Fever (19 page)

only atypical part of this equation is that she walked away instead of us issuing her the walking

papers. So when you go apeshit over the fact she left, I’m thinking, okay, he’s pissed because he

wasn’t the one cutting her loose this time. And I get it. Maybe you weren’t done with her. You’re a

control freak like me. You like to make the rules. She broke them when she walked out. What I did not

expect was for you to turn the city upside down looking for her.”

Jace sighed. Yeah, when Ash described it, things sounded bad.

“If you could have seen yourself these last two weeks, Jace. You looked like shit. You were

absentminded. The very last thing on your mind was work. Mia came in to see you twice and you

blew her off both times.”

Jace’s brows came together. “Bullshit. She didn’t come in to see me.”

Ash sighed. “You don’t even remember her coming in? Or do you just not remember being a dick to

her?”

“Christ. She really came to see me?”

Ash nodded. “You bit her fucking head off, which prompted Gabe to want to bash your skull in. I

told him to back off, that you were having a bad day.”

“Shit.”

“So there you are, barely existing in those two weeks. Acting like some insane, obsessed person.

So I do some checking. Then you find her and go off half-cocked. Then I don’t see you again until a

few minutes ago and you act like nothing happened. All of this after you told me to stay out of it and

that it didn’t concern me.”

Jace blew out his breath and rubbed his hand over the top of his head. “Okay, you’ve made your

point. I was a dick. That was out of line and we both know it.”

Ash made a rude noise. “I don’t give a fuck that you were a dick. You think this is about my

feelings being hurt? I’m worried about
you
, Jace. Worried about how wrapped up in this woman you

are. I’m worried that she’s all wrong for you and you can’t see it because she’s got her fingers

wrapped around your balls.”

Jace breathed through the instant surge of anger that hit him. Ash was his friend. He was worried.

Jace was going to be rational about this if it killed him.

“She needs me,” Jace said, fully aware of how lame it sounded. But fuck, he couldn’t even explain

it himself. How the hell was he supposed to explain it to Ash?

Ash studied him a long moment and then his lips parted with a sigh. “This is going to piss you off,

but it needs to be said. I could back off, let you do your thing, but we both know if the situations were

reversed and this was me acting the way you’ve been acting that you’d be in my face and you

wouldn’t back off. So hell if I’m going to do it. You’re my brother. More of a brother than my own.

You and Gabe both. We busted his balls over Mia. He deserved it. Now I’m going to bust yours over

Bethany. Because someone has to.”

Jace’s fingers clenched and he was tempted to walk out. But Ash’s words seared through his anger,

effectively taking the wind out of his sails. They
were
brothers. In every sense of the word. And yeah,

he wasn’t so pissed off that he didn’t realize he’d absolutely be busting Ash’s balls if his friend had

pulled a stunt like this.

“Just say it then,” Jace said in resignation.

“You took care of Mia for a lot of years,” Ash said in a quiet tone. “Always looked out for her.

Hell, you were father
and
brother to her. She needed you. Now suddenly she doesn’t. Not in the way

she did before. She’s no longer your responsibility. She has Gabe and her focus is going to be

primarily on him.”

“What are you getting at?”

Ash blew out a long breath. “Don’t you find it ironic that within days of Mia becoming engaged to

Gabe that your head is turned by a woman in need? And I don’t dispute she needs help, Jace. I’m not

an asshole. Her situation is ten kinds of fucked up. But the fact is, you’re a provider. A caretaker. And

Bethany is your Kryptonite. She’s down on her luck. She’s pretty. And you like the idea that she needs

you. Have you considered that maybe you need a break from being a sole provider and that maybe you

should live a little without becoming weighted down by another person in need?”

“What the fuck is all of that?” Jace demanded. “Are you even listening to yourself? Mia wasn’t

some kind of goddamn weight. She’s my sister. I’m her only family. I have never once resented having

to take care of her.”

Ash held up his hand. “You know damn well that’s not what I’m saying. Pull your head out of your

ass. Mia belongs to all of us. I never suggested for one minute that she was some kind of unpleasant

burden. I was there while she grew up. I have almost as much invested in her happiness as you do,

okay? That’s not my point. Mia was never my point. My point is that you’re at loose ends now that

Mia has Gabe and she no longer needs you in the same way she did before. And you latched on to

Bethany, who is like Mia only ten times more in need. You saw a woman in need and that appealed to

the provider in you. Not saying it isn’t noble. Not saying you’re a dick for wanting to help her. What I

am suggesting is that you’re in too deep and that you need to take a step back and gain some

perspective. You can help her without becoming so fucking emotionally invested. What do you really

know about her? You’re acting like you’re goddamn soul mates and you know fuck all about her.”

“I’m going to ask you to shut up now before you really piss me off,” Jace bit out.

“So I’m wrong?”

Hell yes he was wrong. Wasn’t he?

Shit.

All that psychological crap Ash spouted spun around in Jace’s mind. And it
was
crap.

When all else failed, honesty was always the best way to go. It wasn’t as if he and Ash weren’t

always straight with one another. The idea of trying to dissect whatever this was—this
obsession

with Bethany, as Ash had labeled it—made him twitchy.

Jace dragged a hand through his hair and was tempted to pull it out in frustration. “Look, Ash. I

won’t bullshit you by saying I have all the answers, okay? But if you’re trying to say that I have some

kind of savior complex when it comes to Bethany, you’re wrong. I was interested in her from the

moment I saw her at Mia’s party and I damn sure didn’t know all the crap about her that I know now. I

didn’t know she was homeless or that her situation was so crappy. I just knew I wanted her. And that

didn’t change when I found out all this other stuff. All it did was make me more determined that I was

going to be a part of her life.”

