Authors: Katheryn Kiden
Tuesday
“You know you can’t keep running from him right? He’s here.” Jameson’s voice pulls my attention from the clipboard in front of me, reminding me that the one reason I haven’t slept in my own bed and have been so wrapped up in my head lately is here and I will more than likely run into him.
I force my voice over the sound of the band playing so he can hear me, “I’m not running and in a few days we’ll be back on tour and it won’t matter anymore.”
“Running,” he states flatly.
“You know what,” I say as I poke my finger into his chest, “you were the one that told me I shouldn’t have anything to do with him, remember? You were the one that told me he would do this and now you’re bitching because I’m doing what you said. You’re worse than a teenage girl that can’t make up her mind.”
“Please tell me you aren’t beating up my husband again,” I hear Abby joke from behind me and I spin, pinning her with a glare before stomping off.
All I have heard all week at the office from Abby is how I need to hear Evan out. How not everything is how it seems and how I might have overreacted. Well, I don’t care. I know what I saw. I saw Evan wrapped around some random girl, back to his old ways after I gave him every piece of me.
I should have known to keep everything to myself, at least then, when this happened, I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone else finding out my secrets.
“Waffle!” I hear being yelled out from behind me. Taking a deep breath I plaster on a smile and spin to see Jason, but my smile immediately disappears when I see who is with him.
The same girl that was wrapped around Evan the other day when I showed up is now walking around with her arm in the crook of Jason’s. She smiles warily at me as they get closer.
I shake my head and turn to walk off but Jason runs and jumps in front of me. I sigh, pushing my hair out of my face. “I’m not in the mood Jason and I have to get back and make sure Shaft and Ever After are ready to go out.”
“Tuesday, two seconds, please. I really want you to meet Addison,” his eyes plead with me.
Grinding my teeth together so hard my jaw hurts, I wrap my arms around my clipboard and hug it to my chest. At this point I’m ready to give up everything just to get away from this. I don’t want to meet the bitch that Evan ran to because my shit was too much to handle.
He waits until I nod and motions for her to join us. He pulls her into his side, his smile beaming brighter than I’ve ever seen, “Tuesday, this is Addison, my
cousin.
”
His words hit me like a freight train and I do my best to cover my reaction. The tilt in his head when he talks tells me he knows about what happened the other day and he wanted to introduce us because of it.
Damn it, I’m such a fuck up.
My heart races as I continue to think about how much I messed up. I didn’t believe Evan, I beat on him. How the hell could I just jump to conclusions like that?
My hand shoots out to meet hers. “I’m such an idiot,” I mutter. I know I am but I still can’t get it out of my mind that in a heartbeat Evan can decide to go back to his old ways and not want anything to do with me anymore. I have to keep reminding myself that this isn’t a situation that can lead to love. Nothing in my life can lead to love.
“So how many of y’all know my husband Jameson?” Abby’s voice fills the stadium and I have to double check the papers in front of me as people start screaming for him. They aren’t scheduled to go on yet and not knowing what is going on is going to make me panic. Before I know what’s happening, Jason is pulling me toward the stage with a knowing smirk.
“Stay,” he yells into my ear before grabbing my clipboard and shoving it to someone else, telling them to go check to make sure the next two bands are ready.
When Jameson walks out onto the stage everyone goes crazy. They scream so loud for him that I can barely hear myself think and when Abby starts to talk again I don’t even want to hear what is in my head anyway.
“Alright, so we all know you know who he is, but did you know he has a brother? Oh yes, ladies, there are two of them!”
Oh no, oh shit.
I try to turn and leave but Jason grabs me and pins me to his chest, telling me to stay still and just watch. I force myself to look across the stage where I see Evan walking out. My eyes drift over his black tee shirt where it stretches tightly across his chest and arms to his jeans that hug his hips and muscular thighs perfectly.
Something inside me aches when I realize how much I miss being with him, being held by those arms and touched by the hands that are caressing the neck of his guitar right now. Holding a pick between his lips, he adjusts his strap and steps up the microphone.
“How y’all doin’ tonight?” Evan growls into the mic. His voice wraps around me through the speakers and I’m pretty sure if Jason wasn’t holding me up I would drop to my knees. “So, I lost my girl the other day. She took something the wrong way, kneed me in the junk and ran off before I could explain and not seein’ her every day is drivin’ me insane. I know she’s around here somewhere so I’m gonna sing her a few songs. How’s that sound?” Screams erupt over the sound of him talking and all I want to do is tell them to shut up so I can listen to his voice. “Abby and Jameson are gonna help me out a bit tonight ‘cause I don’t usually do this and I want to give you a good show, so you get them twice tonight!”
Abby sits down at the piano, something she’s been doing a lot more of lately, and starts playing
Private Parts
by Halestorm. Her voice is sad as she starts singing, followed by Evan’s deep gravelly voice, while he and Jameson battle it out on guitar. Evan turns and stares at the exact spot I’m standing in, like he knows I’m here and I can’t move as I watch his fingers fly across the frets before they all die out and Jameson falls to the back of the stage and Abby gets up and leaves.
