Finding Serenity (Serenity Beach) (10 page)

Jordyn’s arms were crossed over her chest and her head was down, focused on the ground. “Please stop following me, Nolan.”

I grabbed her arm and waited until she looked up. “I’m not leaving you, Jordyn.”

“You have to,” she pleaded, eyes wide with fear. It further confirmed my suspicion that something had happened since our night together. “We shouldn’t be together.”

“Give me one good reason why not.” She tried to jerk away, but I refused to let go. I wasn’t giving her up without a fight this time.

She stopped struggling and yelled, “Because it’s not safe. It’s not safe for me, and it’s not safe for you!”

My chest thudded at how much fear was in her voice. “Why isn’t it safe, Jordyn? Tell me.”

Her jaw clenched and unclenched as she fought against an internal struggle, deciding whether to tell me or push me away again. Finally, she said, “Take me home.”

“Jordyn-”

“Nolan, we can’t do this here. Take me home.”

I interpreted that to mean that she would tell me everything once we were inside her house. The short car ride was silent with Jordyn staring blankly out the window. When I pulled the car over in front of her house, I asked, “Do you really want me out of your life, Jordyn? Be honest. I can take it- I’m tougher than I look.”

The smile she gave me was heartbreakingly sad. “No. I don’t.”

“Then you have to let me inside. You can’t keep pushing me away.”

She stared hard at me, like she was trying to read my thoughts. Eventually, she nodded and opened the car door. I noticed that her hand was shaking when she unlocked her front door. The door swung open wide and she stepped through the doorway, turning to me.

“Please, come inside.” The way that she looked at me said she wasn’t just talking about physically entering her home. She was ready to let me into her heart, too.

~JORDYN~

Nolan had come back for me. He hadn’t taken the easy way out. He had found me, and he fought for me. I couldn’t push him away any longer. So I decided to invite him in, literally and figuratively.

I waited until we were both seated comfortably on the couch, beers in hand. I needed a little liquid courage to help me find the words to say.

“I guess it all started when I was eighteen.” Thinking back, those few years of my past felt much longer. “I had been living with Cecily’s family for almost a year. She was starting to make plans to move away for college in a few months and I was having trouble making plans just a few days away. And then I met Ben.”

Just saying his name made me shudder. “I knew he was trouble from the very beginning. He hung out with a bad crowd, got kicked out of school. I told myself that none of that mattered. He treated me well and promised to take care of me. At that point in my life, that meant a lot.”

The timing of meeting Ben had been a recipe for disaster. I was vulnerable and willing to believe any of the lies he told me. That’s why I agreed to move in with him just three months after we started dating. His attitude toward me changed almost instantly. It started out as verbal abuse and quickly became physical. With Cecily away at college, I no longer had anyone else I could depend on. It took me almost two years to get the courage to tell my best friend about the abuse.

Cecily drove home from college that very day to help me move out while Ben was at work. We were just loading up the last of my things when Ben snowed up, furious and raging. He tried to make me stay, going so far as to pin me against the house. But Cecily was spunky and managed to shove him away.

It wasn’t until after we had put several blocks between our car and Ben that we both started to relax. I was just starting to thank her when the truck rammed into us, painting my world in black. It was a hit and run. The driver was never found, and part of me had always suspected that it might have been Ben.

I had never told anyone about Ben, and once the story started to flow, there was no stopping it. Nolan let me do all the talking, never once looking shocked or disinterested.

“When I finally got out of the hospital, I didn’t have anywhere to go. Cecily was gone and she was the only family I had left. I couldn’t go back to Ben.” I spent every day in the hospital in fear that he would show up. “So I pulled all the money I could out of the bank, threw what I could carry on my back, and jumped on the bus. I bounced around through several town, looking for the perfect place to start over. A few months later, I found Serenity.”

I let myself take a deep breath and added, “And then I found you.”

