Finding Faith (15 page)

“
Daddy, this wasn’t Finn’s fault.
It was mine.”

“
I didn’t kidnap her. She drove me
home. I was drinking, sir, and…”

“
I don’t want to hear your
excuses. You stay away from my daughter, do you understand
me?”

“
Daddy, please just calm down for
a—”

She was quieted with the back of
his hand. The sound of his hand landing against her cheek echoed
all around me. Long brown hair shifted in front of me as she
skidded to the side, landing hard against the Jeep before falling
to the ground.

I didn’t even realize I was moving
until I felt my shoulder connect with his stomach. I slammed him on
the ground as hard as I could and punched him in the face twice. He
put his arms up to block, and I lifted my fist to hit him again. I
would’ve kept punching except I felt tiny fingers dig into my arms
as Faith pulled me away.

“
Stop, Finn, please stop!” she was
yelling.

Her mother was screaming nonsense,
drawing attention to our little drama in their front yard. Strong
fingers replaced Faith’s as a cop pulled me from the pastor. I was
thrown against the side of my Jeep and handcuffed immediately. I
stopped fighting once the cop shifted my body and threw me into the
back of his car. Faith stood there staring back at me with dirty
tears running down her cheeks.

Neighbors had started coming out of
their houses and were openly staring. I looked down at the pastor,
who was still lying on the ground. His silvery hair shined in the
sunlight as he turned his head to the side and spit a mouthful of
blood onto the dirt at his side.

His wife helped him up from the
ground and then he sat and talked to the police. I couldn’t hear
anything they were saying, and I couldn’t keep my eyes from Faith.
She still hadn’t stopped crying, and I felt like shit for not being
fast enough to stop her dad from hitting her and then for being so
crazy with rage that I’d kicked her dad’s ass.

There was no doubt in my mind that
I was going to jail and my poor mom was going to have a hell of a
day. I felt like shit. We’d only been together for a few hours, and
already I’d made Faith cry and ruined my mom’s day. I was a selfish
asshole. I’d put what I wanted ahead of others and what they
deserved.

I was shocked when one of the
officers came over, opened the door, and pulled me out. Spinning me
around to face the car, he unlocked my handcuffs.

“
Well, son, it looks like it’s
your lucky day. Pastor Warren here has decided to not press
charges.”

I turned to face the pastor. His
cheek was turning purple and there was a trickle of blood on his
lip. He walked up to me and the officer and placed his hand on the
officer’s shoulder.

“
Thank you, Ronald. We look
forward to seeing you and the wife at church soon.” He
smiled.

When he turned to face me, his
smile wasn’t real. He was putting on a show for the police, and it
only made me despise him more.

“
James, I’d appreciate it if you
stayed away from Faith. Your community service is done, so that
means my family and I shouldn’t be seeing much of you anymore. All
is welcomed in the house of the Lord, so if you decide you’d like
to come to church on Sunday’s, then please, by all means, come, but
make sure you’re nowhere near Faith when you do.”

My eyes collided with Faith’s as
his words sank in, but honestly, I’d known all along it was going
to be difficult to see her.

He couldn’t have known it at the
time, but he’d issued a challenge and I’d accepted wholeheartedly.
He wasn’t going to keep me from what I wanted, and I wanted Faith.
End of subject.

I nodded and turned to go back to
my Jeep. I had to keep in control if I didn’t want my mom having to
spend money we didn’t have to bail my stupid ass out of jail. I
shut the door behind me, cranked up the Jeep, and then sat there
and stared at Faith through the dusty windshield.

She held up her hand as if to say
good-bye, with sadness in her eyes. I could see it in her face that
she thought I was done. She thought I was just going to walk away
from her so easily—let them win. Well, she had a lot of things to
learn about me. I wasn’t going to give up. When it came to her, I
was just getting started.

Eleven

Faith

That night I went to bed with a
bruised cheek and more welts on my legs than I’d ever had. One of
them actually bled to the point that I had to cover it with a
bandage. It wasn’t pretty, and for the first time in a long time, I
cried because of the pain.

I was slowly coming to realize that
my dad had something wrong with him. No person should feel
enjoyment over beating another person, and what I saw in his face
as he took his belt to me after the police left was joy. It had
been a bad one. So bad in fact that my mother, who usually stayed
out of it, stepped in and told him to stop.

Honor thy mother and father, and I
did, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t allowed to hate them. I’d never
used the word hate before. I had no idea I was capable of the
emotion, but I was. I hated my father for what he’d done to me. I
hated my mother for sitting by and watching it for so many
years.

I rolled onto my side and stared
out at the moonlight that drifted in past my white lace curtains.
My mind hadn’t stopped going since I’d stepped foot in my yard
earlier that morning, but finally, I could feel myself getting
tired. I’d never begged for sleep so much in my life. I wanted it
all to go away for a few blissful hours until it was time to get up
and run to school.

My eyes were heavy and slowly
closing. Sleep was just beyond my reach and I was grabbing at it in
full force. I was almost there when a shadow crept across my room.
With wide eyes, I sat up and screamed, but a hand over my mouth
stopped any noise from getting out.

