Flawed Beauty (27 page)

“I want you so much,” he whispered.

She bowed her head beneath the flow
of water and concentrated on nothing but the sensation of heat, water, and the
slide of skin against skin.

Jace
placed a leg in between her own and
widened her stance. With his lips at her ear, he whispered words of love, want,
and need, as he held her hips within his hands and eased his body into hers.
She gasped at the full feeling and leaned her head back onto his shoulder as he
continued to move within her. He licked and sucked the column of her exposed
neck as he plunged into her body.

As he undulated into her, he once
again reached around and seized her breasts within his grasp. She moaned at his
touch and reached over her head and behind to tangle her fingers into his wet
hair. The water made the feel of their bodies silky and slick. She groaned as
he ran his tongue up her neck and nipped her earlobe. Pulling away from her, he
spun her around and lifted her effortlessly up and slid into her once more
while encouraging her to wrap her legs around him. He slowly eased her up
against the wall as he began to thrust faster and faster, plunging his tongue
into her mouth.

She moaned and wrapped her hands
around his neck, holding him close to her body. The friction of her nipples
rubbing against his chest, along with the friction of his body entering hers,
made her tremble with need and incendiary lust. She whimpered against his mouth
as he licked against her tongue in the way that infused her instantly with
insane, ferocious yearning. She whimpered and dug her fingers into his
shoulders as she clawed against her, craving release. He growled and pushed
harder and harder into her, slamming her up against the tiled wall of the
shower.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he
murmured against her mouth. “I’ve never felt this way with anyone before,” he
gusted into her ear as he stroked smoothly into her body. “Can’t you feel it?
It’s magic.”

“I need you so much,” she whimpered,
as she wrapped her hands around his face and kissed him before running her lips
and tongue over the skin of his neck and biting his shoulder. She ran hands
urgently over his body like a ferial animal, desperate for release. He grunted
against the pressure of her teeth and growled as his movements became quicker
and deeper into her. She pleaded as he rubbed again and again against her point
of need, begging him to deliver her from her desperation. She cried out in
surrender as he set her free from her devastating enclosure of need.

He swallowed her cries and pushed
harder and more swiftly, seeking his own release. “Oh, baby,” he groaned
against her neck as he was pushed over the edge.

As he slid them down to the floor of
the shower, their pants and gasps for air filled the tiny enclosure. He pulled
her onto his lap and held her close to his chest as his breathing slowed. He
placed soft kisses wherever his lips landed in the afterglow of their fiery
passion. She buried her face in his neck, needing to maintain their closeness
and intimacy.

“I love you, Tate. I want to marry
you… be your family,” he murmured against her ear.

She inhaled sharply at the pain his
words inflicted, and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop the flow of tears.
The pain in her chest intensified and she couldn’t control the sobs which tore
from her throat. He tried to pry her arms from around his neck so he could see
what the problem was, but she clung tight as she cried.

He slid his hands over her back and
rubbed it comfortingly.

“
Shh
,
shh
.
Hey, what’s the matter, baby?” he murmured in between kisses against her head.

She cried harder at his endearment.

“Hey, tell me what’s wrong. Please
tell me,” he begged.

She just shook her head and clung all
the tighter.

He wrapped his arms around her and
held her tight against his body and rocked her like a child while murmuring
words of comfort to her.

“Please, baby. Come on. Please calm
down and tell me what’s wrong. You have to tell me,” he begged again.

Eventually she was cried out and lay
against him, shuddering, drained and exhausted. Slowly, he stood, snapped off
the cooled water, set her on her feet, and grabbing a towel, he dried her
thoroughly, then himself. He reached for her hand, led her to the bed, and
pulled the covers up over them. Crawling up behind her, he wrapped his arms
around her and kissed her wet hair.

“Can you please tell me what’s going
on? You’re scaring the hell out of me,” he said softly.

After a long silence, she whispered,
“The future scares me. I’m not sure what it will hold for me.”

“
Come live with me, and be my
love, and we will some new pleasures prove
” he whispered, quoting the poet,
John Donne.

“It’s not that easy,” she murmured.

“Yes, it is,” he murmured back.

“What if our paths don’t go in the
same direction?” she asked softly.