“Best night of my life,” Nolan said, taking my hand. “I’m so sorry for all of the pain in your life until now, Jordyn. I wish I could take it away for you.”

“I didn’t tell you all of this so that you would feel sorry for me,” I said sternly. “I told you because you need to know my backstory to understand why we can’t be together.”

“Not this again.” Nolan squeezed my hand. “Your past has nothing to do with us.”

“It has everything to do with us.” I dropped his hand and got up, walking purposefully to the kitchen. It only took me a second to find what I was looking for and return to Nolan. “Ben isn’t in my past anymore.”

“Where did you get this?” he asked through clenched teeth, staring hard at the picture.

“Ben left it on my door.” I couldn’t even look at it. “He found me. I don’t know how, but he is in Serenity and he knows about you.”

Nolan crumpled the picture into a tight ball and threw it down. “I’m not scared of this loser, Jordyn. He’s going to have to do a lot worse than a stupid picture to scare me.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid he’s going to do,” I whispered. “Being with me isn’t safe. There’s no telling what Ben will do.”

“Too bad. I’m not going anywhere.” Nolan reached for me then and I let him hold me. I felt so safe in his arms. I hadn’t even realized that I was tired, but once I was in his arms I felt myself drifting away.

When I opened my eyes a few hours later, I found Nolan in the kitchen, cooking an elaborate meal. His face lit up when I entered the room.

“You’re ruining my surprise.” He wiped his hands on a towel and grinned at me.

I melted inside. “Nothing about this moment is ruined,” I said.

He let me hug him, tight, and didn’t pull away even when the water began to boil over. “I guess this means you’re staying?” I asked, reaching over to turn down the flame.

“I’m staying as long as you’ll let me.” He bumped me out of the way. “Now go sit down and let me finish cooking.”

“Fine. At least let me get a beer.” I started toward the fridge but he stepped in front of me.

“I’ll get it.”

He reached for the door and froze. He was so still I worried he had suffered an attack of some kind.

“What’s wrong?” I put my hand on his shoulder.

“Jordyn, where did you get that magnet?”

I stepped to the side so I could see around him. The flamingo magnet was new- I had never seen it before.

“I don’t know. It’s not mine.” My voice was hushed. “I’ve never seen that before now.”

Nolan grabbed the magnet and turned slowly, his face stony. “I have.”

“You have? Where?” For a second I thought that maybe it was a gift from him, but the look on his face said that wasn’t the case.

“I saw a man buying this magnet in a gas station. He said it was for his girlfriend.” Nolan’s eyes narrowed.

I gasped. “Ben.”

His hand closed in a fist around the magnet.

“Nolan, that magnet wasn’t here until today. I would’ve noticed it.” It was hard enough to accept that Ben had been to my home, but at least Nolan had been there with me the first time. Now I knew that he had been inside my home as well, and he would no doubt return again.

“It’s okay.” Nolan gave me a quick hug. “We’ll get the locks changed. Or you can come stay with me for a while. It’s going to be okay.”

“I’m not going to let him ruin my life anymore, Nolan. I can’t let him have that kind of control over me.” I had no idea how I was going to get him to leave me alone, but I had to find a way.

We ate our dinner and pretended everything was fine. After a while, I started to believe that it might be. Nolan turned out to be a great cook, and I rewarded him later in bed. I collapsed on top of him afterward, waiting for my heart to return to its normal rhythm.

“Hey, Jordyn,” Nolan mumbled.

I lifted my head. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

I kissed his ear and whispered, “If you love me half as much as I love you, we’re both in trouble.”

“I’m not worried.” He kissed me, and all of my troubles were forgotten. “You are just the kind of trouble I need in my life.”

Nolan was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I wasn’t going to let anything, or anyone, take him away from me.

My first few months by the ocean, I spent my mornings and evenings alone, gazing at the vastness of the sea and contemplating my life. How had I gotten here? I was a living in a strange town, working in a restaurant on the ocean, and I came home each night to an empty home. It was a lonely existence. But then one night, all of that changed. I met a stranger that changed my life. Nolan was funny and sweet, and as much as I had tried to deny it, I had fallen for him.

