Finding You (23 page)

Reluctantly tearing my gaze from his body, my eyes landed on Low who, judging from the scowl on her face, noticed mine and Logan’s moment. Shit!

“Come on.” She said exasperated, before making her way down from the bleachers to the guys’ locker room.

As we waited for Tate, it became apparent who won from the whooping and hollering coming from inside the guys’ locker room. Logan seemed to have that effect on me. Whether I could control it or not, he could make me forget that there is a world outside of us. Time just seems to stop when we are together, as if nothing else mattered as long as we are together.

“Did you hear what I said, baby girl?” I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts by Tate’s question, see? He wasn’t even around and I couldn’t even pay attention to anything or anyone else.

“Huh? What?”

“Logan said to meet him at ‘The Spot.’“

My eyes grew wide at his reply, only days ago Logan couldn’t even look at me and now he wants to see me? What was going on?

“You okay, sis?” Tate asked, noticing my shocked expression.

“Yeah, fine. I’ll see you guys later.” I said trying to act nonchalantly.

“Call me later.” Low said with a pointed look as she leaned into my brother’s arms, clearly not happy with the situation.

“Okay.” I muttered before walking out of the building towards ‘The Spot.’

My heart hammered against my chest as if wanting to escape, my palms were wet with nerves as my legs shook uncontrollably. I didn’t know if this was a reaction for Logan actually wanting me near him or just nerves for wondering what the hell this was about.

Taking the long way around through campus, I watched as other students carried on with their normal routines, not knowing that I was dealing with a battle in my head. As I neared the football field, I quickly noticed a figure leaning against the large oak tree that sat just in front of ‘our’ bench. I didn’t have to look at the person’s face to know it was Logan. His back was pressed against the tree and his right leg bent at the knee, his foot propped on the trunk of the tree. Just the way he leaned against it was enough to know it was him, the last of the evening rays of sunlight peered through the branches of the old oak tree showcasing his stunning chiseled features. I couldn’t help but notice just how beautiful he truly was, he took my breath away.

“You came.” Logan’s voice cut through my thoughts as I stepped towards him.

He was still in his football uniform, his jersey now back on, it was tight against his muscled chest as if straining to escape. My eyes traveled to his gorgeous face, and I think I moaned slightly at the sight of him in a snap back cap that he was wearing backwards, he looked edible. As I raked my eyes over his body, I noticed him smirk. Shit, he had seen me checking him out.

“What’s this about, Logan?” I asked nervously, trying to wipe the smug smile off of his face.

“Look I …” Logan started, pulling his cap off of his head and running his fingers through his hair. “I have tried to do as you asked. I tried to get you out of my damn head but … I can’t nor do I want to. You hurt me, Neva, like nobody else could. But I can’t carry on without you. Without us … I miss us.” He finished on a whisper before placing his cap back on his head.

My mom once said, we hurt the people we love the most, but the ability for them to love you despite the hurt is special and the most beautiful gift, it’s the gift of forgiveness. I never really understood the word forgiveness until that day. Logan was willing to forgive me for what I had done to him, but I knew that he would never forget.

“Logan, we can’t do this.”

“Neva, I’m asking to be your friend, not your mistress. Wait, what’s the male version of a mistress? Mister?” He asked, becoming more confused the more he thought about it, making me chuckle.

“Just friends?” I asked, bringing his attention back to the original conversation.

“Just friends.” He repeated.

“Okay, but Logan, if we do this then there needs to be some rules.” I said, I didn’t want this becoming an even bigger mess than it already was.

“Okay …” He replied, drawing the word out.

“No touching, kissing, flirting, no teasing Angel, and definitely no referring to that night.” I ended in a blush as I remembered exactly what happened that night.

“No touching, huh?” He asked before pushing back from the tree, stepping towards me. “Not at all?” He asked as he leaned in close enough to feel the heat of his breath against my skin, but not close enough to touch me.