“We need to be like railroad tracks
and make sure our paths stay side by side,” he said, kissing her head.

Turning to bury herself against him,
she begged, “Hold me now. Hold me like you won’t ever let me go.”

“Oh, Tate.
I don’t know what to do to convince
you. I want you in my life. You’re important to me,” he said, crushing her to
his chest.

“I love you,
Jace
.
You’ve the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she whispered into his neck.

“Why does that feel like goodbye? It
seems no matter what I
say,
you’re always one foot out
the door. You’re driving me crazy.”

Tate felt her chest tighten and she
struggled to draw enough air into her lungs. She pulled herself away from him
and sat on the opposite side of the bed, facing away from him. Drawing in a
deep breath to calm her scattered emotions, she began to speak haltingly.

“After what happened with my… my…
Travis and
Tilda
, and then when Nick… did what he did,
for a long time, I walked around in a fog. The kids at school, and even adults
thought they had the right to say what they wanted, treat me how they wanted –
and I took it. But one day, right after I turned sixteen, a boy from the
baseball team pushed me up against the wall in the hallway at school and told
me something that changed things for me.”

When she paused, he asked. “What did
he say?”

Exhaling deeply, she said, “He said
he could make me forget every other guy I’d ever been with.” Raising her eyes,
bright with unshed tears, she whispered, “I wanted to forget what Nick had done
so badly… so very badly.”

“Oh, baby,” he whispered back.

Tate swallowed. “So I followed him
to the baseball field in the middle of the school day. He took me into the dugout,
laid me down on the bench, and screwed me. But he was wrong, he didn’t make me
forget. When I closed my eyes, I still saw Nick with his evil grin over me,
holding me down. For two years, I went with whichever boy wanted to have sex
with me – hoping that one day that baseball player’s words would come true, but
it never did… until you,” she ended on a whisper.

“Oh, Tate!” he murmured as he moved
to sit beside her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her into
his side. “Everyone has a past – done things they are ashamed of. So, you
thought I’d walk away because you’d had sex with others before me? I’ve never
pretended to be a saint, Tate. And I don’t think any less of you for just
trying to survive. I don’t care about the others, just as long as I’m the only
one now. So if that’s you’re only concern, don’t worry.”

Pain seared through her chest. She
wished that was it. Whispering through the lump in her throat, she blurted out
the last bullet before she lost her nerve, “I can’t have children.”

The hand which had been softly
stroking her arm stilled. “What do you mean?”

“I was told several years ago that
I’d never be able to have children.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because of the damage Nick
inflicted,” she replied emotionlessly.

He let his arms drop as he turned to
sit as she sat – facing straight ahead as he tried to digest her words. “Maybe
they were wrong.”

Slowly she shook her head. “No, the…
damage was too extensive. I won’t ever be able to have children.”

“Son-of-a-bitch,” he snarled softly.

She tensed, knowing this was the
deal-breaker. She’d always known. Who’d want a life with someone who was this
damaged?

“What did the bastard do?” he
growled.

Mentally pulling away from him, she
said quietly, “Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters,” he snapped.
“I want to kill the son-of-a-bitch.”

“I never wanted to know what he’d
done. Besides, knowing won’t change anything,” she murmured.

Jace
hunched over, his elbows resting on
his thighs and his face buried in his hands as he struggled to absorb her
words. Tate sat dry-eyed now, accepting the inevitable. He would want a normal
life, filled with
his
children. He deserved that life. Her heart seized
at the thought of some faceless woman holding a baby with dark curls and blue
eyes in her arms – a baby she’d created with
Jace
.

Lost in thought, she quoted softly,
“
Now wakes the hour,
now
sleeps the swan. Behold
the dream, the dream is gone
.”

Just as distracted, he asked
quietly, “Poe?
Hemmingway?”

She smiled a bitter smile.
“No, Pink Floyd.”

Realizing her thought process, he
dropped from the bed to his knees and gathered her into his arms, crushing her
against him. “It doesn’t change anything, Tate. I love you. That won’t change.
I just hate him for hurting you, and the way he continues to hurt you. I’m so
sorry, baby.”

“
Jace
, one
day you will want to have a child of your own… and you have that choice. It
won’t ever be a choice for me. I can’t allow you to throw that away.”

