Fuzzy Logic (29 page)

As the car pulled up to Bruce’s house, Jan flashed back to the sand-infused green carpet sitting on the front lawn. The great cleaning adventure seemed like a long time ago.

They walked up to the front door and stood on the doorstep. She smiled at Michael, “This could be interesting.”

He took her hand in his. “I have no doubt about that.”

The door opened and Jan’s mother Angie opened her arms wide to welcome them into the house. She was wearing a rainbow-colored diaphanous caftan with huge sleeves that swirled around her. “Come in, come in!” She whirled back into the room and then stopped and appraised Michael’s appearance. “Your aura seems cloudy and congested. Something is wrong.” She turned to Jan. “Is this related to what we discussed? Is there a problem? I have some crystals that might help, you know.”

Jan’s eyes widened. “No, Mom.
No!
Michael has just been working a lot.”

“I’m fine,” Michael said. “Just tired, that’s all.”

Angie looked unconvinced and put her arm around Jan’s shoulder. “I have to go do some things in the kitchen. Have a lovely time, dear. I’ll talk to you later.”

Michael bent down and whispered to Jan, “Your mom is dressing like Stevie Nicks.”

Jan tried to ignore the shiver of excitement that ran through her as his warm breath hit her ear. “My mother went through a big Fleetwood Mac phase. Maybe she found that outfit again when she moved.”

They walked into the room, which was strewn with crystals and shimmering rainbow ribbon everywhere. Many people were milling around. Once again, Jan knew hardly anyone; it was like the wedding all over again. Except with fewer flowers and more of a floaty, colorful motif.

Michael looked around. “Wow, this is different. The floors look really good. Somebody waxed them or something. I think your mom must have convinced my dad to get rid of some of the most disgusting furniture, too. I’m going to miss that ugly orange couch. So will Swoosie.”

“Your dog is a sofa connoisseur. Speaking of which, I had a nice walk with her the other day. She was really good and so sweet with a little girl we met who wanted to pet her.”

“I told you little girls love her. She isn’t always a bad dog, you know. Do you want something to drink?”

“That might help. And you’re driving. How about something with a lot of vodka, if they have it. Mom tends to embrace the idea of an open bar.”

“Okay. I’ll investigate.” He put his hand on her arm and looked into her eyes. “I’ll be right back.”

She watched him stride toward the bar, his long legs covering the distance quickly. Staying away from him tonight was going to be challenging. One more evening. That’s it. Retain common sense. Stay the course. She needed to rein in her hormones for a change, so she could get out of here with her heart still (mostly) intact.

Angie stood up on a dining room table chair and tapped a spoon on her glass. “May I have your attention, everyone?”

A server put his tray down on the table next to Jan and stood back against the wall, so he could attend to a wayward contact lens. The poor guy probably got sand in his eye. The tray was covered with colorful shot glasses. Surveying the rainbow-hued beverages, Jan took a pink one and peered down into it. Jell-O shots? Really? She slurped it down in one big gulp. Yum.

The chatter in the room settled down a little and Jan noticed Michael was standing near the kitchen at the other side of the living room, holding two large hurricane glasses full of fuchsia-colored liquid. He put them down on the sideboard and looked up at Angie.

“Thank you all for coming to our celebration.” She pointed at Bruce, who was standing near a window looking like he might want to jump out of it. “Many of you were at our wedding, so I wanted you to be here to celebrate a new phase of our relationship. After exploring our friendship and love for each other, we have found that Bruce has been holding back in an important area of his life because of fear. It is important to face our fear and free ourselves from the chains that bind us. So we want to celebrate turning over a new leaf.” She waved toward Bruce. “Come here, darling.”

Bruce walked over to the chair and held Angie’s hand. He cleared his throat. “Okay, well, here’s the thing. I’ve been avoiding something and Angie here has helped me see that it’s time to be honest. With myself and all of you. We’re going to get a divorce.”

