Finding My Way (7 page)

I watch her as she
walks to her desk, trying to make sense of it all.  What
was
that?  I don’t know, but it felt kind of… special. 
Special?
  Now I know I’m losing it!

Suddenly she
falls.  I’m not quite sure how, as it happens so fast, one second she is
there and the next she has vanished behind the desk.  It really is quite
comical and I can’t help but smile.  I don’t think that she has hurt
herself so I don’t feel too guilty, but I rush to her anyway.  I find her
giggling on the floor and then I let out the laugh that I have been biting
back.  I hold out my hand for her and she puts her delicate hand in
mine.  As soon as she touches me I feel… I can’t describe it…  It feels
kind of like a zap going straight into my heart.  I immediately let go.

I am no longer
laughing.  It is the strangest sensation I have ever felt.  I feel
like I have been stung or something.  How can I feel something like
this?  It is an alien feeling, something you read in a trashy romance (not
that I read those, but I can imagine).  This is not what happens in real
life!  And why today, what has changed since yesterday?  Emma never
even looked at me twice before and I never considered anything like this, with
her, or anyone.  I never even knew that
this
existed.

She’s still giggling
and I rewind to when I first saw her before we got on the elevator. 
All of this, because she got out of the right side of the bed?
 
I look into her beautiful eyes and realise just how stunning they are, a
spectacular shade of green, a shade of green that I cannot even think to
name.  I can’t look away.  What has gotten into me?

“Right
side of the bed perhaps, but wrong side of the chair!”
  I say more
to myself than anything.  She starts laughing harder.  But I can’t
join in now.  I am so swept away by all of this,
whatever
it
is.  “Definitely the right side of the bed,” I say again, holding her
gaze.  She stops laughing then and I can’t help but hope, again, that the
bed didn’t have anyone else in it.

“Good morning
Emma.  Good morning Seth.”  Julia says appearing from nowhere.

“Morning Julia,” I
say tearing my eyes from Emma.  “Nice day for it!” I mumble distractedly
to Julia.  I take one last look at Emma.  “Catch you later,” and go
to my office.

I shut the door and
sit at my desk, for I don’t know how long, trying to make sense of what
happened.  That was
intense
to say the least.  My office is at
the other end of the floor from reception.  Yet even from here I can feel
a pull towards her.  How is that even possible?

Emma’s not even my
type, is she?  I don’t know.  One thing is for sure, I intend to find
out.

Looking out my office
window I see Sophie walking down the corridor towards the kitchen.  I
don’t particular need another coffee right now after going to the coffee shop
and all.  But I do need to get out of this room, it’s so stuffy in here,
and I need some answers.  I grab the mug from my desk and head toward the
kitchen.

“Good morning
Sophie.”  I greet her as I head for the pot of coffee.  Noticing her
very short skirt, that matches her very low-cut top, revealing a large amount
of cleavage.  Her outfit doesn’t leave much to the imagination.

“Hey Seth, how are
you today?  Looking forward to the weekend already like I am?  Do you
have plans?  I do.  I have big plans of partying this weekend. 
You should come with me.”  Boy can she talk.  “Do you like to go
clubbing?  Or do you prefer lounges or bars?  We’ll be heading back
to this nightclub that I went to a couple of weeks ago.  Good vibes, good
music, good company. 
You in?
  Saturday
night?”  She finally pauses for breath and I realise she actually expects
me to answer that last one.

“Um, I dunno.” 
I’m not really into clubbing.

“You should, we’ll
have a blast!”

“
Who’s
we
?”

“We?
 
Oh me and my friends, let’s see there’s Jessica, Jodi, Kristy…” she was
counting them off on her fingers, “Michelle, John, Frank, Paul, Emma…”

“Emma? 
From reception?”
 
I’m in, I’m in.

“No not that Emma, a
different one.  Who else?  Um…” she continued.

“So do you hang out
with Emma?”

“From
reception?”
  I nod, hoping I’m not being too obvious. 
“Nah, not really.
  She keeps to herself.  I’ve had
drinks a couple of times with her, after work, but she always declines to go
clubbing with me.  Not her thing I guess.”

