Finally Heaven (Room 103 Book 4) (12 page)

“Fuck!” I breathed as I palmed her face, her sorrow devastating me. “Never!”

“But… what exactly was I then if you’re gay?”

“I’m not gay, Ink. I’m bi.”

She scoffed and shrugged out of my hold. Her body was taunting me, the towel teasing as her incredible legs brought memories of them wrapped around my waist.

“No, if you were bi you would have told me. I was open with you about my sexuality. You knew I was bi, hell, we even played around in groups. Well at least I now know why I was never good enough!”

“Will you stop!” I screamed at her, making her stiffen. “This,
THIS
is why I never told you. I - am - bisexual… okay, I admit it. But you, you’re capable of living with just a man. I’m not able to do that, just stay with one. I can’t commit, Zoe, I can’t give you all of me.”

Her tears were fluent, streams running down her face as my words broke her even more. I stepped towards her and slid my hand over her face, cupping her cheek. She hiccupped, pushing her skin into mine, connecting with me finally.

“You know,” she whispered as she placed her hand over mine. “Before… I would have accepted that and I would’ve consented to what you needed.”

My eyes widened on her. “What? Are you saying what I think you are?”

She shrugged. “I loved you. I would have given you anything so long as you were happy. I could have coped with that, fuck, maybe I would have enjoyed that side of things.”

She gripped my fingers and moved them away from her face. “But now, now it’s not about that anymore. I trusted you. I’m not important enough for you to share that side of yourself with me. And that’s what hurts, Daniel. Not that you’re bi because quite frankly, that doesn’t make a speck of difference to me. It’s the fact that you have lied to me for so many years, made me feel inadequate, lacking somehow in that I was never enough for you. You even blamed me for our break up because of Jakob! Fuck! Three years, Daniel. Three fucking years. And yet I have to find out from the tabloids.”

I didn’t know what to say, because she was right. I should have trusted her, she was the only one who had ever really understood the real me, and she’d loved me with all my faults. And I’d ruined that, I’d taken what she had been willing to give and I’d shattered it, broken her trust and hurt her with it.

“I want you to go.”

I knew she had said what she needed. She held herself straight, her wet eyes secured on mine proudly.

I nodded, swallowing the lump of agony that was trying to tear my chest in two. The walk down the hallway took forever yet at the same time, not long enough.

“When do you leave for Miami?” I asked before I stepped through the door, turning to find her watching me from the space at the end.

“A while.”

“How long is a while?”

She sighed as if irritated. “A couple of months.”

I nodded slowly. “Promise me you’ll at least come say goodbye before you go.”

She hesitated, her shoulders rolling as though she was fighting with herself. The way she held onto the wall when her legs trembled tortured me. I had well and truly fucked up. I was guilty of pushing her away for so long and now, now I’d foolishly ruined the only good thing I’d ever had in my life.

“We’ll see.”

I stepped through the door, my heart crumbling inside. But I turned back, needing to say one last thing. “I came to be open with you. And I need to do that. Secrets have destroyed both of us, well its time I told you the final one.”

She blinked at me, a river of tears collecting in her eyes as she tried to hold onto them for a moment longer. “I love you, Zoe. I always have. And through my own stupidity I have lost you.”

The tears now stormed her face as she leant into the wall, her shoulder thumping heavily with the impact. Her whole body was vibrating as she fought to keep herself together, but she did. I secretly hoped she would break, fall to the floor and beg me to stay. But she didn’t. She just nodded stiffly.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I closed the door behind me, wincing at the thud of her body hitting the floor before the door had even closed properly behind me.

ALL EYES, SNIGGERS included, followed me across the floor. No one approached me, even Trev and Felix the security guy’s had the initiative to move out of my way, their looks sympathetic but supportive.

Henry’s eyes shot up when I slammed open his office door, the handle bouncing off the wall with a loud crack, leaving a hole in the cheap plasterboard wall. Graham, the fuckwit entertainment editor, briskly packed up the items strewn across the desk, shovelling various papers into a manilla envelope when he spotted me.

“Oh no!” He tried to pull the file back when I grabbed it, but the swift punch to the side of his head, dropping him to the floor instantly allowed me to take it back.

Tipping the envelope upright over the desk my stomach sank with the dozen photographs that scattered across the surface. I picked up a couple, nodding reverently at the perfection of the images. My head cocked when I studied a particular one. “Well this one was a bit too risqué to use,” I laughed bitterly. “Tell me,” I turned back to Graham. “Keeping these ones for your own pleasure were you?”

“Fuck you, you faggot.”

His nose exploded under the shock of my heel in his face, blood splattering across his ugly face.

“Bloody hell!” Henry bellowed, finally rising from his seat to peer over the desk at Graham. I pointed a finger to the arsehole that had written the huge front page article.

“Touch me again and I’ll break every fucking bone in your body.”

His eyes widened on me but he was wise enough to stay put.

“Why?” I asked Henry, finally confronting the main man I wanted. “I’ve worked here, loyal to you and only you, for over fifteen years. I was sixteen, a fucking tea maker when I first started. I looked up to you. Why? WHY?”

He flinched, the intensity of my fury rightfully terrifying the old fucker; if he wasn’t in his sixties I’d have beat the bastard to a pulp. “Nick…”

“You do realise this is privacy invasion. I can close you down for this!”

He sat back down, his eyes closing briefly before he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk and looking up at me. “They gave me no choice, Nick. They threatened to shut me down.”

