First Chances (24 page)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Hadie

My tears were still fresh when I walked into my house.

Shutting the front door behind me, I quickly wiped them away before my parents noticed.

I wasn’t mad at Eddie for reacting the way he had—it was completely understandable—but my heart was definitely heavy that things hadn’t worked out the way I had hoped they would.

Eddie hadn’t exactly rejected me, but he hadn’t accepted me either. It kind of felt like I was in limbo, which is probably what I deserved for being so hot and cold with Eddie these past few months.

Chance and Halo immediately ran up to greet me, tails wagging. I reached down to scratch them both behind the ears with each hand. Chance rolled his head to the side, eyes closed; Halo had his tongue hanging out of his mouth, making it look as though he was grinning at me.

Straightening up, I headed to the kitchen to see if my parents were there. The dogs padded after me, wanting to be wherever I was.

When I didn’t find my parents in the kitchen, I headed upstairs to their room. Theirs was the biggest one to the left of the staircase with its own adjoining bathroom just like my room had. The door was slightly ajar, so I hesitated outside and knocked first, just in case they were getting it on.

“Come in,” Mom called out, her voice sounding strange and muffled.

Pushing the door open, I found my mom sitting on her bedroom floor. There was a small box in front of her and photos lying on the floor. A box of tissues were beside her, and she pulled one out and blew her nose.

“Mom, what’s wrong?” Worry surged through me as I walked inside and joined her on the floor. “Where’s Dad? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s fine.” She sniffled, laughing a little as though she was embarrassed that I’d found her in this state. “Your father went to pick up a pizza. I got a little nostalgic and started looking through old pictures.”

Curiosity trickled through me as I stared around at all the pictures. What exactly had made her cry?

Then my eyes fell on the pictures directly in front of her. Me—she was crying over pictures of me. Just from a quick glance, I could tell they were pictures from over the years, especially ones from when I had been a little kid.

“Oh, Mom.” I sighed, leaning over and giving her a tight squeeze. “I’m sorry I make you cry. Is it because I’m hideous?”

She laughed again, handing me the picture she’d been holding. It was a picture from the day I’d been born. My mom was lying in the hospital bed, and it was incredible how much I looked like her. I was in her arms, wrapped up in a yellow blanket. Dad was leaning over beside her, looking down at me with pure joy on his face.

“This one is my favorite,” she said, misty-eyed. “This was the day I realized how deeply you could love someone.”

I was silent as I stared at the picture, feeling numb. In six, short months that would be me. I would be the one lying in a hospital bed holding my baby.

My baby. The concept still seemed foreign to me. I wondered if it was something I would become used to as time went on. Still, what if I wasn’t prepared by the time the baby came?

“What if I’m not as great as you and Dad are?” I asked, voicing my fear aloud. “What if I do everything wrong?”

Mom studied me for a long moment before sifting through the box. Finally, she pulled out a picture and handed it to me. It was one where I looked to be about a year old. I was standing up, balancing precariously on my chubby legs. My mom was standing a couple of feet in front of me, her arms outstretched as though she was ready to catch me if I fell.

“That was the day you took your first steps,” she explained, as I continued staring at the image. “I’ll never forget that moment as I looked at you and realized that you had taken the first steps that would begin your journey through this world. As a mother, I worried about you constantly. The older you got, the smarter you became, and all I did was worry. I confess, I would keep your father up late sometimes wondering if I was doing everything wrong.”

It was ridiculous that my mother had even had thoughts like that. She was the best mother I could ever ask for. “Mom, you did everything right,” I told her.

She gave me a bitter smile. “Yet you still ended up pregnant at seventeen.”

Her words stunned me. “You think this is your fault?” I asked.

“I’m not sure. All I know is you are a capable, young woman and I hope that we’ve raised you well enough so that you can navigate parenthood as best as you can.” I handed the picture back to Mom and she placed it back in the box. “Your father and I were in our late twenties when we had you, and we still weren’t prepared. Being a parent is all about trial and error. The most important thing is love.”

Love.

I let her words sink in, knowing she was right. My parents had raised me well. I would use the example they had set and try to become as wonderful as they were. Yet, the thing that bothered me most was that my baby would lack a father. I had the greatest father in the world—something my baby wouldn’t have.

“What is it, honey?” Mom asked, noticing that I’d fallen silent.

I heaved a sigh. “I wish Lincoln was still here. I wish my baby could have a father.”

Even though I knew that all the wishes in the world couldn’t bring Lincoln back, I still thought about how different things would be if he were still alive.

“I know.” Mom nodded, her eyes sad. “Lincoln was a wonderful person; he would have made a great father.”

He was definitely one of the most wonderful people I’d ever met—the other person happened to be Eddie. Eddie Cavallari. My heart still hurt when I thought about him and his reaction to finding out about the baby.

“I told Eddie.”

“You did?” Mom’s eyes widened. “How did he take it?”

There wasn’t really any way to answer that question, considering his response had been mainly ambiguous.

“He didn’t really say anything other than he needed time to think.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “I told him I’d lied about Three to protect him from the real issue. He seemed to understand that part at least, but the rest was a shock.”

