Forsaking Gray (The Colloway Brothers Book 1) (25 page)

When I reach the edge of the dance floor, Grant is waiting for me. Now that I’m finally in front of him, I don’t know what to do. It feels like a betrayal to Gray to hug him, but it feels equally wrong not to embrace the person who means so much to me and to whom I owe my life. But in the end I don’t have to decide because suddenly I’m wrapped in his strong arms and can do nothing but hang on while he drinks me in. His scent wraps around me and it’s so comforting, it’s unnerving.

I pull away and he places a lingering kiss on my forehead.

“Your friends?” He nods to the dance floor where Addy and Kamryn are watching us with keen interest.

“Yes. Addy and Kamryn.”

“Addy the brunette?” he asks, his gaze finding her again.

“Yes.”

He acts like he doesn’t know her, which confuses me because he found her in the first place. To this day I’m not sure how he knew about her or that she was looking for a roommate, but in the end, it worked out and we are the best of friends. She wasn’t there when he helped me move in, but still. I never asked, because quite frankly I didn’t want to know, but all that’s quickly forgotten when he says those four dreaded words that never lead to anything good.

“We need to talk.” Entwining our hands together, he pulls me through the throng until we reach the bar and the man that’s been following me. “Thanks, man. I’ll be in touch,” he addresses my stalker, pulling me toward the exit without so much as an introduction.

“Grant, what’s going on?” I ask as he drags me quickly down the sidewalk and around the corner. Even though my mind is racing and I’m having a mini meltdown as to why he’s here, I can’t help but appreciate how very good he looks in his tight, well-worn blue jeans, fitted tee and black combat boots. Except that his hair is a little shorter, he looks exactly as I remember him.

“Not here, Livia.” He walks at a clipped pace until we reach a nondescript, dark blue Kia Rio another block and a half away. It’s clearly a rental, as the Grant I knew would never drive such a car. He’d be on his bike. That, and the Hertz receipt I see sitting on the console are dead giveaways.

Ever the gentleman, he opens the passenger door and waves me in. I huff and comply, my short black dress riding up my bare thighs as I make my way into the small interior. Grant notices and even in the low light, I see his eyes darken. When I hear him curse under his breath, I quickly pull it down as far as it will go—which isn’t far—not wanting to give him the wrong idea.

Quickly he’s settled and we’re on our way. Grant clearly remembers the way to my apartment; because I’m not giving directions and he’s not asking.

“Are you going to tell me what the hell you’re doing here and why you’ve had someone following me?” Now that the shock of seeing Grant has worn off, I’m suddenly starting to panic. I feel my throat swell and my lungs constrict. One, two, three, four, five. In, out. In, out. Breathe, Livia. Breathe. I take in slow, raspy gulps of air, trying to calm myself.

“Baby, are you okay?” Grant places his hand over mine and squeezes. I calm slightly, but his endearment feels wrong. I can’t let him think there is something more here than friendship. I love Gray with every fiber of my being and nothing will ever change that.

“Grant—” I start, but he interrupts.

“It’s okay.” He releases my hand and I feel oddly bereft. I hate myself. Grant is a friend and I do love him. One of the closest that I have.
Had
. I reach over and take his hand back in mine. He looks over and smiles, and suddenly an intense calmness come over me.

“I missed you,” I say. It’s true. I’ve missed Grant something fierce and I didn’t realize exactly how much until just now.

“Me too,” he replies softly, with a soft squeeze of his fingers.

“Are you going to tell me what’s happening?”

“When we get to your place. Will we be alone?”

“Why?” I ask, tentatively. I trust Grant with my life, but I don’t want to put either of us into an awkward position by having to turn down his advances, because I can clearly see his want for me flashing like a neon sign.

He turns his head and smirks. I may be in love with Gray, but even I am not immune to Grant’s charms. “Just to talk, baby. Nothing else.”

