Fertility: A Novel (31 page)

“I was on my way home and I told Toby I would just drop by for a few minutes. I don’t want to tire you out.”

“Oh, no, I’m so glad to see you. How are things at the office? Are the junior associates keeping things under control?”

“Two of them together are no match for you,” Harry said honestly, acutely aware of how pleased this would make her.

“You know, I just remembered that I told them to call me if they had any questions. Pretty funny, huh? I have no idea where my phone is — or anything else that was with me that day.”

“Forget it, Sarah. They can ask me if they have any questions. It’s about time I did some real work around the office. It’s amazing I get paid what I do,” Harry said, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

“Hey, you had your chance to work like a dog doing the grunt work we associates slave over,” Sarah smiled. “Plus, you bring in the big accounts. With your book of business, you’re worth your weight in gold.”

“Well, that’s true. I’m sure the partners would prefer I stay rather than leave and take my clients with me.”

“No doubt about it.”

“So kid, you’re looking good, really good. How’s the baby?”

“Oh, she’s just perfect.” But remembering her relief when Anna was wheeled away made her tear up.

“Hey, it’s hard having a baby under any circumstance, but yours takes the cake. Cry all you want, though I have to admit that I actually hate when women cry.”

That made her laugh through her tears. She grabbed a tissue, dried her eyes and blew her nose. “There, I’m good again.”

“Good, because I have some business to discuss with you.”

Sarah brightened. “Go ahead, I’m all ears.”

“Now stop me anytime you’ve heard enough. I mean it, Sarah. You’ve had a terrible trauma.”

“Go ahead. It’s okay. Tell me,” Sarah said eagerly.

“Do you have any idea who owned the project that led to your accident?”

“No. All I know is that it was going to be condos. I heard it on the news.”

“Well, Mark Arkin was the developer. Apparently — according to the crane operator’s widow — Arkin Worldwide pressured the contractors to go full throttle, cutting corners whenever possible to get that building completed and generating revenue,” Harry explained in a revelatory tone. “With the economy in the toilet and credit dried up, apparently he was having a tough time. He’s not one to suffer alone, so he put the squeeze on the contractors.”

“I saw the widow on television. She was beside herself.” Sarah closed her eyes and remembered the swaying crane. “I saw that crane cab, Harry. Oh, that poor man.”

“Sarah, we don’t have to talk about this. I’m a blockhead to bring it up.”

“Tell me what you came to say. I want to hear it. I do.”

“Apparently, Arkin read about you in the paper. There was an article on the people involved in the accident. It was the worst construction accident in New York’s recent history, so the media are having a field day. You know how that goes. Tragedy sells,” Harry explained apologetically. “So apparently Arkin recognized your name, did his homework and contacted me today about a settlement.”

“A settlement? I haven’t even thought about filing suit,” Sarah said.

“The bastard’s using the approach we used on him. He did everything in hypotheticals, of course, but intimated that if he was indirectly responsible for your pain and suffering, he would want to make you whole. And he added that he’d prefer to ‘do the right thing’ and ‘bypass the whole liability labyrinth.’ Those were his exact words. He even paid you a compliment by saying how impressed he was by your representation of the hospital.”

“What do you make of it, Harry?”

“Well, you know what I think of him. He’s a
schmuck
of the highest order — and he feels the same about me, which is why I was surprised when he called. You should have heard him. He actually sounded contrite. Whether he is or not is beside the point. You’ll have to give some thought to his offer though, regardless.”

“Did he mention a figure?” Sarah asked.

“Well, he didn’t show his hand, but he intimated it would be high six figures. He’s got insurance, but still, that’s a tidy sum,” Harry offered.

“I guess so.” Sarah got quiet for a few moments. “I’ve got to tell you, Harry, I’m not really up to making a decision right now. Is the offer time sensitive?”

“He gave no date but was clear that he wanted this over and done with sooner rather than later — and confidentially. Oh, and there’s one more piece I forgot. He said that, hypothetically speaking, if he was responsible in any way for your injuries, he’d want to apologize to you in person.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Nope. That’s what he said.”

“Harry, look, I’m going to need someone to represent me. I’d like you to consider taking that on. I’ll understand if you’d rather not. You hate Arkin and the case is out of your area of practice. But please think about it.”

