Fighting Control (Bay State Series Book 3) (11 page)

Before any more conversation can be spoken there's a knock on the door and my dad gets up to answer it. Shortly after he leaves the room he returns with two of the officers from last night on his heels. They explain that they're here to look for bugs of any kind that Eric may have used and a shiver runs down my spine at the thought of him in my house.

“Thank you officers, we'll just be in here if you need anything,” my father tells them and returns to my side on the couch. My mother sits to my other side and Julian slides into the chair across from us. “So tell me sunshine. Are you alright? I mean you look fine physically, but you know up here?” He points to his temple indicating that he means mentally and I can't help but smile.

“I think so daddy. It will take some time to get around it but I don't think I'll have any lasting side effects. Eric's very sick right now, that much I'm sure of.”

We sit in silence for a few moments before there's another knock at the door. “Got it,” Frank yells from the hall.

Ashley walks into the living room followed by my freshly showered brother. She looks around the room briefly and lets out a breath she seemed to have been holding before her eyes lock with mine and she runs towards me apologizing about being a lousy friend. What she's going on about I have no idea so I grab her shoulders and give her a little shake.

“What are you talking about Ashley? You're my best friend.”

“I should have come and got you from work. I should have never let you take a cab.” She's crying and I look to my mother for some help here. If I open my mouth I'll just end up joining her in the waterworks.

“Ashley honey, no one blames you. You couldn't have known. Nobody did. It's behind us now,” my mom says, reassuringly.

“Not exactly mom. I have to stand witness at his trial. But you're right. It's not anyone's fault but Eric's. Please don't blame yourself Ashley.”

We all turn our heads in the direction of the front door which has just slammed shut and George freezes on the threshold of the room. His eyes are focused in my direction but it's like he doesn't even see me. Again he's transfixed on my best friend and I swear as soon as all this shit is over I will get to the bottom of this. If I didn't know any better I would think they were a disgruntled couple the way they look at each other.

He catches my curious gaze and looks away, walking over to where Julian's sitting and shakes his hand. They're talking in hushed voices and before anyone has a chance to ask me anymore questions the officers step into the room holding two tiny nondescript pieces of metal.

“We finished our sweep and found these. One was on the outside of your bedroom window, the other outside the kitchen. We're heading to your office now. I have a hunch we'll find more.” The taller of the two says. For the life of me I can't remember his name.

“We'll be in touch Miss Mitchell.” He walks towards me with a small business card in his hand. “Until then if you have any questions or need anything at all don't hesitate to call.” Reading the card, I see that his name his Detective Johnson.

“Thanks, I will,” I tell them and they find their way out, my mother on their heels. I can hear her talking to them in the hall but can't make out what they're saying.

I excuse myself to my room in search of a change of clothes. I need to get away from the topic that I so desperately want to avoid, for as long as I possibly can anyway. I quickly change into a flowing sundress and wedge sandals before making my way into the bathroom to pull my hair into a loose ponytail at the nape of my neck. After applying a light layer of blush, some eyeliner and my favorite peach lip gloss, I head back downstairs.

As I walk into the living room my parents are no longer in the room and George explains that they had to run to store to grab something to make for lunch. “They said something about not having enough to feed everybody and that they'd be right back,” he tells me. Of course, ever the generous hosts.

The CAlm

Julian

I don't miss the tension when George walks into the room. Or should I say stops dead before entering. I follow his line of sight to Ashley. Does he have the hots for Tanya's best friend? That's gotta be awkward.

He recovers quickly, coming to stand next to me. “What's up? How's she doing?”

“Surprisingly well, too well. I'm actually waiting for her to crack. How are you doing?” I direct my gaze to where Ashley's kneeling at Tanya's feet and he shakes his head and a small chuckle leaves his mouth.

“Long story man and one I'd rather not get into now. But I do need advice and I sure as hell can't talk to Frank about it. When I'm ready you'll be the first to know.” And just like that the subject's closed. “So I just got a text from Brent. Sarah wants to have a cookout on Saturday and he figured it would be easier for me to spread the word instead of multiple texts. You in?”

“I don't know. I'll have to check with your sister but it sounds good,” I say in answer.

“Cool. He said to bring our own booze but they have the food handled.”

