Find You in the Dark (17 page)

 
Clay tried to stifle a huge yawn.  He was looking haggard today.  I reached over and ruffled his hair and he smiled at me.  “You look tired.”  I commented.  Clay rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands and sat up straight, trying to wake himself up.  “It's one of the side effects of my medication. 
Extreme lethargy
.  Sure I'm out  like a brick at night.  But I could probably sleep all day as well.”  He looked at me as if to say,
see, this is why I hate being on medication.

 
Wanting to change the subject, I put the vegetables I was chopping up in the pot on the stove and set it to simmer.  “Come up to my room.  I want to show you this dress.  It's hysterical!”  Clay got to his feet.  He curled his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side.  My breath hitched in my throat.  I always got this way when he decided to be touchy feely.  Which was a lot more frequently now, I noted with giddiness. 

  “
Your bedroom, huh?  You sure you want me up there?”  His voice was husky and I had to stop myself from shivering.  Damn straight I wanted him in my room.  I wanted him in my room, naked, and in my bed, preferably. 

 
I flushed at my rated R thoughts.  I gave him a playful shove.  “Just come on.”  I tried to affect a playful tone and led him to the stairs.  Clay had never been upstairs in my house.  Maybe because having him in my bedroom felt too intimate.  There was this unspoken line between Clay and I that we were both hesitant to cross. 

 
Sure we were close; he had become one of my best friends.  But it didn't stop me from lusting after him and wanting something so much more.  And some instinct told me that he felt the same.  Even when he could have any girl in the school, he chose to spend his time with me. 

 
But we were still holding back.  Clay was still trying to get a handle on his issues, trying to do what he needed to do to be healthy.  There were days that he still fell into depressions, times he shut me out completely, even with the medicine.  I had talked to him about going to see a therapist.  I knew he needed more than the medicine to get a handle on things. 

 
To say Clay was unwilling was a bit of an understatement.  He had told me emphatically that he had had his fill of “head doctors” when he was hospitalized.  I tried to not get frustrated with how stubborn he was about his mental health.  But he was insistent, stating he knew what he needed and the meds were enough. 

 
Though I didn't believe him, and I suspected there were still days he didn't take them.  I hated not trusting him about something so important but I knew he still hid so much.

  “
This is your room?”  He asked in surprise.  “Yeah.”  I said defensively.  Now I remembered the other reason I had never let him up here.  The excessive amount of pink left over from my childhood was more than a little humiliating. 

 
Clay went over to my window seat and picked up Mr. Prickles, my stuffed porcupine.  “Cute.”  He said wryly.  I grabbed Mr. Prickles from his hands and hugged him to my chest.  “Don't make fun of Mr. Prickles.  He is priceless.”  I put the porcupine on my dresser and turned to my closet.  “I wouldn't dream of making fun of Mr. Prickles.”  He joked, moving to my bed. 

 
I hadn't bothered to make it today and I was just thankful I had cleaned up my bras and panties off the floor before leaving for school that morning.  “Have a seat.”  I told him, a lump forming in my throat at the sight of him on my bed.  Yeah, that had been a central image in a number of my fantasies lately.  Though with a lot less clothing. 

 
God, I was turning into a smut queen. Focus, Maggie!  Focus! 

 
Clay leaned back on my pillows, his eyes already looking heavy.  “Show me this dress of yours.”  He said drowsily.  “Well, I don't want to keep you awake.”  I said sarcastically.  Clay took his fingers and held his eyes open.  “I'm awake, I swear!”  I laughed.  “No need to be all Clockwork Orange about it.”  I reached into my closet and pulled out the dress sheathed in a plastic covering. 

  “
You ready for it?”  Clay gave me a thumbs up.  “I was born ready.”  With a dramatic flourish and I pulled off the cover to reveal a bright teal, knee length dress with a huge bow in the back and one shoulder bared.  The other shoulder was capped with a large white puff.  Clay covered his mouth, trying not to laugh.  “Seriously?  You're going to wear that?”  He looked at me as if I were kidding. 

