Finding My Forever (10 page)

Jimmy wakes me up when we arrive at the hotel. The valet opens my door and helps me out. Jimmy’s right, the sun does feel good. He gets out of the car behind me, puts his hand on my back and guides me to the door. It’s odd arriving with no luggage, but I know why we did when we walk in. There are stores lining the walls with everything that we’ll need.

Jimmy gives a name, not his, but someone called Edward Windsor. I stifle a laugh and make a mental note to ask Josie and Katelyn what the guys use for aliases. I think it’s fitting that Jimmy’s given himself the last name of Windsor. The desk clerk taps his figures over the keys. The clickety-clack gives me a headache. I don’t want to depend on Jimmy, but right now I need him. I need the comfort he’s willing to give me. I lean to the side and rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me, holding me to him. I can’t resist and rest my arm along his waist. It feels good to be in his arms. If I wasn’t pregnant I think I’d be willing to see how far I can go with Jimmy while we’re on vacation. What’s Bora Bora without sun, sand and a bit of sex?

“Just a few more minutes, Sweet Lips.” He’s so sincere in the way he’s talking to me and the way he’s been since we left Beaumont. No one, at least those of us in town, ever see this side of him. I’m sure all his girlfriends see him like this. It’s probably why he has so many women flocking to him.

“Mr. and Mrs. Windsor congratulations.” The desk clerk beams with excitement as he hands Jimmy — aka Edward Windsor — his credit card. I’m trying to play along, but the congratulatory greeting is confusing. “I hope your honeymoon is everything you’ve ever dreamed of. When you’re in your room and need assistance, just dial one and the operator will help you.”

I look up and stare at the clerk. He’s smiling so bright I have to wonder if his cheeks hurt.

“What’s he talking about?” I ask, quietly, not wanting to draw attention to the clerk’s screw up.

Jimmy shakes his head slightly and turns us toward the waiting bellhop. We follow him down the path toward our suite. Calm waters surround us on each side. The turquoise blue water looks so inviting. Leave it to my pretend boyfriend to bring me on vacation to the one of the most romantic destinations in the world. I feel like an idiot.

The bellhop stops and points to our villa. Jimmy pulls me behind him, slapping some money into the man’s hand before closing the bamboo door. I walk in and fight back a laugh.

“Something funny?”

I shake my head, wrapping my arms my stomach. “We’re in the most beautiful place in the world, apparently on our honeymoon, and I’m betting all you’re thinking about are the single women in the bar.”

“What makes you think something like that?” he sounds offended. I turn and look at him. His face is solemn. Sad, even. He looks down at the wooden floor and at not at me.

“I’m sorry, that was rude. Thank you for bringing me here, Jimmy.” I step forward and put my arms around him, giving him a hug. I don’t know what our boundaries are, but I’m not willing to make him uncomfortable.

Jimmy pulls me tighter to his body and kisses the top of my head. I sigh, melting into him. I like that he isn’t afraid to touch me even though my belly is starting to make me look bigger. Most guys would be turned off, but not Jimmy.

Jimmy walks us to the edge of the room. The wall is missing, of course, giving us access to the water. We stand here, looking out at the water while in our suite. There’s nothing stopping us from running through the room and out to the water. I can’t imagine how we stay safe at night and maybe I’m missing some sliding doors, but this is beautiful and I think I’m in love. I know I’m definitely in good company and thankful that he thought enough to bring us here.

“Want to swim?”

I laugh. “No suit, remember?”

“I haven’t forgotten. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

I look at him with confusion. “Where would I go?”

“I don’t know. Go have a shower. I won’t be long.”

Jimmy’s out of the room before I have a chance to say anything. I try not to look at the clock, to memorize the time he left. I don’t want to set myself up for the heartbreak when his ‘be right back’ turns into hours and hours of being gone while I sit here in my dirty clothes.

