Finding Refuge (4 page)

She shrugged. “I’m not sure. A few weeks, maybe.” She stood and
waved him off the blanket. When he got to his feet, she picked up the blanket
and folded it. “I’m sort of on vacation. Figuring some things out, you know?”

The grainy quality in her low voice touched something
primal, deep inside him, hooking him, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure he
remembered why he should be fighting this attraction. “Would you have dinner
with me tonight, Andri?”

Her eyes met his then, wide, turbulent. He got the distinct
impression she was sifting her thoughts, making a measured decision. Then the
turbulence cleared and she smiled. “I’d love to. What time?”

Travis broke into a grin. “Great, uh, six-thirty? I’ll pick
you up at Rachel’s house.”

“All right, that works. I’d better go help her, then. Make
sure we’re done on time.” She gave him that brilliant, soul-warming smile one
last time, then retreated up the stairs where Rachel had gone.

The lightness in his soul lasted until he crossed the
walkway to his truck. His cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, only
to feel the waves crash against him. The caller ID said Craig Jasper. “Lord
help me, this guy is going to drive me insane.” He leaned against his truck,
calmly answering his anxious client’s questions. No sooner did he get the man
off the line than his office manager called.

He glanced up at the unfinished roof, resignation settling
on him like a blanket. He’d get no more manual labor today. He’d pushed aside
his office duties as long as he possibly could, and now he had to pay for it.
He waved at one of the guys on the crew, who grabbed his cap and tossed it down
to him.

He talked to Peggy all the way to company headquarters in
Fort Union, and it wasn’t until he stepped into his private office and closed
the door that it fully dawned on him what he’d done.

He’d asked Andri out.

He leaned against the door. What was he thinking? He never
dated, except to functions where he was expected to show up with a woman on his
arm. The only other reason to date was to find a companion, and he couldn’t
bring himself to try. The potential for pain to himself, or worse, for him to
hurt someone else, was too great.

The memory of the way Andri smiled crept into his thoughts.
Her bright, genuine smile warmed the dark places inside him.

She couldn’t possibly be as sweet as she seemed. He could
dig a little and find the negative traits he knew must lurk under the surface,
the things about her that would turn off his response to her. They had to be
there.

He’d had his libido under firm control for a long time, but
she rattled him. The edges of his control slipped when visions of her flooded
his brain. He would dissect her personality tonight and be done with her.

A nagging thought tickled his brain. What if she ended up
being wonderful? That made his heart skip a beat, but he reined himself in. She
didn’t live here. She was a visitor, taking a break from her usual life.

Hmm. Maybe he should take advantage of that, enjoy her
company a bit before she left. Either way, then he’d be able to let her go. She
would be out of his head completely, leaving him to his comfortable, familiar
misery.

Chapter Three

The doorbell rang at precisely six-thirty, and Andri
panicked. She was ready. She had been for twenty minutes. Once she told her
about the date, Rachel had insisted on taking off early and going shopping to
be sure she had a great outfit. So here she stood, in a long, cream floral
halter dress she’d fallen in love with, paired with navy sandals.

She still wasn’t sure about her face. Cosmetics just didn’t
look the same on her as they looked on other people, but she’d done her best.
Mascara, sheer powder, and, since Rachel had insisted, a matte rose lipstick,
but she nixed anything else because more always made her feel like a little
girl playing dress-up.

“You look fantastic, Andri,” Rachel said, peeking around the
edge of the kitchen doorway. “Stop stressing out in front of the mirror and
open the door, or I’ll do it for you.”

She threw a pleading look at her friend and got a thumbs-up
in return. She drew a deep breath. She looked presentable. This would be fine.
She pushed her hair back over her shoulders and opened the door.

Travis stood on the front porch, his hands in the pockets of
khaki pants. The rolled-up sleeves and open two buttons and the top of his pale
green striped shirt gave her a glimpse of tanned skin and toned muscle. Ohhh,
he looked good. She allowed herself a quick glance from the top of his thick,
sunstreaked hair to the toes of his very nice leather shoes.