I sigh in relief. “Yes, it’s still just Addy and me, and that was her party we just left.” And suddenly I remembered that I didn’t bring my purse, which means I don’t have my phone or my keys. I groan and throw my head back against the headrest. Gray will be freaking out if I don’t call him soon because it’s already close to eleven. And we won’t be able to get into our apartment until Addy gets back.
Shit
.

“What is it?”

“I forgot my purse. Which has my keys. And my phone.”

“Don’t worry.” He doesn’t elaborate and I don’t ask. I know Grant has a sordid background since he was mixed up with Peter, but we’ve never talked about it.

“I need my phone.”

“Here, use mine.” He pulls it out and hands it to me. I can’t call Gray from another man’s phone. There will be too many questions. Questions that I simply cannot answer. So instead, I dial Addy’s number and luckily she answers. It’s noisy and I can barely hear her.

“Addy, it’s Livia,” I yell.

“Are you okay?” She sounds panicked and I hear her yelling for Kam.

“For god’s sake, I’m fine. I just forgot my purse. Can you grab it when you come home? I need to call Gray. He’ll be worried.” Grant stiffens beside me and releases my hand at the mention of Gray’s name. I look over at his handsome profile and notice his jaw ticking. The tension in the car suddenly feels so thick, it’s cloying. “Thanks, babe. See you in a bit,” I tell Addy as I hang up. I’m confused at Grant’s reaction, but by the way he’s working his jaw, I think it’s best not to ask.

“We only have about a half hour. She insists on coming home to save me from the Big Bad Wolf,” I laugh, only half kidding.

“She’s naïve,” he mumbles.

The rest of the ride is tense and quiet and I don’t push for answers like I want. The twenty-minute drive is one of the longest I’ve taken and by the time we reach my apartment, I’ve conjured up every single horrific scenario I can possibly think of, each one worse than the one I’d made up before. When we finally get out of the car, I think I’ve convinced myself Peter has risen from the dead and wants me back.

When we get to my apartment door, Grant pulls out a couple of screwdriver-looking things, sticks them in the lock and begins twisting them. Within seconds, I hear the lock turn. He does the same thing with the deadbolt and in less than thirty seconds, we’re in. I look at him and he silently dares to me ask, which I don’t.

Once inside, I head for the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of white wine from the fridge. For a woman who rarely drinks, I feel like that’s all I’ve been doing these past few weeks. “Want a glass?” I ask Grant.

“No.” He’s leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, watching every move I make and it’s starting to make me uncomfortable. I feel like he’s waiting to drop a Hiroshima bomb on me that will scatter my molecules to the wind and I’ll be forever lost. After I pour a healthy glass for me, I turn to him.

“Stop stalling. Tell me why you’re here.” I’m losing the battle against the water works and my eyes tear up involuntarily.

“I think you need to sit down.” There is concern and something else I can’t place in his voice.

“No. I don’t want to sit. Just tell me why the hell you’re here.”
And then fix it so I can go back to my fairytale life with Gray.

Reaching out, he takes my free hand in his and leads me to the couch. He sits me down, taking a seat on the coffee table facing me. Our knees touch and he hasn’t let go of my hand. I know this ritual well. He’s grounding me. He’s making sure I don’t break apart into a million pieces right before his eyes. He’s done this a hundred times before.
God, this is going to be bad.
I just couldn’t possibly have predicted how cruel the universe would be to me. Again.

“A video surfaced a few weeks ago.”

Chapter 34

It’s nearly midnight and I haven’t heard from Livvy yet. I’ve tried her twice, but my calls just go to voice mail. We texted a few times earlier in the evening, but I haven’t heard from her for nearly two hours and I’m trying not to worry. I’m sure she’s just on the dance floor having fun with her friends and I don’t want to seem like a controlling, possessive boyfriend who can’t let his woman out for a night of fun.

Never mind the fact that’s exactly what you are, asshole.