“Understandably,” Mom said. “Your dad and I are in our forties and we’re shocked. Eddie is so young. To learn that the girl he is in love with is having someone else’s baby is extremely heartbreaking.”

Of course it was. And I needed to come to terms with the fact that Eddie might never be okay with the baby. He might never want to be with me. Realistically, this could be the end of Eddassah.

“That’s true,” I trailed off, trying to figure out exactly why I couldn’t accept his reaction. “I guess I wished things could turn out differently.”

Obviously, they couldn’t. I had made my choice.

“Honestly, Hadie,” Mom continued, her expression serious. “Boys shouldn’t be your concern right now. There is something bigger than that right now.”

“I know.” I stared down at the pictures, trying not to cry.

Crying over a boy when there was a life growing inside me—how petty was that? A boy should be the last thing on my mind right now. Everything my mom was saying made complete sense, yet it didn’t stop my heart from hurting. I wasn’t a robot—I couldn’t just wipe away my feelings as though they had never existed.

“But that doesn’t mean that your happiness isn’t important too,” Mom said, her tone softening. “Eddie has an amazing soul; give him time to process everything that he’s found out.”

To be honest, I was relieved by what she was saying. I didn’t want to be a stupid girl who only thought about a boy, but what if that boy was my whole world? It was hard not to think about the possibility of a relationship—of a life—with Eddie.

“It’s hard,” I admitted.

“Everything is going to be hard from now on.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. “But remember something—your father and I will always be here for you. Always.”

Comfort, love, safety wrapped around my heart as I gazed at mother. I hoped that I could give my own child this feeling one day—the feeling of being loved unconditionally.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Eddie

My mind was tangled string as I walked into school, head bowed. People were moving around me, but I wasn’t paying attention to them, letting myself be jostled along by the crowd. Without really meaning to, I realized I was heading down the hall towards Hadie’s locker. Hadie—that’s who I was trying to find.

The way I’d left things yesterday had been terrible, and I knew Hadie deserved a better reaction than one where I simply walked away. But her words had come so left field that I hadn’t been prepared. I’d been prepared for everything except that.

What really mattered was she’d told me that she’d lied about Three. I mean, that was what had hit me the hardest—the thought that she had picked him over me. What was important was she had made that up to protect me.

Which made sense in a strange sort of way. She had done it because she cared about me and had wanted me to live a normal, teen life.

“Eddie!” The cry pierced my thoughts.

Lifting my head, I saw Elly running down the hallway towards me, her long hair streaming behind her like a brown banner. Her face was distraught, as though something terrible had happened.

“What’s wrong?” I asked right away, dread settling in the pit of my stomach.

“It’s-” she gasped, trying to catch her breath. “Hadie. In the. Hallway. Kance.”

My heart dropped out of my chest. A shiver ran through my body. I didn’t wait to hear the rest of what she was saying. Somehow, I already knew.

My feet began to fly as I raced down the hallway, with Elly trying to keep up with me. My mind was in a state of panic. If Kance had somehow found out about Hadie being pregnant, there was no way she would go easy on her.

“Where?” I demanded, as the hallway split into two directions.

“Left!” Elly gasped, completely out of breath.

I turned the corner sharply, almost running right into a bunch of juniors. I was in too much of a hurry to bother apologizing. I had to get to Hadie. I had to save her from Kance.

And that’s when I saw the telltale crowd up ahead that had gathered around the girls. Pushing my through the students, I made my way to the middle of the circle, catching Hadie’s words.

“What are you talking about?”

Even though I couldn’t see her face, I could hear the fear in her voice. She knew Kance had let her off easy the last time because of the leverage I’d had on her—this time there was no way Kance was going to back down.

As I moved closer to Hadie, I noticed Estella and Mariah were by her side, and that my own friends were standing just behind them. As usual, Kance was accompanied by her braindead lackeys.

“You know what I’m talking about.” Kance was circling Hadie like a shark as she spoke. “Your little
bundle of joy
.”

“How did you find out?” Hadie asked in a small voice.

Obviously, she hadn’t told many people about being pregnant, so she was probably wondering if someone had betrayed her trust.

Kance grinned when she caught sight of me. “Let’s just say Eddie’s not the only one with connections at the hospital.”

My insides burned with anger.

“Fuck off, Kance,” I shot at her, making Hadie jump. “Don’t you have something better to do?” Like screw the coach.

I could tell that Kance knew what I meant, because she narrowed her icy eyes at me. “Not really. What’s better than a pregnancy story?”

Every single person let out an audible gasp at her words. This was the story of the year: good girl turned bad Hadie Swinton was pregnant.

Beside me, Hadie was pressing her lips together as her face turned pale. She looked like she was about to either pass out or puke all over Kance. I wouldn’t be surprised if she did either one; Kance was pretty nasty to look at.

“Nothing, really,” Kance’s dimwitted friend answered for her. I couldn’t remember the girl’s name, but she was the one who had reported back to Kance about seeing Hadie with Three at the bar.

“I guess you really are a slut like they used to say,” Kance sneered.