Something bright and hot sparked deep inside her when she
realized his eyes were roaming across her in a slow, casual once-over. His gaze
caught hers, and his lips curved into a sexy grin that stole her breath.

“You look great,” he said. His silky baritone sent shivers
up her spine, and she wondered if she’d be able to eat with the butterflies
circling inside her. She’d give anything to know if she affected him like this,
or at all. She did not want to be the only one chemically involved here.

She forced herself to breathe evenly. “Thanks, so do you.”

He cocked his head slightly, his grin widening, deepening
the crease of his dimples. “Thanks. Are you ready?”

Andri grabbed her purse and a cream wrap off the rack beside
the door. “I am now.”

She shut the door behind her and walked beside him to his
truck. He opened the door and held out a hand to help her in. The touch of his
calloused hand under hers sent a livewire shock through her body, tingling in
the pit of her stomach.

She climbed in, and before she could tug her dress to
safety, Travis tucked the long hem out of harm’s way, then closed the door. The
small act stunned her. Either he had been well-trained, or Travis possessed an
eye for detail and a level of thoughtfulness she’d not seen in other men she
dated. She hoped it was the latter, but she knew he’d been married before. What
sort of woman had he chosen? She forced her thoughts away from that subject.
Whatever woman she might imagine would instantly morph into everything she
wasn’t and further inflame the inadequacy festering inside her.

After he’d backed out of the drive and headed down the
highway into Park City, he glanced over at her. “Do you have any preferences?”

“I’m not picky. Just feed me, I’m starving.”

That brought his killer grin back. “I know a great Mexican
place. Will that work for you?”

“Maybe. How’s their chile verde?”

“Just the right amount of heat and the pork’s tender, lots
of flavor.”

“Yep, that’ll work.” Her eyes drifted down his tanned arms,
layered with corded muscle, to his strong hands gripping the steering wheel.
Hands used to putting tools to work. She considered briefly whether his hands
would be rough or gentle on her skin, then batted the thought away. In the
first place, who’s to say he even felt that kind of attraction to her. If he
did, it would be fleeting. She’d had her first boyfriend in college and a few
that followed. It never lasted long. One or both of them always lost interest
after a month or two or three. None of her relationships had any staying power
until Pete, but look how that turned out.

The restaurant was fifteen minutes from the house, and small
talk about the weather and how their respective days had gone kept them
occupied until they settled into a brightly striped booth, digging into chips,
spicy salsa, and fresh guacamole.

After they placed their orders, Travis leaned toward her
slightly, dipping a chip in salsa. “So, where are you from? How do you know
Rachel?” The warm expression in his eyes encouraged her. He sounded genuinely
interested rather than someone reaching for something, anything, to say.

“Originally, Colorado Springs. I met Rachel at the
University of Utah when we shared a dorm. I moved to Phoenix after graduation,
but we’ve stayed in touch.”

“Ah, that’s it. I wondered why I hadn’t met you before, but
while you two were at the U, I was at Clemson. What do you do?”

“I’m a computer geek. I ran the IT department for a grocery
chain in Arizona. Now I’m between jobs.”

“What happened? Did you quit?”

She thought she saw a hint of dismay in his expression. She
understood. Walking away from a stable job in this economy did make her look
like a flake. “I really needed to get out of Phoenix.”

The dismay morphed into curiosity mingled with concern.
“That sounds ominous.”

“Not really. It was more a case of a lot of things that
added up until I realized it was time for some changes in my life. I wasn’t
very happy with how things were going, so I gave my notice and got out of there
after I’d shown my replacement around. Rachel kindly offered a place to crash
while I get my head sorted out.”

He took a drink of his soda, then leaned back in his seat,
watching her. “There are days I’d love to do that. Just, step back, take an
honest look at things, and make changes.”

The conversation bounced around for a while until their
meals arrived. Travis thanked the waitress at the same time Andri did, and she
grinned at him. Her dad always said to watch how her date treated those who
served him, because she’d learn a lot about his character. So far, so good.

