Fighting Ever After (Ever After #3) (17 page)

“Ky?” she
whispered.

“Yeah, I’m
here Princess. I’ve got you.”

“I’m really
glad you’re here.” Her words reached inside me and did something.

 “Me
too,” I whispered back. I knew I wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding my
emotions, but I didn’t care at the moment.

 “You
okay Jazz?”

“I’m not
sure if I am, Bas.” Her voice was ragged.

“I know
Jazz. I know. But you’ll get there,” he reassured her. Her head tilted up and I
felt her tense when she took in everyone around her, watching. I shot Ace a
look and he got the hint. He pulled Spade along with him, who muttered, “Why is
that guy still breathing?” before they made it inside. Everyone else followed
them to give Jax her space, until Bas and I were the only two sitting there
with her.

“I’d like to
know the answer to that myself,” I said.

“I’ll let
her explain, if she wants to.” He gave her a look I couldn’t read and then
grabbed her hand, squeezing it before leaving the two of us alone. She started
to get up, but I held her in place.

“You’re
staying with me Princess,” I told her softly but firmly.

“What do you
want from me?” she snapped and I’ll admit it hurt a little to have her lash out
at me, even though I knew she was just emotional.

“I don’t
want anything from you.” I didn’t deserve any part of her, but I was trying my
damndest to help her and I knew a thing or two about bottling shit up. “You
need to get it out though. You’ve got so much pain inside of you. You need to
talk about it. They’re just words now and they can’t hurt you, but keeping them
inside is going to rip you apart. Trust me.”

“I don’t
know if – if I can,” she faltered.

“Here, come
with me.” I lifted her off my lap and stood, holding my hand out for her to
take. I wouldn’t force her, I couldn’t, but I wanted her to know that she could
trust me, that I wanted to be there for her. She could say no and go inside,
but I really didn’t want her to. Relief, and something else, soared inside of
me when her hand reached out and grasped mine.

“Whatever
you tell me Princess, I promise I can handle it. It won’t change anything.” I’m
not sure how long we’d been sitting there, under the gazebo behind the house,
her in my lap, silent except for her breathing. She was struggling and scared,
but I could be patient. It might not be my strong suit, but for her – right now
I would do just about anything, including wait however long she needed.

“Why are you
doing this?” She finally asked. “Why do you want to know so badly? It’s not
pretty. You’ve already seen the scars and you saw what happened to me out there
just remembering it. You should leave it alone. You don’t want to know more,
trust me. I wish I could forget it.”

“I’m so
sorry. I wish I could take away your pain, but I can’t. I’m not a hero or a
prince. I’m not even a good guy, but I can’t shut this off, this ache in my
chest. When I’m around you, I feel things that I don’t want to. It’s killing me
that you’re hurting right now. The asshole in me wants to just walk away and
pretend I can ignore it, just forget about you and what you do to me, but I
can’t,” I admitted truthfully.

She was quiet a minute before she exhaled a heavy breath,
“The
first day I moved into my dad’s house was the same day I met Connor,” I began.
“I was barely twelve and he was sixteen. Even then, I felt that something
wasn’t right. I don’t know if it was in his eyes, or just a gut feeling, but I
knew that he was rotten to the core. Unfortunately, the second he laid eyes on
me, he decided I was his. He used to watch me all the time. I would get chills
and know that he had just entered a room.”

“You said
his father works with your dad?”

“Yes, but it
was more than that. My father was grooming him and Shane to take over his
business one day. My father was pleased that Connor was so taken with me and he
encouraged it. My dad thought that if one day he could marry me off to that
psycho, then all of the business would stay in the family. It would also ensure
that I was kept in line. It didn’t matter to him that I wanted nothing to do
with Connor. He didn’t listen when I told him that I was afraid of Connor, and
as I got older it just got worse. What my father wants, he gets, except when it
came to me. I defied him at every opportunity and he relished in making me pay
for it. That’s who he is, what he does.”

I got this
feeling that everything she had been telling me was leading to this. Connor was
just one piece of the puzzle, and I was already putting together how bad it
was, but her dad; he was the missing piece. I knew everything was about to get
much clearer. Her body stiffened and her voice wavered, but she didn’t stop.

“The reason
I don’t talk about my dad, the reason Bas and Chris won’t tell you guys
anything, isn’t just because my dad is a jerk or a bad father. He’s the most
notorious man in Boston. He used to be a street boss for the Irish mob, but now
he runs a multibillion dollar corporation and calls himself a businessman. Most
of Boston still thinks of him as ‘Mad Jack’ Malloy, even though the feds
couldn‘t actually get anything to stick to him when they took down the heads of
the organization. That was before I went to live with him.”