Ash’s expression grew pensive but he remained silent as Jace struggled with how to explain his

reaction to Bethany.

“How fucking shallow would it be of me to back away from her once I found out that her situation

isn’t the best in the world? Like she’s suddenly not good enough for me? That shouldn’t matter, right?

If I was interested in getting close to her before then, that shouldn’t change just because she doesn’t

measure up to my financial status or because she doesn’t have a place to sleep.”

“Christ,” Ash muttered. “Now I feel about three inches tall.”

Jace stifled the smile that twitched the corner of his mouth. It would be okay. Ash was nothing if

not a huge softie. Especially when it came to women. Ash may not have acted like it, but Jace knew

that at the core of this all was Ash’s deep concern for him. He got that. He appreciated it. But Ash had

to understand that this wasn’t some fucking charity case.

“I’m guessing I won’t be invited to another threesome,” Ash said dryly.

Jace scowled and Ash held up his hands.

“I get it. She’s yours.”

“This isn’t a joke,” Jace said darkly. “I’d like to forget that threesome ever happened. And when

you see Bethany—and you
will
see her—I really don’t want this to be a topic of conversation. It’s

going to be awkward as hell. I don’t want her to be embarrassed. I don’t want to give her any reason

at all to back away. I’m already having one hell of a time making her see things my way. And I really

want to forget the fact that you’ve seen her naked. That you’ve had your dick in places that, from now

on, are mine and mine alone.”

Ash shook his head, his expression priceless. “Holy fuck, man. You’re serious. I mean, really

serious. I never thought in a million years that you’d fall so fucking hard for a woman in so short a

time. How long did it take? Five minutes? Hell, I should have seen it that night, but how could I have?

You’ve never acted that way over a woman. You were growly and possessive from the start but I

ignored it.”

Ash leaned forward, his arms planted on the desk. “I know I asked this but now I really have to

ask. If you felt this way about her, then why the hell didn’t you just tell me? That night should have

never happened. For God’s sake,
why
did you let me fuck her?”

Jace closed his eyes briefly and when he reopened them Ash was staring a hole through him. There

was genuine confusion in his friend’s eyes. And regret. As though he feared that night was forever

going to be a bone of contention between them. Jace didn’t want it to be. Maybe he was being naïve.

It was fact that Bethany and Ash would cross paths again. If she was going to be a part of Jace’s life

—and she absolutely was—then she and Ash would see each other a lot. He wasn’t about to turn his

back on a friendship that was as deep as any blood tie. But what if it made things forever awkward?

Ash could deal. Of that Jace was positive. But the unknown in the equation was Bethany. How

would she react to Ash? Did she have feelings for him? Did she still desire him? It was obvious she

had been turned on by both men when they’d had sex with her. Would Jace have to always worry that

Bethany would be looking in Ash’s direction or that she’d even pursue him?

It was enough to drive him crazy and it was stupid to dwell so hard on that. He wasn’t being fair to

Bethany. It was obvious she was freaked out by that night and the fact she’d had a threesome with him

and Ash. He couldn’t assume the worst about her and be suspicious before he ever gave her a chance.

Their relationship would be doomed by jealousy and mistrust before it ever had a chance to get off

the ground.

“Jace?” Ash asked in a quiet voice. “Why’d you let it happen, man? I don’t get it. You have to

know I would have understood. I would have been surprised as hell, but I would have absolutely

backed off. I’d never let a woman come between us.”

But Jace had. Hell, he’d put Bethany between them because he’d been desperate and he’d seen her

waver. He’d been so afraid of having her walk away that he’d hastily agreed to something he was

vehemently against.

It hadn’t been fair to Bethany and it sure as hell hadn’t been fair to Ash.

“I fucked up,” Jace said in just as quiet a voice. “It was completely my fault. I thought at the time it

was what I
had
to do. Before I could step in and put an end to it, she agreed. And once she agreed, I

didn’t feel like I could say never mind, we’re not having a threesome, but oh by the way, I still want

to take you home and fuck you. And then she seemed to have second thoughts and I panicked because I

didn’t want her to walk away. It was all so goddamn fucked up and it got out of control before I could

fix it. And I regret every single minute.”

Something flickered in Ash’s eyes and he went silent. He settled back in his chair and looked

away.

“Is this going to change things?” Ash finally said. “Between you and me? You sound like Bethany’s

going to be around a long time. What does that mean for us because of that night?”

Unease crawled over Jace’s skin. If only he could go back to that night, he’d never say a goddamn

thing to Ash. He’d have never brought Bethany to his attention. And he damn sure would have never

fucked her with Ash.

And now Ash was voicing the same concerns that Jace had himself. This was huge. He could not

let his relationship with Bethany ruin his relationships with the people who meant the most to him.

But neither could he let her go. He had to make this work, which meant handling the entire situation as

delicately as possible.

“All it changes is that you’re not sleeping with her again,” Jace said with more confidence than he

felt. He hoped to hell he wasn’t deluding himself. “I’m sure the first couple of times that we’re all

together will be awkward. But it’ll only stay awkward if we make it that way. You’re both in my life,

man. I’m not choosing between you. I hope to fuck I never have to. All we can do is make sure it

doesn’t become an issue. But I need your help. Your . . . support.”

Relief simmered in Ash’s eyes. “You going to name your first kid after me?”

“Jesus. Now who’s moving fast? Pump the brakes, Ash. I’m not marrying her.”

“Yet,” Ash muttered.

“There’s a hell of a lot we have to work out,” Jace said in a grim voice.

“Anything I can help with? You asked for my support, but man, you gotta know you have that.