Gazelle (13 page)

              Julian rolls his eyes with disgust. "I don't care. I know what yo
u’
re saying, and I appreciate it.  But I do
n’
t want a relationship right now. 
I’
m not-I do
n’
t have any room to even consider it, Mike
.
”
“
I know.  I know.  And after the last time, I do
n’
t want that, either.  We ca
n’
t afford another set back if something goes wrong again.  Not now
.
”

              Julian rubs his face with a towel, hiding his grimace at the sting of the implication.
 “
Then, what?  What do I do
?
”
“
Well, see!  Look, here, progress.  I like when we compromise, it feels like we're growing as human beings, it really does.  I
t’
s strictly business, understand, what
I’
m proposing.  Ther
e’
s a young lady, you might have heard of her, Sharleen Dors
?
”

“
Sharleen Dors.  Yo
u’
re fucking kidding, right
?
”
“
No, why, you know her
?
”
“
Yeah, I know her.  She was in that piece of shit vampire movie.  Sh
e’
s your client, too, right?  I ca
n’
t-you know, I ca
n’
t fucking believe you
!
”
“
What?
!
”
“
You want me to get
a‘
beard
!
’
 
Really?
!
”

“
No!  Come on, Julian!  Tha
t’
s not at all what
I’
m saying
!
”
“
Then what, huh?  What
exactly
are you saying
?
”

“I’
m
saying
that you and she spend some time together, in public, get to know one another as friends, you know?  You have a lot in common
.
”

              Julian laughs and shakes his head as he rubs the towel over his arms and legs.
 “
Yeah, I bet
.
”
“
Julian, no, listento me.  This is normal!  We do it all the time!  Sh
e’
s a sweet kid.  Sh
e’
s driven, focused and does
n’
t have time, just like you.  Yo
u’
d be helping each other, professionally.  And sh
e’
s coming up.  Both of you, together, could be the nex
t
…”

“
Do
n’
t say it, please
-
”

“
‘
Brangelin
a…
sans village of kids
.
”

              Julian says nothing, his hands on his hips, staring out over the small patio extending from the rec room.  There are bright red and blue pots everywhere, overflowing with jade plants and cacti.  In the middle are a lawn chair and a small table; stacked with books marked with specific articles he needs to read.  The light spills in soft vanilla waves over the scene, drawing him to the chair and the books, where he would read until he dozed, and doze until she made him the next horrendous meal he would pretend to enjoy, laughing while she told another silly story or a joke or anything to make his heart come to love the gruel he was being fed.  He suddenly feels the weight of his exhaustion and lack of sustenance. 

“I’
m sorry
I’
m late
,
” Alice says, rushing in. 

              Julian manages a weak, grateful smile as she hands him the smoothie.  He looks exhausted and pale, she thinks, before turning her attention to Michael.  His face has contorted to a condescending scowl he has acquired especially for the clownish woman his client insists on employing.

“
Did you get lost again
?
” Michael asks.
 “
Well,
I’
m sure i
t’
s fine. We all understand how a health store you use to work at is hard for you to find. H
e’
s only been at it for four hours without eating a fucking thing, a few more would
n’
t kill him
.
”

“
Knock it off, Mike
,
” Julian sighs, squeezing her shoulder as he moves towards the ab ball and plops himself down, sucking on the straw like a baby bottle.

“
I got caught in traffic.  There was an accident
,
” Alice mumbles, fumbling with her phone.

“
Speaking of accidents, is that a new outfit?  Very urban.  Who says you ca
n’
t wear sneakers after high school, right
?
” Michael smiles.

              Alice raises her gaze to him, narrowing her wide eyes.  She smiles politely to hide her own contempt but they both understand, in this area of ruthless, glib attacks, he is the expert.  Still, she cannot resist the attempt.

“
’
Urba
n’
, huh?  Is that your way of sayin
g‘
not white
?
’”

“
Tha
t’
s my way of sayin
g‘
not ric
h’
.  A small difference for you, I know, but significant, and comforting to me, nonetheless.  Julian, darling, I got to get.  But, hey, one last thing.  This charity event, you know, i
t’
s a funny coincidence, really, but Dors
will
be there
!
”

“
That
is
a funny coincidence
!
” Julian laughs sarcastically.

