Freed by Fire (19 page)

I leaned up on my elbows. “No?”

“Well,” he said, crossing his arms. “It is something that develops when your vaginal or cervical mucosa changes to a bluish or purple-red color…”

“Okay?”
Was that bad?

“It’s a result of increased bloody supply. It tells me you’re pregnant.”

Oh, so it was that bad.

“D—Dr. Kline…” I shook my head. “I can’t conceive. You told me yourself.”

He furrowed his brow and scooted over to his desk on the rolling stool. He flipped through my medical file and pulled out a piece of paper. “What the…”

“Well!” I sat up this time, waiting for his answer.

“Mrs. Morgan, I’m so sorry
.
I don’t know how this happened, but…you
are
able to conceive. Your husband,” he said, flipping the page, reading further. “Matthew Morgan is unable to father children.”

I quit breathing. Right fucking there. Done. Stopped. No more oxygen.

“No…” I whispered. “That can’t be right.”

I wanted to leap off the table and throttle the doctor as he sat there in his stupid white coat with his stupid stethoscope and nerdy glasses. I reeled through my mind. All those years of feeling like a complete and utter loser for not bei
ng able to perform nature’s most natural role for a woman. To mother a child. To give birth.

I even cried after Dr. Kline told me all of those years ago that I couldn’t conceive. My fingers itched to slap him, but I held them knotted in my lap.

“We will do a test, dear…again, I’m so very sorry. I don’t know how that happened.”

I do. You’re a moron.
“Okay, get the test.”

His expression was unreadable when he returned to the room with my test results. But the moment his lip curled into a tiny smile, I knew it was true. “You are indeed pregnant, Emery. My guess would be a little over six weeks.”

My mind whirled into dates. Six weeks…oh, shit. I must have gotten pregnant while Caid and I had sex at my mom’s house. On my old bed. Well, not only did he erase everything Matt took from me…he also gave me a little extra in return.

Fuck
.

“What was the last day of your period?”

I looked at the ceiling as I mentally calculated. “June…30
th
…I think.”

“Well, you could have conceived anywhere from around July 10
th
to the 18
th
or so. Depending on your body.”

I didn’t even notice I hadn’t got my period at the end of July.

Shit, shit, shit!

I absently made my way out of the room, complete with a bunch of paperwork in my hand about vitamins, proper diet and all the things doctor’s tell you when you’re having a baby.

“Let’s go, Maggie.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. Once we were in the parking lot, I let go. “I…I need to go to the pharmacy.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“What do you need then?”

“Prenatal vitamins.”

Maggie blinked. “For…yourself?”

“Well, they’re not for Doctor Kline.”

“Holy shit, Em.” She grinned and I grimaced. “Wait…I thought…”

“Doctor McGeriatric made an
oops
. It’s Matt who can’t have kids.”

“Oh, shit…what are you going to do? I mean…Em! You’re going to have Caid’s baby!”

She was right. It wasn’t just my baby. It was Caid’s. I instinctively rubbed my hand over my flat stomach. Something of Caid’s was growing inside of me. A smile ghosted across my face in that moment. Even if I couldn’t have him, I could have a part of him.

“When are you going to tell him?”

I blinked. “Do I have to?”

“Emery! Yes! Of course you do!” Maggie hugged me. “This isn’t something you can keep from him.” Once she let me go she held me at arm’s length. “Wait, so Matt can’t? And little blonde bimbo is having twins?”

I nodded.

“So…I wonder who the daddy is.”

I smirked. “You know what, Mags? I’ll let them figure that one out. He’s not my problem.” It may have been a little callous, but I didn’t care. He hurt me in so many ways, it was time to see him squirm. Then again, maybe he would never find out and he could spend the rest of his life with Lindsay and their babies.

I hoped for the latter. If anything, I would want him to be a good father. Even if he were a shitty spouse.

“I really could use a drink, Mags…” I grinned. “But, I’ll settle for some tea.”

We drove home to Chicago, not talking about the pregnancy or anything specific. We arrived just after seven PM and I was ready for bed.

Stepping out of the elevator on our floor, I smiled as I turned the door to go down the hall to our door. Sitting on the carpet, outside of 46C was Caid Burke.

His eyes flickered up to me and he scrambled to his feet. My heart began to hammer in my chest and Maggie tugged me forward as I had stopped walking. “Let’s go, Em,” she whispered. “You need to do this.”

I glared at her. “You called him!”

“You can’t prolong this any longer. You can be pissed at me all you want now, but someday you will thank me.”

I doubted it. I was seething mad at her. How dare she tell him to come over! She excused herself and unlocked our door, slinking in and closing it behind her.

“Hi,” Caid said. He looked perfect.

Damn it.

