Fine Lines - SA (8 page)

"Oh, piss off," he said, and locked himself in a cubicle.

By halfway through the next week, I had heard two pieces of gossip stemming from that evening. One was good, one bad. The bad came from Miriam. She came into the gal ery on Monday afternoon, brimming with apologies and scandal.

"You're becoming quite a regular visitor," I said.

"I know. I'l be buying one of your bloody paintings next. Is there any chance of a coffee? I'd kil for some caffeine."

"I'l get it," Anna said.

Miriam flopped down into a chair. "I've come to apologise."

"Whatever for?"

"Saturday bloody night. It was awful."

"Of course it wasn't!" I lied.

"Donald, we both know perfectly wel it was. And I want to apologise for Jessica, as wel . She's a bloody pain in the neck sometimes. And that was one of them. Thanks, Anna." She took the coffee. "No, I should have known better than to expose innocents to her when she's in one of those moods. She can be awful y nice sometimes, but you wouldn't think so from hearing her going off then. I could have cheerful y strangled her."

"She was rather overbearing. But you can't hold yourself responsible for your guests."

"Wel , perhaps not. But it was my fault for inviting her in the first place. I thought there might be some friction between her and Zeppo, but I didn't expect her to go for his throat. I didn't realise he was a model, and as soon as I heard him say that, I knew we were in for it."

"She did seem to take a dislike to him," Anna said, grinning. Miriam snorted.

"I would imagine it was mutual. I real y could have kil ed her."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about it if I were you," I said. "I don't think Zeppo's the type to be easily upset."

She hesitated. "No, so I've heard," she said, pointedly. "How do you come to know him, anyway?" I was instantly wary. "Through mutual friends, real y."

"He's not a close friend of yours, or anything, then?"

"Wel , I don't suppose I've known him very long, but he seems likeable enough," I said, torn between endorsing him and not wanting to be too closely affiliated in case she knew something incriminating.

"Ah." Miriam sipped her coffee. It was clear she had information to divulge. I was by no means sure I wanted to hear it. Certainly not then, in front of Anna. But it would have seemed unnatural not to ask.

"Why?" I hoped I sounded casual. Miriam put her cup down. I could see that nothing could have prevented her tel ing us anyway.

"Oh, I just wondered. I was talking to someone yesterday who knew him.

Or knew of him, at any rate."

"Who was that?"

"An old friend of mine. He went out with her niece for a while." I was relieved. Whatever she knew, it was not the same information I had. That would have been disastrous. "I gather she told you something about him?"

"She did indeed. According to her, he's a real monster. Gave her niece a terrible time. Walked al over her, let her know he was seeing other girls. Al sorts of things. Final y, the sil y girl threatened to cut her wrists. I suppose she was hoping to frighten him. The next day she had a parcel delivered. A packet of razor blades in a red velvet box." I instinctively glanced at Anna. She looked shocked. "She didn't use them, did she?"

"No, thank God. When he did that she came to her senses. Realised what a shit he was and pul ed herself together."

"Perhaps he's just a shrewd judge of human nature," I said, furious with her. "That could have been what he intended." Miriam was unconvinced. "It might have been, but my friend seemed to doubt it. And even if it was, he was stil taking a hel of a risk."

I smiled. "It's a pity he didn't have a box handy on Saturday night.

We could have presented them to Jessica."

Deflected back to her dismal party, Miriam laughed embarrassedly. "God, yes. I think I'd have even held her down while someone used them." She chatted some more, but she had finished what she came to do. An apology on the one hand, a character assassination on the other. When she had gone I turned to Anna.

"That was rather surprising about Zeppo. I didn't think he was the type to do something like that."

"No, neither did I. Just goes to show you never can tel ." I busied myself with a catalogue. "If that is what happened. Miriam's stories do tend to be a bit apocryphal at the best of times, and a third-hand version from someone's aunt hardly seems to be the most reliable source. I'm sure Zeppo wouldn't do a thing like that." I stopped before I became too defensive.

It was best to dismiss it. I closed the catalogue. "Anyway, if her taste in art was anything like Miriam's, I couldn't blame him if he had." We laughed.

