For Mac (8 page)

Branson sat quietly, providing the old man with a truly interested audience. He couldn’t remember anyone ever telling him stories from their youth before. His parents were always busy, and Mac didn’t talk much about himself in general, let alone about their childhood. Besides, Branson had been around for much of Mac’s childhood—not that he remembered much of it, with the age difference—but he was still in most of Mac’s childhood stories in some respect.

Mr. J. was still talking. “It took us all day, but we finally did it. By the time we got up there, we both secretly wished we would have just gone to school. Not that either of us admitted that until years later. We had originally planned to climb back down to get home because the trail side of the hill was reported to be full of snakes and dumped us out about a two hours’ walk from our house. We were both so terrified of climbing back down—again, nothing we admitted at the time—that we decided to take our chances with the snakes.”

Branson chuckled. “Yeah, I think I would have too.” Then he asked, “Two hours’ walk from home, though? It had to be getting dark by then.”

“Oh yeah.” Mr. J. chuckled. “By the time we got home, it was way after dark. Ma had been going nuts with worry, especially when our teacher called to tell her she missed us in school that day. As soon as we got within the circle of the porch light, Pa took one look at us, all scraped up and sunburned, and knew what we had been doing. We got our backsides polished but good that night. Bert said it was Pa’s way of telling us he loved us.” Mr. J. shrugged and smiled. “Probably was.”

They talked for a while longer, and Branson excused himself to go back to sit with Mac. It wasn’t long after that before Liam came waltzing in with a tub of popcorn and a new DVD he wanted to watch.

Amy

A
MY
CAME
in late one Friday evening to find Bran sound asleep by Mac’s bed, the credits of the latest movie running and Liam fondly watching him.

“He’s adorable when he’s asleep, isn’t he?” She had thought Liam heard her come in, but from the way he jumped at her voice, it was clear he hadn’t.

Liam actually blushed. “You won’t tell him I was watching him, will ye? I think I already freak him out a little as it is.”

“Why would you freak him out?”

“Well, it’s no secret around here that I’m gay, and he cringes every time I even come close to touching him, so….”

“If you freaked him out, he wouldn’t be watching all these movies with you, and from what he’s said, you both have a lot in common—maybe more than you think, actually—and are starting to get along pretty well.” Amy wanted so badly to tell Liam that Branson was gay too. She thought they could be so good together, and she wanted so badly for Branson to have someone to love. But since Bran was still fighting it himself, and it certainly wasn’t her place to out anyone, even if she thought it was for his own good, she decided she better not.

“That’s just it. I am starting to think of him more like a friend
than a family member of a patient. I know that’s not professional, but—
”

“You never shirk your duty, and all the movies are after you get off work.” Amy knew how important Liam’s company was to Branson, even if Bran wouldn’t admit it, and she couldn’t have Liam thinking he was being unprofessional by spending time with him.

Liam shrugged. “I don’t want to do anything to change that. The friendship, I mean. I’m a wee bit shocked by how depressing the thought of not having him as a friend is, actually. The subject has never come up, so I don’t know how he feels about the gay thing.”

Amy couldn’t help but laugh out loud but stifled it as soon as possible. “First of all I think the fact that you’re gay may be more of a secret than you think because I know none of us have heard about it.”

“So that’s not why he doesn’t want me to touch him?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not why, though I can’t tell you why either,” Amy answered vaguely. “Andy said you mentioned something about that to him. I’ve noticed you tend to be a pretty tactile person with everyone else, but you try to curtail it around Branny.”

Liam chuckled. “It’s a big family thing, I guess. Lots of hugs ’n touches growing up. I don’t even realize I’m doing it most of the time ’til it looks like it bothers someone.”

“Well.” Amy decided to tell the partial truth about her theory on the subject. “Bran never had that growing up. Mac was never the touchy-feely type. He took good care of Branny, for the most part, but Mac never got hugged growing up, so I don’t think it occurred to him that his little brother might want that.”

Liam didn’t seem to know what to say to that, so he hmmed an answer. Eventually the conversation changed topics. Liam cleaned up the popcorn mess they had made and put away the DVD. Neither of them had the heart to wake Branson, even though it was now past visiting hours.