His hair was messy. Just the way I loved it. His eyes were twinkling green, they were beautiful in the low-lit hallway. He wore a worn grey t-shirt and jeans.

“Hi,” I said quietly.

“Em…I,” he hung his head. “I’m so sorry.” When he lifted his eyes his lip began to tremble. I wanted to kiss it so badly, but I kept back. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. Because, I can’t even forgive myself. Leeanna showed up. I don’t know why she did, but I was so drunk…”

Classic line.

He continued, “I had so much. I guess I was just happy to celebrate that night. I couldn’t wait to see you, you were all I was thinking about, love.”

I cringed inwardly at his term of endearment. “If I was all you were thinking about, then why did you let her do that?”

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “Leeanna fucked me up, Em. With all the feelings I used to have for her, fueled by all the booze I had…I just…I guess I fucked up. She ruined me, Em. And I let her.”

“How did she ruin you, Caid?” I hissed softly. I wanted to hear it. Maybe I wanted to hear how she hurt him so I wasn’t the only one who had their heart stomped on.

“When we found out Leeanna was pregnant we couldn’t have been happier. I always wanted to be a dad…”

My heart leapt.

“She wanted a little girl so badly. She bought everything pink, because she said she just knew we were having a baby girl.” He closed his eyes, and a tear trickled down his face. “Then when Caleb was born, she changed. Something was wrong. He was a boy.”

What!

“She left me. She left us.”

I wanted to surge him and wrap my arms around him so badly, but I couldn’t. I stood there, listening to him and watching him cry. It was one of the most painful things I had ever had to witness in my life.

“Leeanna married someone she met during a trip to Florida and stayed down there. She got pregnant—with a little girl—but the baby didn’t make it to full-term. Leeanna has been trying to get back in our lives for months, Emery. Caleb doesn’t even know who she is. She signed her rights over on him when he was two days old. I couldn’t let her hurt him. Not again.”

“Caid,” I whispered.

“When I said don’t hurt us, that day at the campsite. I didn’t mean you and me. I meant me and Caleb, Em.” Caid combed his fingers through his hair and stepped toward me, gently tracing his fingers down my face. “I love you. I think I loved you before I even met you.”

“Caid,” I said again. I touched his hand and leaned my face into his palm. His skin was warm and I missed his touch so much. “I have something to tell you.”

“Please just tell me you forgive me. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I promise that she’s gone. Forever, Em. I love only you.” Caid pulled me into his chest and started kissing my face. “Emery, love…tell me you heard me.”

“I’m pregnant,” I whispered, closing my eyes.

Chapter
FOURTEEN

Thursday
, August 29 – 8:13 pm

“I…I thought…” Caid said, his eyes searching mine, his tongue sticking out to dampen his dry lips.

“I’m sorry, I was wrong.” I hung my head.

“Emery,” he said softly, holding my face up to his. Caid brushed my lips with his and held in place, breathing slowly…waiting for me to respond.

I parted my lips and lifted up on my toes to kiss him. He let out a groan as we kissed. It started slow. Soft and gentle, as if we were taking our time tasting and swimming in the sensation. As I breathed “I love you” to him, his kiss deepened and became more passionate. I began to cry as I let him lift me up into his arms.

Caid backed us into a wall and started kissing across my jaw and down my neck. “Please, baby…tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

“I’m thinking how much I love you, Caid. I love you so much.” I whimpered as his hot and wet kiss was planted on the soft space of skin between my neck and shoulder. He sucked and lingered there, and I was sure he was going to leave a mark.

His mark.

I was marked.

His
.

“Come home with me, Em…I need you so much,” Caid said as his lips reached my mouth again. He pulled back and looked deep into my eyes. I could feel the strain of his erection beneath me, my body was responding like it always did when he was around.

“I need you too,” I told him. “Take me home.”

When Caid moved toward the elevator with me still in his arms I leaned in to kiss his ear. “You don’t have to carry me all the way there, Caid,” I said with a giggle.

“I don’t want to let you go,” he said, wrapping me harder into his body.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” I slid from his arms and touched my toes to the ground. I took Caid’s hand as we entered the elevator and he let me pull from his embrace long enough to press the lobby button on the panel.

I searched his face while we stood and waited for the lobby to come. He looked tired—no, exhausted. He even looked a little leaner. Had he lost weight? Regardless, he was still beautiful. A piece of art created by the gentlest and most skillful hands.

His truck was parked in front of the building. I didn’t know how I hadn’t noticed it when we came back from Belleville. Caid opened the passenger door and picked me up to kiss me again. When he set me down on the seat he reached up to touch my face. “I love you.”

I smiled at him and mouthed the words back without making a sound.