“Who?” He didn’t answer. “WHO?”

He jolted, screwing up his face but shook his head. “It’s done now, I’m so sorry.”

“That’s not good enough. Why are they hell bent on destroying Romeo’s career? At least tell me that.”

His eyes flicked from me to Graham. “Get out.” Graham didn’t hesitate, he shot up and practically ran from the room. Coward. “Shut the door.”

I did as he asked and turned back to him.

“It’s not Romeo in particular. They’re just using his status to take the heat for all of this. It could have been anyone but because he had connections with Penelope McIntyre that makes him a prime candidate.”

I palmed his desk, leaning towards him. “Henry, just tell me what the hell is going on.”

He shook his head, the tip of his tongue swiping at his bottom lip nervously. “I can’t, Nick, I’m sorry.”

The contents of his desk smashed against the floor to ceiling window when my arm swiped across it in anger. “You stitched me up to save your own skin. You know Romeo will blame me for this. Not that you fucking care about anyone so long as your palm is being filled with cash.”

“Nick…”

“Don’t bother!” I threw my journalist ID badge at him. “Fuck your job and fuck you. I’ll see you burn for this, Henry. I’m bringing you down, every single one of you who is involved in this shit!”

He was still shouting me as I left the building. I needed to find Romeo. I’d gone to the hotel earlier but he’d checked out. I only had his phone number, which he’d declined every single one of my calls, and I had no idea where he lived. But I knew someone who did.

SHE LOOKED NERVOUS when I opened the door, her cheeks blushing furiously, her gaze refusing to find mine. I knew she was picturing the front page pic of Romeo and me. “Yes, my body is as perfect as it looks in the paper, Zoe.”

She looked at me quizzically, then giggled when I winked at her. “Of course it is,” she mocked.

“Come in.” I moved aside letting her slide past me. Her scent assaulted me, my dick coming to life instantly. Shit! What the hell was it about her that caused a shift in my pants every time she was near? “Thank you for coming.”

She nodded. “Well we need to sort this out before I leave.”

I frowned at her, tipping my head as I took her coat and hung it on the hook. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, Miami. I’ve been offered a job, and it’s the right time in my life to accept.”

“Oh.”

She looked sad for a moment, her throat bobbing when she swallowed deeply. She followed me through to the kitchen. “I’m afraid I’ve got you here under false pretences.” Her brow lifted, worry crossing her face as I filled the kettle. I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Nothing like that. It’s rather delicate but I have a feeling I can trust you.”

She sighed loudly. “I take it you want me to talk to Romeo?”

“Yes,” I answered directly, “But not for the reason you think.”

I placed her cup in front of her and proceeded to fill her in.

“So, now you know and I have no idea how to get hold of him or that he’ll even talk to me.”

She nodded but shifted nervously. “Nick…” She grimaced and rolled her shoulders. “There’s…
stuff
between Romeo and me that makes it really awkward for me to help you.”

“Stuff?”

She appeared conflicted for a moment but I nodded, encouraging her to trust me. “We… well we seem to be hell bent on hurting each other, just put it that way.”

“Ahh.” Everything slotted into place. “You’re the woman he’s in love with.”

Her eyes widened on me. “He told you that?”

“Yeah, but he didn’t tell me who you were, just that he was in love with someone, a woman.” I shifted across the table, sitting beside her and taking her hand. “Please, Zoe. This is important, he thinks I did this but I was being stitched up too. He needs to know I would never do that. He needs to know that his life is about to be turned upside down. I like him, maybe… maybe a bit more than like.” I shrugged, feeling awkward telling her that when it was so obvious she was in love with Romeo.

She smiled softly, “I can see that.” I smiled back, appreciating her compassion. “And I have a feeling Romeo feels the same way.” Pain filtered across her face for a moment before she pushed it back and forced a smile again.

“What happened between you two?”

Her eyes dropped to the table, watching her finger run around the rim of her cup. “I’ve been in love with him for over three years. But he couldn’t ever… love me. And now he does, well now it’s too late.”

“It’s never too late. I’m sure you can sort this out.”

She shook her head. A tear rolled down her cheek and she swiped at it angrily. “No. I’m a mother now. Too many things have passed and to be honest, he says he loves me, but he could never be with
just
me. He needs more than I can give him and I would never forgive myself for taking that away from him.”

Her eyes lifted to mine when I ran my finger down her nose, catching one of her tears. “You have way more to give than you could ever take away, Zoe.” Time stilled, the air around us stilled. Oxygen suddenly seemed to disappear from the air, making my chest hurt and my mouth dry. Her eyes bore into me, her gaze inquisitive but hesitant as her breathing sped up to match mine. I leaned in a little more, my lips almost brushing hers. My dick pounded when her breath caught and a faint whimper stumbled from her throat.

“I…” she wheezed, her tongue wetting her lips. I almost came just from the soft moan and tease of her tongue. “Nick….”

Fuck it!

Grasping a handful of her long blonde hair, I yanked her face to mine, crashing her lips onto mine. She moaned louder, but grabbed at my t-shirt, bunching the material in her fists as she pulled me towards her. Nipping her bottom lip, ordering her to open for me, she did, slipping her tongue inside my mouth, hunting greedily for me.

I pulled her across the space between us onto my lap. Her legs parted so she could straddle me, her firm tits pushing against my chest as she teased my hair in her fingers.