Fighting Control (Bay State Series Book 3) (13 page)

His voice is closer this time if that was even possible. “Bullshit Tanya, let me look at your hand.”

I let him pull my fingers from the steady stream of cool relief and suddenly my injury isn't the only thing heated. As I look into his eyes, I see a matching inferno. Anger, hurt, pain? I'm not sure what emotion I see lurking there in his gaze but I'm afraid to find out. Here in this kitchen surrounded by my brothers and friends. Looking away from him I see that everyone has left the room and we're all alone. I can't help but laugh to myself. When Sarah said she would take care of us being alone I had no idea it involved me burning myself taking the brownies out of the oven.

“What's so funny?” he asks and I realize that I must have laughed out loud. I shake my head and look to the ground. I don't know why but I feel shy. Ashamed maybe for pushing him away when all I've ever wanted is to be right where I am in this moment. I can see my red, angry, burnt hand still held gently in his and I yank it from his grip to place back under the cold water running from the faucet.

Looking back to his face I say, “I can't do this right now Julian. Can we just get through this party and talk later?”

“Will you talk later or run again? I need to know because if you say or if I even think that you'll run, I'll kidnap,” he stops at the look of utter shock on my face and he brings his hands up to cradle my face. “Shit, I didn't mean it that way I'm sorry.” He knows what his words just reminded me of and I'm glad he feels like shit right now. How dare he after what I went through.

“Just drop it Julian. I promise I'll talk to you later. Why don't you go see if Brent needs any help outside. My hand will be fine, okay. I got this.” I force myself to pull away from his touch and I turn off the water. “I need to get these brownies out of the pan and onto a plate.”

The look of dejection is evident on his face as he walks away to go in search of the guys. The tears start unbidden down my face as soon as he's out of sight and I realize that once again, I've pushed him away. He was being nothing but caring and I pulled the same shit I've become famous for.

“Hey, are you alright in here?” Sarah asks when she takes in the moisture leaking out of my eyes.

“Yeah, I'll be okay. Where do you want these?” I ask, gingerly balancing the plate of brownies between my good hand and my injured one.

“You can leave them on the side table. Let me get some plastic wrap though. We don't want Fenway getting into them.” I smile at the name of her cat. I wonder what they'll name their kids. Most likely New England sport related names.

“I'm going to change into my suit. Do you have an extra towel? The couple I brought with me are in the laundry.”

“Help yourself; they're in the hall closet by the back door.”

“Thanks. Oh and by the way; when you said you would take care of getting me and Julian alone did you have some sort of premonition that I was going to burn myself?”

She starts laughing again, shaking her head, making me forget all about my woes with her smile. “See you outside. Braydon and Ilyanna just got here so Brent fired up the grill. We'll be eating soon. Will you bring out the potato and tossed salads on your way out?”

“Sure thing.”

absolute torture

Julian

I don't know how much longer I can hide the agonizing bulge in my pants. Watching Tanya strut around in her bikini knowing what lies underneath it is driving me insane. It's only been twenty minutes and she hasn't even gone in the pool yet. I'm going to need some relief when she gets that glorious body all wet. Just the image in my head alone is making my shorts more and more uncomfortable with each passing second.

“Earth to Julian,” George says, breaking my stare as he hands me another beer. I think he forgot that I rarely drink and I'm heavy into practice right now.

“I'm good man. I have camp tomorrow. One's enough for me. Is there any bottled water?” I ask just as I notice Tanya walking into the house. “Never mind I'll go look in the fridge.”

He follows my line of sight and slaps me on the back as I get up. “Good luck with her. Remember I grew up dealing with that brat.”

“Thanks I guess.”

As I'm walking in she's trying to go back outside and I push against her with my body, effectively maneuvering her backwards and pinning her against the counter. “How long do you plan on torturing me in this thing?” I ask as I run my finger along the top edge of her bikini bottoms, caressing her soft skin and she sucks in a sharp breath at my touch. I know she's still as affected by me as I am by her.

“All day,” she says in answer and I trail my fingertips slowly from their spot on her stomach and glide them up her ribcage to slowly trace the underside of her breast. She shivers this time and I come up with an idea. I release her and go in search of that water.

“See you outside.” I look behind me as I make my way back to the patio and she's breathing heavily, clutching the counter with her eyes closed. Yeah, today's going to be fun.

“So how did it go?” George asks when I take a seat next to him by the grill.

“I don't know what you're talking about. I just went to grab some water.” I hold up the bottle, indicating my find.

“Sure buddy; keep telling yourself that.” I chuckle and go back to people watching. The girls are all gathered around Ilyanna and Haylee. Latasha, the woman Sarah introduced me to as her best friend is holding the baby while Ilyanna eats and I'm surprised to see Ashley sitting by Tanya who's notably ignoring her. No wonder George has chosen to sit by me away from the other guys; his gaze is focused in the same direction.