Well that’s
surprising.  Maybe I got it wrong.  I honestly thought that she was a
party girl, but if she doesn’t like to go clubbing… maybe we have more in
common than I thought.

“So what do you
think?"  Sophie asks.

“Uh
about what?”
  I ask her distractedly.

“Coming
clubbing on Saturday night?”

“I dunno-”

“Seth I’m not asking
you out on a date if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Sorry
hon
, but you’re just not my type.”  She continues
talking over me.

I eye her
thoughtfully.  She’s a good looking girl, long blonde hair, great body,
but no, I’m not attracted to her.  Hang on, I’m not
her
type? 
Well she’s not mine either, so that’s kind of a relief.  Still, that’s not
a comment any guy wants to hear from a girl.

“I don’t mean to burst
your bubble.  I mean you’re a good looking guy and all, it’s just you have
this added appendage that just does not interest me.”  Noticing my obvious
confusion at that comment, she clarifies, “I prefer women.”

I almost spill the
milk I am trying to pour into my cup.  Did not see that one coming!

“We can invite Emma,
if that’s what you want.  I mean, that’s what you want right?  I’ll
take that blush as a yes.  I am very perceptive you know.  I’ve seen
the way she looks at you.” 
What?  Seen the way she looks at
me?  What?
  “So you like her too huh?  I had you two matched
from the moment you set foot in this office.”

“Really?”
 
I eye her sceptically.

“Yes,
really.
  I wasn’t sure that you were interested though.”  She
eyes me oddly.  “Huh!  You weren’t… but now you are!  That’s
interesting…”  She says tapping her finger on her chin thoughtfully. 
“Well I have a way of reading people and you two would be great together. 
Just
sayin
’.
  But so
you know, she has recently ended a long term relationship.”

“How
recently?”

“My, my, we are
keen!”  She gives me a wink.  “A few months maybe, I dunno, but it
was a pretty tough break-up from what I can tell.  So you will have to
tread carefully buddy.  Well I better get back to work.  Let me know
about Saturday okay? 
I promise, you will have fun.”

“Yeah I’ll let you
know.”  I say to her back as she leaves the room.  I rinse my spoon
and place it on the rack.

Well Sophie was more
helpful than I was expecting.  I tried to not be obvious that I was
fishing for information, but like she says, she really
is
very
perceptive.  She figured me out straight away.  Which makes me think
that her comments about the way that Emma looks at me may also be true? 
Could she be interested in me?

But then Sophie did
say to tread carefully, I wonder how serious and ‘long-term’ Emma’s
relationship was.  Since I started working here I thought of Emma as
rather stand-offish with me, until today at least.  But maybe she was
really hurt by the guy she was with.  Maybe she isn’t interested in dating
anyone right now.  I grab my cup and head back to my office.

After stewing on the
information for a few hours, I decide that considering what I have been told it
probably isn’t a good time to ask Emma out.  Not a good idea if she’s
nursing a broken heart.  I don’t want to be a rebound guy.  So I try
to put her out of my head.

As the day drags on I
find that I am actually able to focus on my work, at least part of the
time.  But I keep coming back to the same question: should I ask her out
anyway?  I mean what’s the worst that could happen?  She may say
no.  She probably will say no, but I think it is worth a chance. 
Sophie did say that it had been a few months since Emma’s relationship ended,
if she’s over it then she wouldn’t be on the rebound, would she?  I am
such a chicken-shit!  I have to stop being afraid of the
consequences.  Time to man-up!

I glance at the
time.  Nearly home time, I will catch her as I leave so that I don’t seem
too desperate by making a special trip to her desk.  That way when I get a
rejection I’ll just be able to go home. 

I get busy working on
the last item for the day.  Some formulas in a spread sheet for Julia, she
was having trouble with.  It’s a little tedious but at least it passes the
time.