My body tensed up and I went into
full freak-out mode. I bucked in my bed in an attempt to get away,
scratching at the hand with my nails and thrashing so hard that my
mattress springs popped loudly. If I was being murdered or
kidnapped, I wasn’t going down without a good fight.

“
Faith, it’s me,” Finn
whispered.

I gave up my fight and took a
minute to let my panic subside. My eyes adjusted to the darkness
around me, once again allowing me to see his silhouette in the
moonlight. I was so happy to see him, but at the same time, all I
could think about was my dad coming in and catching him. He’d let
Finn off once. I seriously doubted he’d let him off twice. The last
thing I wanted was for Finn to get arrested. I wasn’t sure what
breaking and entering would get you, but I knew it was more than
community service.

Once he removed his hand from my
mouth, I sat up and threw my arms around his neck.

“
What are you doing here?” I
whispered into his shoulder.

Leaning back, he captured my face
in his hands. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’m sorry about
what happened today.”

I wanted to see his face. I needed
to see his smile and know that he was really there with me.
Reaching over, I turned on my small bedside lamp so I could see
more of him. Once the light was on his face, the smile he wore
dropped. He softly fingered the bruised side of my face with
heartbreak in his eyes.

I pressed my sore cheek into his
palm. “I’m okay.” I smiled.

“
I should’ve moved faster. I
shouldn’t have let him touch you,” he rasped.

“
Stop.” I pressed my finger to his
lips. “That wasn’t your fault. I’m just sorry you had to see that.”
I used a finger to move a strand of hair from his eyes. “No more
depressing talk. How did you get in here?” I asked.

His frown was replaced with his
signature cocky grin. “I told you sneaking in and out of windows
was super easy for me.”

I got up and made sure my bedroom
door was locked, and then I opened my window wider so Finn could
have a quick escape in case my dad came to my door. Once I was done
with that, I turned back toward my bed and caught him staring at
me.

“
What?” I asked.

He stood and came to me. I loved it
when he played with my hair so I was happy when he buried his
fingers in the strands around my face. His smile darkened as his
eyes dipped down and over my body.

“
I’ve only ever seen you in long
skirts. Your legs are so long and beautiful—sexy.”

My face lit up with heat as I
looked down at myself. I’d forgotten what I was wearing. My white
cami and plaid boxers left little to the imagination. I felt even
more embarrassed knowing that I had no bra or panties on
underneath. I’d never been so naked around another person in my
life.

“
I should change,” I said as I
started to step away.

He caught me around the waist and I
felt the heat of his fingers through the thin cotton covering my
stomach.

“
Don’t. I like seeing you like
this. Not because you’re showing more skin, but because you look
comfortable. You’re so beautiful and you’re clueless to
it.”

I didn’t fight him when he slowly
walked me back to my bed and pulled me onto his lap.

“
What have we gotten ourselves
into, huh?” He smiled and shook his head.

I ran my finger across his dimples
and leaned in to kiss him. It was nice being able to do that. I
never thought I’d be the kind of girl who would just out of nowhere
kiss a guy, but I was comfortable with Finn.

He kissed me back like he was
breathing me in, and when he ran his palm across my stomach, I
didn’t stop him. He’d told me before that he wouldn’t rush me—that
he’d wait for me, and I trusted that.

I tilted my head to the side and
breathed deep to keep myself from making embarrassing noises when
his lips moved from my mouth and to my neck. I’d never felt
something so wonderful. He was teaching me new ways to live, and I
was sucking up his lessons like they were my survival.

I could remember the many lectures
I’d gotten over the years about being easily led by lust and sexual
desires. I’d readily accepted that what my dad said was correct
without knowing or understanding anything that had to do with the
words lust and sex. But Finn was showing me how right my dad had
been. Lust and desire could make you do some crazy things. So when
Finn very slowly laid me back onto my bed, I didn’t stop
him.

I didn’t care about anything else
but his lips and hands—the feel of his breath on my skin and the
deep noises he made, which made the hairs on my arms stand on end.
I heard myself actually whine when he pulled away and smiled down
at me.

“
Time to slow down, pretty girl,”
he whispered.

I could feel his restraint in my
own bones. Stopping or slowing down wasn’t something that was easy
for him, and it made me feel good that he respected me enough to
make himself uncomfortable. He brought me up with him and planted a
tiny kiss on the corner of my mouth.

As much as I feared getting caught
with him in my room, I didn’t want him to leave. Spending the night
with him the night before had been so nice. Falling asleep in his
arms had been one of the best feelings, and I wanted to feel that
way again.

He stood and adjusted his shirt. I
got a glimpse of his belly button and the hair that disappeared
into his jeans. My eyes moved lower on their own, allowing me to
see his long legs. He really was such a nice-looking guy. When I
looked back up, he was smiling.

“
Stop looking down there like
that. You’re not making this easy for me.” He bent down and gave me
a small kiss on the lips. “I better go. Have fun at school
tomorrow.”

Before he could turn away, I
reached out and grabbed his hand. I didn’t want him to go. I felt
amazing when he was around. I could forget about how sad my life
was when he was there making everything better.

“
Stay.”

The minute the word left my mouth,
I kind of regretted it. I didn’t want him thinking I was making any
promises that something would happen. I just wanted to fall asleep
in his arms the way I had the night before.