Brushing a strand of hair behind her
ear, he said, “We’ve already established that you don’t get to choose my life
for me. When we get to that point, we’ll explore our options… together… and
make a decision then… together. You understand what I’m saying?”

Her intent was to answer with a glib
response, but the word came out wobbling and questioning. “Together?”

He grinned back. “Together.”

With relief and love flooding her,
she threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. With a chuckle, he slid his
arms back around her and rested his cheek on the top of her head.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she
whispered.

“I’ve been right where you left me,”
he said softly.

“I was too scared to hope.”

“You should have trusted me,” he
said.

“I do trust you. I was trying to
protect you.”

“I can take care of myself, and if
you’ll let me, I can take care of you, also,” he said, tipping her face up to
his.

Softly, he brushed his lips against
hers. He stood and rolled the covers back on the bed and climbed into it, his
bared skin silver in the moonlight. Silently, he held the covers open for her
to join him.

Spooning her from the back, he said,
“Tell me what you’ve found while here.

“Heartache,” she said quietly.

“For yourself?”

“For
myself
and for the families,” she answered.

“Any of the families… yours?”

Sadly, she shook her head. “I had
three possibilities. I saw two of the three, but no luck… for anyone.”

“What about the third?
Are you going to check them out? We
can hire a private investigator, Tate. You don’t have to do this alone. I don’t
like you visiting people you don’t know. I think it’s far too dangerous.”

She sat silently for a few minutes.
“I’d like to contact the last family here, and then we can go home. Okay?”

“Home with me?” he asked hopefully
as he began to run his fingers over her taunt belly.

Goosebumps broke out at his touch and
she shivered. “Okay,” she whispered.

His hands stilled. “Did you just
agree to move in with me?”

“If you’ll still have me.”

With ease, he flipped her over to
face him and pulled her in to crush her against his chest. Against her lips, he
said, “Oh, I plan to
have
you in so many ways.”

Chapter 11

The
next morning, while
Jace
checked them out of the
hotel, Tate called Alan. She expected she’d have to leave him a message and
wait for him to call back, but he answered on the second ring.

“Tracey,” he said gruffly.

“Hey, Alan.
It’s Tate.”

“Hi! I was hoping to hear from you…
especially after speaking to your young fellow. He seems like a good man. I’m
happy for you.”

“He is a good man. I’m lucky to have
found him,” she said with eyes suddenly misting at the truth of her words.

“I think he’s the lucky one. Have
you had any luck in finding your parents? Is there anything I can do?”

“No. No luck, yet. But that’s why
I’m calling. Someone stole my backpack and I need the list again. Do you still
have the information?”

“Yeah, of course.
Give me a minute,” he answered.

Tate sat holding the phone to her
ear when
Jace
reentered the room. He leaned down and
pressed a kiss to the top of her head while holding out a bag with the name of
a little boutique which had been situated next to the thrift shop. With her
eyebrows scrunched together, she gave him a questioning glance, but he just
smiled before sitting down next to her.

Interrupting her thoughts, Alan came
back on the line. “Do you need all the names?”

“No. I’ve already been by the
Monroes
and the
Williamses
. I
just need the other name,” she replied.

There was a pause as Alan read down
the list. “Okay, the other name is Janice and Lance Thomas. Their daughter’s
name was Jessica. Their address is 49 Clover Field Trail, in Greeneville.”

“Thanks, Alan. Sorry to bother you.”

“It’s no bother. I’ll help however I
can… always. Take care of yourself, Tate. Call me any time. Hey, if you find
them, will you let me know?”

“I will,” she promised, “Thanks for
everything. Bye, I’ll… talk to you soon,” she said as her chest tightened with
suppressed emotions.

She clicked the phone off and stood
to walk into
Jace’s
arms. He held her, wordlessly
offering her the comfort she needed. “You okay?”

“I am now,” she murmured, thankful for
the assurance of his love and his touch.

He kissed the top of her head. “I
bought you a present,” he said, stepping away from her.

“A present?
What’s the occasion?” she asked,
wiping a hand across her eyes.

“Umm… because I love you and because
you have no clean clothes,” he said, grinning.