Several people in the room gasped and urgent, hushed whispers flitted around in the space like butterflies. Jan looked over again at Michael, who was standing with his hands clasped behind him, almost in a military stand-at-ease posture, watching his father.

Bruce waved at the crowd. “It’s not because I don’t love Angie. Because I do. She’s a wonderful lady. But I need to be true to myself. I’m, well, here’s the thing. I’m gay. And I’ll probably be spending more time with Dave.” He pointed at his friend, who raised his hand and waved slightly from his position in the corner of the room.

Michael smiled at Jan and their gazes locked. He silently mouthed the words, “Told you so.”

Jan looked away quickly, embarrassed that she’d been staring at him, instead of paying attention to the announcement. She grabbed another shot glass from the tray and cradled it in her hands.

Bruce looked uncomfortable for a second and then Angie spoke again. “Thank you all again for being here and helping Bruce release some of the past pain he has been dealing with for many years. Please don’t worry. We have discussed the importance of safe sex and HIV testing. This is not the stigma it once was. It is love and we all must embrace love in all its forms.”

Jan glanced quickly at Michael. An extremely well-endowed server with large curls of auburn hair was whispering something in his ear. Jan looked down and shook the chartreuse contents in her glass. No lime in nature was truly that color. She tipped the glass back and sucked it down. Tasty. After replacing the glass on the tray, she focused again on Angie, who had raised her glass for a toast. Oops. Now, she needed another glass. The server was moving to pick up the tray. Maybe a red one this time.

“I hope you all consider what you want from life and rid yourself of negative energy as Bruce has. Be true to yourselves. We love you all.” Angie stepped down from the chair and the room erupted in conversation. Many people went up to the couple to talk to them. Jan slurped her cherry Jell-O thoughtfully, then put the glass aside.

Michael maneuvered his way through the crowd toward Jan with the drinks. She took the frothy-looking fruity beverage from him. “I hope this has a lot of vodka in it.”

“I had a feeling this was coming, so I asked the bartender to pour it a little heavy.”

Jan took a long drink, “Whoa. I hope you gave him a big tip.” She looked up into Michael’s dark brown eyes. “I know you told me about your dad, so this whole announcement thing is not completely unexpected, but it’s still a little weird for me. Are you okay with all this?”

“It’s great. I just want my dad to be happy. I mean, look at him. He looks like a giant weight has been lifted from his shoulders. And he’s hanging out with Dave without having to pretend to do guy things like play poker. I’ve known Dave was gay for years.”

Jan gulped her drink. “That guy from the Olympics just came out, too. Maybe it’s the thing to do. I can’t imagine keeping a secret like that for so many years. I guess I can’t blame my mom for
this
divorce, anyway. And it sounds like she was helpful, for a change. Some of the past breakups have been pretty bad. But this was actually...nice. Really nice.”

She clutched her drink in both hands and poured some more fruity beverage down her throat. Looking into Michael’s eyes, she said, “It was all so sweet. The part about love in all its forms. And being true to yourself. That was really extraordinary. Particularly for my mom. I mean, if you knew her years ago, you’d be surprised. Or maybe not. I don’t know.” Jan held the empty glass up in front of her face and tipped it back, trying to extract the last drops from the bottom. “That was really good.”

Michael sat in the chair next to her and leaned toward her, taking the glass and putting it on the side table. “You drank that pretty quickly.”

“It was kind of like a Slurpee, ‘cept at the end. That part tasted like vodka. Does vodka sink? I haven’t had a Slurpee in a long time. There aren’t any 7-11s in Alpine Grove.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

Jan looked down at the floor. The pattern on the Oriental rug seemed a little fuzzy. And maybe like it might be moving. Standing up would be a bad idea. Maybe she’d just sit here for a few minutes until the dizziness went away. She turned and looked at Michael again. “I think I have negative energy too. Why do I have negative energy? I think my chakras aren’t flowing right. My chakras are broken.”

Michael smiled. “In my experience, your sacral chakra is doing just fine. I don’t know much about the other ones, but they’re probably okay, too.”