 
I snickered.  “We told you that the girls wear the most horrendous dress they can find.  We like to  make the whole experience extremely tongue in cheek.”  Clay gave in and laughed.  “Well, I can't imagine anyone looking more...tongue in cheek...than you.” 

 
I took his comment as a compliment and quickly covered the dress up again.  “You should see Rachel's.  It's hot pink with this slutty slit up one thigh, covered in these horrible sequins.  She bought these nasty velor high heels to go with them.”  Rachel and I were going to make quite a pair at the dance.  The fact that we didn't take the whole thing seriously made it even more fun. 

 
I went to sit at his feet on the bed.  I shook his leg playfully.  “That just means your suit had better be epic.  Epically awful, that is.”  Clay grinned.  “I'm planning to go over the weekend.  Now that I've seen your masterpiece, I know what to go for.”  He let loose another mouth splitting yawn.

 
He patted the bed beside him.  “Come lay with me, Mags.  Just for a little bit.”  I looked over at my alarm clock.  “My dad is going to be home soon and he will flip if I have a boy in my room.”  I said uneasily.  I think that was a bit of an understatement, given his less than jovial feelings about Clay.  But more than that I was nervous about lying down with him, being that close.  I felt like such a silly girl around him sometimes.

 
He patted the bed again.  “Just for a minute.  Please.  Trust me, I don't want your dad catching me up here any more than you do. I just want to hold you for a bit.”  He said softly, His voice scratchy with tiredness.  There he was again, tip toeing that line we had drawn in the dirt.  His brown eyes were heavy and he looked at me in that way that made my knees go weak.  I never had any resistance where Clay was concerned.  He was everything I craved and knew I shouldn't have.  But none of that mattered.  Just the fact that he wanted me near him as much I did. 

 
So I crawled up beside him and he slipped his arm underneath me, pulling me onto my side.  I spooned up beside him, my head on his chest, my hand resting lightly on his stomach.  My legs were suddenly tangled with his and I found myself extremely comfortable.

 
Clay pulled my arm off of his stomach and tightened it around his waist so I was practically plastered to his side.  He smoothed my hair off my forehead and rested his cheek on the top of my head.  I wondered if he could feel the frantic beat of my heart as I lay nestled up against him.

 
He let out a gigantic sigh and relaxed into me.  “This is nice.”  He murmured, his other hand running slowly up and down my back.  Whoa.  Lying here like this with him, it made me forget all of my reasons for not jumping in with both feet.  I mean, I loved him.  Completely.  I thought he at least cared about me.  So why wait? 

 
Clay's hand slowed until he rested it on my lower back, right underneath my shirt against my bare skin.  The warmth of his fingers seemed to shoot tingles crossed into my flesh.  I could hear his breathing deepen. I chanced a peak up at him and saw that he was almost asleep.  I tried to move out from his embrace but his arms tightened around me.  “No, please stay.  I like you close.”  He whispered sleepily.  So I lay back down on his chest and quickly fell asleep.

                                                
Chapter Ten

  “
What the hell is going on in here?”  I sat up suddenly, feeling groggy from being pulled out of a deep sleep.  I looked over and Clay had opened his eyes, looking confused.  I turned to my doorway and felt the color drain from my face.  Dad.

 
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up.  “It's not what it looks like, Dad.”  I tried to explain.  My father looked furious. I don't think I had ever seen him this angry, at least not directed at me.  He held his hand up, shutting me up.  “I don't want to hear it, Maggie.  You know the rules.”  My dad turned his steely eyes onto Clay who was still trying to wake up. 

 
Thankfully he realized that we were in a bit of trouble, so he got off of the bed as quickly as he could.  He walked over to my dad and put out his hand.  “Hi, Mr. Young.”  My father looked at Clay's hand as if it were a snake and would bite him.  He didn't shake it.  I couldn't believe my dad was being so rude. 

  “
Clay, we have rules in this house.  A big one being that no boys are allowed in her bedroom when we aren't at home.  And definitely not with the door closed.”  My dad pushed the door open as wide as it would go.