“Well, I’d only do it if I could do a good job for you. Let me talk with a guy from the San Francisco office who does construction law. I worked with him years ago on an outbreak case of Legionnaires’ disease caused by a hospital’s faulty ventilation system. He was a good man to partner with then and he’s an overall good guy. Not a son of a bitch like me. I’ll see what he thinks.”

“Harry, you’re the nicest son of a bitch I know. You really are.”

“If that’s a compliment, I’ll take it under advisement.”

“I mean it, Harry. You’re a great boss to work for. You have no idea how much I appreciate how kind you’ve been to me,” Sarah said.

“Well, I was trying to be a nice guy the other day when I told you to go home early. Look where that landed you,” he said, looking down at his shoes. “The one time I play the nice guy and see how it turns out? I should stick with being a son of a bitch.”

“No, Harry,” she said. “Your suggestion that I go home early was very thoughtful. I was tired and you were thinking of what was best for me. The truth is, I was looking forward to that nap. You were right — like you usually are. I just ran into some very bad luck.”

“Well, I think I should just stick with being the son of a bitch I was destined to be and everyone will be safer.”

“Have it your way, Harry,” Sarah said with a little smile.

“That’s the way I like it!” he said. “Look, I’d better go. Toby is going to kill me if I get home late and the steak is like leather. There’s only one person in the world I fear — and that’s my lovely wife.”

“Good night, Harry. Thanks for coming. Please give Toby my regards.”

“I will. She’s eager for an update on how you and the baby are doing. So now I’ll have good news to tell her.” He put on his overcoat, picked up his gloves and turned to leave. As he reached the doorway he turned back to Sarah. “Good night to my crack associate. We’ll talk again soon.” And with a wave of his hand, he was gone.

* * *

Sarah couldn’t believe Mark Arkin’s offer. What could she do with that much money? Her first thought was an apartment with plenty of room for Anna and all of her baby paraphernalia. That would be lovely. As the dollar signs danced in her head, she found herself dozing off. But suddenly the laxatives and stool softeners they’d fed her started to work with a vengeance. She awoke in alarm, and quickly pushed the call button. Mary, who was on duty again, was at her door in no time.

“What can I do for you, lady?”

“Oh, just as you predicted, those pills are working. You know, the ones that would loosen concrete. I’ve got to get to the bathroom.” The urgency in her voice reflected the urgency in her gut.

“Well, if you have to go right now, I’ll bring the bedpan, because my partner is at dinner and I can’t get you on the toilet by myself.”

“No, I want to use the toilet,” Sarah insisted, “not the bedpan. I practiced today and I know I can do it.”

“I saw that in your chart — but I can’t get you onto the toilet alone. It’s a two-person job and I’m by myself right now.”

“Please, there’s no time to argue about this. Please help me,” Sarah begged.

“Tell you what. I’ll bring you a commode and put it right next to your bed. I think you and I can manage that on our own.” Mary was gone before Sarah could say another word. But the cramping was increasing by the moment. She was thankful the therapist had left her leg free from its tether after her afternoon session. She sat upright, pivoted her body and dangled her legs off the side of the bed.

“I’m back,” Mary said, out of breath as she positioned the commode next to the bed. “What did you do, swing your legs off the bed by yourself? Don’t you know you’re supposed to wait for help to do things like that?” she chided her patient as she placed the walker in front of Sarah and helped her stand. Once upright, Sarah realized in horror that she that was powerless to stop what was about to happen. An explosion of feces ripped from her rear end and sprayed across the room.

“NO!” she cried out. “This can’t be happening!” Dissolving into tears, she held onto the walker for dear life as the nurse tried to keep her from falling.

“Sarah. We’re going to be all right,” Mary said calmly. “What’s most important now is to stand still. Can you do that for me? Can you hold onto the walker? If you can, I’m going to call the nurses’ station for some help.”

“Yes,” Sarah sobbed, “I think I can hold on. Oh my God. What’s wrong with me?”

“It’s going to be all right, honey. Just hold on.” The nurse kept one arm on Sarah as she stretched to reach the call button. “There, I got it. Someone will be here in a flash and we’ll get you all cleaned up,” Mary said soothingly.

