Forever This Time (35 page)

Josie put her hand to her chest as she watched, and this time there was no way to stop the tears. Emmy looked just like Avery, only smaller. She had the same tiny body in a too-big princess robe—the same tiny feet, the same tiny, bald head.

The same future?

She must have made a sound, because as one, Ethan and Emmy turned toward her. She ducked to the side of the doorway and scraped her sleeve over her eyes, then pasted on her best fake smile as she took a step into the room.

Ethan's eyes were wide as she paused just inside the doorway. “Josie!”

She took a deep breath. “Molly surprised me. Brought me here. I'm sorry to intrude.”

“No! It's fine! Come on in. This isn't exactly how I would have introduced you to the house, but you're here!” If she hadn't been so shocked by finding out about the house, Josie would have been almost tempted to laugh at his obvious distress. She could totally picture Josh making
I'm sorry
gestures behind her back.

“Um, okay. This is great. I'm so glad you're here.” The little girl raised her eyebrows, seemingly sensing his discomfort. “Josie, this is my friend Emmy. Emmy, this is Josie.”

Emmy turned fully toward her, and in the first moment Josie saw her eyes, a profound relief melted over her body. Where Avery had had eyes the color of chestnuts, Emmy's were bright, heavenly blue. Where Avery's smile had been huge, gap-toothed, contagious … Emmy's was tentative and sweet.

“Hi, Josie.” Emmy smiled up at her as she snuggled closer to Ethan.

“Hi, Emmy.” Josie crouched down so her head was at Emmy's level. “It's lovely to meet you.” Josie looked around at the fluffy, very pink space. “You have an excellent room here.”

“Best view in the whole place!” Emmy pointed out the window.

“I see that! Have you been to Snowflake Village yet?”

“Not yet this week. Dr. Mackenzie says I have to wait two more days. It's okay, though. Ben's saving me the pink-princess car on the Twinkle Fairy for when I come. He said I can ride it all day if I want to.”

“Lucky you!”

Ethan chuckled. “Josie loves the Twinkle Fairy, too. Don't you, Jos?”

“You said she threw up on the Twinkle Fairy.” Emmy poked Ethan in the chest.

Josie stood back up. “Never eat three hot dogs, a box of popcorn, and two Slush-Bombs before a ride that spins.”

“Yuck. You should have stuck to ice cream.” Emmy tipped her face up to Ethan's. “Speaking of ice cream…”

“I'm gonna run
out
of ice cream if you stay much longer, squirt. I'll have to get a cow to keep up with the demand.”

“Me eating too much ice cream is a
good
problem.”

“That's true. What'll it be? Dr. Mackenzie? Can the lady have chocolate today?”

Josh smiled. “Does the lady's tummy think chocolate will work?”

“The lady's tummy
definitely
thinks it'll work!” Emmy jumped off Ethan's lap and grabbed Josie's hand, surprising her. “Come on, Josie. Have you
seen
the ice cream machine? Let's go make creemees!”

With a bewildered look over her shoulder at Ethan and Josh, Josie followed her down the hallway into a sunny kitchenette and watched as she used a stepstool to pick out a cone and pull the chocolate lever to deliver a perfectly sculpted creemee into it.

“Wow. You've had a lot of practice at this.” Josie reached out to take the cone Emmy handed her. “Thank you.”

“Ethan says he's going to give me a job at the park when I'm older.” Emmy spun her cone around and made another perfect creemee, then hopped off the stool. “Let's go eat on the porch!”

As they settled into two Adirondack chairs, Emmy said, “Are you Ethan's girlfriend?”

Josie swallowed, the ice cream growing spikes. “No. Just a friend.”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure, yes.” Josie laughed as she licked her ice cream. Subject change time. “So how old are you, Emmy?”

“I'm eight. But Ethan says I'm terribly mature for my age.”

“Oh, he does, does he?”

“Yes. I have to agree with him. But cancer does that.”

Josie looked sideways at her, but she was just spinning her ice cream cone around, licking the drips. She had the same matter-of-fact demeanor Avery had always had. “That it does, sweetie.”