Jason’s arms drop from around me but before I can say anything I’m being pulled onto a stool next to Daisy and Cam. They both smile at me and turn their attention back to the stage. An arm drapes around my shoulders as Evan strums out the opening chords to
I’ll fight
by Daughtry and at this point it doesn’t bother me that someone is touching me because I am so wrapped up in what Evan is doing.
“You lied to me, Kitten,” Hunter says when he bends down to my ear.
“What do you mean?” I ask without taking my attention from Evan. I feel like if I stop watching, he’ll be gone for good but I know I can’t do this.
I’ll just stay till he’s done singing and then I’ll leave.
Hunter’s chest rumbles with laughter. “You told me you weren’t his girl, but here you sit, looking just like Daisy does when Gray plays with that sad sappy look all over your face. You can deny it all day, but you’d just be lying to yourself. That kinda shit doesn’t happen every day; you gotta keep it when you find it.”
I lean into Daisy and Cam and yell, “When did Hunter get deep?”
Cam laughs and I see her wink at him out of the corner of my eye. “It’s always been there. Who knew!”
“Bitches, I have a heart made of gold and a dick made of platinum. Can’t help it if the ladies just have expensive taste.”
I shake my head and focus completely on Evan as he finishes up the song. Before he starts off the stage I slide from my stool and backtrack to the dressing room as fast as I can. My hope to be alone for a minute is gone the second I walk through the door and see Jameson and Abby waiting for me.
I bypass them and fall into the chair in front of the mirror, letting my head drop into my hands and I stare at myself. I can see how damaged I am. I see the fear in my eyes, but now it’s not just fear of the people from my past, I’m afraid to lose the people in my life right now. I’m scared of losing Evan and I know I shouldn’t have let it get this far.
Evan
I walk off the stage and head to where I know she was going to be but find an empty stool and Jason shakes his head and points down the hall. I storm off in the direction he told me and throw the door to the dressing room open. It snaps back against the wall I see Tuesday’s body jump when it does but she doesn’t say anything.
I’m tired of her avoiding me, of her thinking I did something that I didn’t do. We’re going to talk whether she wants to or not. She got to kick me out last time and I let her but it isn’t happening again.
“Don’t even think about it,” I growl as she slides out of the chair and starts looking for a way around me. My chest rises and falls rapidly as I try to calm myself down. “I pour my fucking heart out up there and you still run away!”
“Calm the hell down or this isn’t going to happen, Evan,” Jameson says. For the first time since I threw the door open I realize that Tuesday isn’t the only person in here.
I take a deep breath and count to ten before closing the door and walking farther into the room. I stare at her and I hope she can see how hurt I am because of her.
“You don’t listen to me when I tell you that nothing happened with Addison. You don’t listen to me when I tell you nothing is going to change the way I feel about you. What the hell is it going to take to get you to believe that I don’t want anyone but you?”
I hadn’t even noticed that we were moving until her back hits the wall and I press against her. I can feel Jameson and Abby’s eyes on us and I want to yell and tell them to leave, but I don’t.
My voice drops and I’m almost to the point of begging. “Why can’t you see it, Tuesday? Everyone seems to but you. It doesn’t matter what’s happened in your past, or where you’re from. None of that matters, the past is the past. I don’t want you for that. I want you for your future, our future. I just want
you
.”
Her eyes widen and I can tell she’s trying to figure out if I’m just saying this shit so I can get back in her pants and I hate that I make her feel this way. The look in her eyes tells me she’s going to do anything she can to piss me off so she can keep her distance.
“I bet all the girls fall for that line, don’t they?”
I grab her hips and pull her towards me, “I have
never
said that to anyone before.”
She scoffs but before she has a chance to say anything Jameson clears his throat behind me and speaks up. “I’ve heard every line he’s used before, and I know I told you this was a bad idea when it first started, but I have never heard him tell a girl he wants any kind of a future with them.”
“Never?” she whispers and I shake my head. Without taking her eyes off of me she asks Abby and Jameson to leave and doesn’t speak again until the door closes behind them. “Please don’t do this Evan, I can’t handle losing you too.”
“You’re not going to. Did what I just do not tell you anything? Nothing happened with Addison! I could never hurt you like that!”
“I know, Jason straightened me out. I feel so stupid because of the way I reacted but it doesn’t matter. I will end up losing you and I can’t handle that. You don’t understand how badly my past can hurt us.”
My fingers slide over the side of her face and unlike last time, she doesn’t jump away. Instead, she leans her face into my palm and closes her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing hurts more than the distance you put between us. The shit from your past can’t hurt me more than not being with you has. I want you no matter what, for as long as I can have you.”
I grip the back of her neck and drop my lips to hers, sliding my tongue across her lips. She whimpers when my tongue slides along hers but she lets her body relax into mine. Lifting her, I carry her over to the counter without breaking apart and do everything to her that we’ve missed out on the past few days because of nonsense.
I know this isn’t the end of her being scared that something is going to happen, but I’m going to work like hell to prove to her that nothing matters to me except her.
Tuesday
“You guys are going to be out there right?” Vanessa’s voice wobbles as I finish up her hair.
When Abby slides up onto the counter and crosses her legs I lean down and still Vanessa’s shaking hands. It’s her first show that’s bigger than a school auditorium and it’s starting to show. I thought for a few minutes she was going to be sick but she hasn’t said anything to anyone about not being able to perform.