“I'll probably just grab a six pack. Coach called a meeting for next Sunday and I can't chance a hangover. Believe me, I'm a lightweight. It doesn't take much.”

He looks me over, no doubt taking in my size and I notice Tanya get up and leave the room. “I have a hard time believing that man, you're a tank.”

I can't help but laugh at his assessment. “Dude, trust me. I don't drink much, if any at all. In the past month I haven't even downed a six pack. I like to keep my body in shape.”

“I can tell.” He lets out a snort of laughter and I can tell I'm not going to have a problem getting along with this brother.

I look over at Frank watching us as he talks to his parents. Frank's taken over Tanya's spot on the couch and remains seated as they stand. “We're going to run to the store. I want to fix everyone some lunch. We'll be right back,” Mrs. Mitchell tells the room at large and leaves me alone with her two sons and Ashley who suddenly looks uncomfortable.

She gets up, mumbling something about finding Tanya and flees the room.

Tanya comes back shortly after looking around the room and asks after her parents. George explains that they went to the store and realization dawns on her face that we're minus one. A certain someone that said she was going to look for her. I wonder where Ashley ran off to and I remember the unease in George when he first got here and can't help feel that the two are connected.

Tanya's face scrunches up like she's having the same thoughts as she studies her brother's face for a reaction. She blows out a frustrated huff of air and turns on her heel, mumbling something about finding her infuriating friend.

What is it with girls and their mumbling?

Turning back to George I ask again if there's anything he wants to talk about and again I'm shut down. He did say he'll tell me eventually. I'll just have to call on some patience for now, that is if Tanya doesn't figure it out first.

“What are you two fuckers talking about all secretive over here?” Frank asks as he comes and stands next to us.

“I was just telling him that Brent and Sarah are having a cookout and I've been nominated to invite everyone so consider yourself invited,” George tells his brother, leaving out anything else that includes Ashley.

“It's on Saturday. Sorry I figured I would add that, seeing how your brother's attention seems to be somewhere else.” George glares at me before quickly schooling his features. Whatever's bothering him, he really doesn't want his brother to know. Hmmm? Could there really be something going on with him and Ashley? Tanya would be beyond pissed. Well I hope for his sake it's something else.

“I would have gotten to it. I see him almost every day. Damn. Calm your fucking tits.” Defensive much?

“Why don't you tell me how you really feel,” I say, lightly punching his arm to lighten the tension that's mounted over the past few minutes. I chuckle and listen on as the brothers talk about me and my teammates like I'm not standing right next to them.

“Bathroom?” I ask and excuse myself after Frank explains that it's the last door on the left down the long hallway off of the kitchen.

I pause outside of the second door on the right after hearing a loud shrill expletive followed by even louder crying. Shit this can't be good. The door is yanked inward and if I was leaning on it there's no doubt that I would be doing a face plant right now.

“We're leaving. Now!” Tanya says and grabs my hand, practically dragging me along with her. She storms straight past the living room where her brothers sit and out the front door.

“Are we going to say goodbye?” I ask, my suspicion making itself more plausible with every passing second.

“Nope.” She lets go of my hand and hurries to get into the car. “Just get me the fuck out of here. I'll call my parents later once I cool off.”

She doesn't mutter another word the entire ride and I'm not stupid enough to ask. She'll let it out eventually and I'll be right there to listen. If it's what I think it is she's going to need  an opinion whether she likes it or not. And I really don't think she's going to like mine.

THE STORM

Tanya

I'm seriously trying to process the shit that Ashley just confessed to me.

What the fuck?

Why?

How? When did it start?

The questions inside of my head are going to drive me insane. And honestly I don't think I want the answers. They'll probably, most likely push me over the edge of sanity that I'm barely holding onto with my pinky.

Julian sits quietly in the driver’s seat when he pulls into his garage, not moving a muscle, his jaw twitching, waiting for me to speak. I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it right now but there's no better time than the present. If I let it stew anymore I'll end up pulling my hair out.

“Ashley's been fucking George,” I blurt out, causing him to whip his head in my direction, his eyes bulging wide.

I wait patiently for his response. Anything, but he's just staring at me. Is he waiting for more?

“You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.” He opens his door and comes around to my side, opening mine for me and I climb out to follow him into the house. I throw my purse on his counter and plop my ass down on the nearest stool and my stomach growls, reminding me of our lack of food.

