First Chances (5 page)

“It’s nice that he cares about you,” Three said, his tone turning solemn for a second.

There was something about him, something that he never spoke about, but I could tell it was from having a rough life. For a second, I considered asking him about it, but quickly pushed the thought away.

My relationship with Three wasn’t about in-depth conversation and difficult questions. It was about having fun and letting go. We didn’t need to dwell on all that serious stuff.

“Yes, it is,” I said simply.

If he wanted to elaborate on his words, he was more than welcome to, but I knew he wouldn’t. That wasn’t how our arrangement worked.

“So, the usual spot?” he asked.

I nodded without hesitation, loving that he never tried to deviate from the routine we had going.

“Then get on,” he said, climbing onto his motorcycle.

Without hesitation, I climbed on after him, feeling somewhat like a motorcycle-embarking pro. Two weeks ago, I’d almost fallen off the other side because I was gravitationally challenged. Luckily, I had quickly learned how to balance myself better after that initial disaster.

A thrill shot through me as his motorcycle roared to life and he sped off down the street. At first I closed my eyes, but after a while I opened them so I could see the world soar past me in a rush of colors.

Being around Three didn’t exactly make me feel safe and I liked that feeling.

Very soon, we were driving down a familiar road that was covered by thick woods on both sides. Three pulled the bike over on the side of the road, knowing the spot we frequented even in the darkness.

To anyone else, it looked like an unimportant place to spend our time, but to me it meant the world. This was a place special to Lincoln and me—the first place we had had sex, the first place he had taught me to let go of all the bullshit. He had made me stand on the edge of the clearing and declare to the world that I wasn’t going to give into its games.

That was why I liked coming back here—because I felt a sense of empowerment being reminded of that night with Lincoln. The night Eddie had discovered Three and me on the side of the road had been at this exact spot. But neither Eddie nor Three knew what this place meant to me, and they didn’t need to.

‘C’mon,” Three said, pulling a bottle of Fireball out of the storage compartment and heading into the darkness of the trees.

Hurrying after him, I wrapped my arms around myself tighter, trying to fight the cold. I wasn’t sure why Three did this with me—spent cold nights doing nothing but drinking, but I knew he was blowing off his friends for me. They would always call, wondering what he was doing, and he would make up an excuse as to why he couldn’t hang out with them.

We didn’t hold hands as we walked through the silent trees, which was fine with me. Instead, I walked a few steps behind him, watching his lean muscular figure as it guided me down to a clearing. Lincoln and I had never come here, but Three and I hung out here because we could light a fire to stay warm.

Three handed me the bottle of Fireball and immediately got to work making a fire. He’d left a canister of gasoline here, and there was plenty of dry wood to set alight. He pulled out a silver lighter from his pocket and used it to light the wood.

I sat down on the ground not too far from the woodpile and watched him, taking a generous sip from the bottle that made my insides burn. Maybe it was stupid of me to come out here by myself with a guy I hadn’t known for very long, but whatever, I was taking chances and doing things differently.

Once the fire was going, Three sat down beside me, and took the Fireball from me. He pulled from it, watching me with gleaming eyes.

“Sooo, Hadie, what do you want to do tonight?” he asked, giving me a suggestive smile.

My neck flushed hot, which had nothing to do with the heat from the fire and everything to do with the way he was looking me over like he had something highly inappropriate on his mind.

Okay, let’s pause for a minute. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew what a guy like Three expected, but I wasn’t willing to give it up to him yet. Maybe not ever.

“What we do every night,” I said, my voice quiet as I leaned over to place a soft kiss on his lips.

Three grabbed the back of my head with his hand and deepened the kiss, crushing his mouth against mine as my mind wandered to a different boy with periwinkle blue eyes. It wasn’t that I wasn’t enjoying the kiss; Three was a great kisser. It was just that my heart wasn’t in it.

I pulled away, breaking the kiss as Three let out a groan. “How long are you gonna tease me for, Hadie?”

Lowering my gaze, I tried to figure out what to say. “I-uh, I just, I’m not ready yet.”

