Fighting To Stay (2 page)

Smiling, Garrett looks at me and says, “That’s the Donna I remember.”

Hopping down from the examination table, I grab my purse off the chair and toss the strap on my shoulder. After setting the biopsy appointment for tomorrow, I walk from the office and head to my car. Once behind the wheel, the force of the tension builds even more as I put the car into reverse.

“I need to do something tonight to keep my mind off things,” I mumble to myself.

When I arrive home, I see Vince’s car in my parking spot. No matter what, the man will never park in guest parking because he cannot put that much dirt on his shoes. Rolling my eyes as I remember the conversation over him getting his precious shoes dirty. Why am I still with him, I’m just not sure at the moment.

Walking the three flights of stairs gives me far too much time to think. Vince and I have been together for a year now. We met when I was picking up an order for my brother and sister from the restaurant. They came into town to help me move. The restaurant messed up part of my order that left me waiting there for ten minutes. He talked to me the whole time. As I was going to leave, he asked me out on a date. Josh and Hailey made me accept it. Hailey even called and pretended to be me.

He was not all bad in the beginning, but as time has moved forward, the more he has lapsed in how he cares for me. Vince is one of those dreamer types. He wants to be rich and famous, but when it comes down to working for it... forget it—he will not do it. Cropped hair, loaded in hair gel, brown eyes, medium height with a meaty build. He wasn’t built, but he worked out. He is really an average man. What attracted me to him was how attentive he was to me.
Was
is the operative word now, of course.
Now
, all he wants is to get rich without actually having to do anything for it. Getting something for nothing is all he wants.
Lazy
—sums it up.

“Where have you been?”

“The doctor’s office. When did you get here?”

“An hour ago. Did the doctor figure out what’s going on?” Vince snips, not looking away from the television.

“Yeah. I need you to take me to the hospital tomorrow. They are doing a biopsy to check to see if the lump they found is cancerous or not. Can you take me?”

He sits up and stares at me for a moment. “Yeah, but you’ll be buying me something to eat while I wait for you.”

How did I know he was going to tell me that?
“Actually, never mind. I’m going to call Hailey or Josh to take me. I’m sure they’d have no problem helping me.”

Vince stands from the couch. “I said I’d take you.”

Forcing a smile on my face, I walk over to him and pat his arm. “It’s okay. I haven’t seen my brother or sister in a while. I miss them. It will be great to see what is going on in their lives.”

I hear a loud growl coming from within him. Then the next sound is the crack and crumbling of my drywall, which always follows. Vince's agitation level is quick to spike. This is so routine now that I don’t even flinch this time. I’m not sure what his deal is this time, but I’m sure I’m about to find out.

“Why do you always have to turn to those bastards rather than me,” he roars.

Turning slowly, I point a finger in his chest. “They are
not
bastards! They are my siblings. I turn to them because they are my family.”

“And I’m not,” he snaps behind me.

“No, you’re not,” I say softly before closing myself in the bathroom.

Staring in the mirror, I really look at myself. Vince cannot
even
register on my worry radar now. In addition, I will not let the possibility of having cancer enter my mind. I’m too young for this to actually be happening. Shaking my head, it is
not
cancer. It
is
a boil. Yep, that is what it is—a freaking boil. That is the only acceptable diagnosis.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I call Josh and hope that he’s not busy.

“Boogaleezoo, long time no talk to,” he teases with his little nicknames he gives.

“I know. I’m so sorry. Things have been crazy around here.”

“Oh yeah,” he says sounding irritated. “How’s Mr. Crazy?”

Josh has never liked Vince. He always thought I could do better, but that’s what a brother is supposed to think. Well, that’s what I thought when he first voiced his opinion. I am unsure now, he may be right. Vince has been off. There’s no romance left. He was such an attentive and romantic man when we met. Now, not so much.

“He’s…” I am not sure how to answer the question. “I called to ask a favor of you,” I say instead of answering the question.

“Sure, Sis, you know I’ll do anything in the world for you.”

Now here comes the part that I dread. “I need you to take me to the hospital tomorrow at nine in the morning. Would you be willing to do that for me?”

There is a long pause and I have to pull my phone away from my ear to make sure that he is still on the line. The more the silence last on the line, the more nervous I become.

“Josh? If you can’t take me that’s fine, I can have Vince or Hailey do it.” I fidget.

“No,” he practically yells. “No, I can do it, but I need to know… did Vince…”

“Oh, God, no. No, I have to have a test done. They just said it is recommended I not drive.”

“A test… Donna, what aren’t you telling me?”

Getting irritated, I snap at him. “Just don’t worry about it. I will see you here at eight. Love you.”

Hanging up the phone, I sit on the edge of the tub.
Lord, please let this be nothing. Hurting my siblings is not an option. We’ve lost enough. I can't put them through anything else.
Just the thought of hurting them cuts me to the core. Swiftly, I wipe the stray tear away.

Right on the dot, Josh pulls in front of my apartment. Today, I waited for him to arrive out front. After last night, Vince probably would have made today so much harder on me than it already is. He was so mad last night. Thankfully, like normal, I made him supper and he turned all lovey dovey again—imagine that. You give a control freak what they want, and then they transform.