She opened the bag and pulled out a
simple yellow sundress with a crocheted inset in the top. It was simple and
elegant at the same time. At the bottom of the bag was a pair of slip-on yellow
sandals and a pair of underwear. Holding the items to her chest, she said, “I
love them, thank you!”

He pulled her back into his arms.
“You’re welcome. I had to guess on the sizes, so I hope they fit. There are
panties in there also, but consider them optional,” he said with a lascivious
grin.
“Easier access.”

“If you had any easier access, I’d
never get out of a prone position,” she said with the most carefree giggle
she’d ever given.

He pulled back to grin down into her
shining face. “You make me so happy,” he said softly.

“Ditto,” she murmured.

After showering and dressing in her
new clothes, Tate and
Jace
turned in the keys to the
room and the map. After stopping by the diner for breakfast, they set off for
nearby Greeneville.

As they drove,
Jace
asked, “What will you do if this turns out as the other two?”

“I’ll just keep looking, I guess. I
have to know… I need to find them.”

“How do you go about talking to
them?”

She explained about using her
supposed thesis paper.

“That’s a pretty good cover story.
What will you do if you think the next people are your parents?”

“Wouldn’t I just tell them?” she
asked.

Jace
tilted his head as he considered
her question. “I don’t know, Tate. I mean, I would think they’d doubt whatever
you told them. They have probably lived with dead-ends for a long time, and the
pain would make them wary. Don’t you think?”

“I guess so. I’ll cross that bridge
when I get to it.”

When they pulled onto Clover Field
Trail, Tate heard
Jace
take in a deep breath. As she
had already been through this twice, she was a little more calm and confident.
She reached over and laid a hand on his arm.

“I love you,
Jace
.
Thanks for doing this with me.”

As he pulled the car to a stop and
cut the engine, he leaned over and placed her face in his hands. “I love you,
too. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me,” he said before pressing
his lips softly against hers.

She waited until
Jace
got out of the car and opened her door for her. He reached for her hand, and
together, they walked up the sidewalk to the Colonial-style house with white
pillars in the front. The yellow house was trimmed in neat, white shutters and
white window frames. They climbed the steps, and after taking a deep breath,
Tate knocked on the door.

After a few minutes, a tall man with
white hair and deep brown eyes opened the door. He flashed them a smile. “Can I
help you?”

Tate offered a hesitant smile of her
own. “Hi, my name is Tate Morgan and this is
Jace
Staton
. Are you Lance Thomas?”

He answered as he wiped his hand on
a dish towel. “Yes.”

“This may seem an odd request, but
I’m a student at the University of Florida and am doing research on families
who’ve had a child abducted. Would you mind answering a few questions?”

Tate studied the man as she spoke, looking
for anything to link him to her. But she didn’t see anything.

Lance Thomas’s face went from
friendly solicitation to pensive in a flash. “I don’t think so. That was a long
time ago. I’d rather not subject my wife to that, if you don’t mind.”

Thinking rapidly, she asked, “Can
you tell me what color your daughter’s eyes were?”

His eyebrows raised in confusion,
“Hazel. Why? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Did you use any nickname for your
daughter?” she asked quickly, not giving him a chance to shut the door.

Again he raised his eyebrows.
“Tinker Bell.
I don’t really understand your questions. Now
if you’ll excuse me,” he said politely but firmly as he closed the door before
locking it securely behind him.

Jace’s
tug on her hand brought her back to
him. “Ready?” he asked softly.

Inhaling sharply, she gave a nod of
her. Disappointment bloomed in her chest. “I just so wanted to find my family,”
she whispered.

He kissed the side of her head. “I
know, sweetie. I’m sorry. Let’s go home. We’ll find the best private
investigator to help us look, okay?”

Distractedly, she murmured, “I can’t
afford that.”

“
Ahh
… but
I can,” he said as they walked to the car.

“
Jace
, I
can’t…”

“Stop.
We are a couple and a team. I’ll
help any way I can and that’s the end of it. Understood?” he said, interrupting
her.

When they reached the car, she
turned to face him and gave him a watery smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now, let’s go home.
The sooner I get you there, the quicker I can get you naked,” he said with a
grin.

As she slipped into her seat, she
said, “Why wait till then? Maybe we’ll stop somewhere along the way…”

Jace
leaned his forearm on the roof of
the car before laying his head on his arm. With his eyes closed he groaned,
“Woman, you’re trying to kill me, right?”

