Fighting Control (Bay State Series Book 3) (9 page)

Make Believe

Tanya

Waking up I realize two things. One, I have a splitting headache and two, my arms are tied above my head. Immediately a barrage of realization hits me, getting into the cab, Eric holding a gun to the driver's side, Eric pulling the trigger before I blacked out. None of it, not a single part of it was a dream.

I can hear him talking to himself and I keep my eyes shut, pretending to still be passed out as I try to come up with a plan to get out of this situation alive.

“They needed to die. They tricked me. That stupid bitch. Tricking me and taking me away from Tanya. Why did I believe them? This is all their fault. They'll never suspect the fire was me. Now I can have my happily ever after. One way or another I'll make her love me again.”

And it hits me, exactly what I need to do, when I can't pretend to be sleeping anymore.

I feel a sharp slap across my face and I keep my eyes screwed shut.

“Wake the fuck up,” Eric screams at me. I can feel him inches from my face. His spit splatters against the skin of my cheek and I feel him close in and lick a path from my chin to my ear.

What the fuck is wrong with him? Was he crazy like this while I was with him? If he was he hid it well.

Another slap stings me, this time sharper than the first on my now wet skin. “Wake the fuck up. I want you to feel everything I have to give you. I know you still love me. You have to. I'll make you. You'll be mine again if it's the last thing you do.”

My pulse multiplies and I have a sinking feeling that my make believe time is over. He can't possibly believe I'm still sleeping with the acceleration of my racing heart. Not only that but the way my chest is heaving, like I've run a marathon. Was anyone worried when I didn't show up at Ashley's? Will she call around looking for me? Has anyone found the cab driver? My only hope is that Eric was stupid enough to bring me to that shady motel I saw a few blocks before stopping the car. How did he get me here without raising a few eyebrows? Then I remember the rundown houses in the area and my heart sinks. It screamed drugs and if that's the case everyone was probably too high to notice or didn't give a shit as long as we weren't a cop car.

“I know you're awake, sweetheart. Now open those pretty eyes and look at me. I'm gonna make you feel so good. Make you forget all about that pansy ass you were with,” he says with venom in his voice. How can he claim to love me? He is one sick fuck and I hope to hell that someone finds me in time. I have no idea of what he's capable of.

I know one thing’s for sure; my make believe time has definitely not ended. I need to keep him talking. Make him think I want and love him back. I just hope I can pull it off so he doesn't hurt me or worse, make me have sex with him. I would rather die.

Slowly I open my eyes to see him staring down at me, his breath heavy and reeking of whiskey. When did he start drinking? He was so straight laced when we were dating.

“I've been waiting for you to wake up. Sorry I lost my patience. I need you to feel me. I need to satisfy you. I can't do that if you're passed out now can I?”

“Why are you doing this Eric? You left me. You broke my heart. Why didn't you just talk to me about this?” I tug on my bindings trying to loosen them to no avail.

He looks to my wrists tied above my head and I need to think fast. “Why am I tied up? I won't go anywhere if you just talk to me. Tell me what happened. Why are you being this way Eric? Help me understand. I promise I won't try to run.”

He eyes me suspiciously, trying to judge my sincerity. “Please Eric? You easily have a hundred pounds on me. I won't run I promise. I love you.” I swallow the bile in my mouth with the lie.

He bends down, nestling his face in my neck as his arms stroke mine and I look around the room, taking in the one lone chair sitting next to the dresser on the opposite wall, the exit door so close in the small room. I crane my neck to see the other side of the room and he takes it as an invitation to kiss and suck my neck when its length stretches out to allow me to see. On the edge of the dresser that I couldn't see before lies the gun. The gun he used to kill the driver and I shiver. Again he gets the wrong idea and his arms leave mine to trial down to my chest but right before he gets there the door bursts open and several armed officers rush in and I see my brothers and Julian trailing in behind them.

Before he realizes what's going on Eric's weight is torn from me and he's slammed to the floor as one of the cops cuffs him and another grabs the gun from its resting place, zipping it in an evidence bag.

