Forsaking Gray (The Colloway Brothers Book 1) (27 page)

I remove the blindfold, softly kissing each one of her eyelids before she opens them. I’m entranced by her and it takes all of my willpower to continue down the path I have laid out in my mind, because all I want to do is pull her up and slam her against the closest wall while I impale her on my shaft.

Instead, I rise and take another sip of the champagne, but rather than swallowing, I wind my arms underneath her thighs, pull her to my mouth and latch onto her already hard clit. I let the bubbles fizz around her sensitive flesh before I swallow. She cries out, pushing her pelvis further into my face. I suck her with fervor until she explodes in my arms, my name rolling off her tongue like a prayer. I don’t stop until the shudders subside and she releases the vice grip her legs have on my head.

Scooping her up in my arms, I ravage her mouth for several minutes like a starved man before I can’t stand not being inside her a second longer. I turn her around and gently push her torso down on the table.

“Arms above your head, hands flat on the table, Livvy.”

“Gray, please. I ache.”

I want to inhale her. Own her. Crawl inside her and never come up for air. My body is a live wire, every nerve ending a tiny spark that fires with each brush of her flesh on mine.

“Let me enjoy this gorgeous view first,” I reply roughly, caressing her flawless porcelain skin, starting at the top of her spine. Bending down, I run my tongue between the crack of her ass, circling her rosette, and the long moan she lets out breaks the thin thread of restraint I’ve been hanging onto since the second I walked into my apartment. I stand, find her entrance and slam home in one hard thrust. She feels so fucking good I almost come instantly. I have to bite the inside of my lip to redirect my mind from anything else besides coating her with my seed prematurely.

“You’re a fucking vision,” I rasp, withdrawing almost all the way before pressing into her again, slowly this time. I watch my cock, slick with her juices, sink into heaven and close my eyes in pure ecstasy. Nothing in my life will ever feel as good as this. I slowly push into her again and again until she begs for more.

“Harder. Harder, Gray.”

I lean down and gently bite her shoulder, whispering, “No, angel. I’m going to make you come undone. Mindless with desire.”

“I am,” she pants. “I already am.” She reaches around to grab my ass, trying to make me move faster. I move them back.

“Don’t move,” I growl. Ecstasy calls us, but I deny it.
Not yet
.

Holding her in place, I savor our joined flesh as I thrust slowly, intent on setting my own pace. But all too soon pure euphoria engulfs every cell in my body and I can’t hold back any longer. As her walls pulse, I stand, tighten my grip on her hips and drive harder and rougher, wringing every morsel and shred of rapture from Livvy’s lips before we both fly apart. My apartment fills with our cries of passion and professions of love.

Minutes later, I’m still inside her heat, our breathing finally evening out. My legs feel like Jell-O and my body is spent, but I’ve never felt more content in my life. I’m going to marry this woman. And if I have my way, it will be soon.

Chapter 37

Strong, comforting arms hold me and I lay quietly, relishing every single body part that’s still sore and tingling. I slowly replay each sinful moment on the table, on the couch, in the shower, against the wall. The way I sucked him off in front of his full-length mirror was one of the most erotic things I have ever done. The ecstasy that pinched his face and every corded muscle while he held my hair to guide himself in and out of my mouth was a sight that will be forever branded into my memory.

Gray gave me so many orgasms I lost count. I remember the exact whispered words when I told him I couldn’t take any more.
“I’ve had years to learn your body like only I can. I know your every moan, your every tremble, every hitch of your breath, and what each means. I know when you’ve had enough and you aren’t even close, angel.”
The words still send shivers down my spine.

His soft snore indicates he’s still in a deep sleep and while I have to use the bathroom, I don’t dare move. I can’t. I’m soaking in the feeling of his body underneath mine, and the scent of sex that still permeates the air all around us. It’s only eight a.m. and I should still be tired, but I’m not. My body hums like low volt electricity runs just beneath the skin.

I drink in his beautiful face while he’s so tranquil. He looks younger in sleep. His thick, inky lashes lay gently on the top of his cheeks. I always wondered why some men get blessed with lashes that women pay to duplicate. Of course, I could say that about every feature on Gray’s face. His full, pink lips are perfect and I love to run my tongue along the dip at the top. Sharp, angular cheekbones are high and sculpted. And his eyes. His eyes are simply enthralling. Whenever they latch onto mine, they trap me in their depths and I never want to leave. I clearly hear every word he silently speaks with them. It’s like we have our own secret, wordless language.

The urge to spill my past was on the tip of my tongue all night, but it kept getting pushed back inside with each round of new pleasure he’d give me. I was greedy. I didn’t want it end. And I knew with my confession it would. By the time neither of us could take any more, shortly after three, I fell asleep in his arms within seconds. I woke up in exactly the same position.