Changing the subject I ask, “Are you hungry?”

“Sure I could go for some food. You want me to cook?” He asks and starts going through the fridge and cabinets looking for ingredients. “I don't have much. We could do a salad,” he offers. I nod my head in agreement, not sure if I could stomach anything heavier.

I'm still in knots over everything with Eric and now this. How much shit can one person handle? Something else suddenly makes its way into my thought process. How close can I honestly get to Julian? What if our jobs are a problem? No one really knows about us but close friends and family. What will his coach say if he learns about us? Not if. When? This realization scares me shitless. I've already developed feelings for him. The thought that we can no longer be together in the long run temporarily takes the forefront and suddenly I'm not so hungry anymore.

“I'm going to take a nap,” I tell him and leave the room. I can feel him hot on my heels.

“I thought you were hungry?” He asks with a concerned expression clouding his handsome features that I'd hoped I would never have to stop looking at. The way my life's been going, everything's going to be ripped away from me, my best friend, my brother, my somewhat respected view of my ex. I can't let this go any further. It will only hurt more later; a whole lot more.

“I'm sorry. I really just need to be alone, maybe when I wake up. Can you leave my salad in the fridge please?” I stroke his face with one hand while leaning in to land a soft kiss on his lips. He deepens the kiss and I have to pull away before this goes any further. “I'll see you in a little while,” I tell him and walk away. Probably for good but he doesn't know it yet.

“Alright babe, I'll be around. Find me when you wake up.” He treats me with that sexy award winning smile that has thousands of females drooling for him and leaves me to myself.

As I'm curled up in his comfortable bed planning my escape, I know that I'll have to wait until he's asleep and then I remember that my car is still at work. Fuck!! I'm going to have to ask him to bring me to get my car. That's just more time that I'm going to spend memorizing his features. In a perfect world we could be together but this world is anything but perfect. Hopefully he's up for the trip when I wake up. I don't want to prolong this any longer than I have to. It's already going to be hard enough as it is.

When I wake up it's dark and I'm alone. I reach my arm up and turn on the lamp on the nightstand. Sitting at its base is a note from Julian letting me know that he's gone to the gym.

I run into the kitchen and grab my phone from my purse, noting the time. His note says he should be home in a couple of hours. He must have just left before I woke up.

Clicking into my contacts I immediately find my go to. Shit, I can't call Ashley. I'm super pissed at her right now. I scroll until I find who I'm looking for and hit the call button. Frank answers on the third ring sounding sleepy. “Hello?”

“Hey can you come get me? I'll give you the address for your phone.”

“Where are you?”

“I'm at Julian's but I want to go home and he's at the gym.”

“Is he going to be pissed at me for picking you up?”

“What the hell Frank, where's your loyalty lie? I'm your fucking sister. Less talk more action. Are you going to come get me or not?”

“Christ Tanya, calm down. What the hell is going on? Why are you getting so defensive? Wait? Are you like leaving him? Shit, I don't know. He's gonna be so pissed. He's got it bad for you, you know?”

“I know. That's the problem. Now please hurry and I'll explain on the way home.” After giving him the address he tells me he'll be here within an hour. That should give me plenty of time before Julian gets home.

When I get in Franks car I ask, “Hey do you mind taking me to my car? It's still at the office. If not I can have Mom bring me tomorrow.”

“I don't mind but you're forking over some damn gas money. This isn’t a taxi service.”

“You're such a big brat. How about we stop and I buy you a couple beers. I could use a drink right about now and we can talk.”

“Works for me, anywhere you want to go?”

“As long as there's booze I couldn't care less,” I tell him as he drives down the street away from Julian's house.

Headlights blind my vision as Julian's car drives in the other direction and my sight clears long enough to see him looking in my direction. I can only pray that he didn't notice me. My nerves are on edge as we leave his community and just as I release the breath of air I was holding, headlights are riding our ass. Shit, shit, fuck. He did see me.

“Is that who I think it is behind us?” My brother asks from his side of the car.

“Yup, sure the fuck is. Dammit, any chance of losing him?”

Frank looks at me with a “are you fucking serious” expression and all of my hope for escape is lost. “What's the problem anyway? You two seem to really like each other.”

“That's just the problem. I just know our jobs are going to cause problems for us. I would rather end it now before we're more emotionally invested,” I try to explain the best way I know how but he's not buying it.