Jan pushed his shoulder. “That’s all you think about, isn’t it? You’re such a guy. I’m having a serious, um. Well. It’s serious. I’m having a life crisis. Yes, that’s what it is. It’s an existential crisis. That’s what I’m having.”

“Okay. I’m not sure what you mean, but...”

Jan leaned back in the chair to get a better look at Michael. “Wow. What happened to your hair? It looks like your dad’s. Well, except not purple.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“You look different. Wait. Why do you look like your dad all of a sudden? Whoa. That’s wild. It’s like you got old. Actually, no. It’s icky. Yuck. It’s like I was sleeping with the same guy my mom was. Wow, that’s so gross. Ewww.”

Michael furrowed his brows. “You don’t drink much, do you?”

“I never drink. Ever. I’m a teeeeeetotaler. My mother says I’m too rigid and I never have any fun.” Jan bowed her head and stared at her hands in her lap. “I’m boring.”

“You’re not boring. But I think maybe I should take you home.”

Jan leaned her head on his shoulder. “I miss Rosa.”

Michael helped her stand up. “Okay, let’s go.”

Jan opened her eyes. She was lying in a bed in a darkened room. Somewhere. Where was she? After a bit of experimentation, she determined that if she moved her head, searing pain shot through her skull like a grenade. She tried to lie as still as possible and stared at the ceiling. What happened? What was she wearing? She padded her hands around her body gingerly. It seemed to be a soft cotton t-shirt. Wherever she was, there had better be a bathroom nearby. Her bladder was not going to take no for an answer much longer. She heard breathing nearby and carefully reached out an arm and determined she was not alone in the bed. Uh-oh.

She turned her head and cringed at the pain, along with a new and horribly unpleasant nauseous twirling in her stomach. What had she done to herself?

Trying to move very slowly and carefully, she crawled out of the bed and across the floor toward the bathroom. Given that Michael was the one asleep next to her, at least she knew where the bathroom was in his house. And it was mercifully close to the bedroom.

After giving her poor long-suffering bladder a break, Jan was pretty sure she might throw up if she moved again. Returning to the bed was not an option. It was way too far away. But the tile floor was nice and cool. Pretty tile. Nice tile. Very nice.

A few hours later, Jan opened her eyes and found Michael looking down at her. He crouched down and said, “Wow. This isn’t a pretty picture. Are you alive?”

Jan rolled over on the tile. “Sort of.”

“You might be more comfortable in the bed.”

Jan groaned, “Can’t. Get. There.”

Michael scooped her up, carefully laid her in the bed, and pulled the covers over her. “Are you going to be okay here for a few minutes?”

Jan groaned and pulled the covers over her head. “Go away.”

Much later, the bed moved and she peeked out of her sheet cave. Sun was streaming in the window and Michael was sitting on the edge of the bed. Southern California sun was bright. Ow. And it tasted like something had died in her mouth. She ran her tongue across her teeth. Gross.

Michael touched her shoulder. “Are you going to live?

A few feeble neurons fired. What day was it? Wednesday? A work day. She pushed the sheet down to her chin. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here.”

“I know that. Could you close the shade? That light is awful.”

Michael stood up, closed the curtains, and returned to the bed. He stroked her hair, pushing it back from her forehead. “Can I get you anything?”

The idea of food made her stomach do a few creative acrobatics. “No. Please no. I don’t think I’m ever going to eat again. Ever. And definitely not drink.”

Michael smiled. “Yes, you give the term lightweight new meaning. Have you ever had alcohol before at all?”

Jan rolled over. “Yes. But it tends to make me sick.”

“So I noticed.”

“You didn’t answer me. What are you doing here?”

“Yes, I did. I live here, remember?” Swoosie trotted up to the bed, sniffed at Jan, and wrinkled her brow. “Swoosie says hi and I’m pretty sure she thinks you smell bad.”

“Thanks. I feel the same way about you too, dog. And no, I mean why aren’t you at work?”