The second piece of slander came from Zeppo, and was much more encouraging. I had not heard anything from him since Saturday, and suspected that his silence was a display of petulance after his loss of face. But by mid-week he had presumably licked his wounds enough to feel like talking to me again.

"It's Donald," I said when he answered the phone. "I've been trying to get in touch with you." I kept my voice neutral.

"I've been away. I can go away, can't I?"

"Of course. I simply wondered where you were. I've been trying to get hold of you for days."

"Wel , now you have, so what's your problem?" His moodiness was beginning to annoy me. "The problem is that in future I would appreciate it if you would at least let me know when you're planning to take a holiday." I had not intended to argue, but I was not going to be spoken to like that.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. What would you like a written apology on your desk by tomorrow morning? With detention for spel ing mistakes?"

"There's no need to be facetious."

"Stop acting as though you fucking own me then! If I want to go away for a day, or two days, or a fucking month I wil , and I don't expect you to get on my back about it! Okay?"

I was astonished by his outburst. "May I remind you that I'm paying you for this?"

"You're paying me to do a job, and I'm doing it. I don't have to take shit from you as wel . If you're going to start acting the big boss, you can find someone else to get into your girlfriend's pants. If you can. Understand?" I took a deep breath. I realised this was only Zeppo's way of reasserting himself after Saturday. It was better to let it pass. I stil had a trump card he was unaware of, but I was not going to throw it away in the heat of the moment. It would be al the sweeter when he final y realised that, whether he wanted to or not, he would do as I told him.

"I think you've made yourself perfectly clear," I said.

"Good." Neither of us spoke for a moment. I cleared my throat. "If you've got that out of your system, I cal ed because I thought you ought to know Miriam came into the gal ery yesterday."

"So?"

"Apparently you used to be … acquainted ... with a niece of one of her friends." I repeated what she had told us about the razor blades.

It immediately put him in a better mood.

"Christ, I'd forgotten al about that." He laughed. "Shit, what was her name? Carol? Susan? I can't remember. Did she use them?"

"Don't you know?"

"Why should I? I was hardly going to phone her to see if she'd committed suicide, was I?"

"Wel , she didn't. Apparently the razor blades shocked her out of it."

"Pity. I liked the idea of someone kil ing themself over me."

"Yes, wel , as sorry as I am to disappoint you, that's not the main issue, is it? The point is that Anna knows about it."

"So what?"

"So it hardly shows you in the best of lights, does it? We've spent al this time trying to create a good impression, and now this happens!"

"Donald, you worry too much. And you might have been trying to convince her that I'm nice and wholesome, but I haven't. That doesn't get you into bed with someone. The idea is to fire her with passion, not get her to vote me neighbour of the year."

"Yes, but even so'

"Trust me. It'l only make me seem more exciting. Girls love bastards. Al it's going to do is make her more intrigued." He paused, dramatical y. "And from what I've been told about Marty, she's probably desperate for somebody to give her a good time." I was clearly supposed to ask what that meant. I did.

"Can you remember the guy with dreadlocks on Saturday night?" he went on, appeased. "Wel , he's gay, and guess who he said he's seen hanging around gay clubs?" I was incredulous. "Marty?"

"Bingo."

"Are you sure?"

"Stevie was. After you'd al gone he said he recognised him from a club cal ed the Pink Flamingo."

"Is he certain it was Marty?"

"He said so. He remembered him because he was always alone and never spoke to anyone. Just sat there by himself

"That doesn't necessarily mean he's homosexual, does it?" Zeppo laughed. "If you can think of any other reason for going to a place where the waiters are topless and wear leather chaps, I'd like to hear it." I was prepared to believe almost anything of Marty. But this seemed too incredible. "Perhaps he didn't realise it was a gay club."

"Be serious." I stil could not accept it. "But what about Anna?"

"What about her? He might be bi, or trying to go straight." He chuckled. "Face it, Donald. Our Marty's a closet queen."

"My God." I did not know what to make of this at al . "Why didn't you tel me straight away?"

