For Her Son's Sake (12 page)

No matter what Kell wanted to talk to her about—either their relationship or her employment future— it wasn’t going to be a happy conversation. His body language had already warned her.

She had the chicken sizzling in the wok and was busy slicing tomatoes when she realized that she’d stay with Kell even if he fired her. The thought startled her enough that the knife slipped and she sliced her finger. She dropped the knife and stared at the small cut as it started to sting and bleed.

Her mind was on autopilot as she grabbed a kitchen towel to blot the wound. Instead of thinking about what she was doing, she was coming to a realization about Kell. She finally admitted to herself why her job didn’t matter to her anymore: it was because she had fallen for him.

Lately, she was so happy when he called or texted her. Felt that rush of joy and lust each time she saw him. Her first instinct was always to run to him and kiss him, even though she wasn’t normally that kind of woman.

She was in love with Kell Montrose.

“Um...Kell?” she called out.

“Yes?”

“I have a little medical emergency in the kitchen.” Kell came running into the room, took one look at the bloody towel in her hand and went white. “What happened?”

“I cut myself.”

“Is Mommy okay?” Sammy asked, a little tremble in his voice.

She smiled over at him where he stood in the doorway with his bare feet on the cold Spanish tile. “I’m fine.”

“She will be. I’ll take care of her. In case we have to go to the emergency room, why don’t you go put your shoes on,” Kell said. Then he came over to her, wrapped his arm around her shoulder and took the towel away from her hand and looked at the cut. “Let’s rinse this off.”

He put her hand under the sink and cleared the blood. As she looked down at it, she thought maybe it didn’t look so bad, but blood kept flowing from the wound and she was starting to see little dots in front of her eyes. There was a roaring in her ears and she cursed as she felt everything start to go dark and she collapsed.

Twelve

P
anic was Kell’s first thought, but he tried to keep cool as he cradled Emma to his chest. Sammy came in and ran over to them.

“Mommy,” he cried.

That’s when Kell’s panic cleared and he went into action.

“Get a pillow so we can lift her feet up,” Kell said.

Sammy hesitated and looked down at his mom. “She’ll be okay, buddy, but we need to get her feet up and then we’ll see if we can find any smelling salts.”

“There’s salt on the table,” he said. “Be right back.”

Sammy ran out of the room and was back a second later. Watching the three-year-old place the pillow at Emma’s feet and then carefully lift one and then the other onto it made Kell realize how hard this must be for a child who’d lost his father.

Luckily, it didn’t take long before Emma opened her eyes. “Did I pass out?” she asked. “It’s really not a big deal. It’s just a little cut.”

“Mommy. Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she said, reaching for her son and hugging him to her.

She started to get up but Kell put a hand on her shoulder. “Stay there for a few more minutes.”

She nodded. Her face was still pale and her lips dry and chalky. “Watch her for me, Sammy.”

“I will, Darth Dada.”

Kell smiled at the kid and got up to turn off the burner under the pan of sizzling chicken. Then he looked up what to do for a fainting spell on his phone. He knew that cut was pretty deep, too, and probably was going to need a stich or two.

“Do you have a first-aid kit?”

“Under the sink in the bathroom. Sammy knows where it is,” Emma said.

“I’ll get it,” the little boy said and ran off.

Kell knelt back down beside her. “I think we need to keep pressure on your cut. I’m going to take you to the emergency room. You might need stitches.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Emma said.

“But you don’t want to take any chances, so we’re going,” Kell said.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” she asked, her eyes starting to spark with some signs of her usual personality.

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled down at her. “No.”

Sammy came back with the first-aid kit and sat down cross-legged next to his mom again, holding her hand. Kell found a bandage, which he wrapped around her finger, and then looked at Sam.

“Want me to call your aunt Cari to watch you?” Kell asked.

“Why?” Sammy asked. “You said Mommy was okay.”

“She is but I have to take your mom to the doctor,” Kell said.

“I want to come,” Sam said.

Kell lifted Emma into his arms and then stood up a little bit awkwardly. Sammy trailed behind him, bringing the pillow as they walked to the front door. Kell got his shoes on and his keys from the table, where he’d tossed them.

“You’ll have to take my car. Sammy’s car seat is in it,” Emma said.

“I’ll get mommy’s keys,” Sam said. He ran up to her room and brought down her purse.

Kell didn’t have time to really dwell on it but this entire situation was weird. He’d never in his life felt so out of control, so unsure of himself or what he was doing. On one hand he was glad that he’d come for dinner so he was there for Emma and could take care of her. But on the other he would have liked to have been safely at his place by himself, so he’d never have to know this much panic and fear for another person.