I do as he suggests and take a shower. The water feels good. I don’t know how long I stand under the spray, but it’s long enough for my body to feel watered down. I pull on the cotton bathrobe and rub the collar on my cheek. It’s so soft and inviting. I run my fingers through my wet hair. I’ll need to pick up a brush while I’m here. I can go without make-up. Well, maybe I’ll get some mascara.

When I open the door, Jimmy is standing by the bed, staring out into the lagoon. My heart beats rapidly. I didn’t think he’d come back, yet here he is. He’s changed and is now wearing dark slacks. He turns and smiles. I have to stop in my tracks. His white button-down is open exposing the light smattering of dark hair on his torso. He has one tattoo, a Chinese symbol resting precariously near his hip bone. I want to touch him. I want to run my fingers along his abs, tracing each one until I know every curve by heart. His usual crazy hair is styled nicely, making me miss his Mohawk.

He has a date.

I try not to let the thought ruin my mood, but I can’t help it. I offer him a sad smile and sit on the edge of the bed.

“What’s wrong, Sweet Lips?” he says, kneeling in front of me.

“You’re dressed up.”

He looks at himself and nods. “So?”

“You have a date, Jimmy. You said no other women.” I know I’m complaining. It’s childish and stupid. I should just go to the lobby and buy a nice book to read while he’s out gallivanting with the female population.

“I do have a date, silly girl, with you.”

“What?”

Jimmy puts his hand on my knee, moving the bathrobe out of the way. “I want you to listen to me. Over these past few months I’ve grown to know you pretty well and if I’m being honest, you’re one of my best friends. I can be myself when I’m around you and not the performer or the guy those other groupies look for. You let me be an idiot and you still don’t look down at me. When I found out about your ex, I wanted to kill him and I haven’t had those kind of thoughts in years. I thought ‘how could a man hit someone as beautiful and sweet as you?’ When Liam told me about the baby, I realised that you don’t need to do this alone.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You said you’d listen.”

“No, I didn’t, you just started talking,” I say, smiling.

“See that’s what I’m talking about. You could be serious right now, but you’re joking around and I really like that about you. Can you at least please hear me out?”

I nod, earning a smile from him.

“Will you marry me?”

My mouth drops open when he pulls out a ring. I cover my mouth, shaking my head. Why is he doing this?

“Are you crazy?”

“Yes,” he says matter of fact.

“Jimmy, be serious here. We can’t get married.”

“Why not?” he looks hurt. I shake my head. I stand and walk toward the water. Jimmy follows, standing behind me. He places his hands on the back of my arms, rubbing up and down. It feels like I can reach out and touch the water. The view is indescribable. The water is blue now with the way the sun is shining, and moving so effortlessly, unencumbered, against the pillars.

“I’m being serious, Jenna.” He turns me into his arms. “I want to take care of you. I know we aren’t a couple, but we could be if we tried. We can learn to be a couple.”

I shake my head, fighting back tears. “You live a lifestyle that I could never agree to be a part of. I’d want my husband home with me at night and not in some other bed.”

“I’d be faithful.”

I throw my arms up and wipe my tears. “Oh, Jimmy, how can you say that?”

“Because it’s true.” He steps in front of me, pulling my hands into his. “I want this. I want to take care of you. I want to live with you. I even want to fight with you so that we can make-up with each other.”

“I’ve been married before and swore I’d never do it again. Why would I want to put myself through that again, especially knowing what I know about you?”

Jimmy looks down at the ring in his hand. He sighs before looking at me. “I understand what you’re saying, and if I were you, I’d feel the same way. I know I’m not the best man out there, but I look at you and you make me want to be better. I know what people think of me. I know you and everyone else thinks I’m a man-whore or I’m too young to be tied down. Maybe this will be temporary or maybe it will be for life, I don’t know, but it feels right. I don’t do commitments, but when I look at you, I see a future. I see
my
future.”

He sees his future, but does he see
me
? I want to say no. I want to run screaming away from here. That would be the logical thing to do. To say thanks, but no thanks. Jimmy has a lifestyle that he’s used too and that doesn’t really mesh with me. I’d be a wreck waiting for him to come home at night. I’d be anxious that he’d find someone else after a lonely night. Am I enough to get him to stay?