"What for? I've told you now haven't I? You couldn't have done anything if I had." Zeppo's revenge on me for laughing at him. "Do you think Anna knows?"

"I've no idea. I think she ought to, though, don't you?"

"You're going to tel her?"

"It's worth thinking about. But not just yet. It could easily piss her off at me if I'm not careful. Particularly if she already knows.

So I think we should just bear it in mind for now, and see what happens. It's always nice to keep something in reserve."

I could not agree more. "So what do you intend to do next?"

"Wel , al things considered, I think it's time to make a move."

"So soon? I thought you were going to take things slowly?"

"What do you think I've been doing? Jesus, you don't think I normal y wait this long, do you?"

"I stil think it's too early. We can't afford any setbacks."

"There won't be any."

"I don't know ..."

"Look, I don't tel you how to run a gal ery, do I? So don't try and tel me how to fuck a girl." His crudeness grated, but I thought it wiser to overlook it. "I'm not.

I simply don't want anything to go wrong."

"Donald, believe me, I know what I'm doing. She's primed and ready.

It's Tuesday today. By next weekend, I'l have had her." Despite his indelicacy, I felt my chest tighten with excitement.

"You're sure?"

"Positive." I hesitated, wondering how much to tel him. "There's one thing. I don't want you to do anything without letting me know first."

"What?"

"I want you to tel me when you think something's actual y going to happen. I want to know beforehand."

"You're joking!"

"No." There was an incredulous pause. "So if Anna decides to tear her pants off and throw herself at me, I've got to say, "Hang on, I've just got to tel Donald?" '

"I'm sure someone with your experience can arrange things better than that."

"For Christ's sake, though, why? What difference does it make?"

"Probably none. But I stil want to know." I heard him snort, exasperated. "Are you frightened I'l make it up, or something? What do you want to do, examine the sheets afterwards?"

"I simply don't want to find out after the event, that's al ." It was not al , but it was al he needed to know just then. "If anything happens without my knowledge then the entire arrangement is off. I won't give you a penny. Is that clear?"

"Jesus! Yes, al right, Donald, I get the message. Thy wil be done.

I promise not to shaft her without asking your permission first.

Okay?"

"Thank you."

"Am I permitted to come into the gal ery tomorrow and speak to her? Or is that asking too much?"

"There's no need to be childish. What do you have in mind?"

"I thought I'd take her out to lunch. If that's al right with you, of course. You'l have to be too busy to come with us. Don't worry though, we'l go to a no-shagging restaurant." I ignored the comment.

I was nervous al next morning. Apart from anything else, I was stil worried how Anna would feel about Zeppo after what Miriam had said. But when he arrived she seemed to act normal y towards him. When he offered to buy lunch, however, I noticed that she glanced at me to see what my answer would be. I declined. "The two of you wil just have to make do without me," I added, hoping to force her hand. Anna hesitated briefly, then accepted.

I watched them as they left the gal ery. They looked right together.

Anna was laughing as they walked past the window. If she had been disturbed by Miriam's story, she was not showing it now. I continued looking out through the window after they had gone, and then turned and faced the empty gal ery. I had an hour to pass before they returned.

I telephoned for a sandwich to be delivered. While I waited I wondered what Zeppo would say to her, and tried to imagine how she would respond. I pictured various scenarios, but the only ones I could visualise clearly al ended in failure. When I imagined Anna throwing wine in Zeppo's face and walking out, I stopped myself. I looked at my watch. Only ten minutes had passed. They would only just have reached the restaurant.

My sandwich arrived, but I had no appetite. I listlessly picked the prawns from it, and dithered about the gal ery, straightening frames, adjusting magazines. Anything to pass the time. I looked at my watch again, re-straightened the same picture frames. There were people I could telephone, but my lack of interest outweighed the time it would occupy. I could concentrate on nothing except the increasingly slow progress of the hands of my watch.

Then, suddenly, there were only fifteen minutes left. The minutes that had crawled by now seemed to run away, and I grew more nervous as each one disappeared. My stomach began to complain. I went to the office where I kept a packet of indigestion tablets, and as I chewed one I heard the door open downstairs.