For two other people. Sammy was putting on a brave front and smiling every time that Emma looked at him but when she glanced away the little boy stared at his mom with fear in his eyes. And it broke Kell’s heart.

“I can stand, Kell,” Emma said.

He set her on her feet but didn’t want to let go of her until he was sure she was okay. Nothing had been as horrible as watching her fall on the kitchen tile earlier as she’d passed out.

“Let’s go,” Kell said.

He drove to a walk-in clinic because it was closer than the emergency room. Since the clinic served the local neighborhood, it wasn’t busy at all. He signed Emma in as Sammy took her hand and led her over to sit down.

“Your son is doing a good job looking after his mom,” the receptionist said.

Kell started to correct her, to say that Sammy wasn’t his, but then realized he wanted him to be. “Yes, he is.”

When he joined Sammy and his mother in the waiting area, Kell’s mind was a mess, full of thoughts of the things he wanted and fears that he couldn’t really be the man these two people needed. The dad Sam needed, the husband Emma needed. He even worried he wasn’t the business shark he’d always been. He was losing his edge and the worst part was he didn’t even mind losing it.

A nurse took Emma back to see the doctor and Sam looked over at Kell with those big brown eyes of his. The way he had the other night at the basketball game when DJ had climbed onto Dec’s lap and Kell lifted Sam up and onto his lap.

Sammy wrapped one arm around Kell’s shoulder. “I hope Mommy is okay.”

“Me too. You’ve been a big help,” Kell said, patting the little boy’s back.

Kell took out his phone and gave it to Sammy to play with while they waited. He didn’t want to be distracted by email or texts from the office. For the first time ever, his personal life was taking precedence and he was damned glad for it because he knew he loved Emma.

But he didn’t truly realize it until she walked out of the back room and held up her bandaged finger. As soon as he saw her smile he knew. He felt it. Love. The one emotion he’d never thought he could feel poured into him and left no doubt as to what it was.

* * *

Idiot.
That’s all she could think, as she felt the ridiculous happiness of seeing Sammy and Kell waiting for her. Once again, the realization struck her. She loved Kell.

She knew that it wasn’t going to be the hearts and flowers runaway love that she’d shared with Helio. But she was older now, and a much different woman. She needed more from the man she gave her heart to. And she wasn’t even sure he’d want it, but that didn’t change the fact that she loved him.

Kell and Sammy both stood up when they saw her. Her son ran over and hugged her tightly. She bent down and scooped him up.

“Did you have to get sewed?”

“Stitches,” Emma said gently. “Yes I did. I got three.”

“Just like how old I am,” Sammy said.

“Exactly. Were you good for Kell?” The question was directed at Sammy but Emma looked up at Kell and he nodded at her.

“I was. We were both worried about you.”

“Well, I’m fine now and we are good to go,” Emma said.

Kell held the door open for them and then led the way to her car. She put Sammy in his car seat and closed the door, turning to find Kell just standing there. He didn’t say anything, just drew her into his arms and held her closely, kissing the top of her head.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“It was just a dumb cut. I should have been paying attention,” she said.

“Why weren’t you?” he asked.

“I was thinking about that serious conversation you wanted to have with me,” she said. “Are you going to break up with me?”

He hugged her closer. “Let’s go get some dinner and then after Sammy goes to bed we can talk.”

“That’s it, isn’t it?” she asked. “Don’t keep putting it off.”

“I’m not, but we have a three-year-old in the car and he’s hungry and worried about his mom,” Kell pointed out.

“And I’m the one having a tantrum,” she said at last. “I get it. I know we need to be alone to chat, but it’s making me a little crazy.”

“Me, too. I can’t imagine ever walking away from you, Emma, but we both know I have some less than sterling qualities.”

“Okay, fair enough. We can talk later,” she said. Reality could wait. She wanted a few more hours of time together where she didn’t have to admit that nothing in this situation was under her control. Kell held the door for and she got into the passenger seat. A few minutes later they were on their way to a Tex-Mex cantina in the neighborhood.

They sat in a corner booth and ordered food and drinks. She wanted to just let it be an evening where from the outside they looked like a perfect family. But it was hard because she knew it wasn’t true.

She was tired, and her finger was throbbing because the pain medicine the doctor had given her was wearing off. Plus, Sammy was wound up from Kell’s giving him everything he asked for. Tons of sugary soda and dessert.

“Another soda?” Kell asked.

“No,” Emma said. “That’s enough for tonight.”

“But, Mommy—”

“No buts. I’m fine now and so are you,” Emma said. Then she turned to Kell. “You’re spoiling him.”

“I know.”