“Ethan was talking about you. He says you help people? Talk to them to help them feel better?”

He'd said that?

“I try to, yes. It's really hard work to have things like cancer. Especially when you're a kid. So I try to help.”

“Do you have kids, Josie?”

“No…” Josie bit her own cone. “No, I don't.”
Because I don't ever, ever want to be attached to another child who could rip out my heart, sweet Emmy.

“Do you have a husband?”

“Nope. No husband, either.”

“Why not?” Emmy asked the question like she couldn't imagine anyone choosing not to get married and have children.

“I think maybe it's just not my time yet.”

Emmy shook her head. “I think Ethan would be the perfect dad.”

“Think so?” Josie's cone got stuck in her throat as it tightened.

“Oh, definitely. If I didn't have one already, I might ask him to be mine.”

“Well, I'm sure he would be very honored to be asked.”

“Hey! I have an idea.” She pushed the final bite of her cone into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “Ethan needs a wife. You need a husband. Why don't the two of
you
get married?”

Josie laughed tightly. “That is quite an idea, young lady.”

The screen door swung open and a young woman peered out. “Emmy, are you talking someone's ear off out here?” She leaned toward Josie with her right hand outstretched. “Hi, there. I'm Steph, this little imp's mom.”

“She's good company.” Josie smiled. “I'm Josie, Ethan's … friend from way back.”

Emmy hopped off her chair. “I'm going to go tell him.”

“Don't you dare!” Josie warned, but with a delighted squeak, Emmy banged through the screen door and headed up the stairs.

“Uh-oh. What's she telling who?” Steph propped her hip against the railing.

“I'm pretty sure she's telling Ethan I'm about to wither into spinsterhood and he'd better save me.”

Steph laughed. “Oh boy. Is she planning your wedding already?”

“Quite possibly.” Josie's gut quivered as she said so.

“So how do you know Ethan?”

“We went to high school together, actually.”

“Lucky girl.” Steph winked. “Did you ever date him?”

Josie paused for a long moment. “Yeah, we dated.”

And almost got married, but we'll leave that part out for now.

Steph sat down in the wicker chair next to Josie, pulling up her knees like a schoolgirl waiting for a juicy story. “How long were you guys a couple?” When Josie paused again, Steph shook her head. “Oh, wow. Listen to me. I'm obviously desperate for girl talk, aren't I? I'm so sorry to pry! It's none of my business at all! I just adore Ethan, and I've never figured out why he's still single after all this time.”

“Long story, Steph. But it's probably his to tell, not mine.”

“Still love him?”

Josie felt her eyes widen, even as she smiled at Steph's directness. “Is this you not prying?”

“Sorry. Again. I think I've spent a little too long with only Emmy for company. My self-censor button seems to be broken.”

“We were together a long time ago. A lot's happened since then.”

“Ever wish you could go back to when it was all so much simpler?”

Josie paused. Yes. No. Maybe.

“Sometimes, I guess. I'm not sure it was that much simpler back then for us, unfortunately.”

“The angst of first love.” Steph smiled wistfully. “You never really get over it, do you?”

Josie shook her head slowly. “I'm starting to think you don't.”

“Hey!” Steph pushed herself up from her chair. “Did Ethan show you the back part of the house? The owners' quarters?”

“Not yet.”

“Come on. You have to see this. If I was a lesser woman, I'd pretend to fall in love with him just so I could live here full-time.” She opened the screen door and held it while Josie stood up and walked through. “You might rethink your stance on rekindling things with Ethan once you see it. Just warning you!”

When they reached the kitchen, Steph pointed toward the breakfast nook, where a French door with lacy curtains was tucked up against the bay window that looked into the backyard. “Oh shoot.” She looked up at the kitchen clock, then her watch. “I need to go give Emmy her meds, but you should go explore. Right through that door.”

Josie shook her head. “I shouldn't go in there. It's not my place.”

“It could be your place if you play your cards right!” Steph grinned. “I'll keep Ethan busy upstairs while you go explore. Seriously, you're going to fall in love with this house, if you haven't already.”