 
Clay dropped his hand to his side, and cleared his throat.  “I'm sorry sir.  Maggie was just showing me her dress for the formal and we fell asleep.  That's it.”  I was proud of how Clay stood his ground with my father.  Many a guy would have simply high- tailed it out of there.  But Clay was being respectful and showing my dad he wasn't some horny teenage boy there to deflower his daughter.

 
Though, that would be nice too.

 
I intercepted my dad's cold stare.  “Dad.  Seriously, it's not like we're having crazy sex up here or anything.  Chill out.”  Okay, bad choice of words.  Clay turned bright red and looked as though he wanted to fall through the floor.  My dad's eyes nearly popped out of his head and he stuttered for a few seconds before finally saying.  “Well whatever it was, you know your mom and I don't allow this.  You kids are to stay down stairs when we're not here.  Is that clear?”  Clay and I both nodded.  “Now, Clay, I think it's time for you to go.” 

 
My dad turned and went back downstairs and I was finally able to breathe again.  Clay grabbed his book bag off my vanity stool.  “Did you have to bring the word sex into it?  I mean seriously?  I know your dad hates me as it is.”  Clay looked as if he wanted to throttle me.  I did feel bad for embarrassing him like that.  “Sorry.” I muttered, following him down the hallway.

 
Once downstairs, Clay respectfully told my father goodbye and I threw a look of death in my father's direction once Clay's back was turned.  My dad looked blandly back at me.  I accompanied Clay to his car. 

 
After throwing his bag into his car he turned around to face me.  “Well, that was a rude awakening, huh?”  I was relieved to see his small smile.  “Yeah.  About gave me a heart attack.”  I joked.  Clay chuckled and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer.  “And I was sleeping so well too.”  He said, his voice deepening. 

 
I swallowed thickly.  Then I glanced up at the kitchen window and saw my father standing there like a damn voyeur or something and pulled away.

  “
Sorry about my dad.  He's just being a little...um...over protective.”  Clay opened his car door.  “I understand where he's coming from.  If you were my daughter I'd want to most definitely protect you from guys like me.”  He seemed a little sad as he said that.  I touched his shoulder.  “I don't need protecting from you, Clay.”  I said gently. 

 
Clay wouldn't look at me, instead he got in his car and started the engine.  Not responding to my statement, he simply said, “I'll see you at school tomorrow.”  And with that he drove off.  I was left feeling hollow and empty after feeling so good only an hour before.  I could kill my father!

 
I stomped into the house, slamming the front door.  My dad was still in the kitchen, though he had the decency to act like he had been reading a book the whole time and not spying on me.  “What the heck was that about?”  I asked him angrily.  My dad looked up at me in surprise.  He wasn't used to me getting this sort of an attitude with him.  “Now just wait a minute.  I came home from work to find you in your room, the door closed, sleeping in your bed with a boy - who I don't know that well, I might add.  What about this situation doesn't warrant the reaction I had?”  My father asked reasonably. I hated when he did that.  Stayed all calm and logical.  It made me feel stupid by comparison. 

  “
We're just friends, Dad.  Clay fell asleep and I fell asleep beside him.  That's it.  But you totally humiliated me.”  I hated the feel of tears pricking behind my eyes and quickly wiped them away.  My dad's face softened a bit.  “I didn't mean to humiliate you, Maggie girl.”  I knew he was feeling guilty  because he was using my pet name.  “But Clay is a boy and you are my little girl.   And from the sound of your voice, I get the feeling there's a bit more than friendship going on there.”  I started to protest, then stopped.  What was the point in lying about it?

 
My dad nodded knowingly.  “So I think my stipulations are very reasonable.  Clay is not allowed in your room when there is no one home.  Are we clear?”  I shrugged, not wanting to talk about it anymore.  “Fine, whatever.  It's not like I'm not seventeen years old, about to turn eighteen in four months.  I'm almost an adult, Dad, and you treat me like a child.”  I whined.  I knew I sounded exactly like the child I tried to convince him I wasn't.  I was not making a very good argument.