Forsaking Gray (The Colloway Brothers Book 1) (22 page)

I don’t, though. I simply let her walk out and close the door softly behind her.

But, strangely, I feel relief. Because if I feel like I
might
be able to tell Barb, maybe that means someday I’ll be able to tell Gray.

Maybe I’m not giving Gray enough credit.

Maybe I should trust him with my secret.

Maybe he would understand.

Maybe he would forgive me.

Maybe I should tell him about
our baby
.

Maybe.

Chapter 28

It’s been ten minutes and Livvy’s still in the bathroom. Two more and I’m going after her. I knew it would be hard for her to see my mom again, because the two of them were very close, and I suddenly realize that I was so self-absorbed during these past few years about Livvy, not letting anyone ask questions or even mention her name, that I didn’t understand how much my mom has missed her too. My mom only has boys so Livvy was the closest thing to a daughter she ever had. Then one day she was just gone. I guess we all mourned Livvy, in a way, but I should have paid more attention to my mother’s feelings.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” I say, gripping the counter I’m leaning against.

“Whatever for, Gray?” she responds. She’s like the Energizer Bunny in the kitchen, constantly cutting or mixing or cleaning. She never sits still. She never sits, period.

“For…” I don’t even know exactly how to say it.
For being a self-absorbed ass? For never letting you grieve with me? For not comforting you when you also lost someone important?

But she knows what I’m trying to say and she lets me off the hook, laying a hand on my arm. “It was a difficult time for all of us Gray, and we all handle crisis differently. It’s okay.” She turns back to chopping onions and I push from the counter to check on my woman.

“I’ve worried about you, you know.”

“I know, Mom.”

“Do you?” she asks. She sets down the knife and turns toward me. “I don’t ever think I’ve witnessed a man break like you did when Livia left.”

“I know it was bad for a while, but I pulled out of it.”

She smiles sadly. “You pulled yourself out of the
worst
of it, you mean. You never pulled yourself out of it completely. You work yourself into the ground. You don’t date. I rarely see you smile.”

“What are you saying, Mom? That you don’t want me with Livia again?”

“No, Gray. That’s not at all what I’m saying. I love Livia like she was my own child. What I’m saying is that you look
happy
, son. Happier than I’ve seen you in a long time.” Only what I heard was “
happier than before she left you”
and it brought my mood elevator down a few floors.

“I am, Mom,” I say, hoping I sound convincing. Because it’s true. I
am
happy, but that little noxious cloud of doubt that I’ve been trying to shove into a fucking box and bury under two tons of steel, keeps slowly seeping out, poisoning my mind, undermining my confidence in us.

I’m almost to the door when it opens and Livvy walks out, eyes red from crying. And the second I set my sights on her, the cloud dissipates like it was never there. All feels right in my world once again. That’s what being in her presence does for me. It centers me. It keeps any uncertainty or misgivings I have about our future at bay. I want to wrap myself up in her and never let go. Hell, I want to climb inside of her and live there for the rest of my days.

Then her back is against the wall, her face in my hands and her lips on mine. Her body softens into me as her hands grip my waist. A quiet moan escapes between our fused mouths and I’m not sure if it came from her or me.

“Get a fucking room, for Christ’s sake.” My brother Conn’s voice penetrates the sexual mist that’s heavy around us. “Better yet, go to a hotel, because I certainly don’t need to hear the headboard banging or the springs squeaking or any fucking moaning coming from your room tonight, Gray.”

Pulling Livvy into my side, I turn to my brother, a shit-eating grin on my face. “Wear earplugs, then.”

He walks by us, mumbling something under his breath about not needing that visual.

The rest of the afternoon goes by smoothly. Livvy helps my mom in the kitchen, just like old times, and my brothers and I watch the Wolverines kick some Gopher ass while downing a few Coronas. This feels domesticated…and fucking amazing.