“
I will be sure to tell her to sa
y‘
hi
.
’
 
Good luck, try to have some fun
.
”

              He charges from the room, his phone immediately pressed to his ear.  Alice glares after him before moving slowly towards Julian, who leans on his knees, staring at the floor.  She tucks her hair behind her ear and squats next to him, her own knees cracking as she does.

“
The cartilage is deteriorating in your knee joints
,
” he whispers distantly, the straw dangling from his mouth as he sucks absently at the empty cup.

“
Years of hard labor in a grocery store will do that
,
” she says, taking the empty cup and handing him the GQ.

              He stares down into his own face, scowling handsomely back up at him.

“
Mr. Russell
,
” she says, in a creepy, nasal voice
,“
can I get your autograp
h…
and your babies in my bellies
?
”

              He snorts and reads the headline out loud in a deep, threatening voice
.“
Julian Russell: Tough Never Looked So Sensitiv
e
…”

“
Was that what you were going for
?
” 

“
I guess. 
I’
m not sure.  There was a lot of shoutin
g…
I was a little stoned
.
”
“
You were
?
”
“
Yeah.  I ate that mint you gave me
.
”
“
Wow, really?  Th
e‘
gang
a
’ mint?  I never thought you would
.
”
“
It was an accident.  I thought it was just a mint.  I realized about a quarter through the shoot I was pretty high.  You see that scowl?  I
t’
s me trying to figure out where the hell the voices shouting at me were coming from.  All I could see were the bright lights, calling my name
.
”

              She laughs and stands up, extending her hand to help him.  He slowly rises, his entire body aching as he groans and arches his back.
 “
Fuc
k…
m
e
…”

“
You need a massage
.
”
“
Yeah.  Maybe after the ride along
.
”
“
You have to be at the airport by 6
.
”

              He moves very slowly towards the connecting bathroom.  She grabs his arm and wraps it around her neck and he leans against her. 

“I’
m all sweaty
,
” he says.

“
Hazards of the job. 
I’
m more concerned with how heavy you are.  You really bulked up
,
” she grumbles.

“
In a sexy way, right?  I
t’
s sexy
?
”
“I’
m more of a beer gut and pork butt kind of girl, myself, but yeah, sure, why not
?
”

“
Yeah, well,
I’
m going for a more realistic physique.  Most cops are super ripped these days, are
n’
t they? After all, this is the new era of police enforcement.  No donuts and cheeseburgers her
e…
god, that sounds so good
.
”

“I’
m making you a lentil soup with egg whites.  I
t’
ll be done by the time yo
u’
re out of the shower
.
”

“
Instant lentil soup
?
” he asks apprehensively.
“
No, no.  I made it last night,
I’
m warming it up
.
”
“
Aw, you cooked for me on your day off
?
”
“
No, I cooked for
me
on my day off.  These are the left-overs
.
”
“
Wha
t’
d you d
o…
ow, fuc
k…
yesterday
?
”
“
I went to the movies with a friend, and then spent the rest of the day and night painting
.
”

“
Wha
t’
d you see
?
”
“
We went to see an indy.
 ‘
The Rape Fields
.
’”

“
Oh, yeah, I heard that was good.  Very dark.  How was it
?
”
“
Hilarious
.
”

              He chuckles and moves into the bathroom, leaning a moment on the door, looking down at her.  She smiles back at him.
 “
Wha
t‘
frien
d
’ did you go with
?
”

              She looks away coyly and swats his stomach.
 “
Take a shower, stink-fest
.
”

              They drive to LAX in relative silence.  The radio is set to the BBC, and a man with a thick, English accent drones about the war in Libya.  Julian leans his head on his fist as he watches the cars speed by.  He wears a dark sweater beneath a leather coat and his Yankees hat curled over his eyes.  She glances at him a few times before clearing her throat.

“
Wha
t’
s going on, Julie?  Are you alright
?
”

“
Yea
h…
just thinking
.
”
“
About
?
”