“Who's up for a game of chicken in the pool?” Frank asks and I groan internally.

Tanya saunters over and holds out her hand to me and I remember my plan that I thought of when we were in the house. “You game?”

She wants to play; we can play. “Yup. Are you?” I take her hand as I stand. “I don't play fair,” I warn her.

“Oh good. I don't plan to either.” She winks at me and leads me down into the water.

I crouch down and let her climb onto my shoulders. I deliberately let my fingers slide under the fabric covering her ass as I position her and I feel her thighs clench tightly around my neck. Score one for me. I slowly bring my hands around to run them down the inside of her legs. I take a little longer getting to get to her ankles than I should in company but I don't give a shit. I'm here to win and it has nothing to do with the game we're playing in this pool.

Not surprisingly we face off with Ashley on George's shoulders and suddenly it doesn't feel like a friendly game anymore. We win this round after Tanya successfully knocks her best friend from her brother's shoulders.

“Who's next?” I call out as Tanya’s grip tightens in my hair and she wiggles against me to reposition and I reach down to reposition something of my own. Thank God we're in this water.

Rachel quickly knocks Tanya from me. I think she let her win because Rachel's pregnant. I can't say I blame her. I was questioning in my mind if she should even play. On her way to the surface Tanya conveniently finds my cock below my trunks and her bare hand gives me a gentle squeeze. Fuck! Tie game.

She manages three more strokes to my aching dick and fondles my balls making the score five to one and I don't think that I have the strength to continue. We have to leave now or I'll ravage her in the car before we even make it back to my place. Luckily Brent calls game and we all climb out of the water.

I'm about to ask Tanya if she's ready to leave when Brent clears his throat. “We have an announcement and we wanted everyone here to hear it.”

He looks to Sarah and her eyes fill with tears. “Brent asked me to marry him.”

“And she said yes,” Brent finishes with pride in his voice. He pulls her to him for a long kiss and everyone erupts into cheers and congratulations.

“Do you have a date set yet?” Ilyanna asks and I look around for Tanya who's silently slipped away and I spot her in the far corner of the yard, sitting on the bench under a large oak tree with Ashley. As much as I want to take her home right now with me, she needs this; they both do.

“Not really sure yet,” Sarah answers, “But we know it won't be during football season. We enjoy watching all of the games with everyone and if we're on our honeymoon we might miss one.”

I stay with the group and listen to their chatter as I wait for Tanya to finish talking with Ashley. I notice George watching the girls, Frank watching him and several of the others watching us with curious looks on their faces.

Tanya catches the stares and she says something to Ashley making her look in our direction. They stand and make their way to us with blank expressions on their faces. I can't tell how the conversation went but they're not tearing each other's hair out so that's a good sign.

Latasha, who looks insanely familiar, is the first to leave followed by Braydon, Ilyanna, Haylee, John and Rachel. I want to wait until there's less of a crowd to ask Tanya if she'll come home with me.

I'm sitting with Brent, George and Frank as Tanya and Ashley help Sarah clean up. When Tanya comes out of the house without the other girls on her heels I take this opportunity to approach her with my question.

I excuse myself to meet her halfway. “Will you come home with me?”

She's changed out of her bikini and now she's wearing a pair of cut off jean shorts and much to my enjoyment a Patriots tank top. “I was hoping you would ask me that.”

“Let me go change out of these wet shorts and we'll get going.” She shyly nods her head and blushes. It's like she knows exactly what I have planned for her when we get back to my place.

She apologizes as soon as I shut my car door. “I'm sorry Julian. I'm ready to stop running. I'm just so scared we're both going to get hurt if this relationship causes problems for us.” I reach over and grab her hand.

“We don't have to worry about it Tanya. I talked to my coach. He's fine with it. He actually said that the only way it would become a problem is if we make it one and I don't see that happening; not if we don't want it to. If a problem arises we'll face it together, okay. I don't want to lose you again. Please promise me you'll talk to me?” I slowly rub her hand with my thumb while I wait for her answer. The silence in the car is almost comforting. It lets me know she's thinking before speaking instead of blurting her usual response.

“I'm so afraid Julian; afraid of someone at the station trying to use our relationship against us.”

“Again it's up to us if we let it break us Tanya. We can't give anyone else that power.”

“You make it sound so easy. These people I work with are vultures looking for any scraps that they can get. Are you prepared for them to come after me for a story once they find out we're together because I'm not.” I can see the expression on her face and I know she's worried. I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about that.