“That's bullshit Tanya and you know it. You're making excuses again. If you want to work out, you two will find a way. Now I know he's not going to give up his football career but can you honestly tell me you wouldn't be willing to switch fields if it was the only way you two could be together?” He remains a safe speed the entire way through the city streets, the lights from above revealing his angry expression.

“Why do you care?” I scream at him from my side of the car. My body turned in his direction. “Does it really matter to you that much who I end up with? Or is it because you think you can get perks because your sister's banging a Patriots player?”

“What the fuck? Watch your mouth. You're not a ticket to me. I'm sick and tired of watching you push people away. Hell, we all are. You're so afraid to let anyone in anymore after what happened with Eric in college. I for one am super, fucking ecstatic that you're not with that sick fuck anymore.” He's positively fuming and I guess I never thought about what my isolation did to my brothers.

“You have no idea. I lose everyone Frank. I lost Eric and now I know it was for the better. I've lost Ashley and George.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He cuts me off. “You've lost Ashley and George? What is that even supposed to mean? I'd be lying if I said that I missed the tension earlier, but friends fight sometimes. You girls have been tight forever. I can't see anything that could tear what you two have apart.”

“Just forget I said anything okay? It's not my place to say.”

“Oh no, you're not getting off that easy. Spill it.”

“No. It's none of your business and it's not mine to tell. Drop it.” Crossing my arms like a petulant child, I sit quietly in my seat and stare at the landscape as it flies past me down the highway. I can see the city looming in the distance and I know it won't be long before we pull over and I'm faced with Julian.

I know he won't understand but I have to make him see that we're no good for each other. I love what I do and so does he. There’s no compromise, best to go our separate ways now before we go any further. I can't imagine Braydon or Ilyanna splitting up now or even Sarah and Brent. Rachel and John are married so that would be even worse. God, I don't ever want to get married. That level of commitment is defcon shit for me, never going there. Not now, not ever. I've ridden that ride before and look how fucking fantastic that all went down. It's a good thing it didn't make it to the end.

“Fine, I'll drop it for now,” Franks finally says as he pulls onto the off ramp.

As soon as he finds a parking spot at the bar he cuts the engine and turns to me. “I'll be inside. You two need to talk. Seriously Tanya, think about this before you make any rash decisions.”

I quietly nod my head as a single tear rolls down my cheek. A sharp tapping on my window makes me jump and I look up into Julian's stormy face. The expressions on it sending a chill down my spine and I roll the window down wanting to stay in the safety of the car.

“What the fuck Tanya? Why did you leave? Were you even going to tell me?” I'm silent for so long that he slams his hand onto the car frame before continuing. “Did I do something to piss you off? I told you I'd give you space. I went to the gym and on my way home I see you leaving with Frank. Don't you think you owe me an explanation?”

“I don't owe you anything,” I whisper.

“What was that?”

“I said I don't owe you anything,” My voice a little stronger this time. I just need to stand my ground. “My life is fucked up right now, trust me, you don't want to be part of it.”

“Why don't you let me decide that, I have no idea why you feel that way, but you're wrong. I really like you and I think we could have something special. If you ask me, I think you're running.”

“I didn't ask you Julian. This is my decision. Everything in my life's been turning to shit.”

“And you think we will?” He asks and I nod in agreement. “This is bullshit Tanya and you know it. You know where to find me. I'm not going to stand here and argue with you. Hopefully you'll come to your senses soon. This thing with Ashley and George will blow over eventually. Just remember when it does I'll be waiting. If you need to talk call me, I'm a good listener.”

“Thank you for not making this harder than it needs to be,” I tell him as he walks away.

He turns briefly, hurt deepening his features. “This is plenty hard Tanya, but go ahead and keep fooling yourself that anything worth having is easy. Let's see how far that gets you.” And with that he's gone.

I take a few minutes to clean myself up before joining Frank inside. It takes me no time at all to find him chatting up some redhead at the bar. The minute he spots me he sends her away and pats the stool that she was just occupying.

“Forget getting my car. I need to get fucking wasted.” Frank looks over at me before signaling the bartender. I drink tequila shots until I can't feel my limbs and I vaguely remember being cut off before my head hits my pillow and I pass the fuck out.