***

Thursday
, August 29 – 10:47 pm

Caid’s house was in darkness when we arrived. I asked him where Caleb was.

“He’s at his grandparents. Final week before he starts school next Tuesday.” Caid smiled as he shifted into park. He killed the engine, and the roar calmed to silence. “Ready?” he asked it so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

I smiled and nodded.

He ran around the side of my truck and scooped me right into his arms as I stepped down to the pavement. “Caid!” I said, giggling. “You are going to have to let me walk, you know.”

“Not tonight, love.”

I didn’t argue with him. I had missed him so much. He fumbled with his keys, trying to unlock the door. “Let me,” I said, taking them from him. I slid the key into the door and pushed it open. Caid crossed the threshold with me still off the ground.

I did convince him to let me walk up the stairs on my own, however. But once we reached the top I was right back where I belonged. When I felt the comforting surface of his bed, I laid back and let Caid climb on top of me. Careful not to put his weight on top of me. I laughed and pulled him right down. “You can’t hurt me,” I said.

“I know…” he whispered. “God, I fucking missed you so much, Em.”

I pulled at Caid’s shirt, and he sat up to lift it off. My legs clenched at the sight of him. His body was perfect. He had lost weight, but his torso remained taut but soft to the touch. His hands moved to my clothing and in a beat I was naked except for my bra.

Soft and heated nips and licks rained down across my chest as Caid slowly pulled down the cups in my bra. Exposing and causing my breasts to protrude right into his eager mouth and hand. He groaned as he took one nipple between his lips, slowly circling and sucking on the peak. My body bent and I cried out. How could I have forgotten the deliciousness of his mouth on me? I wanted more. Needed it.

Caid moved slowly to my other breast and performed the same torture upon the over-sensitive flesh. I curled my fingers into his hair and pulled his head harder into me. He hadn’t even touched me between my legs but I felt like I could come at any moment simply from the passionate assault on my breasts.

“Baby,” he breathed. “I need to taste you. I’ve been dying without you…”

My eyes closed as I leaned my head back into the bed, my heart flipped and thrashed in my chest. “I want you Caid, I need you. Please, taste me.”

Caid kissed down between my breasts and when he moved past my belly button he lifted his head and smiled at me. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered just as he lowered his head and planted one long, soft and sweet kiss on my belly.

On the baby.

Our
baby.

Then he shifted down the bed and lifted my legs up and over his shoulders. I cried out as I felt his hot breath on my wet skin. I knew I wouldn’t last long the moment he touched me. I was already pulsating and throbbing in anticipation of what I knew was coming.

Caid kissed my inner thighs, nipping gently with his teeth and slowly running his tongue along my folds but not
in
them. He hadn’t touched my clit and it took so much for me not to buck my hips and push my body right into his mouth.

“
Please
,” I sighed, my voice weak and needy.

He dropped his head and slowly slid his soft, hot and skillful tongue into me. He flicked it a few times, sending me spinning and out of control. Then a long and languorous swipe up to my clit. As his lips wrapped around the peak he sucked and moaned. The vibration and contact sparked my orgasm and the fire of my pleasure roared within me.

“Caid!” I cried. I let go. Pushing my fingers through my own hair, digging into my scalp as my body heaved and thrummed from my orgasm, Caid softly flicked the tip of his tongue against me until I had to beg him to stop.

He crawled up my body and dipped to stick his tongue in my mouth. “Taste yourself, love. See how good you taste on my tongue.” His tongue laved into my mouth and fluidly merged with mine. It lapped and moved in slow and sensual circles.

Caid’s pants and boxers were off without his lips leaving mine. I dug my nails into his arms as I traced them up his tight muscles. I lingered over the Maltese cross once more, then traveling down his body, holding his sides and pulling him into me.

“I want you to lay back, baby,” I breathed into his kiss. “I want to lower myself on to that beautiful cock of yours.”

Caid’s head lifted and he regarded me with hooded eyes. My words surprised him. I knew they had. He let out a small growl and flipped us over. I reached around and unclasped my bra, pulling it from my arms. I held his hands in mine as they moved up my body and palmed my breasts. His thumbs swiped my nipples and I whimpered.

Every bit of me was in overdrive. I was a complete mess of desire and need. As I lifted back I held Caid’s thick erection in my hands. I circled the tip with my thumb, over the slit where it glistened from his excitement. I moved my body up while positioning him beneath me. Just as I started to Ever. So. Slowly lower myself down, I brought my thumb to my mouth. The thumb with his taste on it, and I sucked.

As I did, Caid growled loudly. “Fuck!” He said, leaning his head back and thrusting his hips up, impaling me. I let out a cry. A loud, glass-shattering cry. Not only had I forgotten how much I loved his touch, I missed the sweetly painful stretch and filling feeling that came with having him inside of me.