She gave him a smile, thankful to
him for lifting her spirits. While she hadn’t found her original family, she
had found her new family… her new life – with him.

As they turned off of Clover Field
Trail and back onto the State Road,
Jace
asked her,
“Why did you ask him about eye color and nicknames?”

“I have this reoccurring dream that
I’ve had for as long as I can remember. In the dream, sometimes there’s man and
sometimes a woman, I used to think they were angels. Anyway, in the dream, they
repeat this little ditty over and over. I think they used to call me Dandelion.
Pretty silly rationale, huh?”

“I don’t know, honey. It’s hard to
say what’ll help at this point. When we get home… and after I’ve spent several
hours ravishing your delectable body… we’ll make a list of everything you
remember. Later, we’ll present that information to a private investigator and
see if it helps.”

She leaned over and brushed a hand
over his hair and took in his beautiful face. “You’re sweet,” she said quietly.

He gave her a quizzical look.
“Why, specifically?”

“For not laughing at me and my funny
notions.”

“It’s not funny. Who knows what’s
stored in our minds. What about the eye color? Why that question?”

“When I visited the first family,
Marla Williams showed me a picture of their little girl. She had blue eyes. I
thought I’d nip the questions in the bud if the eye color wasn’t right. I’m not
sure why Alan gave me the name of a family missing a child with blues eyes.”

“How old were you when you were
abducted? Do you know?”

“I don’t know exactly. Travis Moon
told Alan around three or four,” she replied.

“Huh.”

“What?” she asked.

“How old was the little girl in the
photo?”

“I don’t know… two or three, maybe.
Why?” she asked.

“Well, not that it’ll probably
matter, but you know blue eyes can turn brown anytime within the first three
years. There have been cases where the eyes turned even later than that. Some
rare cases have even been documented to have occurred even at seven years.”

Tate sat quietly as she contemplated
his words. Had she been too quick to dismiss the first family? She remembered
the feelings the farm and the woman had raised in her.

“
Jace
, I
need to go back,” she said softly.

He pulled his eyes off the road to
give her a questioning look. “What?”

“I want to go back. Please take me
back.”

“Back to where?”

“Back to the Williams’ farm.

“Tate, the stuff about the eye color
might not mean anything.”

“I know, but I totally dismissed
them because of it. I need to go back and see if I’m wrong. Please take me
back,” she begged.

“Tate, I…”

“Please,
Jace
.
We’re so close. And what if it’s them?”

“I just don’t want you disappointed
again.
And what about the
Williamses
?
What about their feelings?” he asked in a quiet, rational tone.

She folded her hands in her lap.
With her head bowed, she said, “I can’t explain it, but I need to go back.
Please?” she asked, raising beseeching eyes to him.

Exhaling slowly, he slowed the
speeding car down and made a U-turn, taking them back the way they came.

It was nearly two o’clock before
they turned onto the unpaved road of Tank’s Holler. She saw
Jace
wince as his low-sitting sports car bumped along. Tate studied the farm once
again and struggled to place the feelings tightening her chest. She waited until
Jace
came around to open her door for her.

“I don’t really like this,” he said,
as she stood tense beside him.

“I have to at least see.”

“What will you say?” he asked.

“I’m not sure.”

As before, the dog named Homer
rousted
himself
out from under the porch and moved
unhurriedly towards them. Tate hunched and called softly to the dog. “Here,
Homer, come here, boy.”

The dog bounded over to her and she
petted his head. A man came from behind the house and halted at the sight of
them. He was a rotund man wearing a recognizable brown UPS uniform.

“Can I help you?” he asked with a
friendly smile.

Tate swallowed, suddenly unsure of
what to say. “Uh… my name is Tate Morgan. Are you Tyson Williams?”

The man strolled closer to them and
bent down to scratch behind the dog’s ear. “Yep, that’s me.”

Tate studied him, searching for any
type of memory. “I was here yesterday speaking to your wife. I’m from the
University of Florida. I’m doing research on the effects of families who’ve had
children abducted. Your wife was nice enough to speak to me, but I became upset
and had to leave. I… I wanted to apologize.”