Steph winked again as she turned to head back down the hallway. “Then you can work on falling for Ethan again.”

 

Chapter 36

Josie cracked open the French door, unable to resist the golden sunlight peeking through the lacy curtains. She'd just take a quick look—just open the door a smidge and poke her head in, then close it before anyone was the wiser.

The door slid easily, and as she looked into what must be a living room, her breath caught in her throat. Sunlight slanted through a bank of windows to her right, sending warm beams onto a buttery wood floor and soft yellow walls with wide white trim.

She stepped into the room and closed the door softly behind her, despite her quick-peek-only stance. Two couches with big cushions angled toward a warm brick fireplace, and soft folk-art rugs decorated the floor. In one corner, two floor-to-ceiling bookcases snugged against each other, barely holding games and puzzles and what had to be three hundred or more books.

Josie spun in a slow circle. No television, no radio, no computer. Just a bright, cozy space to pluck a book off the shelf and curl up on a gooshy couch for hours. Or play a game at the low, square table in the corner that had huge cushions on four sides instead of chairs.

She stepped hesitantly toward an arched doorway, then felt her mouth open in awe as she came through it to the huge kitchen. Glass-front cabinets with antique white trim lined the upper walls, and a dark granite countertop sat atop beadboard cabinets. The appliances were stainless steel, and the oven was a chef's dream, complete with six burners and a warming drawer. An oblong island in the middle of the room had a prep sink and three green-shaded lights hanging from the ceiling, along with five wrought-iron barstools brightened with pale green checkered cushions.

She pictured the galley kitchen in her Boston apartment for a moment. It would almost fit on top of just the island here, she mused. On one hand, it was awfully convenient to have everything within reach. On the other, she'd never fit another human in there with her.

Josie walked by a sunny breakfast nook complete with a vase of daisies, a cozy den, and a huge dining room with a long maple table and matching hutch and sideboard before she came to a wide stairway with curving balustrade. It sure looked like someone lived here, or at least took really, really good care of the place. How did Ethan possibly find the time to keep a house he didn't even live in dust-free?

She peered up the stairs, still feeling like a trespasser in Ethan's home, but after seeing the … well, perfection of the first floor, she couldn't resist heading up to get a peek at the bedrooms. All those years of dreaming about what the inside of this old hotel looked like had never prepared her for the reality of it.

Thick folk-patterned carpet cushioned her steps as she climbed the stairs, and when she reached the top, a wide hallway stretched both left and right. She headed to the left, catching her breath as she poked her head into each doorway. Every single bedroom was decorated like the B and B rooms at the front of the house, with a casual elegance and thick, soft duvets on the beds.

After she'd seen the four bedrooms to the left of the stairway, she turned to check out the other end of the hallway. The first bedroom looked like a nanny's room, and the next one was decorated like a nursery, with bright blue walls and white furniture.

At the end of the hallway was a double door, and Josie gasped as she opened it and got a look at the master suite. A king-sized four-poster bed sat between two huge windows, a lacy canopy softening its lines. Acres of pillows and a downy comforter made her wonder how anyone could leave that bed in the morning.

Especially if a man like Ethan was still in it.

She shook her head, walking slowly across the plush carpet to three doors on the same wall. The one on the right held a walk-in closet bigger than her apartment's bathroom. The door on the left opened into a huge dressing room decorated in deep rose, teal, and gold tones. A huge beveled mirror sat in one corner, and there were built-in drawers and cubbies covering one full wall.

Oh Lord. Steph was right. Who would
not
want to live here?

A cushioned window seat with colorful pillows made Josie sigh, just aching to curl up with a cup of cocoa and a novel. She looked back through the door toward the bed.
After
curling up with Ethan in that big, lovely bed, that is.

She pulled the lacy curtain aside and had a clear view of the back patio, the flower gardens, the … wishing well? Avery's wishing well?

Her knees buckled, sending her pitching forward toward the window seat.

*   *   *

“Whatcha doing, munchkin?”

Avery looked up, fuzzy brown hairs peeking from beneath her Red Sox hat. “Making wishes.” She closed her eyes and flicked a penny into the water.