When Vince is all lovey, I remember why I have been with him. He could make me feel so damn special. Last night, I needed that. I’m freaking out a bit. Trying my hardest not to think about it, but it isn’t working. My mind keeps wandering back to those thoughts of 'what if.'

“Hey Sis.”

“Morning. Let’s get this done and over with.”

Josh gives me a hug and holds me tighter than he normally does. “Yeah, sure.”

My brother is worried about me, but he doesn’t need to. He needs to focus on himself. I’ll be fine.

The drive to the hospital is long and quiet. This isn’t normal for my brother. Normally, he’s poking me in the sides, talking in a funny voice, or chatting about this woman that he’s met online. There is nothing today.  That worries me. He’s focusing too much on me, I know him.

Looking over at him, I am noticing all his signs, the chewing on his mustache, the shaking of his leg, and the quietness. It is killing him that I am not telling him anything. Honestly, though, there is just nothing to tell right now.

My brother is extremely handsome. He reminds me a lot of our Dad. His dark hair, a little on the longer side, hazel eyes, broad shoulders and bright smile, he will definitely make someone very happy one day. I often call him a bear.

“How’s Pollyanna doing?” I ask unable to stand the silence any longer.

“Good, I think. We haven’t talked in a couple days. She’s dealing with a family emergency.”

“Oh.”

Well, that didn’t work. Thankfully, we pull into the parking lot and I gather my purse and climb from his truck. It was our Uncle’s truck. They had two vehicles between him and my aunt that they were selling. Hailey bought one and Josh bought the other. I didn’t need one. Unlike my siblings, I live in town and can get wherever I need to go on the bike or moped. Though I do own a car, I only drive it when the weather is too crappy to use either of my other modes of transportation.

Yesterday, I drove my car because I just had that feeling in my stomach that I’d want the stability of four wheels rather than two. Though I wish I had rode my bike there, it would have given me more time to think.

After checking in, I start filling out the paperwork. My brother sat next to me. He still isn’t really talking. Maybe it is because I yelled at him yesterday. It wasn’t on purpose. I just have a lot on my mind. I know if I try to explain that to him, then he’d need to know what is going on. I’m not ready to tell them that yet.

“Donna Bryner?”

“Yes,” looking up from my paperwork.

“We can take you back now. You’ll have time to finish your paperwork back here if you aren’t finished yet,” the nurse explains.

“Oh, okay.” Turning, I face my brother. “I’ll be back in a bit. Here’s twenty dollars, go ahead and get yourself something on me.”

Making a move to stand, Josh surprises me as he stands with me and hugs me tightly. “I love you,” he whispers.

Teary eyed, I look up at my brother. “I love you too. See you soon.” Forcing my best smile for his benefit, I grab my purse and follow the nurse into the back.

I follow the nurse to an empty room. To keep myself from thinking too much, I went back to work on the mundane paperwork. It is just enough to keep me from overthinking everything.

A few minutes later and I am done. Setting it on the stand next to me, I fold myself in half with my head resting on my knees.

“Donna,” the deep raspy voice fills my ears.

Looking up at Garrett, I plant another fake smile on my face. “Hello, Dr. Hepner.”

“Ouch, that hurts,” he smiles. “This beautiful woman only sees me as a doctor,” he holds his hand to his chest in a playful gesture.

For the first time since being at the doctor yesterday, I smile a real smile and laugh slightly.

“Ah, that’s better. I don’t like fake smiles on you,” he smirks.

Garrett could always make me smile no matter what, but he also knew when I was faking them too.

“Thank you, I needed that. How long will this take?”

He sits in the chair across from me. “Not long at all. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I thought a familiar face that cares about you would help ease the nerves. You’ll be out before you even realize it.”

“Am I going back now?”

“If you’re ready to, yes.”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

His smile widens, “Good. Let’s go my warrior princess.”

“If you say so,” I say wearily.

Waking in the recovery area, I see my brother sitting next to my bed talking with Dr. Hepner. Clearing my throat, they both look at me. An instant smile breaks across my brother’s face and I’m just as shocked to see it on Garrett’s face as well.

“Welcome back, Sis,” Josh says.

“Hey,” I croak. “You’re not still mad at me?”

“Never. You know I love you.”

“You’re just saying that because I won’t remember you said it,” I joke.

Looking at my brother, I can see the worry in his eyes. It kills me that I had to call him, but Vince really grated my nerves and I didn’t want him being here today. I hope that he is in a better mood when I get back home today.

“Don’t worry about me, Joshy. I’m in good hands,” I smile at Dr. Garrett.

“That you are, even if I have to say so myself.”

“Okay, little lady. You’ve been given the all clear,” Josh says a few moments later.

Dr. Garrett talks me through the waiting period and what to watch for, but for the most part, there is nothing drastic to be aware of happening. Mainly soreness is the only thing that I can feel at the moment.

When we pull up outside of my apartment, I didn’t see Vince’s car, which makes me feel a bit of relief. There is a tension between my brother and I, which is unusual for us. We are like two peas in a pod. Well, three peas because of our sister Hailey.

“Can you tell me what’s going on yet?”

“I will when I know. I’ll call you and Hailey both when I do.”

“Do you understand that my mind is running through possibilities of what this is all about and it’s driving me insane?”