I don’t know a lot of men that truly crave, with their entire being, to be tied to a woman for the rest of their lives, but I do. I watch Livvy move around the kitchen in tandem with Mom, like she’s done it hundred times before, and I can imagine holidays and barbecues here. I can envision our children running around with their cousins and the house so full of noise and laughter that it will be hard to carry on a conversation. I want that. All of it.

I know we just reunited, and sometimes it feels like this secret she carries is the goddamn Grand Canyon between us, but Jesus, I want to ask her to marry me. Again. I don’t want to push her by moving too fast, but I don’t know how long I can hold off either. I just don’t want her to walk back out of my life.

Being engaged didn’t prevent that before.
Fuck. That damn toxin is seeping back out and now it has a voice.

The doorbell rings, and now I’m restless, so I rise to answer. When I open the door, I see an absolutely stunning young woman standing in front of me, with long dark hair and big brown eyes. “Alyse, my you’ve grown up.” I grab her in a giant hug, twirling her around like I used to when she was younger. She’s laughing, but suddenly stops, and that’s when I notice the egghead still standing on the stoop with a scowl on his face and steroids dripping from his pores. I instantly don’t like him.

I set her down and extend my hand. “Gray Colloway.” He grips it and squeezes like he’s trying to crush every bone just to prove his manhood. I squeeze harder. Asshole.

“Finn.”

“Finn?” I can’t stop the sarcasm that drips thickly from my question. “Just Finn? Like, just Cher?”

He smiles smugly and I want to wipe the fucking floor with it. It’s been a long time since I’ve met someone that irritates the shit out of me before they even speak, but the arrogance oozing off this punk is foul smelling and lethal. He’s bad news. And not nearly anywhere in the vicinity of being good enough for Alyse.

“Yes, just Finn.” Alyse winces when he pulls her to him and, so help me, I want to haul him out back and have him go three rounds with the Colloway brothers. Then we’ll see who’s smiling, fucker.

An hour later, Asher grabs another beer from the fridge and leans back against the counter. “What’s the deal with Popeye over there?” he asks, clearly talking about Finn. I haven’t missed the way Ash’s eyes have been running over Livvy’s sister… and neither has
Finn
.

The asshole won’t let her leave his side and constantly has a possessive arm or hand on her. It’s not lost on me that’s the way I react around Livvy, but this is different. While mine stems from deep, soul-wrenching love, his is just pure possessiveness. He has a beautiful woman on his arm and it pumps his ego to call her his girlfriend.

Guys like that are a dime a dozen, ladies. Kick their asses to the fucking curb because they are fouler than rotten garbage, and they will suck the very life out of your soul until you’re filled with doubt and self-loathing.

And Alyse…I can see she’s grown into a hell of a woman who deserves a lot more than what this asshole has to offer. Which is nothing but heartache and possibly a few broken bones if she’s not careful.

“He’s a tool.” I don’t know what else to say about the douche. He’s currently “between jobs”, which means he’s a fucking loser who’s mooching off of a very successful and beautiful woman. Alyse graduated from college in just two and a half years and started her own auditing firm last year. And come to find out, Alyse’s specialty is forensic auditing, which promptly got Asher’s attention. I could see the gears clicking a hundred miles per hour in my brother’s head. He wants her.

“She’s not your type, Asher, so just forget whatever plan you’ve concocted in that
little
head of yours.” I emphasize little, so he knows I know exactly what he’s thinking. The last thing I need is for there to be tension between our families because Alyse is the only living blood relative Livvy has and she’ll be spending a lot of time with us. And Asher isn’t much better than Conn when it comes to running through women at lightening speed. Talk about an awkward family dinner.

I take a swallow of my own beer and turn my gaze on Livvy, who’s sitting next to Alyse in deep conversation. She’s so damn beautiful it hurts to look at her. I realize that I’m completely whipped, but I don’t give a flying fuck. If I could live inside her pussy and never come up for air, I would.

“Did you see that bruise on Alyse’s arm?” Ash asks on a low growl.