Now, when I watched the sun rise in the morning, Nolan was by my side. When the sun began to set, we were too lost in each other to notice. Things were going so well, I knew it wouldn’t last- it couldn’t last. My past wasn’t going to stay in the past any longer.

I tried to push Nolan away, to protect him. But Nolan had other plans. He didn’t care about my past, or how it might affect him. He loved me, and I loved him even more. He was everything I wanted, and I was everything he didn’t need.

“Ken, you’re late.”

I finished cashing out my tips and shut the register drawer. Kennedy hustled behind the counter, bumping me out of the way with her hip.

“Sorry, I got held up. I’ve got this. You can go.”

“Is everything alright?” I eyed my friend carefully, noting her disheveled hair and smudged makeup. It was strange to see Kennedy look anything less than perfect.

Kennedy answered without looking at me. “I’m good. Everything’s good. Go.”

She turned to reach for a banana and knocked over a pile of apples. It was obvious that something was going on with her- she was never this clumsy.

She caught me staring at her and said, “I mean it, Jordyn. Get out of here. Go see your hot boyfriend.”

I tried to look offended that she thought I was so obsessed with my boyfriend, but thinking about Nolan always brought a goofy smile to my face. For the last month, our relationship had been close to perfect. I knew that would likely change someday, but until then, I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

“Alright, I’m taking off, but don’t forget we have plans tomorrow.”

Kennedy waved me away. “I won’t forget. Scram.”

So I scrammed. Or more literally, I grabbed my bike and started pedaling. It was another beautiful day in Serenity Beach- somehow I never got tired of 80 degrees and mostly sunny skies. The breeze coming off the ocean kept me from getting sweaty as I sped away from the Seabag and headed up the coast.

Nolan was still technically staying at the Estate, but he spent nearly every night at my place. During the day, he trained. He ran all around Serenity, swam in the ocean, and lifted weights. Mostly, he did anything but pick up a baseball because he still wasn’t sure he was ready to play again. It was my mission to change his mind about that.

When I entered the mansion, it was eerily quiet. I usually avoided the place during the day because of how empty and haunted it felt. I found Nolan in the gym, sweaty and focused. He hadn’t heard me open the door, so I stood and watched him. It was a treat to be able to observe him in his natural habitat. Contented, I sighed and leaned against the doorframe.

Nolan heard me exhale and his head jerked up. He turned, saw me, and grinned like a little boy. “How long have you been standing there, stalker?”

“Just long enough to develop a huge crush on you.” I pretended to swoon, but it wasn’t really that fake. “Nolan Meyers is so dreamy!”

Nolan hooked one finger at me, beckoning me forward. “Get over here and kiss me, woman.”

I was more than happy to oblige.

“You taste suspiciously good,” Nolan said when we separated a good while later.

“I may have been sampling the merchandise at work,” I conceded.

“I wouldn’t mind you sampling my goods.” Nolan practically leered at me.

I swatted him on the arm. “Don’t be lewd.”

“I can’t help it. When I’m around you, my mind goes right into the gutter.”

“Let me help with that.” I moved away, putting at least a foot of space between us. “Better?”

Nolan shook his head. “Definitely not.”

“How’s the workout going?” I took a seat on the bench.

“It
was
going okay. But that’s definitely about to change.”

“No, don’t let me distract you. I can find some other way to occupy my day.”

“No way.” Nolan smiled. “You can’t stop by looking that amazing and think I’m just going to let you leave.” Of all Nolan’s many attractive traits and impressive skills, nothing had as much of an effect on me as his smile. It was my kryptonite.

“Fine. I’ll sit here quietly and inspire you.” I sighed dramatically. “Oh, the sacrifices I make for your career!”