As he cut into his smothered burrito, Travis said, “Tell me
about your family.”

Andri finished swallowing a bite of spicy but incredibly
flavorful chile verde, then said, “I lost my dad a few years ago. Colon cancer.
My mom lives in Phoenix. She’d moved there while I was in school, and she loves
it there, loves the Greek community. My brother, Dmitri, is an attorney out in
upstate New York. What about yours?”

“I work with my dad, I’m sure Rach told you that. He’s the
best.”

She grinned, watching him dig into his dinner. The man ate
with gusto. “Sounds like you have a good relationship.”

“Oh yeah. You know, he always made time to do things with
me, even when business was wearing him down. We’d go hiking, or take the boat
out and fish. Sometimes, he’d pick me up after school and we’d sneak off to the
movies together, just the two of us. Then he’d make up excuses about where we
were when we got home late for dinner.”

She laughed with him, delighted with mental images of him as
a boy. She watched him eat for a moment while she devoured her own meal. He was
a breath of fresh air, so amazingly...normal. Centered. Confident without being
arrogant. A man who actually listened to what she said, who didn’t just sit
there waiting for her to stop talking so he could hear his own voice. Not to
mention he was yummy to look at. So far, Rachel was right. This was fun. “Tell
me about your mom.”

His expression closed a bit, but the tone of his voice
remained smooth. “My mother is a fine woman. She does a lot of work for the
homeless and children’s causes. Most of her time goes to charity work. Always
has. Of course, now it’s more in the form of organizing big affairs to bring in
donations, but when I was young she spent time in the trenches, feeding people,
helping them face to face.”

“Wow. I’ve always admired people who give so much of
themselves to others. What about siblings? Rachel said you have a brother.”

The moment she saw the shadow flicker across his face, she
regretted asking the question. She’d obviously hit a painful subject, and she
didn’t want to ruin the evening. Even more, she didn’t want her nurturing
instinct to kick in. “I’m sorry, Travis, I seem to have said the wrong thing.
Forget I asked, okay?”

He raised his eyebrows, surprise registering on his strong
features. After a moment, he gave her a slight smile. “No, it’s fine. I do have
a brother, Daniel. He’s five years younger than I am.”

“Are you close?”

“Yes and no. I boss him around more than he appreciates.”

“That’s what big brothers are for. Dmitri made my life miserable,
but I sure miss having him around sometimes.”

The conversation lightened up as they finished their meal.
Travis paid the bill, then gently draped her wrap over her shoulders before
they ventured outside. An evening breeze cooled the mountain air by a good
twenty degrees, and Andri tightened the wrap around her.

They continued talking on the way back to Rachel’s house,
trading memories from growing up. Andri soaked it in, learning everything she
could about this wonderful man before the evening ended. When they reached the
farmhouse, he switched off the engine and shifted on the seat to face her. The
evening light outlined his face, glinting in his eyes.

“So, I’m curious. You seem very together and on top of
everything, and I can’t figure out for the life of me what you’re staying with
Rachel to sort out. What drove you out of Phoenix?”

Whoa, that was a swerve into serious. Telling him about her
sham of an engagement wasn’t a conversation she really wanted to have, but
there was no point in avoiding it, either. If he asked Rachel, she’d tell him.
Better that it come from her. She toyed with the ends of her wrap. “Well…I was
engaged.”

His brow knitted. “Did you call it off?”

She nodded. “We shouldn’t have been engaged in the first
place, so I saved us both from a very painful future together. We would have
divorced eventually.”

His expression closed, his gaze hardened. Her stomach took a
sickening dive. Now she’d done it. A ruinous end to an otherwise decent date.

“You decided to not even try to make it work?” Accusation
simmered in his words, and she sighed, reaching for patience. Of course he
would think the worst of her at this moment.

“Travis. He was gay.”

His expression melted into compassion instantly. “Oh, damn.
Wow. Not openly, I’m guessing.”

“No. That’s why he wanted me, to help provide cover.”