Branson

B
RANSON
WOKE
up about ten minutes later. Amy was still there. He told his brother good night, and they made their way out to the parking lot. He was surprised when Amy slipped into the passenger seat of his car instead of going to her own.

“Um…. Amy?” he stuttered. “Didn’t you drive here?”

“Yeah, but first things first.”

She waited so long to continue that Branson was getting antsy. “Say what’s on your mind, Aims.”

“You need to do something about this attraction to Liam.”

“Well, damn.” He shook his head. He didn’t even want to admit to himself that he was attracted to Liam. He surely wasn’t ready to admit it to anyone else. “I wondered how long it would take for Andy to get you on that bandwagon.” When Amy didn’t say anything else, he continued. “I’m not gay, Aims, so no attraction to Liam.”

“Don’t start, Branny. You liked my
Playgirls
more than I did, so don’t tell me you’re not gay.”

Branson hit the steering wheel. “Goddammit! Just stop!”

“Bran….”

“No. Stop. I’m not gay. I never
have
been gay. I’m never
going
to be gay. Just leave me the hell alone!” He got out of the car and slammed the door.

“Branny, come on.” Amy hopped out and began to follow him as he stomped toward the road. “This is your car.” He continued walking. “What are you going to do? Walk all the way home?”

“If I have to,” he threw over his shoulder.

“It’s fifteen minutes by car!”

Branson dropped down onto the curb as though his strings had been cut. Amy jogged to catch up to him and sank down beside him. “I’m sorry, Bran. Come back to the car.”

“I can’t, Aims… I just can’t!”

“We’re not talking about going to the car anymore, are we?” Amy slung her arm over his shoulder.

“Amy, I can’t be gay. I can’t openly admit being attracted to a man, let alone Mac’s nurse!”

“Yeah, but you are, Bran.”

“No. Nonononononono.” Branson shook his head while gripping his hair.

“Branny,” she started. She seemed to sense he was beyond emotional reach, because she simply hugged him close.

T
HE
FOLLOWING
Monday Branson threw the phone across the room. “No, dammit!” It narrowly missed Liam as he strolled in at the wrong time.

“What did the phone do to deserve that?” He seemed to be trying to let Bran know he was there and lighten the mood all at the same time.

“They’re demanding I come back to work!”

“As much as I hate to take the side of a company that is obviously upsetting you right now, it has been quite a while—between the hospital ’n here—I can’t think of too many places that would have given you this long.”

Branson collapsed into his chair. “I know.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I know. Doesn’t make it any easier.”

“Did you try a compromise? See if they’ll let you work here for two days and go in for three?”

“No, I didn’t think of that. Actually, Tom didn’t get much beyond ‘come back’ before I threw the phone.”

Liam retrieved the pieces and handed them to Branson. “Well, first order of business: get a new phone. Then call him and see what he thinks. It might be a good way to ease back into a more normal work schedule.”

Branson exploded from the chair. “I don’t want a more normal schedule!” When he realized that Liam had actually taken a step back at his sudden movements and loud tone, he tried to quiet his voice. “How can I go back to my life with Mac like this? It feels like I’m giving up on him. Like life is just going on without him.”

Branson had sat down again, and Liam kneeled nearby, obviously being careful not to touch him. “There is no way you would ever give up on your brother. I knew that after knowing you for thirty seconds. But life does go on. Whether we want it to or not. I’m sure Mac would understand that.”

“I’m not sure I know what Mac would and wouldn’t understand at this point.” He ran a hand through his hair again. “I’m not sure of anything.”

Liam seemed to want to help, but didn’t know how. Branson saw that several times Liam reached out to touch him but managed to stop himself.

Branson decided now might be a good time to address that.

“I don’t mind if you touch me, Liam,” Bran said. “I didn’t even know I was flinching until Amy and Andy told me. I’m not used to it, but I don’t mind it.” Branson wasn’t about to tell Liam that the little touches did unwanted things to his libido.