Three let out a deep breath and I looked up to see him take a gulp of the Fireball. He put the bottle aside and gave me a serious look. Oh, crap. I wasn’t ready for a serious conversation. I just wanted to get drunk and have a good time with him.

“Hadie, if you weren’t Estella’s best friend, I wouldn’t be treating you with the respect I am now. Usually, I like to get right to the fucking.”

I stared down at the ground, feeling uncomfortable. Three was so blunt about his feelings that sometimes I was completely tongue tied around him. Like now.

“I know,” I spluttered. “I just can’t yet.”

Three was very close to Stelle, which was the only reason I think he put up with me. And maybe because I was different to the girls he was used to.

“It’s not a big deal,” he said, handing me the Fireball. “Let’s just enjoy ourselves. Last time you started telling me about your asshole ex, Bennett.”

With a small smile, I took the bottle from him and took a swig, and just like that, we fell easily back into our usual routine. No pressure, no expectations.

Chapter Six

Eddie

“Hi, honey, are you off to practice?”

My mom was standing at the kitchen counter chopping up an onion, while Hailie sat at the kitchen table doing her homework. Since my mom had the night off work, I could finally go to Luca’s for practice. It was exactly what I needed since I had so much Hadie stuff on my mind.

“Yeah,” I said absently as I pulled on my jacket and grabbed the car keys off the counter.

“And you’re going to eat dinner there?” she asked.

“Yeah, I-” I stopped, squinting as I actually focused on her. “Uh, are you doing something
special
tonight?”

She was dressed a lot nicer than usual; her brown hair fell in perfect waves around her shoulders as though she’d spent a lot of time on it, and she had makeup on, with her hazel eyes rimmed in dark eyeliner. We shared the exact same features, while Hailie had definitely taken after dad.

Mom’s tan complexion flushed. “Um, what do you mean?”

I raised a brow, shooting her a look which meant something like: “don’t treat me like a five-year-old”.

Her ears turned pink this time, and I could see she was wracking her brains as she tried to figure out what to tell me. “Nothing special, Eddie. I just invited a friend over for dinner, that’s all.”

A friend? I raised both brows at her this time, but she averted her gaze and began speaking to Hailie in a flurried way. “How are you doing with your homework, Hails? Do you need any help?”

“I’m fine,” Hailie said, not looking up.

It was actually kind of cute watching her do homework. Her forehead and mouth were scrunched up as she concentrated on the textbook in front of her. I had never met a kid who actually enjoyed doing homework and who wanted to spend all their time making sure it was all perfect. Hailie was definitely on her way to being an academic.

“That’s great!” Mom said with way too much enthusiasm.

Shaking my head at her, I decided to drop the “friend” subject, but it was definitely something we needed to talk about, especially if this friend was a man.

“I’ll see you guys later. Enjoy dinner.”

“Love you, Eddison,” Mom said, reaching out to ruffle my hair as I walked past her and tried to dodge her hand.

“Love you!” Hailie chimed in.

“Love you, too!” I said with laugh, as Mom managed to wrestle a kiss onto my cheek.

Heading into the garage, I got into the car and backed out onto the street before driving straight to Luca’s house. He only lived five minutes away, but it got a lot colder at night and I didn’t want to walk back freezing my ass off.

When the weather was warmer, I would ride my bike over there instead, but I was starting to outgrow that, too. I needed my own car ASAP. It was just a matter of saving my measly paychecks.

As I pulled into Luca’s driveway a few minutes later, I saw Ashton leaving her house and walking towards me. She lived right next door and was often at the Byrons’ house, spending time with Luca and his mom, who was a single mother much like my own. Except Luca’s father had passed away in an unfortunate car accident, whereas mine was just an asshole.

“Hi, Eddie!” Ashton said with a wave as I got out of my car and waited for her to reach me.

“Hey, Ash,” I responded as we both proceeded to head up the front steps of the house.

“So, any progress with Hadie?” Ashton asked as she pulled open the unlocked door so we could walk into the house.