With my eyes transfixed on the scene in front of me, I hardly notice that my wrists are being freed. I'm being lifted into a pair of strong arms and the dam bursts. Tears stream down my face and onto the hard chest under it.

I look up into Julian's tortured eyes and I bring my lips to his in a desperate kiss, a thank you for coming to my rescue. I know it's the last thing I should be thinking about right now but it's an escape, an escape from everything around me. I know I'll have questions to answer but right now I just want to be safe in his strong arms.

I pull myself away from his mouth and tuck my head under his chin, still sobbing. “Shhh baby, I have you. You're going to be okay. He can't hurt you. He can't hurt anyone. He's going away for a long time.”

“Thank you.” Unfolding myself from his shelter, I look over to see my brothers outside speaking to the cops. I know it's their way of giving me a few minutes with Julian but I need to get this over with. I need to talk to them. Tell them what I know about the cab driver, about Eric's wife and possibly her whole family. I don't know if it was his craziness talking or he really did those things he said. “I need to go talk to them,” I whisper.

“Of course,” he says while standing me up and keeping my caged in his arms. “I need to hold you. Is that alright?” I nod my head, afraid to speak again once I was able to stop crying. I do know one thing for sure, I'm not going to try to control these feelings I have for him anymore. If I wouldn't have come up with an excuse not to see him after work things might have happened a little differently this afternoon.

My imagination wanders to Julian being at my building picking me up instead of the nightmare that awaited me.

“Tanya, may I have a few words with you? I'm Officer Hastings. I just need a few minutes of your time. Would you mind coming down to the station and filing a statement with us?” he asks.

“I don't mind as long as Julian can come with me.”

“That's not a problem Miss Mitchell. Your brothers can come as well if you want.”

“Yes please.”

There are six cruisers sitting in the parking lot and what seems like hundreds of people standing around in groups to see what all the commotion is. I have no idea what time it is but it must be late. The sun has already set and the lights from the cars illuminate everything around us in a motley of red, white and blue, blinding me momentarily before putting my head down to climb into the back seat of one of the cars next to Julian. I watch as Frank climbs into George's passenger seat and suddenly I'm flying away, flying down the busy streets of Boston, hopefully leaving the diseased memories of my abduction behind me.

deliveranc
e

Julian

I'm sitting in the police station with Tanya beside me, clutching at my hand. She's squeezing me so hard that I feel like my hand's going to break. I couldn't give a shit though. If it's what she needs to do to get through this, so be it.

I still can't believe someone came running into that motel office to track us down.

The older man came into the office and told us that he thought we looked lost and after deliberating for a few minutes remembered seeing a man walking down the street with what looked like an unconscious woman in his arms. He said he thought we might have been looking for her and that he was worried but didn't want to call the cops. Something about not wanting to look like a rat in the neighborhood when the cops showed up at his door asking questions. I thanked him with five crisp hundred dollar bills and assured him that he wouldn't be mentioned.

Now as I sit here and listen to what Tanya had to endure, even though from my calculations she was passed out for most of it, makes me want to find out where they're keeping that lowlife piece of shit and kill him with my own two hands.

I didn't miss the cameras that were at the motel or the ones waiting outside the station when we arrived.

Honestly all I want is for the questioning to be over so I can take Tanya home, feed her and hold her while she sleeps. I will do everything in my power to make sure she knows she's safe. She will always be safe with me. I still haven't had my talk with Frank but I think after today my intentions with his sister are more than clear. I was ready to barge into that room with my own two fists as my only weapons but Frank made me rethink that idea and wait for the cops to get there.

George showed up only a few minutes before the police and we filled him in the best we could as we paced in the small stuffy office. The little old lady at the desk sat, chain smoking her cigarettes, filling the space with stale smoke. We would have waited outside but the police said it would be safer if we stayed inside just in case the gunman came out and became suspicious.

Why hadn't I thought of her ex? She hadn't painted him as a psychotic madman. She loved him once. How bad could he be right?

As hard as I try to block out the details of the sordid ordeal, I can't. She tells the officer taking her statement about her fast thinking to fool him into thinking she had feelings for him and a tight knot twists in my stomach about what she must have been thinking while it was all going on. I'm making it my new life mission to make sure she always feels safe. Always feels protected. I know her father and brothers have been the ones to fill that role in her life but from this day forward that person will be me.