Yes. Yes, I did. And it’s eerily in the shape of a couple of thick male fingers. I bet if we put Finn’s up to them, we’d find a perfect match.

“Yeah. Come on, let’s get back.” I plan on squeezing my way onto the already full couch, even if I have to pull Livvy onto my lap. I just need her as close to me as possible.

It’s okay, I own my caveman tendencies.

____________

“What’s going on between Asher and Alyse?” Livvy asks while brushing her teeth. I love that we’ve fallen into our same comfortable routine. It warms my insides.

Just after dinner when bonehead went outside for a smoke that smelled suspiciously like skunk—yet
another
strike against him—Ash cornered Alyse in the kitchen and, while I didn’t hear their heated conversation, I saw him pointing to her bruises. And I know a “fuck you” when it’s being mouthed, which clearly Alyse was. She’s stubborn. A lot like her sister.

“What do you mean?” I knew exactly what she meant, but I was going to nip this thing in the bud with my brother before he got any further down the road with his crazy-assed ideas about Alyse. Asher may like things a little rough in the bedroom, but that’s all consensual. He’s insanely protective of women and would never, ever harm them. And he detested men that thought they could prey on the physically weaker sex. Finn is a pinhead and it was clear to everyone tonight that he regularly manhandles Alyse. I can already see Ash has appointed himself Alyse’s knight in shining armor and intends to slay the dragon that’s threatening to harm her.
Has
harmed her already. And Ash is like a dog with a bone. A big, vicious, fucking pit bull. He won’t stop until he’s shredded the opponent to pieces and they’re lying dead in a heap at his feet. The Colloway brothers are a lot alike in that regards.

The look Livvy gives me lets me know she knows I know and I’m not fooling her one bit. “He’s just concerned about her, Livvy. He should be,” I add.

She rinses her mouth, places her toothbrush on the sink and turns to me. “I know. I’m worried about her too. I don’t like that jerk.”

Tonight Livvy’s wearing short shorts and a tiny white tank that allows me an almost unobstructed view of her luscious, hard nipples. I got hard the instant she walked into the bathroom. Now the only thing I can think about is sucking one of those ripe berries into my mouth through the thin fabric. My head is spinning with a thousand things I want to do to her, each dirtier than the one before.

“I think we’re on the same page there,” I rumble, my voice dropping an octave. Livvy swallows and I see the pulse in her slender neck flutter. I bring my hand up to thrum one of her hardened nubs. Her eyes close. Her breaths quicken and I can smell her want. I lift her onto the cold granite counter and suck a dusky peak into my mouth, wetting the cloth in the process.

“Gray.” My name is a sweet, breathy melody falling from her tongue. One I want to listen to on replay every day. I quickly strip her of the barriers that keep her naked flesh from mine. I find her wet core with my fingers and groan. She’s ready for me. She’s
always
ready for me.

“I can’t be gentle, Livvy,” I murmur as I move to the neglected nub and work my fingers in and out of her silky sheath.

Over the last few hours, I’ve had to have quite a few heart to hearts with my dick, who begged me to lock ourselves away the second we stepped foot in this house and fuck his woman long into the night. I’ve refused him, but now I’m letting him out to take over fully.

“Ready to fly, baby?” Her eyes flare in sweet submission, making my cock weep so much my boxers are now coated.

With a flick of my wrists, my underwear lands at my feet. I pull Livvy to the edge, plunging unceremoniously into her warmth. We both moan in sublime pleasure. Holding her head where I want it, I ravage her mouth the way I’ve been dying to since she had her legs spread for me in the car earlier.

“You’re it for me, Livvy,” I rasp against her lips between thrusts. Deep, shallow, shallow. Then so deep, I feel her cervix on the tip of my cock. My eyes roll back in sheer rapture. Her walls are hugging me so tight I’m not going to last. Her legs are wrapped around me so snuggly, it’s almost painful, but fuels my raging desire for her all the more. “I love you so fucking much it hurts.” I don’t know what it is about being inside her, but my deepest thoughts come flowing out without a filter.