She looked at him and he gave her a shrug and then looked away. Which almost made Emma feel bad that she’d said anything. But he couldn’t just give Sammy the moon when he hadn’t committed to being around after tonight. She almost suspected he was going overboard because he wasn’t going to be here tomorrow.

And that made her feel like crying or lashing out irrationally and yelling at him. She took a deep breath and pulled her cell phone from her purse but didn’t turn it on, just stared down at the black screen for a long time trying to find her balance. But it just wasn’t there.

She was a wreck. She wanted to know what was going on with Kell and she needed answers now, not in an hour or two after Sammy was asleep. She pushed the button to turn on her phone and caught her breath. She had a new home screen picture of Sammy and Kell. A selfie of them giving her the thumbs-up.

Why did Kell do things like this if he was planning to leave?

“Nice photo,” she said, showing them both.

“We did it while you were in getting your finger fixed,” Sammy said.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Kell said.

“Not at all. I like it a lot. I’m just really tired now,” she said.

“You’ve had a long day. Let me get the check and I’ll take you both home,” Kell said.

He went off to settle the bill.

“I think he wants to stay with us, Mommy,” Sammy said.

“Sweetie, remember what I said. He likes you and he likes me but that doesn’t mean he can be your daddy.”

Sammy stuck his lower lip out. All that sugar and the late hour made him a little more temperamental than usual. “I don’t think that’s fair.”

“I’m not the one who’s deciding this,” she said.

“Deciding what?” Kell asked as he returned to the table. He rested his hand on the back of Sammy’s chair.

Her son twisted around and looked up at Kell.

“If you can be my daddy.”

Kell patted the little boy on his shoulder. “That’s a big decision. I think we all need to talk before anything like that can happen.”

* * *

Sammy was safely tucked into his bed and sleeping soundly when Emma came back downstairs, where she’d left Kell. He’d poured her a glass of Bailey’s on the rocks and one for himself and had turned on the gas fireplace.

“This looks like romance but I think we both know that looks are deceiving.”

“I’m not deceiving you at all, Emma.”

“Only time will tell,” she said.

Yes, it would. Tonight he’d realized that he was willing to compromise on a few things he never would have thought he would. “I guess the way I said we needed to talk was ominous and I never meant for it to come out that way.”

“It was. So what’s going on?” she asked, taking her glass and lifting it to her mouth for a delicate sip. She sat down next to him on the couch but left a good foot of space between them.

She curled one leg underneath her body and stared at him with that serious look that made him feel as if he could never measure up in her eyes.

“The board and I have decided that your probation has been successful. But we’re going to start you out slow in your new position.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’d be a position where you’d give input, but you’d need someone else to sign off on your budgets,” he said.

“Are you kidding me? I mean I can see that my decisions as CEO of Infinity weren’t necessarily the most sound but I was trying to stay a few steps ahead of you in your takeover bid. And you were gunning for Infinity Games,” she said. “And since the takeover I haven’t taken any risks.”

“Except for kissing me in the elevator,” he said.

“This isn’t personal, or is it?” she asked. “Was that your play from the beginning?”

“You know it wasn’t. But it is personal now. We can’t get away from the fact that there is something between us. Something that has nothing to do with business. Listen, I’ve been thinking that maybe I could get the board to give you a position with a little more power in it,” he said. “I will talk to them tomorrow.”

“Can’t you make the decision on your own?” she asked.

“I...I don’t know. I’m trying to let you change me,” he said, shoving his hands through his hair. God knew it was too late. She’d already changed him in ways he didn’t want to let her see.

“You’ve changed me,” she said, putting her glass down. “I know this is hard. I’m going to lay it all on the line here. I really care about you, Kell. Not just because Sammy likes you and wants you to be his new daddy but because
I
like you. I want you to stay and not for a night but for the rest of our lives.

“But that can’t happen if you aren’t willing to change. We can’t let doubt and generations-old hatred keep us apart. And that’s what you’re doing.”

She made it sound so easy. Give up the hate and move on. If only. Instead, he was having a hard time believing that everything between them was real. He loved her. He’d never said those words to himself about anyone before. But he also knew that he’d never thought of having permanency before his cousins had settled down with Emma’s sisters and had started raising babies.

Once again in his life, he’d felt left out. He’d been the only one without parents growing up and was the only one without a fiancée and a baby of his own now. Then he’d kissed Emma and made a place for himself in her life.

A big part of him was afraid that he’d done it just so he wasn’t left out. Just so he wouldn’t be alone the way he had been all his life. Tonight had tested him and stretched the boundaries of what he thought he’d wanted in his life and he’d felt fear.

The fear of knowing that now that he cared for Emma and Sam, he’d always be afraid of losing them.