The one thing stopping it from being a reality is our careers. Mine takes me away multiple times, although short periods of time, for months out of the year. The only solution would be for her to come with me. Is that possible?

“Let's get out of here,” Tanya says, pulling me from my thoughts.

“All done?” I ask and she nods. The dark circles under her eyes show pure exhaustion and I know she needs sleep but she needs food too. “I'm taking you to my place tonight. I need to know you're alright. I already told Frank and George. As soon as you're up to it you can call your parents. Your brothers said they would fill them in with what's going on.”

“Thank you. I don't want to sleep alone.”

“And you won't. Come on; let's grab some food on the way home. I'm starving. Then we can go to sleep. I changed my gym spot to later in the day and George said he'd call work to tell them you wouldn't be in for a few days.” I tell her as we walk out of the building.

“I have to work.” She stops in her tracks and turns to face me. “I'm not letting this beat me. If I stop living then he wins.”

“Oh baby, he's not winning anything other than a very long jail sentence. You need to rest. That had to be pretty traumatizing for you. I'm not saying to quit living. Just take a few days.” Again she just nods in defeat. I agree she can't put her life on hold but it's not healthy if she pretends as if it never happened either.

“Where did you go back there?” she asks and I arch a single eyebrow in question. “At the station, you looked a million miles away.”

“I was trying to imagine what you must have been thinking about through it all. How you managed. You don't know how happy I was to see you unharmed.”

“I don't know what happened to him. He never showed any signs of being psychotic when I was with him,” she tells me. “Shit I don't even know how he knew when I was leaving work or that I was taking a cab. He must have been following me. The cop I gave my statement to said they were going to do a sweep of my office and parents house. Also I'm going to testify in court. They're going to let me know when they have a date set for the trial.”

I don't know what to say to any of it so the rest of the way to my house is ridden in silence. I want to go with her to the trial but don't want to overstep. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now I just want to get her home and hold her.

Surprisingly she's doing a hell of a lot better than I thought she would be or even should be. I wonder how long it will take for the dam to break. I know it's inevitable; it's just a matter of time. She's most likely still in shock. I know I would be if I witnessed someone being shot. She hasn't talked about it and I won't push her. When she's ready to talk about it she will.

“Thank you,” she says, taking me from my inner thoughts.

“For what?”

“For being here for me, you don't need to be, so thank you.”

“Do you not feel it? This thing between us. I really want to get to know you better. I've never been this close to feeling anything for anyone before and that's saying a lot. I want to be here to help you. I need to. Does that make sense?” I look over to her sitting in the passenger seat of my car, which was brought to me by Frank after I handed him the keys and explained to him where it was parked. It's a good thing one of us had a car at the scene. George was more than happy to bring him to grab my wheels.

She reaches over the shifter and grasps my hand in hers, giving it a tight squeeze. “Yeah, I feel it too and it scares me. I thought I had everything I wanted with Eric. How wrong was I? How could I have missed the signs? They had to have been there. But this, this thing between us is different. Stronger almost and that scares me more then I'd like to admit.” She pulls our hands to her lap, rubbing circles with her thumb across the taut skin that covers my palm.

She continues, “I think I thought he was safe, my first boyfriend that actually showed me any attention. The few boyfriends I had in high school were asshole jocks.” I look over to her again, briefly taking my eyes off the road and watch her as the corner of her mouth lifts slightly. “No offense.”

I return her smile. “None taken, sweetheart. I'm a grown man. I may be a jock but an asshole I am not.”

“No, you are definitely not. You're sweet and thoughtful and I'm really glad I met you.” She moves our hands to my lap and leans the distance to rest her head on my shoulder in the tight confines of the car.

“So am I Tanya. So am I.”

I start to pull off of the road when she protests. “Do you have anything to eat at home? I really don't want to stop. I just want to get to your place, take a nice hot bath and let you hold me.” She tilts her head up towards me and places the sweetest damn kiss on the corner of my mouth and I know I'm screwed. I'll never be able to deny this girl anything.