My mind is still in a sexual haze, remembering how many times and ways we made love. Gray was true to his whispered promises earlier. He always is. It was almost as if we were trying to soak in as much of each other as possible because it would be our last night together.

How prophetic.

Chapter 38

“Angel, let me come take care of you,” I urge.

“No. I look like death warmed over, and I don’t want you to get sick.” She sounds weak and tired.

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that. We had our tongues in almost every body part possible last night, so if you’re sick, I’m already infected. Let me come over and rub your back.”

Livvy had spent most of the day throwing up, convinced she had gotten the flu from Addy, who was sick with it last week. She insisted she go home to recuperate. I’d vehemently disagreed, but lost the battle. As her future husband, it’s my job to take care of her in sickness and health and I told her as much. Then she promptly ran into the bathroom and dry heaved because there was nothing left in her stomach.

“I’ll be fine. I think maybe you wore me out last night and my defenses are weakened.”

I smile. “Exactly how weakened are they?” I ask in a low voice.
Weak enough to agree to marry me if I ask? Weak enough to tell me why you left?

She chuckles lightly but takes a few moments to respond. When she does, I suck in a breath. “Pretty weak.”

“Livvy…” It’s one word, but it says so much. Pleads for everything she’s been denying me. Answers.

The silence is deafening. Will she tell me anything? Will she finally trust me with the truth? Do I really want to know?

“I’m sorry I hurt you, Gray,” she says quietly.

Yeah, I’m sorry too.
“Will you ever tell me why?” Now that she’s opened this can of worms I can’t stop myself from asking. It’s been close to a month since I hired Robert Townley. The only time I’ve heard from him was four days ago, and it was short and sweet.
“Have a lead I’m following.”

“I…I want to. I just don’t know if I can.”

I sigh and lean back against the headboard of my bed. “This secret, whatever it is, is going to eat away at us until there’s nothing left.” I don’t want to put a voice to it because it makes it too real, but I have no other choice. No matter how bad this is, she needs to tell me if we have any chance of making it.

“I know,” she whispers.

“Dammit, Livia. I want to marry you, have kids with you and grow old with you. I want to just simply accept that you’re back in my life, but the truth is, I don’t know when you’re going to pick up and walk back out of it again without a goddamn word, and I’m telling you right now, that will annihilate me.”

“I won’t. I swear it. I’m not going anywhere, Gray. I love you.”

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You loved me before.”

She sucked in a sharp breath. “I never stopped loving you. I just…had to go away for a while.”

“Why? Tell me why.”

“Gray, please. Give me some time,” she pleads. And it just makes me angry, this lack of trust she has in me. In
us
. We’ve been back together for a month and not one word. It’s always the elephant in the room, except either the room is shrinking or that big, fat, grey animal is getting bigger because it’s getting to the point where it can no longer be ignored. My resentment is burning hot again and it’s clear that poisonous cloud has completely escaped its confines and I don’t know if I can shove it back in.

“Time? You’ve had five years, Livvy. Five years to contact me and put this to rest, but you didn’t. And we wouldn’t even be together if I wasn’t the one to pursue you.
Again
.” And if I’m honest, that’s probably what hurts the most.

“I—”

“You know what, you should get some rest. We’ll talk about this another time.”

“Gray—”

“I love you, Livvy.” And I hang up before she has a chance to respond or I say something I’ll truly regret. Words are powerful weapons, once spoken you can’t take them back and it’s impossible to sidestep the venom they spew. I want my forever with Livvy and if I start spouting off words that come from a place of hurt, I know I’ll just make things worse.

For the next few hours, I pour myself into work and I try to forget it all. The hurt. The pain. The betrayal. I try to forget the days that I drank myself into a stupor to numb the bone-deep agony. I try to convince myself it’s probably a good thing she went back home tonight, but I never was a very good liar. Even as angry and hurt as I am, I still want her by my side. And what kind of fool or sucker does that make me? I’m an addict and Livvy is my drug of choice, no matter how harmful she may be for me.

Finally at midnight, I’m exhausted. I’ve fallen asleep sitting up twice already. I’m just turning off my reading lamp when I get a text and as I read it, I realize all the euphemisms and idioms created about skeletons in the closet are true. That door is better left closed. With a fucking industrial sized padlock so thick there’s no way to ever pry it open.

Seconds, minutes, hours tick by as I stare at the three words that send my entire world spinning and crashing to the ground once again, destroying every shred of trust I had foolishly and carelessly rebuilt with Livvy.

These would be the words to end us and now it’s crystal clear to me why she kept her silence. She betrayed me in the worst possible way.

“She was married.”

Chapter 39