Fuzzy Logic (15 page)

Jan sighed. “No. I know you like weddings, but that one isn’t going to happen. Actually, we broke up.”

“Oh no! What happened?”

“Over time, he changed. I didn’t want to believe it, but I think I actually fell out of love with him. Or maybe I never really loved him in the first place. I’m not sure, but I don’t like who he is now.”

Her mother looked crestfallen and genuinely sympathetic. She put her hands over her heart. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. You need to redirect your energy to the future instead of focusing on what has gone by. As time passes, it’s too easy to accumulate more and more baggage. Believe me, I know! I’m so glad you are moving forward and focusing on your own new path and the lessons learned from the experience.”

Jan enjoyed a maternal hug for a moment and then said, “Thanks, Mom. I’m sad and I miss him, but I think it was time for us to call it off.” She looked toward the window and noticed a huge purple crystal hanging from the curtain rod. “Wait. Don’t change the subject on me! You really need to talk to Bruce. It’s not fair to him to just run away like this. If he loved you enough to marry you, he deserves more than a halfhearted try at talking. Talk about baggage. You and I both know you’ve run out on a lot of men. Maybe it’s time to give this marriage a real try. I flew all the way down here because I thought you were dying. If you think it would help, I can go with you when you talk to him.”

“Would you do that? There were words. Unkind words that I am not proud of saying. I thought of asking Zoe to come with me to try to smooth things over with Bruce, but she is not really up to doing much walking yet. I don’t want to tax her vitality.”

“I can go with you if you want. Why don’t you call him and set up a time to meet?”

“All right, darling. My horoscope says that I need to have courage. Perhaps this is what it meant. I must remind myself that anything is possible and I can create whatever I hope to achieve.”

Jan shrugged and passed the phone to her mother. “That sounds good, I guess.”

Jan stood with her mother in front of the row of beach cottages and marveled at how little the old neighborhood had changed in twenty years.

“Wow, Mom, it looks the same.”

“Yes, except now it’s extremely expensive to live here. It’s a shame I rented and couldn’t buy the place next door to Bruce’s where we lived. Bruce has owned his little house forever and it is now worth a fortune. But the time wasn’t right on my life journey.”

Jan touched her mother’s shoulder. “Are you ready?”

“Yes. Thank you for coming with me, dear. I’m trying to hold a vision of how I want things to be.”

Jan knocked and Bruce opened the door quickly. It was startling how large the man was. He had to be six-foot-five. Seeing him in normal clothes was odd after watching him cavort around commercials in the blue jumpsuit for so many years. He was actually a handsome man, trim and athletic with distinguished salt-and-pepper hair. Mom always went for the good-looking ones, so that wasn’t a huge surprise.

“Hi, um, Bruce. I know I didn’t get a chance to talk to you at the wedding, but I’m Jan. I lived next door a long time ago.”

Bruce grabbed her and wrapped her in a big bear hug. “Jan! I’ve heard so much about you! Come on in.” The Toilet King was just as exuberant in person as he was on TV.

Jan extricated herself from his grasp and walked through the doorway into the house, followed by her mother. The place had the exact same floor plan as the house they’d lived in next door. Slippery beach sand crunched under her heels. Maybe Bruce didn’t have a housekeeper. Or a vacuum cleaner. Or a broom. The house was filled with lived-in furniture that appeared to date from the late seventies. Bright orange and harvest gold permeated the decor. It was like stepping back in time.

Michael was sprawled out on an orange sofa in the living room, wearing shorts and a shredded t-shirt with a surfboard logo on it. He was flipping through a magazine. One leg was hooked over the wooden arm of the sofa and a plastic flip-flop dangled lazily from his foot. Swoosie the Samoyed was curled up next to him on the sofa, panting. Looking up from the magazine, he said, “Hey Jan. How’s it going?”

Jan’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t get away from this guy. “What are you doing here?” The surfer attire really showed off the well-defined muscles he had...everywhere. She tried not to stare. But wow. The half-naked version of the Marlboro man was even more impressive than the fully clothed edition.

Michael peered over the top of his magazine at her. “Isn’t your beloved step-brother allowed to visit his dad?”

Jan crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’m just surprised to see you, that’s all. You look like you’re about to go surfing.”

“No surfing today. Just running. Swoosie and I came up from my place in Del Mar to say hi to Dad and see how he’s doing.”

“Well my mother and Bruce need to talk,” Jan said as she turned to look at her mother. “Right, Mom?”

Bruce reached out his hand. “Angie, it’s good to see you again. I’ve missed you. And you look lovely today.”

Angie took his hand. “That is a reflection of my inner happiness at seeing you, too.”

“That sounds promising.” Bruce said, “Why don’t we go sit down and talk.”

Michael jumped up off the couch, followed by Swoosie. “Okay, it sounds like you have some stuff to work out. Jan, why don’t you come for a walk with me and Swoosie?”

“I’m not sure. I promised my mom I’d stay.” And ensure Mom didn’t make a break for it. Again.

Her mother turned from Bruce to look at her. “It’s fine, Jan. I wish life were more certain, but I’m putting my faith in my higher power that all of this will work out. You and Michael can go. Enjoy the power of the sea and embrace the healing miracle of nature.”

Michael gave Jan a questioning look. “I think it’s okay, then.”

“I guess,” Jan said shrugging her shoulders.

“Cool. I need to get Swoosie’s leash. Then we can go embrace some nature.”

Michael attached Swoosie’s leash to a harness and waved back at Bruce and Angie, who were now deep in conversation. “We’re leaving now. Good luck!”