“We'll cross that bridge when we get there sweetheart. Right now I just want to worry about us. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. I can't believe I've been so stupid.” She starts to cry and thank Christ I'm pulling into my garage because my instinct to comfort her is forefront and I can think of nothing else in this moment. I take the keys out of the ignition and pull her onto my lap, burying her face against my chest and gently run my fingers through her hair as I pepper kisses on top of her head.

“Shhh baby; you're not stupid. You said yourself that you're scared and that's okay. We'll get through this I promise but we're going to do it together.” Her crying has stopped with short sniffs in their place and I use this opportunity to get her inside. More importantly to get her back into my bed where she belongs.

I lead her through my house, keeping the lights off on the way and she stops me in the hall. “I have a confession,” she says and we’re suddenly standing in the soft florescent glow of the light fixture on the wall beside us. I wait patiently, pinning her against the wall. I know she can feel my erection digging into her because it’s making her squirm and soft little moans keep escaping her lips. I let my stare penetrate hers letting her know that I’m ready for whatever she has to say. “I’ve been so unsure about us but not anymore Julian. I’m ready now.”

“Thank fuck for that.” I pick her up and carry her the rest of the way to my room. I set her down upright on her feet and ask, “Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” she answers with no hesitation.

“I have a confession to make too,” I tell her and I have to admit that she looks a little bit nervous. If she has any fears after what I have to tell her I’m damn sure going to help her through them.

She lifts her face up to mine and places a swift kiss on my lips. “I’m listening.”

“It’s more of something that I need to show you. I’m going to ask you again. Do you trust me? And I mean really trust me. You’ve been through a lot and I don’t want to push you away.”

“Just show me Julian. You don’t scare me. I’ll be fine I promise unless you’re hiding bodies in a freezer in the basement.”

“No, I’m definitely not hiding any bodies. Come with me. Keep your eyes closed.” She does what she’s told and holds her hand out. I take it in mine and turn on the light before walking her further into my room. She hasn’t seen it yet but I have rose petals scattered all over the bed. I’ve been preparing for tonight. “Are they still closed?”

“Yes,” she whispers.

“Good. I’m going to lay you back on the bed now. Put your hands above your head.”

A smile breaks across her face as she says, “Yes sir.” I think she has a slight inkling on where this is going and that’s a good sign.

“If you get uncomfortable at any time just let me know okay.”

“Okay,” she agrees.

I fasten her wrists, the right first and then the left to the straps hanging out of the edge on either side of the mattress, making sure to lightly brush against her nipples on the way. “Is this alright?”

“Yes,” she says breathlessly. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly now and I know she’s getting excited.

“I hope you aren’t too attached to your tank top.”

“What?” Her eyes fly open as I rip the material down the middle.

“Eyes closed now,” I bark out. She obeys instantly and I’m pleased with how well she’s playing along. I can’t wait to taste her lips again so I crush mine against hers in a heated kiss filled with days of longing. If I keep this up I won’t be able to go through with everything that I have planned. I need to gain some control over myself. Releasing her lips, I kiss across her collarbone, making my way up her neck to her ear.

My hands travel from her waist, holding tightly to her jean shorts, pulling them down, along with her panties, caressing her legs as I go until I reach her ankles and I swiftly yank them the rest of the way off. . “Spread your legs for me baby.” She obeys my command and I reach over the edge of the bed to grab one of the straps and secure it in place around her ankle, repeating the process with the other one.

“You can open your eyes now. I’ll be right back.” I walk to my closet and pull a small box from the top shelf. I carry it to the foot of the bed and place it down where she can see. I open it and start pulling items out. Before placing them on the bed I hold each one up for her to see, naming them as I go. “Blindfold,” I run the black silky material through my fingers before reaching for another. “Butt plug,” her eyes widen at this one and I cock a small smile. I just know she’s enjoying this as much as I am by the small “yes,” that leaves her lips and I couldn’t be happier. “And finally feathers. We’ll get into more later but I think this is good enough for now wouldn’t you agree?”

When she nods in agreement I remove my clothes and climb up onto the bed, straddling her waist with the blindfold in my hand. “Are you ready for this Tanya? You can always say no.”

“Yes, please Julian? I’m more than ready.”

That’s all the encouragement I need. I secure the blindfold, obstructing her view and set to controlling her pleasure. When I’m satisfied that she can’t see, I stretch behind me to grab the feathers and glide them along her body, starting with her breasts and making my way down to her toes, stopping briefly between her legs, getting her sex good and wet for what's coming next. I slowly kiss my way back up to her lips to distract her while I insert the small toy and she tenses, causing me to stop.

“Are you okay?” I ask out of genuine concern. This is supposed to make her feel good, not the opposite.

“I’ve never had anything in there before; it’s a little uncomfortable.” I take the plug and lay it next to us on the bed. We’ll get to that later.