Breathless, I nodded my head to his question.

“Okay, I can live with that.” He said quickly before moving away from my body, causing me to breathe quickly to stop my erratic heart from bursting from my chest.

“Good.” I said with a tight smile. “I need to go. I said I would meet Low to study.”

The sudden urge to kiss Logan’s full lips was so strong. It hit me at full force, so I lied. Just being around Logan did things to my body I couldn’t control, and right now I needed that control.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sure.” I said as I started walking towards the dorms. “Lover.” I shouted over my shoulder quickly, chuckling at Logan’s confused face.

“Huh?”

“A male mistress is called a lover.” I said as I broke out into giggles. God he was cute when he looked confused.

Ah, shut up, Neva!

Over the next couple of days, things went back to normal, well whatever ‘normal’ is. My days were crammed with exams, assignments and figuring Angel out. Something was off, if I asked Angel to come over there always seemed to be an excuse that he couldn’t make it and when I did see him he wasn’t himself. He was edgy, skittish, and usually in a bad mood.

The day Angel snapped was a Thursday. I had received a text from him telling me he would be over in ten minutes. Pulling out my lyrics for a song I was working on. I decided to work on it as I waited for him to show up.

Four hours passed … He didn’t show up.

It was 3:00 am when I finally got a call from him. To say I was unhappy was an understatement and what made it worse was that he was drunk, absolutely wasted.

“Baby, I’m soooo sorry! Some friends came over with some beers and I forgot the time.” He slurred. I wouldn’t normally have minded, but I had no idea who his friends were, seeing as he hadn’t introduced me to any. He seemed to prefer his own company.

“Could you maybe next time text me to let me know? It’s 3:00 am, Angel!” I said, becoming more frustrated with all the noise in the background. It sounded more like he was in a bar than at his house.

“You’re not my fucking keeper, Neva!” Angel spat, completely taking me by surprise.

But before I could respond, the line went dead, wow!

Sleep didn’t come easily that night as my mind went into overdrive. I wondered what the hell was going on with Angel and why had he gone off like that? Was he really with his friends? I had only met one of his friends, and that was Dex. Was he seeing someone else? Ugh, I was such a hypocrite.

The next morning, Angel couldn’t have been any more apologetic. He wrapped his arms around my waist as soon as I opened my dorm room door, begging me to forgive him.

“Baby, I’m so sorry about last night, some of the guys turned up from Bones.” He sighed as he placed his face into the crook of my neck, gently placing his lips against my skin beneath the shell of my ear. “I drank a little too much and … I’m so sorry for shouting at you like that, baby.”

His voice vibrated against my neck as he lay feather-light kisses, his touch dancing across my skin. I felt his tongue dart out, tasting the saltiness of my skin as he slowly ran it over the sensitive spot at the hollow of my neck.

“I forgive you.” Why was I mad at him again? I ran my hands through his beautifully thick dark hair, scratching his scalp before pulling his hair with a tug, bringing his face eye level with mine.

“Just don’t do it again.” I said before quickly pulling his lips to mine, a groan escaping his lips as our lips met. The hint of last night’s Jack Daniels and fresh mint toothpaste hit me as he slowly ran his tongue over my bottom lip, it was a dangerous cocktail and I was addicted.

Angel’s tongue slowly sought mine. Both his hands gently cradled my face. His lips were so soft against my own, taking me completely by surprise. Angel had never kissed me like this, so soft and slow. Our relationship was built on intense heat and desire but this was different, this was … this was slow and deliberate. Making me rethink everything I ever knew about Angel, everything I felt for him.

“The thought of being without you kills me. I need you, Neva, I need … us.” He said gently against my lips, the whisper of his voice vibrated straight through to my core.

“I need you, too.” I said without hesitation, before crashing my lips to his, pulling a deep and carnal groan from his lips. His tongue quickly found mine once again, exploring my mouth with sheer determination as if searching for the lost treasure in the deepest seas. The strokes of his tongue against mine were as soft as pure silk, his hands sliding down to my waist before settling on my ass.