Jan followed Michael and his dog out the door. After he shut the door behind them, she said, “I’m not sure about this. My mom was really worried about talking to him. I guess they had a big fight or something.”

“Hey, they’re grown-ups, right? They can figure it out.”

“I think your dad may be more of a grown-up than my mom.”

Michael smiled and glanced over at her. “I won’t argue with that.”

“You probably already know this, but Bruce is husband number seven. Well, I think it’s seven. Maybe it’s six. I keep forgetting.”

“You? Forget? I thought your brain was chock full of facts like that.”

Jan scowled. “Ha. Ha. You’re terribly funny.”

Michael stopped as Swoosie started walking back and forth across a particularly special piece of grass. “Oops, looks like the poop dance is about to happen.”

“The poop dance? Only you would have a name for this activity.”

“It’s good to know when the poop dance is going to happen. You don’t want to be caught unaware. Swoosie has a particular way of stopping and circling. And then there’s this happy serene look she gets, so you know it’s not just another boring sniff fest. She means it.”

“You spend a lot of time walking your dog, don’t you?”

“I have to clean up after her, so it’s good to know when to be at the ready. And yes, here it is, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: poop tail! A Samoyed’s tail flips backwards when the dog is doing the deed.”

Jan shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation. Shouldn’t we be talking about our parents? That’s more important.” Although by now, her mother had probably fled the scene.

Michael yanked a plastic bag out of a pocket in his shorts and bent down to clean up. He looked over at Jan. “Well, this is important to Swoosie. It’s a big moment in her day.”

“You’re making me glad I live in a place where I don’t have to get quite so up-close-and-personal with my dog’s excrement. I just let Rosa out and she does her thing.” Of course, that was also why Rosa was starting to resemble a hairy beach ball.

“Don’t you ever take her for walks?”

“Well, sometimes. There are acres upon acres of forest where we can walk. My feeling is that if the wildlife can go there, so can Rosa.”

Michael dropped the bag into a garbage can. “Here no one likes it when dog owners turn a beach neighborhood or the beach itself into a giant litter box. I always imagine some little kid joyfully playing in the sand. He finds a fantastic new toy and runs up to the beach blanket, clutching his exciting brown discovery. He proudly shows it to his mom, but she screams and tells him to put it down. Mayhem ensues. They pack up their coolers and vow never to return to Litter Box Beach ever again. It’s all just nasty. Not to mention bad for tourism.”

Jan studied his profile as they walked. “You have quite a vivid imagination. I thought dogs weren’t allowed on the beach.”

“They’re allowed on a couple of them like Dog Beach, which isn’t too far from my place. And in some cases, people just ignore the ‘no dogs’ signs, particularly in the winter.”

“I think I’ll watch my step the next time I go to the beach.” Jan looked down at the ground, surveying the general area just in case.

Michael grinned. “Now I’ve freaked you out. It’s like the movie with the Baby Ruth in the pool...DOODIE!”

She looked back at him. “That was
Caddyshack
with Chevy Chase and Bill Murray. It was directed by Harold Ramis and filmed in late 1979. The Doodie scene was actually based on a real event.”

“I know you’re a librarian, but how do you remember all these things? I have trouble remembering where I left my sunglasses.”

“I’m not sure,” Jan said. “It’s just the way my mind works. Steve used to say my brain was filled with UBI.”

“UBI?”

“Useless Bits of Information. He said it drove him nuts. That I was trying to card-catalog the world.”

Michael narrowed his eyes. “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think? If you ever want a career in advertising, let me know. You’re like a one-woman research department.”

“I’m afraid you have made the world of advertising sound unpleasant.” Jan shook her head. “No thanks. Your description of the stress and deadlines makes it seem like a horrible way to earn a living. I’ll stick with the library. At least it’s quiet. No temperamental actors or yelling bosses.”

“I suppose that was not one of my best days.”

“You certainly look a lot more relaxed today. I almost didn’t recognize you dressed like a surfer.”

Michael surveyed her attire. “You may want to dress down a little while you’re here. Aren’t you hot? You look a little flushed. And those shoes have to be painful.”

Jan
was
feeling a little overheated. Perhaps the suit and heels hadn’t been an ideal choice. “I thought I’d be sitting around in a cottage mediating my mother’s marriage, not walking through the old neighborhood with you.”

“Let’s find a place to sit down and get something to drink. If you get heat stroke, your mother will kill me.”

“Maybe. But these days she’d do it in a very heart-centered and loving way.”

Michael laughed. “Hey, I don’t want any bad karma. Let’s stick to good vibrations. Gotta keep those lovin’ ones happening.”

“Are you referencing the Beach Boys song?”

“I suppose you know when it was released?”

Jan smiled. “October of 1966, actually. It was composed by Brian Wilson and the lyrics are by Mike Love.”

Jan waited on the outside patio with Swoosie while Michael got some drinks. The little cafe had a row of festive green umbrellas out front and Jan settled into her chair, relieved to have some shade. Opting for a more casual wardrobe would have some advantages. Maybe she should head to the mall this afternoon.

Michael returned with two tall glasses of iced tea. “Here you go.”

“Thanks. By the way, what did you do to your dog? She’s being really good, just lying here like a model canine citizen. I can’t believe this is the same animal that terrorized the wedding.”

“It’s all those walks. Or runs, really. Most weekends when I don’t have to work, Swoosie and I jog from my place in Del Mar up here. It’s about six or eight miles. We do it in the morning before it gets hot. I like to check in on my dad and we usually have breakfast together. All that exercise is good for Swoosie and Dad loves her.”