Finally Heaven (Room 103 Book 4) (32 page)

HEY. YA’ HEAR me?

For a change I have no words.

Sad isn’t it. The end. Hate ends. But I smile, yeah, cos’ well, shit, we did it. We got here. And I know, without ya’ all…

It doesn’t feel like long ago I saw a fresh faced E, her perky little tits covered in just a tiny little bra in Cam’s kitchen. Fuck. Fucking epic tits. She still has them by the way… her tits. Yeah, she’s okay. They removed the lump, she had chemo. Right as shit again. She daren’t leave me alone anyway. Fuck, poor Lily would never grow up right.

Fuck, my heart hurts. Is goodbye supposed to hurt this much?

We’ve all grown up with one another. The journey here has been one that I will never forget. The bumps in the road wouldn’t have given us the ride of our lives if they were flat. That make sense? You know how I struggle with words.

But see this smile. This says it all.

Look at them all, my family. When Mary Ann died, I thought I would never smile again. But those guys, they didn’t give me a choice. They made sure they dragged me through the storm until I saw the sun again. Just as you all have. You’ve taken all of us and nurtured us, made sure we got to where we needed to be.

I think, throughout it all, for all we have lost on this journey, that Room 103 has its own set of angels that guards us. Mary Ann, Kara, E’s mum, Shona… Nick… they all watch over us and make sure our hearts keep beating.

That’s my thoughts anyway.

But now, now it’s time to turn the page and reach the end. But our stories, our lives will continue in every one of you.

None of us will ever forget the first page, the start of our journeys here. And none of us will truly ever let go. Because whenever we want to remember, we can turn to that first page and live it all again. We can laugh, we can cry and we can fall in love all over again.

So, the guys are all here to say goodbye. Queen’s, We Are The Champions is playing on full blast and our glasses are full.

So, raise them in the air. Wipe those tears. And smile.

And altogether.

“To freedom. To friends. And to god damn motherfucking ROOM 103!”

There are so many people I want to thank that there isn’t enough words in the world.

My betas. Vickie, Michelle, Charlie, Di, Ker, Kelly, Di, Terrie and Kim. Room 103 wouldn’t be what it is without you. You smile with me, cry with me and take each word to heart just as I do. Thank you ladies.

To all you Room 103 fans. You have loved the guy’s as I have. You have laughed with them, held their hands and encouraged them, and I just know you will be hurting as much as I am right now. But hopefully, the guy’s will be back with small holiday capers and updates into their lives.

The six friends that are my complete support structure. Vickie, Michelle, Nikki, Kelly, Ker and Debbie. I love every single one of you. Thank you for taking my shit, my tears and my craziness and giving it right back.

To Stacey at Champagne Formatting for doing an awesome job as always.

To my street team, The Kittens, who take time out of your lives to help promote and get me out there.

To my family for feeding me.

To the Oh So Sexy ladies for making every day a good one and giving me many laughs.

And finally, to my children, and very recently my new adorably gorgeous grandson. You give me a reason to breathe and make my heart beat every day. I am so proud of each of you. Life is hard, but as a family, we face it together.

Links

Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/DHSidebottom

Website:
http://dhsidebottom.co.uk

Twitter:
https://twitter.com/DHSidebottom

Amazon page:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/D-H-Sidebottom/e/B00C3ELG1I/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Spotify playlists:
1180393704

Champagne Formats:
https://www.facebook.com/ChampagneFormats?ref=br_tf

Out Now

The Devil visited me three times in my life; albeit, my short life. Not in the physical sense, you must understand, but very much literally.

He was persistent, resolute and tenacious. His ruthless greed to annihilate me was utterly disturbing. I am sure if he had hierarchy, the man at the top would have dragged his arse into Hell’s prison for his unscrupulous methods.

I was just fifteen when I first became aware of what he was capable of. This initial taste of him set the playing field for how my life was to be
lived
– for want of a better word.

He mocked me, showed me mercilessly how he played the game and how he liked to cheat at said game. He ridiculed and taunted me until, six months later, he won and took something of so much importance from me that I would never be the same again.

His second visit was, in my eyes, so much more cruel and heartless. I know we’re talking about the Devil here, and yes, you have a right to say he had no heart but even then, even when I was so utterly broken, I begged to differ and hoped – no, prayed – that somewhere deep in the caverns of his black, tortured soul there was something that beat and confused his emotions once in a while.

The third visit was somewhat different than the other two. He tried, and at first succeeded to bring me to my knees once and for all, but then something happened. God finally intervened and altered Satan’s intention; he sent hope and morphed the Devil’s minion into an Angel, hoping to break and shatter the anguish and suffering. He gave the ability for me to feel pleasure in pain, order in the chaos and light in the darkness.

But in giving me a reprieve, he also gave me something that would finally and ultimately obliterate me. He gave me the capability to love, therefore giving me the ability to be destroyed.

And Satan made sure that I
was
destroyed. Cruelly, viciously and sadistically.

I am Mae Swift, and this is the story of my decimation.

You meet someone. You date. You fall in love. You marry.

The four simple rules of love….

Wrong! I’m married but I’d never met him before now, never dated him, never fell in love. I have no access to the memories of the most magical time of anyone’s life.

My mind won’t allow me to evoke the past, I can’t remember those four simple stages.

I can’t comprehend why I would have ever married someone like Dante. I should never have passed the first stage, although, I may have seen him through the eyes of the woman I once was, this me that lives, breathes here now, can’t understand how we made it to the next stage.

I’m not sure, without memories, how I know that this voice inside me, telling me I would never have chosen him, speaks some truth, I just know. He’s controlling, arrogant, callous and violent, and utterly hell bent on humiliating and degrading me – Like watching me falter, watching me struggle to comply and be the woman he married, powers him- as though he wants to break me piece by piece. Fibre by fibre. Until all that’s here is the shell he created from a soul that I once owned.

Now my memories are slowly returning. And they show me a completely different side to meeting him. Our dates, falling in love. The Dante haunting me in the shadows of my mind is loving, gentle and utterly enamoured with me, nothing like the man with me now.

And this is what taunts me. My tender lover turned into a debauched, cruel sadist who is determined to consume my life, destroy my mind and murder my spirit.

I am, Star, and just like with some stars in the sky, the light you see is an echo, a façade, I am already gone

I am a no one.

Especially to him. To him I am the dark in his desires, the corrupt in his depravity.

The sin in his immorality.

I was invisible, until they saw me...

When circumstance forced me and the Jacob twins to spend two weeks of the summer together, the bond we formed would impact us all, altering our lives.

Fate, entwining us forever.

They became my best friends, my family, my first love.

With their love came their father's hate!

Love is powerful but also painful and destructive when it's torn between three people. When my mother's reputation and their father's vile actions damage that love, that friendship, it changes the dynamics of our trio setting me on a path of love, loss and impossible decisions.

Jared the beautiful rogue, who pushed her limits, opened her eyes and owned her heart. Their love was powerful, everlasting... until he abandoned her. Justin, loyal and true, picked her up when she was left fragmented. He made a place for himself in her heart and would fight to keep it.

When both twins come in and out of Meadows life, leaving damage and hurt in their wake, will she ever choose one or the other, or leave them both without the beats in their heart?...

Buy on
Amazon

Coming Soon

Judgement 8

By D H Sidebottom

Prologue

The edges were blurring, the white at the corner of my eyes closing in. My heart was beating too fast, the thud in my chest crippling me as I struggled to breathe against it.

My skin was over sensitive, the static in the air pulsing around me, the glow almost blinding.