“Yes. Poor you.” Nolan’s focus flipped like a light switch. “Do you want to go down to the beach?”

“That was random.”

He jumped to his feet and held out his hand. “I need some fresh air. Maybe a dip in the ocean. Swimming is a great workout.”

“Alright,” I said, taking his hand.

The mansion was located on a large plot of land and had its own private beach. It was a beautiful part of Serenity, but the most appealing part was that it was private. No annoying tourists getting in the way. Without hesitating, I stripped down to my underwear.

Nolan had already removed all of his clothing and jumped head first into the water. I eased myself in more slowly, letting waves crash over me.

“Take your time!” Nolan called, a wide grin on his face.

I stuck my tongue out at him and then dove in. When I surfaced again, I couldn’t find him. I swam in a quick circle and then his head broke the surface right in front of me, his arms encircling my body.

“What took you so long?” he asked, water dripping from his long eyelashes.

“What do you mean? I’m right on time.” I kissed his perfect lips, reveling in their warmth and saltiness.

Nolan got bored after a few minutes and headed back to the shore without me. I probably would’ve stayed in the water even longer, but when I glanced toward the beach, I caught Nolan toweling off and my heart jumped. He wrapped one towel around his waist and started to spread another towel on the sand, but he turned to watch me walk ashore.

Apparently, he liked what he saw. He couldn’t keep a cocky grin from his face as I approached. When I was a foot away, I stopped and we stood without touching, eyes unblinking.

“I’m beginning to think this idea was just a cheap ploy to have sex on the beach,” I said, narrowing my eyes.

“Did you just call me cheap?” His eyes sparkled dangerously.

I reached for his towel, tugging gently until it gave way. “That’s better.”

Nolan reacted quickly, scooping me off my feet and laying me on the towel. I yelped in surprise, then latched my arms around his neck so he couldn’t get away.

We lay on the beach for almost an hour afterward and I could feel the sun warming parts of my body that had rarely seen the light of day.

As the ocean water and sweat on my skin evaporated, I said, “We should probably have lathered on sunblock. Your ass is going to be so burnt.”

Nolan laughed. “It’ll be worth it.”

“You say that now, but I’m going to be the one that has to lather on the aloe.” To prove my point, I pinched his butt cheek.

“You do me, and I’ll do you.” He stroked a hand over my breast which was already beginning to turn pink.

“So generous of you.” I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, basking in the warmth of the sun and Nolan’s soft caress.

He stopped suddenly, and shifted over me. I opened one cautious eye.

“So, I’ve been thinking…” Nolan smiled slowly. “I’m going to start playing again.”

“For real?” Both of my eyes were open now as I studied him to see if he was being serious. “That’s awesome news.”

“I called up the manager and he’s willing to take me back.”

“When do you leave?”

His eyes narrowed. “Don’t sound so excited…”

“Stop. You know I’m going to be devastated when you leave. I’m just curious how much time we have.” I couldn’t even begin to think about how much I was going to miss Nolan.

“I need to take off in a couple of days. But I want you to come with me.”

I loved that he wanted me to go with him. That meant he was just as attached to me as I was to him. But I couldn’t do that. “My life is here, Nolan. I can’t just leave.”

“I can’t leave you here.” He looked more serious than I had ever seen him.

“This is about Ben?” Now I felt like an idiot. “You don’t want me to go with you because you’ll miss me. You just don’t want me to be here alone.”

I felt very exposed on the beach. With a gentle nudge, I pushed Nolan away and rolled on my side. I found my discarded clothes and began to dress.

“Jordyn. That’s not it at all. I want you to come with me because my life sucked when you weren’t in it.” Nolan put his hand on my shoulder. “Look at me, please.”

When I turned back to him, he kissed me, long and urgently. It was like he knew the power of his kiss, how it made me forget everything for just a moment. He took his time, then pulled back just a fraction of an inch and said, “Everything is going to be fine. I promise.”

And in that moment, I believed him.