Fort Morgan (40 page)

“
Kate,” Ivan
said.

“
Katia,” she corrected.
“Justin, this is Ivan. You remember me talking about
Ivan.”

“
The aged danceur with the
Denver Ballet?” The young man lifted his chin in a kind of nod. He
lifted an edge of his mouth in a smile. “Aren’t you out of your
league here?”

“
I work for the Ballet
Federation,” Ivan said. “I am on-call to fill in when a male
danceur
cannot
perform.”

The young man looked Ivan up and down. Ivan
had the distinct impression the look was more sexual in nature than
to assess his capacity to dance. Ivan looked at Kate.

“
This is Justin,” Kate
said. “My fiancé.”

“
Nice to meet you,” Ivan
said.

He gave Kate a nod and turned to move away.
She held onto his arm. He turned back to her. Unsure of what she
wanted, he asked the first thing that came to mind.

“
How is law school?” Ivan
asked.

“
I’m almost done,” Kate
said.

“
We’re waiting to get
married until she’s finished,” Justin said. “Of course, she won’t
practice. This law thing is just a phase.”

Ivan’s eyes flicked to Kate. He saw the same
desperate striving in her eyes that he’d known when they were
together. She gave him a slight smile that indicated that she was
now striving for something big. He looked back at the young
man.

“
That’s right,” the young
man said. He stood a little straighter but still wasn’t as tall as
Ivan. “My family is one of the wealthiest in the country. She’ll
use her legal skills to help with the family
businesses.”

“
How nice,” Ivan said. “If
you will excuse me. . .”

Kate continued to hold onto his arm. When he
looked at her this time, her eyes were a mask of sorrow.

“
Justin, would you mind
getting us a drink?” Kate asked.

“
Of course,” the young man
said. “Now, no funny business. I’ll just be over there.”

He touched Kate’s shoulder and moved
away.

“
You’re marrying him?”
Ivan asked.

“
Of course not,” Kate
said. “He’s gay. I’m not going to spend my life shackled to some
gay dude.”

Ivan smiled. Kate was no fool.

“
You should have heard
him,” Kate said in a low tone. “The entire performance he was
talking about your ‘package.’ So gross. I’m sorry I ever told him
about you.”

Ivan gave her an uncomfortable smile.

“
How long have you been
here?” Kate asked.

“
A few years,” Ivan
said.

“
Why didn’t you call me?”
Kate asked.

“
You were pretty clear
that you were done with me,” Ivan said.

“
There’s done and then
there’s done,” Kate said. She looked up at the uncomfortable smile
on Ivan’s face. “What about your little ballerina? The one you were
in love with?”

Ivan shook his head like he didn’t know what
she was talking about.

“
Sissy,” Kate said through
her teeth. “I’m talking about Sissy.”

“
She no longer dances
ballet,” Ivan said with a note of finality.

“
Oh.” Kate’s sarcastic
smile fell. “I’m sorry. I know how much. . .”

The young man returned. He held out a drink
for Kate, which she took.

“
It’s wonderful to see
you,” Ivan leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I must leave. I am
accompanying the star of the show.”

The young man held out his hand to Ivan.

“
A pleasure to meet you,”
Ivan said.

As he moved away, he felt a tug. Kate had
slipped him her phone number. He looked down at his hand. The young
man had also given Ivan his phone number. Ivan stopped at the first
trashcan and dropped the phone numbers inside. He found the
ballerina deep in conversation. With her permission, he left the
party.

He quickly changed out of his costume and
wiped off his makeup. He took a taxi to a private Russian Bath,
where he took a long sauna followed by a soak in the bath and a
massage. A few hours later, he was back in his street clothing and
into a cab. He stopped at a gorgeous apartment tower in Manhattan.
He greeted the doorman and took the elevator upstairs. Once in his
open loft apartment, he drank a protein smoothie and changed into a
tank-top and exercise pants. The lights were dim, so he took off
his eye protection. He went through an hour of Pilates stretches.
He had just grabbed a towel and a cold bottle of water when there
was a knock at the door. He checked the time — 2:55 a.m. Smiling,
he went to open the door.

The door opened to a dark-haired woman with
steel blue eyes accentuated by her doctor’s blue scrubs. Her
name-tag said, “Dr. Nadia Kerminoff, Emergency Department.” She
carried a small duffle bag over her shoulder. He squinted at the
light in the hallway.

“
I come bearing gifts,”
she said in perfect Russian.

She held up a plastic bag with to-go
containers inside. He smiled and stepped back to let her in. As she
passed, she stretched up to kiss his lips. His hand caressed her
behind and she came into the apartment.

“
How was the Emergency
Department, Nadia?” he asked in Russian.

“
When?” she responded.
“Today? Yesterday?”

She shook her head.

“
I’m losing track of
days,” she said.

“
It’s been three,” he said
with a smile.

“
Three days,” she said.
“Gone.”

She shook herself like a dog, and he smiled.
He started taking containers out of the plastic bag. She sniffed
him.

“
Russian bath.”

She squinted at him. She turned away from
him to get plates from the cabinet.

“
How was the performance?”
she asked in an overly casual tone.

“
Good,” he said. “Don’t
worry, doctor. The massage and sauna were merely preventative. I am
in
fine
health.”

His voice was laced with innuendo, which
made her smile.

“
You are not a young man
anymore,” she said.

“
Yes, I am aware, doctor,”
he said. He turned around and hugged her from behind. “Thank you
for caring about me.”

She turned and looked at him. She hugged him
tight.

“
I worry about you,” she
said in perfect American English.

“
I know,” he said in his
Russian-accented English. “I am grateful for your care.”