Almost immediately Liam laid a tentative hand on the tip of Branson’s knee and squeezed. “Good to know, lad. But I do have to tell you something first, in case it makes a difference.” Liam pulled his hand back and was sure to stay well within his own space. “I kinda figured you already knew, thought that was why you didn’t want me to touch you. But Amy said you all hadn’t heard. It shouldn’t make a difference, thinks I, but it does for some. I’ve even had patients’ families ask for me to be reassigned. Amy didn’t think you’d do that, but I do want to at least give you the chance. It’s not like I was tryin’ to keep it from you.”

Branson was getting worried, and it must have been obvious because Liam continued quickly. “I’m gay. Now, that shouldn’t make a difference. I know you’re not, and I only wanna be friends, but if it bothers you, you need to let me know. I can go on keepin’ me hands to meself.”

Branson wasn’t sure what to say to that, but he finally settled with, “I don’t mind. As long as you know that I’m not interested in that kind of relationship or anything.”

“Oh, I know, man.” Liam was quick to assure. “Never for a moment thought you were.” He chanced a slight touch of Branson’s knee again. “We cool, then, lad?”

Branson nodded, not knowing what else to say but feeling like maybe they had cleared that up. Branson was glad for that. He had never wanted Liam to feel like Branson was uncomfortable around him. He
was
sometimes, but that didn’t have anything to do with Liam.

Liam

L
IAM
CAME
into Mac’s room the next day to find Amy sitting by his bedside. He was taken aback. Branson was always there in the morning, and Amy or Andy didn’t usually come in until later.

“Where’s Branson this morning?” Then it hit him. “Oh no. They didn’t go for the compromise, did they? He had to go to work.”

Amy smiled. She seemed to think it was funny watching Liam’s face change from confused to knowledgeable to worried. “He’s at work, but they did go for a compromise. He works mornings at the agency and then does the rest of it here and phones it in.”

Liam tried not to smile like a fool. “That’s good. That sounds better than the compromise I thought of. He gets to be here every day, just not quite as long.”

“Yeah. He wasn’t overly thrilled about having to go in at all, but he liked your idea of asking for a compromise.”

As Liam reached for Mac’s wrist to check his pulse for his records, the man’s arm started to jerk. Before Liam could tell Amy to inform the nurses, Mac was in a full-blown grand mal seizure.

“Shit,” Amy said as she rushed to the nurses’ station without being told.

W
HEN
B
RANSON
came in around lunchtime, he seemed to immediately sense there was something terribly wrong. Mac was still in bed; still hooked up to what Bran had referred to as every machine known to man, Amy was sitting at his bedside, and Liam was tending to the IV. So, nothing obviously wrong, but Branson still seemed to know there was something amiss.

“What happened?” he asked, though he didn’t seem exactly sure he wanted to know.

Amy seemed terribly shaken up at the question and was reluctant to answer, so Liam jumped in.

“Mac had a pretty bad grand mal seizure earlier.” He walked over to Branson and put a hand on his shoulder. “Almost seven minutes. What’s more troubling is that he aspirated a good bit of saliva, and we had a horrible time getting his breathing under control, even with the ventilator. We’ll be watching him for a bout of pneumonia, so we will. But we’re hoping for the best.”

Branson seemed to be having trouble breathing himself. “I know he’s not getting any better. But, God, he can’t get
worse
! What are we going to do if he gets
worse
?”

Liam grabbed the nearby chair and shoved it toward Bran as he all but collapsed into it. Liam sank to the floor in front of Bran. “Hey, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s getting worse, overall. Just that he had a bad day.”

“Doesn’t
necessarily
mean that he’s getting worse. But it
could
mean he’s getting worse.”

Liam put a hand on Bran’s knee. “I can’t give any guarantees. I sure wish I could. But one bad day doesn’t necessarily mean anything.”

“One really bad day.” Branson covered Liam’s hand with his own.

Liam smiled. “Even one really bad day.”

L
IAM
CAME
in the next day, after lunch, to find Mac by himself, so he did what he needed to do to take care of his patient and then went in search of Branson. As he walked by Mr. Johnson’s room, he heard a familiar voice. When he peeked his head in the room, he saw the two men watching TV, Branson commenting on what was going on and making sarcastic comments. Then they both laughed.