I shook my head, knowing I could talk to Ashton about anything. She and I had become pretty close since she’d started dating Luca, and once you overlooked all the mean shit she’d done in the past—bullying, her snobbery, and need to be popular—she was actually a great person. Hey, everyone deserved a second chance, even if they had been as terrible as she’d been.

“Absolutely nothing,” I admitted, as we entered the kitchen and made our way through the door just off to the side that led into the garage. “She’s moody all the time and can’t stand the sight of me.”

“Girls,” Ashton said with a dramatic roll of her eyes, making me crack up as we stepped into the garage.

“Hey, guys,” I said as a general greeting to my friends, who were hanging around the garage as they often did before practice.

Stacey and Elly were lounging on the couch, and Luca and Riley were tuning their guitars. Riley played bass, and Luca played lead guitar, while the drums were my specialty. Luca was also the lead singer and I sometimes did vocals, too. Riley, on the other hand, couldn’t sing to save his life.

“Okay, so I have a question for ya,” Riley said immediately, fixing me with a serious look.

Everyone, except for Ashton and me, let out a groan. Luca was shaking his head at the floor, and Stacey was glaring at Riley like he had done something wrong.

“We agreed we would ease him into it!” she snapped.

Riley shrugged a shoulder, looking sheepish. “I was easing.”

“What is it?” I asked, a sinking feeling in my stomach. I felt like I had completely missed something.

“Tell him, Elly,” Riley said with a sneaky smile.

Elly was looking at Riley as though she wanted to murder him. Sighing, she tucked her short, brown hair behind her ears and shot me an apologetic look. “Sorry, Eddie.” I had no idea what she was apologizing for. “Um, well, I saw your mom the other day.”

“Okay,” I said slowly as my forehead scrunched up in confusion. I wasn’t sure why this was such a big deal. “And?”

She squirmed, appearing uncomfortable, and looked over at Luca who gave her a reassuring nod. She turned back to me. “Well, she was with someone else. A guy around her age. They looked
close
.”

My chest clamped up and I realized why my friends were acting like this was a big deal. They didn’t know my dad had abandoned us, so to them it seemed as though my mom was doing something wrong by getting close to a random guy.

“Oh, yeah?” I asked, as though it wasn’t a big deal. I took a deep breath, trying to make the tightness in my chest go away. “Who was it?”

I’d had a suspicion my mom was seeing someone, and I was curious myself as to who this mystery man was.

Elly’s brows knitted together. “I’m not sure. I was too far away to see him. He was tall, had brown hair.”

Brown hair, huh? Just like eighty percent of the people in this goddamn town.

“It was probably just a friend from work,” I said with a shrug. “People have friends.”

Stacey shifted around on the couch. “Elly said it looked like they were being intimate. That doesn’t seem normal.”

A small wave of anger swept through me, and I stepped forward a little aggressively. “It’s really no one’s business what my mother does, okay?” There was no way in hell I was going to let them condemn her behavior. They didn’t have a fucking clue what she’d been through.

“Hey, man, it’s okay,” Luca said, cutting in and placing a calming hand on my arm. “We were just making sure everything was fine at home, that’s all. It’s no big deal. Let’s drop it and practice.”

“Yeah, okay.” I was breathing a little too heavily. I turned away from my friends so I could calm down before we started practice.

“Be back in a sec!” Riley cried out, hurrying out of the garage as though nothing had happened. It was probably his way of trying to smooth things over.

Ashton was still standing behind me, and gave me a probing look with her sky blue eyes. “Eddie,” she began in a low voice, “I’m always here for you if you need to talk about anything. I know all about disappointing fathers.”

With that, she gave me a small smile and walked past me as though our exchange had never happened.

She was right, though. She did know all about disappointing fathers. Her biological father had chosen not to be a part of her life, and I’d heard from Luca that her step-father—who wasn’t with her mom anymore—had been an asshole, too.

Still, this was something I wasn’t ready to talk about yet. Not with anyone.

“Eddie?” came a soft voice from behind me.