“Oh my God. I can’t believe this. My newborn soiled herself and everything around her this morning. I’m no better than that. I’m as helpless as an infant,” she wailed.

The first one to arrive was the aide from next door who had heard the commotion. “Oh my, I see we have a little cleanup in here.”

“Hold the commentary, Gina, and get some people in here to help.”

“Sure. Sure thing, Mary.”

When Gina returned with another nurse, they tried to decide where to begin.

“We’ve got to get Sarah into a chair. She can’t stand like this for much longer,” Mary said. As Sarah hung on to the walker, she remembered what Jeff had said about the danger of a fall.

“Right,” Gina said. “How about the commode? It’s right here and we can get her on it pretty easily.”

“Good thinking. Okay, Sarah, on the count of three we’re going to pivot you and the walker so you can sit down. Okay?” Mary asked.

“Yes, yes,” Sarah said, relieved that there was a plan of action to get her off her one good leg. What was left of her guts felt like they would come cascading through the cut in her belly. The smell in the room nearly gagged her.

Just as Sarah was correctly positioned in front of the commode, the door opened. It was Rick. He took in the scene.

Sarah’s mortification was complete. “GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT,” she shrieked.

“Okay. Okay, Sarah. I’ll leave. I’ll come back later,” he said.

“NO. NO. DON’T COME BACK. NEVER COME BACK,” she screamed.

“Doctor, I think you’ll do the patient more good by leaving. Please,” Mary beseeched him.

“Sure. Okay,” Rick said, slinking out of the room.

“Oh my God. I don’t think I can take it,” Sarah cried. “It’s too much.”

“Okay girls, one, two, three,” Mary directed her comrades as they took position around the patient. “You can sit down now, honey.”

It was just in time. Sarah was lowered onto the seat of the commode. Gina handed her the box of Kleenex and then the three women donned their gloves and started to work. They calmly and methodically stripped and cleaned Sarah, then covered her in a fresh hospital gown. Then Mary excused herself for a few minutes, coming back wearing clean green scrubs. There was a man from housekeeping beside her, dragging a rolling bucket and mop.

It took more than half an hour to clean Sarah and her room. Then came the work of disinfecting Sarah’s leg wounds, which had been contaminated by feces as well. The ortho resident on call, Dr. Prabhu, repeatedly irrigated the openings in the skin of her injured leg. She also upped her antibiotics as a precaution. Just to be sure, she phoned Jeff Gotbaum, who always said he’d rather be disturbed at home than face a train wreck when he came onto the floor in the morning.

It was nearly eleven o’clock when the resident finally left. Sarah repeatedly thanked her, the nurses, the man from housekeeping and the aide. She asked Mary to keep the window open a crack to help air out the room. Once she was alone, she turned off the lights, pulled her covers up high and started talking aloud to the god whose existence she had long doubted.

“Are you satisfied now?” she asked angrily. “Some loving god you are. I know I haven’t been a perfect person by any measure, but what did I do to deserve this? And what did Mary and the others ever do to deserve having to clean up such filth? Well? I’m waiting. I guess I’ll have to wait forever. An answer can’t come from an invention of the human imagination.”

Alone in the dark Sarah made up her mind: There is no god to implore for relief. We’re on our own.

Just then there was a knock on the door. A man entered, silhouetted by the corridor lighting. Sarah knew immediately that it was Rick.

“Please leave. I asked you not to come back,” she said icily.

Rick pulled up a chair and sat down in the dark. She turned her back to him.

“Sarah, the same thing happened to me.”

That got her attention. She turned and saw the outline of his body in the chair.

“Remember you asked about my scars and I told you about the accident I was in as a kid? I was in the hospital for a long time, and part of my injuries made it impossible for me to control my bowels. I was way past the diaper stage and I was mortified. Of all the things that happened to me in that hospital, all the operations, all the pain, it was shitting myself that was the worst. In fact, I’d forgotten about it — buried it, I guess — until tonight. And when I was sitting in my office just now thinking about you, it came back to me again with all the shame, all the embarrassment. I’m so sorry you had to experience that, Sarah.”