I take another swig of my single-malt bourbon to chase away my anxiety. I trust Livvy. It’s the rest of the entire male population I don’t trust. Livvy’s an extremely beautiful and desirable woman, even if she doesn’t think so, and I know every heterosexual man at that bar will be salivating over her. When she described, in detail, what she was wearing, I begged her to put on a sack, or sweatpants, but she scoffed, saying no one would pay her a lick of attention when she was with Addy and Kamryn. They were both beautiful in their own right, but they didn’t hold a candle to my Livvy.

To take my mind off the fact that my beautiful woman is a half a country away, and probably being eye-fucked by every male within a twenty-yard radius, I turn my attention back to the latest report that Livvy put together in her research of the HMT personnel. She’s done a great job these past few weeks at organizing and combing through the inordinate amount of documentation and data that Camille pulled together for me, but so far we’ve come up with nothing that points to a leak inside that organization. But I know it’s there, and I will find it…eventually.

I’m about half way through the report when my phone rings and I pick it up without looking at the caller ID, fully expecting it to be Livvy. Only the female voice that grates through the speaker is not Livvy.

“Gray, it’s Lena.”

Christ.

I sigh loudly, hoping she’ll hear and take a fucking hint. “What do you want, Lena?”

“I wanted to talk. You’ve not answered any of my calls or texts.”
Then get a clue, you stupid psycho stalker.

“It’s over, Lena. I’m not sure what there is to talk about.” I stand and walk to the mini bar to pour myself another two fingers of the caramel liquor. I’m going to need it for this conversation because as much as I want to, hanging up on her just isn’t the right thing to do. Maybe this will give her the closure she needs and she will leave me the fuck alone.

“It’s not over for me,” she says softly. Her sniffles make my eyes roll.
For the love of all that’s holy.
Yes, it’s challenging to find a mentally stable, somewhat intelligent, attractive woman who wants a no-strings relationship. And clearly Lena falls into the mentally
unstable
category.

Fuck me.

“I’m not sure what you want me to say, Lena. I was up front with you from the very beginning. I told you it was just physical and that I was emotionally unavailable.” Because Livvy has my heart now and always.

“I love you, Gray.” I sigh heavily, throwing back the entire glass of bourbon in one swallow. The burn feels good.

“Lena, listen to me and listen good. You don’t love me. We fucked. That’s it. Don’t make this into something it’s not. And please don’t call me again. You need to move on.”

I hang up without waiting for a response and flop down onto the bed, my head turning to look at the digital clock.
12:06 a.m.
Asher and I have a 6:30 breakfast meeting with the CEO of Hammond Consulting, a small financial consulting group we’re interested in buying. I should be sleeping, but I can’t. Not without making sure Livvy is okay. I’m just picking up the phone to call her again when it rings.

Livvy.

“Angel, it’s late. Everything okay?”

“Y-yes. Why wouldn’t it be?” She’s lying. I can tell by the wobble in her voice. She is not okay in the least.

“Livvy, what’s wrong.”

“Nothing.” I sit in silence, waiting for her to tell me. To trust me. “I just got into a fight with Addy, that’s all.” I don’t know much about Addy, but I don’t think that’s what’s wrong. Disappointment rushes through me hard.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sure you’ll kiss and make up.”

“I’m tired, Gray. Do you mind if we just talk about this tomorrow?”

“Are you sure that’s all that’s wrong, angel?”
Please tell me the truth.

She sighs, responding quietly. “I miss you, Gray. I wish you were here.” Her voice sounds teary, like she’s been crying. I ache with the need to hold her. To comfort her. To fuck her into confiding in me.

“I wish you were in my bed.”

“So do I,” she whispered.

We were silent for what seemed like several minutes before she spoke again. “Gray?”

“Yes, angel,” I reply softly.

“Will you stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep?”

“I’d do anything for you, Livvy. Anything. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

About thirty minutes later I hear soft, even breathing and I know she’s finally asleep, but I’m loath to hang up, so I don’t. I put my phone on speaker, lay it down on the pillow next to me, and fall asleep to the quiet sounds of the woman who has me firmly by the balls. And I’ve made my peace with that.