“Christ, you’re fucking beautiful. I love you, Emery. I love you…so much,” Caid said as he threaded his fingers into mine and slowly started to move beneath me. He was slow and gentle. This wasn’t a time for
fucking
. We were making love. All the while there was a tiny love that we made growing in my belly.

“I love you,” I whimpered as I fell to his chest. “Kiss me, please, Caid.” I pulled his face to mine as his hands gripped my behind holding me in place, forcing me to take each and every inch of him into me. “I’m going to come, I…I can’t hang on.”

“Come, love…for me, baby. I want to see you fucking me. I want to watch your perfect and beautiful face and body unravel over me. I’m the luckiest fucking man in the world,” Caid’s words threw me over the edge.

I cried and lifted my hands to my hair, leaning my face into my inner arm and I came. Hard, and
yes
…mind-altering, earth-shattering and blissfully beautiful.

“Look at me, baby…I want to see those eyes,” Caid commanded and I opened just as he thrust as deeply as he could and spilled within me. His eyes flared so wide and green and his mouth opened as he felt the ripples of his own orgasm. “
Jaysus
, your sweet pussy is sucking it all from me, baby.”

Jaysus
, I loved his dirty mouth.

***

Friday
, August 30 – 12:44 am

I laid in Caid’s bed as he left to get a damp washcloth for me. He told me he was going to take care of me. Clean me and draw a bath for us. I laid in the glow of the night, on his blankets that smelled of him, slowly trailing my fingertips over my abdomen.

When he returned he knelt on the bed. “Open those pretty legs, Em.” He smiled as I complied and spread for him. Whimpering as the warm cloth softly moved over my flesh, removing him from me. Tossing it into a laundry hamper near his dresser, Caid took my hand and pulled me into his arms.

“I’m going to take care of you for the rest of my life, Emery Finn. I love you. Will you let me?”

I nodded and kissed him gently on the corner of his mouth. “Don’t hurt
us
, Caid,” I whispered as I brought his hand to my stomach. It slowly moved along my skin.

His eyes widened and as his mouth opened, he licked his lower lip. “I will never hurt you or that perfect baby growing inside of you. I want to worship that body…the body that is carrying my baby.” He closed his mouth and cleared his throat as he was getting choked up.

I slipped beneath the hot water of the bath and Caid stepped in behind me. He pulled me into his body and wrapped his arms around me. He didn’t touch my breasts or between my legs at all while we were in the water. A big part of me wanted him to, I was ready for yet another round of the intensity that was making love to him. But, I simply laid there and let his fingers slide up and down my arms and over my belly again.

“Have you seen a doctor?” he asked while kissing under my ear.

I nodded. “I did. I’m six weeks.”

“What did he tell you, love?”

“He told me to get prenatal vitamins, which I did, then which diet would be best for me and the baby.”

Baby
.

I was going to have to get used to saying the word out loud. “I have another appointment in a few weeks for my first ultrasound.”

“Is the doctor in Belleville?” he asked, kissing me again.

“Yes,” I breathed, closing my eyes.

“If you want to, you can see my doctor. That way we don’t need to travel over eight hours for one appointment.” Caid entwined our fingers and held them at my waist. “That’s only if you want to, baby.”

“I want to,” I said. “What…what are we going to tell Caleb?”

I wanted to know what we were going to do about everything. Was I going to move in? What effect would that have on his son? I hadn’t spent much time with him, and I didn’t see him once in the month that I wasn’t speaking to Caid.

“Well,” Caid started, then he paused. “You won’t start showing for a while yet, so I think once Caleb returns we should start having you here every day. Getting him used to the idea of you being around here. Living here, with us.”

“I would like that.” I smiled at him as he dipped to plant a chaste kiss on my lips.

“Em,” he whispered. “What if the baby is a boy?”

His words pulled me from his embrace and I turned in the water, facing him. I held him, his cheeks in my hands. His stubble gently tickling my skin. I calmed my heart and opened my mouth. “Kincaid Burke…you are the man that I love. With all of my heart. I will love your son as if he were my own. And if this baby is a girl I will love and cherish her just as much as I would if she were a boy. I don’t care what we have, Caid. I will never hurt you, Caleb, or this baby.”

Caid’s eyes closed as he drew me into him. He didn’t say anything, but the thrum from his heart under my ear was enough to tell me he was okay.

As we laid in bed, I watched Caid fall into a peaceful sleep. His head was upon my chest and his breath blew long and warm gusts over my body. I ran my fingers with ease over the fire on his back, over and around each wisp until I hit its peak. My heart grew as I took him in. I swallowed the large lump in my throat, willing myself not to cry.