What if I am? What if I’m enough to help him change his ways? What if he’s what I need?

“Yes,” I say, with any more hesitation. “Yes, Jimmy, I’ll marry you.”

W
E
walk, hand in hand, back to our villa. I never thought someone like Jimmy could be this romantic, especially in the spur of the moment. I don’t think this was planned, but if it was, I’m impressed.

I squeal when he picks me up bridal style. He carries me over the threshold and into our room that has been mysteriously decorated with rose petals. I don’t know if he wants a traditional marriage. I’m not even sure if I can do a traditional marriage with him. The thought of being with him is enticing, but the images of him with other women keep the shutting the door on those thoughts. Maybe he’ll be patient and make me fall in love with him. What happens if I do and he cheats? I don’t know if I can do this and keep him happy. Surely, he’ll want sex. Any man would in this case, but I’m not sure how long he will wait until he leaves me for someone else.

He sets me down and walks over to the stereo, turning on some light music. I can’t stop staring at the bed. A bottle of Champagne sits on the table with a bowl of strawberries. I set my hand on my tummy and move my thumb back and forth.

I jump slightly when his hands rest on mine. He presses his lips against my bare shoulder. The dress he bought for me, a white strapless chiffon full-length gown with a white satin ribbon that tied under my breasts, was perfect. It flowed over my bump hiding it nicely so no one could tell.

I don’t know what my parents are going to say, but I know I did the right thing. I’ve never done anything spontaneous or in the heat of the moment. I know this may be stupid, but being married to Jimmy feels right. I know he’s not going to hurt me with his fist. He might with his body, but never will he lay a finger on me to cause harm. That is something I can trust.

Jimmy unzips my dress, letting it pool at my feet.

“What are you doing, Jimmy?”

His lips move across my back. He places small kisses every few inches. “I’m going to make love to my wife.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What’s not to understand, Mrs. Davis? We’re married and I plan on making love to you every chance I get. It’s a perk, right?”

“Are you moving in with me?”

“Yes, I am. I happen to like your apartment very much.” He unclasps my bra, adding it to the pile my dress is already in. He wants to be married, in every aspect of the word. He wants to share a bed, as long as I’ll allow him to be next to me. I should try, right? I can make a solid attempt at being his wife. Does he deserve this? He deserves to be loved, cherished and treated with respect just like any other man, right? He stands before me, unbuttoning his shirt. I should do it for him, but he mesmerizes me. This is a new side of him. A side that I’m willing to bet no one has ever seen.

He picks up my hand and holds it out so the moonlight can shine off my diamond. “Gorgeous, but not nearly as gorgeous as the person wearing it,” he says. I knew he was being honest with me when he pulled out a band for his finger. He’s breaking hearts all over the world tonight now that he’s taken himself off the market.

He bends, his hands resting on my stomach. He looks at me, never breaking eye contact as he places a kiss on my skin. Tears pool, making my vision blurry. I reach out and trail my fingers over his cheek. He has tears in his eyes and I don’t know why.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I shake my head.

“I’ve been thinking about you since that night, Jenna. Every day, I see you when I close my eyes. You’re burnt into my skin and I’ve been fighting my demons every time I’m near you.”

“Jimmy,” I say, fighting back the tears.

“Sweet Lips, we’re going to have a baby.”

I nod, confirming what he knows. What I know.

He smiles, kissing my stomach again. “We created a little human and you’re going to bring our child into the world. I’ll be there, by your side, through the whole thing. I promise you.”

S
ITTING
across the room from her is torture. I’ve never been attracted to a red head before, but there’s something about Jenna that hits me deep in my core. The way she holds herself, she moves with such confidence. I’ve seen other women hold all the attention in a room before with their fake personalities, but she doesn’t need to do that. She’s genuine and elegant. She’s all woman and probably more than even I can handle.