I turned around to find Elly standing there; a distraught look was on her face. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

I could tell from the way her bottom lip was quivering that she was genuinely upset about it, so I gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, honestly. I gotta practice, okay?”

She nodded, and I walked around her, meeting Stacey’s eye as I made my way to my drum kit. Stacey gave me a small nod, as though she was apologizing too, and I returned it, feeling a little guilty. I knew my friends weren’t gossip-hungry jerks, and I didn’t need to react like that.

Taking a seat on the stool, I waited for Luca to tell us what song to practice. He slung his guitar over his shoulder, and walked towards me, flicking his long hair out of his eyes in the process.

“Eddie, did you get anywhere with that song you were working on?”

“Oh, yeah, I worked on it a little more.” I pulled out a scrunched up piece of paper from my pocket and handed it to him. “It’s not quite there yet. I want to play around with the second verse some more, but I think we definitely have something to practice.”

Luca’s eyes glided over the words on the page, before finally landing on me again. “This is about her, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” I felt a little self-conscious, but this was my best friend, and I knew he wouldn’t judge me.

Luca had known me since we were little kids, and despite being able to hide my feelings well, my Hadie problems were starting to show in my demeanor. It was becoming too hard for me to maintain my cool. I was slipping through the cracks.

“Good,” Luca said, his mouth curving in a half-smile. “That’s when great music is created; when it comes from something that means a lot to you.”

He was right. Every musician—every artist—had a muse, or an outlet that brought out their creative side. Hadie was mine, whether she cared for me or not, she was what inspired me.

“Hey, we practicing or what?” Riley bounded back into the room carrying a case of beer.

He had an older brother, Warner, who bought booze for us if we ever wanted it. Riley was the youngest of three brothers. Warner worked at Statlen University as a lab technician, and his second oldest brother, Saul, was in college on the east coast.

“Yeah, we were just figuring out the lyrics to the new song,” Luca responded, stepping away from me and catching the beer that Riley tossed his way.

“Okay, cool.” He tossed a can at me, and I caught it easily, popping open the top and taking a swig of it.

I tried not to make a face at the bitterness. Beer wasn’t my drink of choice, but it was cheap so it would do. Maybe after I’d had a few, I’d be able to numb the ache in my mind from Hadie running through it.

“Let’s do this,” Luca said, taking another look at the piece of paper before handing it back to me. He had this amazing ability to memorize lyrics and only needed to look over them a few times to learn the words.

We jumped into the song, which was a lot slower than what we usually played, but just as catchy. Luca and I shared vocals, his higher voice complementing my deeper one.

When I fall

When I rise

I’m desperately seeking your eyes

When I die

A little inside

I’m wanting you by my side

For nights I lie awake

Wondering how to break

Through your iron walls

Before I lose this war

Don’t hold back

Don’t fight me

I’m here waiting patiently

Lift you up

‘Til you fly

I’ll be yours until we die

There is so much out there

That you’re shutting out

Break free of your misery

And scream out loud

I’m still here waiting patiently

So don’t hold back

Don’t fight me

We let the song progress to a gentle finish since we didn’t have any more words to go with the music. The girls began clapping and “whooing”, and I had to admit it was nice to have some moral support. They never missed a practice, as though they were part of the band, too.

“That was fucking awesome!” Riley cheered, spinning around to face me. “Eddie, you’re pulling out some killer shit.”

Luca gave me a knowing smile, and I tried to act cool, like it wasn’t getting to me. “Yeah, I’ve been pretty inspired lately.”

“Hadie’s inspiring you,” Ashton said with wise eyes, as she came over to plant a kiss on Luca’s cheek.

He grinned down at her, and I could see the happiness radiating from his face. There was definitely something special about those two.

I couldn’t quite figure out what it was about her, but even when Ashton had been a huge bitch there had been something I’d liked about her. Maybe it was just because it was easy for someone like me to see that she was hiding something because I was too. She’d hidden behind her mean words and bitchy attitude. I hid by engrossing myself in other people’s problems.