She smiled at him and carried the plates to
a small dining room table. Lights from the building surrounding
them glittered in the plate glass windows. The table seemed to hang
in the air.

“
Did you have to stay?”
she asked.

“
Yes,” Ivan
said.

He brought the to-go boxes to the table and
sat down. He started opening the boxes.

“
Was it awful?” she asked
as she filled her plate with sushi. “Sashimi’s there.”

“
Yes,” Ivan said with a
nod of thanks.

He opened the box and put some on his plate.
He offered it to her. She shook her head and pointed at the sushi
with an end of her chopsticks.

“
I loved those things as a
kid,” she said. “All the beautiful ballerinas standing right
there. . .”

She put a piece of sushi roll in her mouth
and looked at him. She smiled, and he returned her smile.

“
I saw Katia,” Ivan
said.

“
Katia — the one who let
you get away?” she said. “That Katia.”

“
Da,” Ivan
said.

“
And?” she asked in
Russian.

“
She is engaged to a
wealthy, homosexual young man,” he said in Russian.

“
Who is paying for her
schooling?” she asked.

“
I assume,” he said. “And
everything else. Diamonds, expensive clothing. . .
Expensive apartment, I’m sure.”

“
And you?” she furrowed
her brow. “How did it feel to see her again?”

Ivan shrugged. She reached out and covered
his hand with hers. He looked at her. She raised her eyebrows to
encourage him to talk. He looked confused.

“
I ask because I want to
know,” Nadia said. “I care, and I am listening.”

“
I was exhausted,
sweating, sore. . . my ankles ached, and I felt ancient,”
Ivan said. “She was ridiculous. Reeked of cigarettes. Gave me her
number, but so did he.”

Nadia laughed.

“
You weren’t tempted?” she
asked.

He gave her a long look before smiling.

“
What?” she
asked.

“
I was wondering why you
ask,” he said.

“
So you
were
tempted!”

“
Don’t put words in my
mouth,” Ivan said. “And, anyway, why do you care? You want this to
be. . .”

“
Casual,” Nadia switched
to American English again. “I don’t want anything serious. I
wouldn’t have time for it now, anyway. My first and deepest love is
for my work. So, as much as I love you, I
cannot. . .”

“
Own you,” Ivan finished
her sentence in English with her. “Yes.”

“
Plus, your heart and soul
belong to Sissy,” she said with a smile.

Ivan’s face flushed. He was so flustered
that he looked away from her. She touched his hand again.

“
I love you,” she said.
“You love me. And we are not each other’s destiny.
Right?”

Ivan shrugged.

“
So were you tempted?” she
said with a laugh.

He laughed and shook his head.

“
Not even by the fiancé?”
she asked. “He sounds like a real prize.”

He smiled again.

“
Before I forget,” she
said. “There’s a message for you on the voicemail.”

He turned to look at the phone and then
turned back to look at her.

“
As you know, I love
voicemail,” she said. “Thank you for leaving me those
messages.”

She gave a shiver, and he grinned.

“
I love getting sexy
messages in my mother’s native language,” she said. “Makes me feel
filthy and so hot. My colleagues know they are from you, and they
are jealous.”

“
My pleasure,” he said in
Russian.

“
The message was from a
‘Sandy,’” she continued in English. “She said she would like to
speak to you about Sissy.”

Ivan turned to look at the phone again.

“
She is dead?” Ivan
asked.

“
She is very much alive,”
Nadia said with a smile. “I checked with a colleague in Colorado.
Sissy is in treatment again. The awful mother is out of the
picture.”

“
Thank you,” Ivan nodded.
He used his chopsticks to take a bite of sashimi.

“
That’s how I remembered
her name,” Nadia said.

“
I wondered,” he
said.

“
Names are not my
specialty,” she said. “If you love her, then I love
her.”

He looked up at her.

“
That’s just how I am,”
she said. “Plus, she saved you from the gulag. How could I not love
her?”

“
You’re sure?”

“
I am,” she
said.

“
I may leave here,” Ivan
said.

“
I assumed,” she nodded.
“I will miss you.”

He reached across the table to stroke her
cheek. He cupped her cheek. She closed her eyes and rested against
him.

“
I will miss you as well,”
he said in a low tone. “I do love you, this.”

“
I know,” she
said.

“
Come,” he said. He stood
in place. “Let me show you.”

She grinned.

“
In Russian?” she
asked.

“
Pozvol'te mne pokazat'
vam
,” he said.

“
So hot,” she said with a
smile.

She got up from her seat, and they went into
the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~

“
Did you recognize her?”
Delphie asked.

Sissy shook her head.

“
Who was she?” Abi
asked.

“
She was Sissy’s doctor
when we first came in,” Sandy said. “I remember thinking that she
acted like she knew us. She seemed to know my name and Sissy’s
history with the eating disorders. I was just grateful for her
help, so I didn’t question it.”

“
She got you right into
surgery, Sissy,” Delphie said.

“
She stayed until you were
out and made sure you were well taken care of,” Sandy said. “She’s
come by a few times to see if you’re all right.”

“
Like family,” Delphie
said.

Sandy nodded.

“
I will love her,” Sissy
said with a croak.

Delphie, Sandy, and Abi turned to look at
Sissy.

“
She loves Ivan,” Sissy
said. “I will love her, too.”

“
Who?” Ivan asked from the
doorway.

The women gave him a guilty look. The room
became uncomfortably still.

“
Dr. Nadia,” Sissy said.
“Do you still love her?”

Ivan gave something between a shrug and a
nod.

“
Then I love her, too,”
Sissy said.