Fighting Control (Bay State Series Book 3) (7 page)

captive

Tanya

“What the fuck Tanya? Do you want everyone thinking you're just sleeping with him to score an interview and better your career?” Frank asks with disdain dripping from his voice.

“Are you kidding me? I would never do that,” I seethe back at him, trying not to raise my voice and alert our parents to our disagreement.

“Well nobody else is going to believe that. You don't know what you're getting yourself into being involved with someone like him.” He's positively fuming. My handsome older brother who I know is trying to be protective of me doesn't look so handsome right now and quite frankly is pissing me off.

“Someone like him? Tell me. What's that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, come on Tanya. He's a professional athlete. He could have anyone he wants.”

I stop him right there, “Excuse me but what are you implying? That he couldn't possibly want me? That's a real shitty thing for you to say. Now if you don't mind, I need to get ready for work. I suggest you do the same and stay the fuck out of my personal life.”

I storm off through the house and climb the stairs after giving my parents a quick hello as I passed the doorway to the kitchen. Dad was sitting in his usual chair reading the newspaper, while my mom had some celebrity rag open in front of her face. Honestly I've never had the desire to peer into their personal lives, whether true or fabricated. What they do on their own time is their own.

Stripping myself of yesterday’s clothes once I'm in my room, I walk to my closet and study myself in the full length mirror that hangs on the door. My brother's words slither their way into my thoughts, poisoning my confidence. My legs are slender and almost long enough to be perfect. I'm not model height, but I'm not short either. The tops of my thighs flow perfectly into my slightly wider hips that taper up into my waist. I'm not stick thin that's for sure, and thank God for that. I have just enough padding in the middle that I don't look sickly. My eyes travel up to settle on my breasts, the top swells swollen over the tops of my bra cups and my blonde hair falls in waves to just above them. I do have a rather nice body if I do say so myself, but what gives me pause is my face. Are my cheeks too round? My nose too pointy? I've always had a few concerns with my face, which reminds me of a mix between a pixie and a cherub. Features that don't really go together, but somehow work.

The more I think about what Frank had to say, the more I see it for what he was trying to say. He wasn't trying to hurt my feelings by saying I'm not attractive, but more in saying, what's to stop Julian from going somewhere else. Having more than one girl on the side. Am I the girl on the side? Could I someday become her?

I know one thing's for sure, if we continue this relationship, we need to have a serious talk about boundaries. I won't share. Not now, not ever.

Pushing the uncertainty from my mind, I rifle through my closet searching for something cool and comfortable. Grabbing a rather thin but modest gray a-line, knee length skirt from its hanger, I pair it up with a white shell tank with lacy trim and a light pink, short sleeve blouse, leaving it open. After slipping my feet into a pair of dove gray peep toes, I call Ashley to make plans for tonight.

She answers on the second ring. “Hey Tanya. What's up?” She sounds rather nervous and it reminds me that I have a few questions for her. They'll have to wait until tonight though. One, I'm running a little late and two, well I would rather have this conversation in person.

“I told Julian that I was helping you study tonight. I kind of don't want to lie to him, even though we didn't technically have plans, at least I'm trying to make some.” I join in with her laughter when she starts to cackle on the other end of the phone.

“That's rich girl. Even for you. So why don't you want to see him tonight? Does he have a small dick? Suck in the sack? Have a vagina?” She's still snorting with laughter. But mine dies out at her questions.

“Umm, no. None of the above. Extreme opposite of all those things.” Her high pitch screech leaves a ringing in my ear.

“I want to hear all about it. Of course I need your help studying, if that's what you want to call it.” This time when she laughs it sounds forced and it brings me back to my suspicion that maybe she's hiding something from me. She's been acting strange since I've come back home and I plan on getting it out of her one way or another.

“Okay, I'll take a cab from work to your place, since parking is shit there and we can grab some dinner, maybe a movie. We'll figure it out later.  I gotta run so I'm not late for work. Love you, see ya later.”

“Love you too, see you tonight.”

I hit end on my phone and put it into my clutch along with some lip gloss, my can of mace, debit card and license. Grabbing my keys from my dresser by the door, I step out of my room and close the door behind me. Stopping in the bathroom briefly, I apply some eyeliner, a light layer of blush and run the brush through my hair. Choosing to keep it down today, I slide the elastic on my wrist just in case it gets unbearable resting on my neck. It's supposed to be close to triple digits today. I'll be fine this morning and later this evening but if I leave the office for lunch I may want to put it up.

I stop in the kitchen where my parents are still sitting in the same position they were a half an hour ago. I bend to give them a kiss in turn and tell them I love them before heading for the door where Frank is leaning up against it, arms wrapped around his chest and a tight scowl on his face.

“Our conversation isn't over,” he tells me when I stand impatiently in a stare down with him as I wait for him to move out of my way.

I look away from him and study the outdated pattern of the wallpaper that my parents refuse to change. They say it gives the house character. I say it's tacky as hell. I know one thing for sure; when I get my own place I'll be going for modern sophistication, the exact opposite of the home I grew up in and a spitting image of Julian's house. Shaking the image of it being our house from my mind, I look back to my brother and raise a single eyebrow in defiance.

“Either get out of my way or I'll go to one of the other two exits out of this house, your choice. And as far as that conversation is concerned, it's closed. I will not let you entertain that idea and puts doubts in my mind. I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. Thank you very much. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to work.”

Moving to the side and extending his arm in a sweeping gesture, he opens the door for me and leans in, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “I love you little sis, I just want what's best for you.”

“I love you too and I appreciate it, really I do. I'll talk to you later tonight. I'm helping Ashley study after work.” I give him a quick hug and turn to cross the porch, walk down the stairs and quickly climb in my car.