“I am going to show you just how much I need you, just how much you need me. I won’t finish until I have you screaming my name.” Angel promised against my mouth, lifting me up off of the ground as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

Walking towards my bed, Angel slowly lowered me down, feeling the soft sheets against my back. A whimper quickly escaped my lips as Angel crawled up my body, his left knee pressed tight against my core.

“I’ve fallen, Neva.” Angel whispered against my skin, nuzzling his nose into my neck. My breathing turning into hard pants as I took in what Angel was say. “I’ve fallen hard. I want you to fall with me. Fall with me, Neva … Let me show you just how much I need you, how much you need me. How much I …” He quickly closed his eyes tight, as if mustering the courage he needed from deep within him. I watched in anticipation as he slowly opened his eyes, I suddenly gasped as I noticed his eyes had glossed over, the emotion evident as his deep blue eyes turned a few shades darker. “How desperate I am for you, you are the music to my soul, Neva, you brought me back to life again. The word ‘love’ doesn’t even come close to what I feel for you. I need you and right now … I need you to need me too.”

“My fallen Angel, I need you too … Desperately.”

Before I could even react, Angel’s lips crashed against mine. The deliciousness of his unique taste pushed my mind towards the edge, teetering so close to the cliff. Damn, I was ready to jump.

“Angel.” I moaned against his lips, knowing just a whisper of his name was enough to send him crazy.

“Neva, I need you. Now.” He growled, hitching my right leg around his waist before taking the kiss deeper. I moaned when Angel’s tongue teased my bottom lip, desperately seeking entry. “Baby, let me make love to you.” He pleaded, peppering my neck with slow and deliberate kisses, splintering my mind in half. Angel consumes me, his kisses scorch me, his touch brands me … like nothing else.

“Yes, Angel.” I moaned, walking backwards towards my bed. Angel was undoing me, making me his. He could make me forget my own damn name in a single heartbeat.

His hands quickly grasped my waist, guiding me further up the bed, his eyes never leaving mine as he crawled up the bed with me. His penetrating gaze marking me with every fleeting second, I needed him … more than he would ever know.

The tank top and boy shorts that were once secured to my body were now on the floor in a crumpled heap. I was once again naked under Angel’s body. Watching as he slowly took in my body, his fingertips slowly running up the center of my stomach, leaving behind a wake of goose bumps.

“Jesus, Neva.” He whispered, locking his gaze with my own before swiftly removing his shirt and jeans. “You’re so damn beautiful.” He threw the last of his clothing on the floor alongside mine.

I gasped, which was followed quickly by a moan as Angel’s finger slowly slid in between my wet folds, making my head swim with unfaltering pleasure. Biting my lip, I watched as Angel ran his fingers through my warmth, taking in every single hard ridge of his defined body. He was amazingly beautiful, and he was all mine.

“Angel … please.” I begged, I needed him and I didn’t want to wait another minute.

“What do you need, Neva? Tell me.” He asked, lowering his lips to my neck, teasing me as his tongue gently probed my skin.

“I … I, oh God.” I moaned, my brain-to-mouth filter was becoming tangled as Angel gently nipped my neck while his fingers explored my sex, gliding with ease.

“Tell me want you need, Neva.” He repeated, carrying on the onslaught of all but teasing me into a coma with one hand, while pulling out a condom and taking it between his teeth. Ripping open the packet, I watched as he rolled the condom over his length, pleasure clouding my vision when I suddenly felt his hardness against my opening. “Tell me, Neva.” He repeated as he held his lips inches away from mine, knowingly pushing me to the edge.

“I … I want you to make love to me Angel.”

“Fuck …” He growled against my lips before grazing his lips against mine, his hardness slowly pushing into my entrance as his tongue met mine. My back arched as Angel pushed in to the hilt, filling me until I saw stars.