I reached over and took Hadie’s hand in mine, and maybe that simple gesture was enough to breathe some courage into her. Hadie turned her head to look at me, and I gave her the faintest smile, letting her know that I was here for her.

Hadie straightened up, her entire demeanor changing. She glared at Kance. “You were the one who used to say.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Kance flipped her dark curls over her shoulder. “Well, I guess I’m never wrong.”

I stared Kance down, hating everything about her from her skimpy cheerleader’s outfit to her perfectly manicured nails. This girl didn’t have a conscience; she didn’t care what she did or who she hurt.

For a second, I wondered what made Kance the person she was and why she treated people this way. But that mystery wasn’t going to be solved today; for now, all that mattered was standing up for the girl I loved.

“What about that time you had herpes?” a voice spoke up from the crowd. “That was pretty wrong.”

It was Ashton. She made her way into the middle of the circle and stood beside me, staring right at Kance. There were a few laughs and snickers. Despite Kance having Queen Bee status, no one really liked her, so it was always entertaining to everyone when she was put in her place.

“No one cares what you have to say, Ashton,” Kance snapped, her face flushing bright pink. “I think we’re all more concerned about Hadie having the baby of a Madden gang member. I mean, really, what an insult to Lincoln’s memory.”

There were gasps of disbelief; cries of surprise; some ‘oohs’—everyone was blown away by this revelation. It was a wild, thrilling story—the good girl was going to have a thug’s baby. Thrilling, if it actually had a single ounce of truth to it.

“The baby is mine.”

The words left my mouth before I even knew what I was really saying. Hadie’s head turned to me so fast that I was worried she’d give herself whiplash.

“What?” The evil look melted right off Kance’s face. “Yours?”

“Yes,” I confirmed, wrapping an arm around Hadie’s shoulders. “We’re going to be parents and we’re fucking thrilled.”

“You’re lying,” Kance scowled at me, her voice dripping with anger. “There is no way that baby is yours.

I straightened up, done with Kance’s bullshit. Hadie and I had bigger things to worry about than Kance Logan. This was the end—Kance was not going to interfere in our lives anymore.

“Well,” I began, stepping forward to meet her, “if Hadie is as big of a slut as you claim then I think it’s perfectly believable. However, at least she didn’t fuck Coach West.” I slowly began to circle Kance, my eyes never leaving her. “Unlike you.”

I stopped pacing as Kance shot me a death glare. “That’s a lie.” She tossed her head, addressing the people standing around us who were already starting to whisper. “He’s lying to distract you from his whore baby mama.”

My fists clenched, but I tried to keep my anger in check. I noticed Ashton bristle, but I shot her a look of warning. I had this under control.

“Well, actually, I’ve been in contact with a good friend of mine, Mark Anderson.” Kance froze as she heard this. “I asked if he had a certain video that he’d filmed last year. And do you know what?” I leaned in closer to Kance, and I could see fear in her eyes. “He still does, and he was nice enough to send it to me.”

“Don’t,” Kance snarled, radiating pure evil. “Don’t do it, or I will ruin you.”

“Then leave Hadie alone. Leave us alone,” I warned, my tone low, dangerous. “Or I will ruin
you
, and I won’t feel bad about it for a single fucking second.”

Kance and I stared each other down for several long seconds, neither of us blinking. It was a game of poker, of chess, of intimidation—I would not make the next move; I would not break. Finally, Kance clenched her jaw and stepped away from me, motioning to her minions. “C’mon, they’re not worth it.”

With that, Kance and her friends pushed people aside and made their way out of the circle. Letting out a huge breath, I finally let my tense shoulders relax. I had been totally bluffing, of course. I hadn’t contacted Mark, and I definitely didn’t know if he still had the video of Kance and Coach West getting it on. Still, I was relieved that my bluff had worked.

“Eddie?” Hadie said softly.

I turned around to see Hadie was watching me with confusion. Our friends were standing around us, staring at me as though I’d done the unthinkable. In a way, I guess I kind of had.

It looked like Riley was about to say something, but Stacey nudged him, gesturing to Hadie and me. Ashton took Luca by the arm and guided him a few feet away. The rest of our friends followed suit, and I was glad that the girls realized that Hadie and I needed a moment alone.

“Hey,” I said, feeling awkward as I ran a hand through my hair.

“How did you do that?” Hadie asked in wonder.

“I just have awesome skills,” I joked.

Now probably wasn’t the time to be joking around, but I didn’t know what else to say. The expression on Hadie’s face was so serious that I couldn’t fathom what was running through her mind.

“Why did you say the baby was ours?” She hesitated, biting her bottom lip. “Last night you just left. You acted like-”

“I know,” I cut her off, stroking the side of her face. “I was overwhelmed. I needed some time to think. And I did, and I decided what I wanted to do.”

“This isn’t your problem, Eddie. It’s mine,” she said softly, wisps of brown hair falling into her face as she stared down at her feet. “You don’t have to deal with it. You can leave if you want to.”

I reached out and grasped her small hand in mine. “That’s the thing, Hadie; I don’t want to leave. I’m exactly where I want to be.”