a lot of mileage out of this when Anna’s older. This is a story she’ll rather I forget when she’s…let’s say, thirteen or fourteen,” Joseph said, chuckling to himself.

“No doubt,” Sarah said, unable to imagine her tiny baby as a self-conscious teenager. “Could you hand her to me, Dad? I’ve missed her something awful.”

“Of course. And she’s been missing you. I can tell,” Joseph said as he carried his bundled granddaughter out of her car seat and into her mother’s waiting arms. “Here you go. Madonna and child. Eva, where’s the camera?”

“Joe, you packed it — I think it’s in the diaper bag.”

As Joseph searched for the camera and Eva unpacked her stores for the long day in the hospital, Sarah fell in love with her daughter all over again. She laid the baby on her thighs while she untied the hood and pulled Anna’s arms out of the sleeves of her baby sack. “So you were a big poop machine this morning, eh? Made a bunch of work for Grandpa and Grandma, did you?” Sarah asked in a gentle, lilting voice. Anna looked directly at her mother’s face as though they were engaged in a conversation of the greatest import.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Eva said. “I brought you a cheddar-and-veggie omelet and Dad just got an extra-large Ethiopian coffee from the shop down the street.” Sarah’s hunger had left her now that she was with her baby. Without taking her eyes off of Anna she said, “Oh, thanks. That’s so nice of you.”

“I’ll go and heat the omelet. While I’m at it I’ll give the coffee a little warm-up in the microwave, too. I’ll be right back.” As Eva left, Joseph captured a series of shots of the spellbound mother and baby. The therapist and her aide appeared just as Eva returned to the room with Sarah’s belated breakfast.

“Oh, can we see your baby?” the aide asked.

“Of course. But I have to warn you that you’d better say she’s beautiful because, to my mind, there’s never been so beautiful a baby to grace the world.”

The women needed no prompting. “Oh my God. She really is,” the aide said. “Look at those big, blue eyes and all that blond hair. She’s darling.”

“I know. I can’t believe how lucky I am,” Sarah said, beaming.

“You are — and save that thought, because you may not feel so lucky after we’re done with you. We’re not called ‘the toughies’ for nothing. No chickens allowed in our therapy sessions,” the therapist warned Sarah.

“Oh, you can’t scare me off. I’m game.”

“Glad to hear it. You’re going to need that motivation,” the therapist said, smiling as if to dare Sarah.

“I’m used to pushing myself. I want to try using the crutches. Dad, could you take Anna while I work with the therapists?”

“I’ll just save your breakfast, honey,” Eva said, trying to stay out of the way.

“Could I have just one sip of coffee before we begin? I haven’t had coffee in seven months and just a sip would be great.”

“The caffeine won’t hurt, either,” the therapist laughed, “’cause you’re going to need all your energy to keep up with us.”

The coffee tasted like ambrosia. Sarah closed her eyes and savored the rich flavor on her tongue. “Oh, that’s wonderful. Thank you. Now I’m ready.” Sarah hadn’t felt so upbeat since the accident.

The aide had brought both crutches and a walker as per the doctor’s orders. The therapist released Sarah’s injured leg from its tether and helped her swivel her body so she could dangle her legs off the bed. Her pain was ever present, but with both women helping, she stood up and grabbed hold of the crutches. She listened carefully to their directions and then moved the crutches forward. As she tried to move her body toward the crutches, she cried out, “Oh my God, I can’t do it! It feels like my insides are falling out. I have to sit down.”

The therapist and her aide eased Sarah back onto the bed. “Okay, take some deep breaths. This is common after abdominal surgery, Sarah. We can ask the doctor to order a Velcro-closure girdle and that will help you when you stand up,” the therapist said. “But even with that, until your incision heals up a bit, the walker might be just the ticket.”

“What happened to me? I can’t even take a single step,” she cried. “I was walking miles every day until — what — five days ago? I was swimming three times a week, lifting weights. I’ve become a wreck.”

“Think of it as a short-term infirmity; short-term, that is, if you work your butt off. We’re going to get you moving again no matter how hard it seems,” the therapist said, not the least bit concerned by her patient’s self-assessment. “Come on, Sarah; let’s give the walker a try.”

Eva and Joseph could hardly stand to watch their daughter struggle as she tried to use the walker. She persevered as the therapist prodded her before every step — really more of a hop — with her healthy leg. Every time she made the little jump forward, she was certain her guts would end up on the floor. All the while, she had to keep her injured leg from touching the ground, something made harder by the metal fixator. The therapist kept encouraging Sarah to aim for the doorway of her room. When she reached the goal she was rewarded with a couple of minutes of rest in a wheelchair before getting up and making the return trip to the armchair next to her bed. By the time the session was over, sweat poured down Sarah’s face, back and chest.

* * *

As worn out as she was by her first outing, Sarah felt good knowing she’d pushed herself to her limit. Before Sarah settled down to breakfast, her mother pulled a lovely winter nightshirt out of Anna’s diaper bag. Joseph left the room so Sarah could change out of her drenched hospital gown. The soft jersey felt good on her skin as she enjoyed the omelet and coffee her parents had brought.

Joseph was gone for quite a while. Just as they were beginning to wonder where he could be, he returned, lost in thought and gesticulating to himself. Eva guessed the cause of her husband’s distraction: He’d been away from his lab for days and the thought of all he had to do was making him crazy. When she suggested he return to work the following day — and Sarah seconded the motion — Joseph’s relief was palpable. A plan was hatched. The next morning he’d drop Eva and the baby off at the hospital and then take the train back to Tuckahoe. Bob would meet him at the station and drive him home so he could pick up his car and some fresh clothes for Eva and himself. Then he’d get to spend the rest of the day where he was happiest — at his lab — before returning to the hospital in time for a late dinner.

Once details of the plan were finalized, the rest of the afternoon dragged on. At one o’clock the orthopedic resident, Dr. Prabhu, did what she hoped might be the final irrigation and debridement of Sarah’s wounds. Bubbe Rivka phoned at half-past two, complaining that no one had brought her to the hospital to see her first great-grandchild. At three, Sarah’s taskmasters returned for another grueling session, this time taking Sarah to the bathroom and teaching her to get on and off the toilet.

At half past four, Jeff and his entourage returned. There were smiles all around at the news that Sarah had done so well during her therapy sessions. No mention was made of the debacle with the crutches. Jeff said they would remove the IV and the urinary catheter the following morning, right before suturing her wounds. Sarah asked about the girdle the therapist had suggested and he readily agreed.

By the time five o’clock rolled around, the Abadhi family was spent. Even the angelic Anna was a bit fussy, and only her mother’s singing and swaying from side to side soothed her. Joseph picked up some pizza and salad and brought them to Sarah’s room. Anna downed four ounces of formula as Sarah learned to eat some dinner while feeding her baby a bottle. After Joseph polished off the last slice of pizza, Sarah dressed Anna in her winter sack, telling her to be a good girl for her grandparents. “No more blasts,” she ordered. Then she kissed her daughter and watched as Eva and Joseph strapped her into the car seat. As they rolled Anna out the door, the exhausted Sarah felt ashamed that she was actually relieved when they left.

* * *

Sarah had just closed her eyes when she heard a knock at her door. “Is this a good time for some company?” She would know that voice anywhere. It was Harry.

“Oh, of course. Come in. Any time is a good time for you.”

Harry was encouraged by the improvement in his protégée. Though her face was still bruised — around one eye in particular — and the cuts to her forehead remained, she looked much more like herself than she had just a few days earlier.