The work for Julia
passes the time a little too well, I realise as I am waiting for it to finish
printing and I look at the clock.  Shit!  How did that happen? 
I better rush if I want to see Emma before she leaves the office.  I have
no idea what I am going to say to her, all I know is I need to see her.  I
pack up my desk and collect my things.  I pick up the printout of the
spread sheet for Julia as I leave my office. 

When I get to
reception Emma isn’t there but I notice that her bag still is.  Maybe she
is in the bathroom or something.  So I head to Julia’s office and hand her
the paperwork.

By the time I get
back out of Julia’s office Emma’s bag is not at her desk anymore. 
Shit!  I missed her!  Then as I head toward the elevator I see that
she’s there.  I hasten my walk but I don’t make it in time.  She
mouths ‘sorry’ as the doors close.

I quickly press the
button again and again, willing the doors to re-open, but they don’t.  Is
it weird that I’m suddenly so desperate to see her? 

“Don’t you hate
that?”  Sophie asks as she steps up beside me.  When she notices my
bewildered expression she says, “When the elevator leaves just as you
arrive?”  She holds up her index finger and thumb, “Missed it by that
much!”  She says impersonating Maxwell Smart.  It’s kind of funny so
I chuckle with her.

When the elevator
finally arrives we both get on and I press the button for the basement. 
As Sophie prattles on about how badly she needs a holiday I tune out.  It
seems like the elevator is going slower than usual.  When we get off we
both head over to the allocated G & C Printing car spaces, but I don’t see
Emma anywhere.  I look inside the remaining parked cars as we pass, but
they’re all empty.

“Looking for
someone?” Sophie asks when she notices what I am doing.  I turn to her but
am unable to speak.  I didn’t know I was so obvious.  “Emma catches
the train,” she adds with an all-knowing smile and a wink as she waves goodbye
and she opens her car door.

It is a really busy
day at work.  Julia gives me a lot of letters and memos to type up. 
Phone calls to return on her behalf.  I catch up on my filing,
finally.  The incoming phone calls barely stop.  Lunchtime comes and
goes.  I don’t see Seth again, but we have about thirty employees in the office
so that is not unusual.  Even though I don’t see him I can’t help but
think of him, visions of his beautiful brown eyes and sexy smile haunt me all
day.  Thinking of my fall from my chair this morning I can’t help but be
thankful that my dress went pass my knees or landing on my arse could have been
so much more embarrassing!

In the two years I
have worked here there has been quite a turnover of staff.  Our old boss
was a tyrant.  A lot of people left, but since Julia started here about
six months back that seems to have settled down.  I was even considering
leaving before she came along. 

Julia is almost
entirely grey-haired.  She has a lot of wrinkles on her face, or laughter
lines as she calls them.   She dresses as if she is straight out of
the sixties, really chic, hippy-like.  Surprisingly though, she is only in
her late forties.  She looks a lot older, she must have bad genes or maybe
she
really
has just laughed a lot in her lifetime.  She is a great
boss.  She is kind and she listens to people, which the former management
had a problem doing.  She likes everyone to work as a team but always
gives credit to where credit is due.  I enjoy working for her, and I know
that she will be a great mentor as I try to learn more aspects of the business,
if I get that far.

I love being on
reception but I would like to spend some time working in each of the various
departments as I learn how the whole company runs.  At G & C Printing
we do the designing of advertisements, for newspapers, brochures, pamphlets and
even the occasional book cover and then, of course, the printing.  The
printers are all down on the first floor of the building.  My ultimate
goal is to work with the graphics team.  I loved art and graphics at
school, and sometimes regret not studying the subject further, like at
university or TAFE.

Being the
receptionist, I am the first face you see when you get off the elevators as my
desk faces them. The reception here is quite a large and open space.  My
desk hides behind a bright orange half wall.  I have a state-of-the-art
telephone system and a super-fast computer with a huge flat screen
monitor.  I have a big comfy black high backed swivel chair (surprisingly
hard to miss, I still don’t understand how I did that this morning!). 
There are three filing cabinets to my left and the grey wall behind me, with
the big black shiny letters of the company name, hides the board room. 
The office consists of two corridors that encircle the board room and meet up
at the end.