Holy shit.

My ears
stopped hearing anything after she said ‘Mad Jack Malloy.’ She wasn’t exaggerating
when she said he was the most notorious man in Boston.

“Shit,
Princess. Jack Malloy is your father?”
How could that even be possible?

“Yes. The
man responsible for countless dead bodies buried or sunk who knows where. The
man who helped fill the streets with drugs, prostitution and weapons, but now
owns half the major businesses in Boston, from hotels and restaurants to clubs
and manufacturing companies.
The man who handed his own
daughter over to a violent psychopath.”
The last part was barely a
whisper. I knew she was telling the truth, nobody would make this shit up, but
I still couldn’t believe it. Jack Malloy was one of those names that you heard
and then wished you hadn’t, like the fucking boogeyman. It didn’t matter that
he’d supposedly gone legit years
ago,
everyone knew
that was a crock of shit. He was still as dirty as the Charles River. It didn’t
seem possible that this sweet, perfect girl in my arms was one of his
offspring.

As hard as
it was for me to grasp what she was saying, I knew there was more. She wasn’t
done, and she’d come this far. She needed to get everything out, and I’ll admit
I was still curious as hell.
Now more than ever.
“Tell
me. You’re doing so good, just let it all out. Tell me what happened.”

“It was
Valentine’s Day my senior year. My father told me I had to stay home. He was
punishing me for sneaking out the night before to watch
Vi
perform in the school musical, and going to the cast party with her afterward.
Shane caught me sneaking back in and
ratted
me out. I
knew better than to fight my dad on it. It was a much milder punishment than
usual. Besides, it was Valentine’s Day and it wasn’t like I had anywhere to be.
Bas and
Vi
were both seeing someone so they had plans,
and I was flying solo.

“I came
downstairs to find the house empty except for Connor. He had a fancy candlelit
dinner set up and roses all over the place.
Seeing him
waiting for me, made me sick to my stomach.
I don’t know what he had
been thinking. That I would just walk in, see it all and have a change of heart
and suddenly fall all over him, but when that didn’t happen, he lost it. I
tried to get away from him, but he was on me faster than I could make it to the
door. I fought him, but he struck me across the face and then he dragged me out
of the house and toward the back of the property.” She trembled in my arms, and
though I couldn’t see her tears because her back was to my chest, I knew they
were there. I could feel each one like they were being wrung from my own body.

“My dad’s
place sits on almost twenty acres, so he took me, kicking and screaming, way
back where no one would hear me. Not that there was anyone around to hear
anyway. He threw me down on the ground and then kicked me in the ribs so that I
couldn’t get up and try to run. I begged and pleaded for him to stop, but he
only laughed. He told me that I was his and that it was time for me to accept
that. I would always be his and he would never let me go. I was sure that he
was going to kill me out there and bury my body. I had never been so scared in
my entire life.” Each word that came from her lips, twisted the knife deeper
into my chest. Her pain and her fear absolutely gutted me. It hadn’t hurt this
bad when my mom told me Elaina was gone and not coming back. I didn’t want to
hear anymore, but this wasn’t about me.

 
“I tried to crawl away but he just kicked me
again and that time I felt and heard my ribs crack. I thought it was the worst
pain I would ever feel, but I was wrong. He stood over me and started undoing
his belt and pants, and then I really did wish he would just kill me.”
Everything inside of me chilled and I don’t even think I was breathing. I
wasn’t sure I could handle actually hearing this.

“He got on
top of me. I was wearing a skirt, it had ripped at some point and he pushed it
up over my hips. I couldn’t stop him.” Every other word was choked out between
sobs and she was doubled over on my lap, her arms wrapped so tightly around
herself that I could see her fingers digging into her own sides.

“He pulled
out a knife and I prayed it would be over quickly.”
Fuck.
“He dug the
knife into my leg and ran the blade up the inside of my thigh then across my
pelvic bone, cutting away the edge of my underwear. The pain of the knife
cutting into my skin was a hundred times worse than the kick to the ribs. He
did the same thing on the other side and then moved up to my stomach. At that
point my throat burned from screaming, but I didn’t stop trying to fight him.
Next, he used the knife to cut through my shirt and leave a bloody trail all
the way- well you’ve seen the giant scar.” Yes I had, but hearing her tell me
about the pain that was inflicted upon her was so much worse than just seeing
the evidence.