The ride to work is gridlock as usual and I find myself wondering for the hundredth time why I don't take everyone's advice since I've been home to take the subway. I love the scenery of the big city, the feel of my hands on the steering wheel and the comfort of solitude with my thoughts. Being around countless strangers every day is not something that appeals to me. I'll take a longer commute any day to  a stuffy, overpopulated ride on public transit.

“Hey. Did your hot stud find you?” Autumn asks as I step out of the elevator when it stops on our floor. It's kind of creepy like she was waiting for me. And how would she know about Julian?

“How did you know he was looking for me?” I ask. She couldn't have known we hooked up the other night. She wasn't there.

“Greg didn't tell you? Julian came in the other day looking for you. Even gave him an interview as a thank you. Isn't that great? Greg doesn't lose his job and you got to re connect with Julian.”

She changes her tone quickly; I'm sure from the look of utter mortification on my face. “Did he not find you?” She asks. I can't say I blame her for being excited.

We really did hit it off at that party. My irritation has nothing to do with her. The betrayal from Greg is a different story. And Julian, I'm so pissed at him right now; I don't think I'll ever speak to him again. He somehow had to know Greg needed that interview, and suddenly I'm not so angry at him anymore. All of my anger and pain point in one direction. Julian.

“Oh, he found me alright. What an egotistical asshole. What makes him think I wanted him to find me? And to use Greg like that. Fuck, I'm pissed.” The silent turmoil inside of my brain feels like it weighs a thousand pounds right now and I suddenly crack, letting out a maniacal laugh.

“Are you going to be alright?” Genuine concern is etched in her features and I have to reassure her.

“You bet your ass I am. I can't say the same for Julian if I'm ever inclined to even talk to him again. How could I have been so naive? I really thought it was a coincidence that he was at Rain.” I shake my head and start to walk down the hall towards my cubicle to find out what frivolous tasks await me.

“What are you going to do?” She leans her backside against the wall inside my small, barely closed off space and watches me, waiting for an answer.

“I'm not sure. I do know I'm going to ignore him if he texts or calls,” I tell her as I try to busy myself with checking my work email after firing up my computer.

“I'm gonna head to my office. Let me know if you need anything. Maybe we can have a few drinks after work and prowl the scene for a little while. Take your mind off of him for a bit.”

“Thanks but I have plans tonight with my friend Ashley. Rain check?”

“Sure. Remember what I said. Anything you need. Don't hesitate okay?” She walks out of my cubicle and pops her head back in when I don't answer her right away.

“I will. Wanna do lunch instead?” I ask, needing as much distraction as possible today.

“I'm sorry. I can't today. I have an appointment with a realtor a few blocks over.”

Well damn. Maybe Greg can keep me company. “No problem. Let me know how it goes.” I know she's wanted to buy for a while now. “I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.”

“I will. Talk to you later. And if you want my opinion, I think it's kind of cute.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Julian going to extremes to find you. It must mean he's really into you. And you have to admit, he sure is easy on the eyes.”

I can't help the devilish smile that spreads across my face as I picture just how easy he is on the eyes. “I have to agree with you there. I don't know, it's still too fresh to look at it objectively.”

“Anyhow..., I'll let you get to work. Sort that shit out girl. Have a nice day at the office dear.” She laughs as she disappears for the doorway, if that's what you would call it when technically there's no door.

Part of what she said makes sense. Would I have done the same thing if I was desperate to find him? Probably. What I don't like is the fact that he didn't tell me. He let me assume we just happen to run into each other. That's the real problem isn't it? I try my best to push the nagging thoughts from my head for a least a little while so I can attempt to get some work done.

Lunchtime comes faster than I ever thought possible with so much shit riddling my brain that I'm startled when Greg enters my cubicle and knocks on the inner wall, grabbing my attention.

“Hey, I hope you don't mind, Autumn told me you might need some company for lunch. Wanna head over to that pizza place a couple blocks away and grab a slice?” He asks as soon as I turn in my chair.

“Yeah, no problem and thanks, I could use the company. Let me just lock my computer and hit the bathroom.”

We walk together down the hallway in silence and he waits for me while I run into the ladies room real quick to freshen up before leaving the building.

Walking down the sidewalk he offers his apology, “I'm really sorry. If I didn't need that interview so bad I would have never sold you out. I didn't give you a heads up because I didn't want to ruin your plans with your friends. He seems like a nice enough guy and I knew your brothers would be there.”

Greg is a really good looking guy with his short cropped chestnut hair; a small patch of bangs hang in the front that not many people could pull off but it suits him. He seems in great shape if the form fitting shirt he wore to the party says anything, he's definitely sporting a six pack under his dress shirt right now. I've never felt that sort of chemistry with him though, the kind that I have with Julian. The one where all of my nerve endings start to flame up in a raging inferno and the butterflies in my stomach feel like they're engaged in an all out war to break free from me, tearing their way out of my body to be set free.

“No worries Greg. I'm not mad at you. You did what you had to do. I'm over it really. I'm still mad at him though, he has some explaining to do.” When we reach the pizzeria he opens the door for me, ushering me inside.

“So let me guess, Amy was happy with the interview?” I ask, breaking the silence once we take our seats at a table in front of the window so we can people watch.

“That's an understatement. She was ecstatic that I got an interview with Julian Martin. Of course she couldn't help but throw a negative in there since I didn't get any exclusive photos. I can never truly please that woman. I've honestly given up trying.” He picks up his slice and folds it in half down the middle, biting off at least half in one go. I've never seen anyone stuff that much pizza in their mouth at once.