“Anything you need baby, anything at all.”

She stays snuggled to my side for the rest of the ride to my house and I blow out a long breath when I finally pull in the garage and cut the engine.

“Let's get you inside and in the tub. I'll find us something to eat while you soak.”

“Don't you want to join me?” She bats her pretty little eyes at me and it pulls at something deep in my chest, constricting like a python trapping its prey in its clutches.

“Not this time baby. You need to relax.” How she can even think about being intimate I have no idea. I don't want to push her. Shit, after what I witnessed in that hotel room, I'm still shaken. She's processing this way better than I ever could. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and I don't want to be the cause of it.

I go around the car and open her door, helping her out and she clutches to me as we enter the house.

After leading her to my bathroom, I leave her to undress while I start the water, adjusting the temperature so it's not too hot.

When I turn around I have to suck in a sharp breath at the sight of her. Red welts that I hadn't noticed before decorate her wrists in an angry reminder of what she's been through. It takes all of my control to not close the distance between us and take her in my arms and make her forget about it all. I know it's not that simple so I turn on my heel and call over my shoulder that I'm going to find us some food.

Returning back to the bathroom I stop short in the doorway and drink in the sight of her. Absolute perfection, her head is tilted back, eyes closed as she lies still in the bath. The top swells of her breasts float like beacons calling to me on the surface of the water. I could stand here forever watching her but she has needs so I slowly make my way to her side.

Pushing a few stray strands of her golden hair, darkened by wetness that have settled across her forehead and over her eyes back to their place on the top of head, she slowly opens her eyes and treats me with a smile so bright it knocks my breath right out of my lungs. How did I get so fucking lucky to have this angel come into my life?

“Are you ready for some food? I have the fixings for salad and some grilled chicken left over. Does that sound okay?”

Her smile never falters as she answers me, “That sounds delicious. Thank you.”

She stands from the tub, shamelessly naked in front of me and I hurry to get a towel. I don't know how long my control will last with her standing in front of me gloriously wet and glistening, droplets of water cascading down her perfectly sculpted body.

Once I have her covered up enough to stunt my growing erection, she steps out of the tub and I reach in to drain the water and turn to see her unabashedly drying herself. Bending over to dry her calves, I have to look away. She's killing me here. I'm really trying to do the right thing. I swear she's trying to taunt me on purpose.

Walking out of the bathroom, I don't look back at her. I don't want to seem like a dick or that I'm not interested. She's been through something dramatic and if I took advantage of her now I'd be no better than a dog. I just need her to understand my reasoning if she tries to push.

Shortly after leaving her, she joins me in the kitchen and shimmies her ass up onto one of the counters. She's wearing the long jersey I left for her and her legs are smooth and bare, dangling from the edge. She looks so young and carefree in this moment that you would think that nothing happened today.

I stand and make my way to her, wedging myself between her thighs as I watch her eat. The way she places the fork into her mouth, torment on my already cracking resolve. What can I say? I'm a man and I have the sexiest woman alive looking oh so tempting in one of my shirts and not much else sitting here in my kitchen. I suddenly want to taste her more than my discarded salad on the table but my responsible side kicks in, making my thoughts reign in. I run my hands up her thighs and give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Feeling better?” I ask and walk back to table, sitting down in my earlier occupied chair and finishing my meal.

She nods her head, mouth full of the delicious salad and smiles over at me from her perch. “I am. I'm also ready for bed. You ready to join me and protect me in your big, sexy, muscular arms?” She winks at me and hops off the counter.

She places her bowl in the dishwasher after rinsing it off. She saunters over to the table and back to the sink to do the same with mine. “You didn't have to do that. I would have gotten it,” I tell her.

“I wanted to. Now take me to bed and make me feel a whole lot better.” She walks ahead of me shucking off the shirt covering her and flings it back at me.

I am in so much trouble. There is no fucking way I'm going to be able to control myself but I'm sure as hell going to try. I'm just so damn happy that she's safe and spending the night in my arms. That's all I need. Now what I really want is something else all together.