“The pain
was so bad that I thought I was going to pass out. He just laughed some more
and told me how beautiful my body was and that he was going to play with it all
night. He made more shallow cuts across my stomach just for fun.” Her last
words were almost inaudible as a strangled whimper escaped her.

“Did he . .
.?” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words, and then I wasn’t really sure if
I could stand to hear them anyway. “You don’t have to tell me, Princess.
If he did.”
I wasn’t sure what I would do with that information
anyway, but it wouldn’t be good. When she started to speak again, I couldn’t
move or even breathe until she finished, all the while desperately hoping that
this story didn’t have the ending I was sure it did.

“After he
cut me, I knew he was going to. I closed my eyes because I couldn’t watch. He
started . . . touching me. I closed my eyes tighter, trying to make it all go
away, and then it was strange, instead of terror I . . . it’s hard to describe,
but the only word that fits is peace. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace
come over me. For a second I thought that maybe I had died, that the cuts were
even deeper than I’d realized and I’d bled out. Then I felt Connor still above
me and knew I hadn’t died, but still I wasn’t afraid anymore. It was like
someone was holding me and whispering that it was going to be okay, that I
wasn’t going to die. I just held on to that feeling and tried to bury myself in
it. I didn’t even realize when Connor’s weight wasn’t on me anymore. The next
thing I can actually remember is Bas putting me in his car.”

I was
confused. None of that made sense. “So he did?” 

Her head
shook back and forth. “No. He didn’t,” I breathed a sigh of relief and
disbelief. I didn’t understand how, but I’d never been so thankful in my entire
life to hear the word no. “What he did was awful and I felt so disgusting for
weeks, but he didn’t actually rape me. He didn’t get the chance. Bas got a bad
feeling on his date. He tried to call me and when I didn’t answer, he knew
something was wrong.
He went over to my house. When he
checked inside and found it empty with signs of a struggle and the back door
wide open, he came looking for me.
He said that he just knew I was out there, and
when he got closer he heard me scream. He got there in time and stopped him.” I
couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for him to find her, but I was
thanking God that he had, and I’d never thanked God for a damn thing in my
entire life that I could remember.

“Bas would
have killed him then and there, but he saw all the blood and knew he had to get
me out of there. When I came around and realized that I was safe, I refused to
let him take me to a hospital. The cops would have been called, and if Bas told
them what had happened, it would have gotten him killed. I couldn‘t let that
happen.”

All I could
think is that I would have killed him. Somewhere inside of me, it made sense
why she wouldn’t call the cops then and why Chris wouldn’t let me the other
night. Her dad was fucking Jack Malloy, but none of that would have stopped me.
I would have beaten the ever-loving shit out of Connor until he wasn’t
breathing and then I would have gone for her father. Part of me now was raging
that I should go do exactly that. None of it could erase what happened or take
away her pain. Nothing could ever make that right, but still I wanted to make
someone pay. Hell I wanted to make everyone pay. Someone should have protected
her. It was a miracle that she was here with me now, but it wasn’t enough and I
couldn’t even begin to imagine how she lived with it, how she coped with any of
it.

“That’s why
you ran away, left Boston?”

“That’s part
of it, or maybe most of it. I think that even if it hadn’t happened, eventually
I still would have left, but that night just sped up the timetable. I’m still
not sure exactly what I felt that night, or how Bas knew I was in trouble. I
don’t know much about religion or God, but I know that someone saved me that
night. My mom had faith and she would tell me stories from her Bible. I think
when I was younger, I believed, but then when she died I was just so angry and
hurt that I didn’t care much whether He was real or not.

“I’m still
not certain about a lot of it, but I don’t have any other explanation for that
night. It made me feel like it wasn’t too late for me. That someone thought I
deserved another chance. That maybe I was worth saving. It was the first moment
since the day I found out my Mom was going to die, that I remembered what hope
was. I couldn‘t let anyone or anything take that from me, so I took the only
way out I saw, the first chance I got.” She was so brave. More of a fighter
than I had even realized. I could hear the shame in her voice. It was clear
that she believed she was a coward for running, but she was anything but. She
fought to hang on to life and she pulled herself out of the darkness. She did
what she had to do, and now here she was; a better person than I would ever be,
yet she’d been through so much. I knew she carried more than just the visible
scars on her body, but she still found reasons to smile. She was still so kind
and gentle. She loved her friends and family so deeply, and she was even able
to let me in. That just blew me away. I couldn’t even find the words to say to
her. I had none, but how could I have ever thought that I deserved to touch
someone like her? I was sickened and angry at myself, and here I was holding
her, letting her cling to me like a life raft in this storm, but I couldn’t
save her. I would just drag her down with me.