Gazelle (14 page)

“
Mike wants to hook me up with Sharleen Dors
.
”
“
Sharleen Dors?  Really
?
”
“
Yeah, wh
y…
no good
?
”
“
No!  I mean, yeah!  Sh
e’
s beautiful
.
”
“
Yea
h…
it would
n’
t be real, though.  I
t’
s
a‘
beard
.
’”
“
What do you mean, like, bear
d…
ga
y‘
beard
?
’
 
But yo
u’
re not gay
.
”
“
Yeah, I know.  I
t’s…
they want me to appea
r‘
romantic
.
’
 
Apparently, i
t’
s detrimental to my career
.
”
“
O
h…
s
o…
do you want to do it
?
”
              Julian switches the station to CSPAN and turns the volume low. The sound of constant talking has become soothing to him.  He ca
n’
t remember the last time he actually listened to music.
 “
Hey, you think you and CeCecould furnish my house?  Nothing fancy, very sparse and clean.  Just some chairs and couches and shit.  Maybe a few beds in the guest rooms.  I think I might have my family visit for Christmas
.
”
“
Of course, no problem. 
I’
ll get on it as soon as I get home.  W
e’
ll hit up Ikea, me and CeCe, together
.
”

              He frowns at her.  She smiles and hits him.
 “
Kidding!  W
e’
ll hire a decorator.  Can you even imagine CeCein an Ike
a’
s?  I think her head would explode with the shame
.
”

“
Sh
e’
s definitely got standards.  She once told me tha
t‘
if it was
n’
t quality, it did
n’
t qualify
.
’
 
I mean, wha
t’
s that even mean?
 ‘
Qualif
y
’ for what, the Indy 500? The summer Olympics
?
”
“
Sh
e’
s a classy bitch, tha
t’
s for sure
,
” Alice laughs.

“
…
Do you not like her
?
”
“
No, I like her.  She scares the shit out of me, but I like her
.
”
“
Really
?
” he laughs.
 “I’
ve never seen CeCeas scary
.
”
“
Yo
u’
ve never had to get he
r‘
lis
t
’ done.  That woman has longer lists than Schindler.  I think she stays up at night with a tablet and a chamomile, struggling to come up with impossible shit tha
t’
ll drive me insane trying to find
.
”

              He chuckles in a high-pitche
d‘
ho
o
’ he picked up from Alice. 

“
You did
n’
t answer me, you know
.
”
“
About
?
”
“
Do you want to make Dorsyou
r‘
bear
d’?
”

“
Ah, oh, god, I do
n’t…
uh, I do
n’
t know.  It seems..
.
”
“
Desperate
?
”
“
Yes!  Pathetic, kinda, even
.
”
“
Like internet dating
.
”
“
Exactly!  Nailed it
.
”
“
You know, I met Anthony on the internet
.
”
“
Really?...I ca
n’
t imagine Anthony using a computer.  I
t’
d be like a gorilla trying to drive a car.  A really tiny car, like, one of those Smart cars only divorcees and spinsters drive
.
”
“
Yea
h…
his cousin posted his ad and helped him.  I-
I’
m not really all that social
-
”

“
Really? I had
n’
t noticed
,
” he smirks sarcastically.

              She shoots him a dirty look.
 “
Anyways!  I decided to give it a shot.  I figured like, what was the worst, right?   We were together for a year and a half s
o…
I guess it worked
.
”
“
You saying I should try dating online
?
”
              She laughs sharply and quickly covers her mouth.  He chuckles and watches her out of the corner of his eye.

“
Can you imagine
?
” she asks.
 “
That would be a total lotto win.  Yo
u’
d show up to the restaurant with a red rose in your pocket and Birth
a’
dshit herself on the spot, I promise
.
”

“
Really?  Just, like
-‘
Hi,
I’
m Julia
n’
, and sh
e’
d
,
” he makes a raspberry and gestures wildly
,“
all down her new floral print dress
?
”

“
Right into her tight pumps, all over the pump fat
.
”

“
Yeah, tha
t’
s the effect I have on women, in general, I think. I got ma
d‘
diarrhe
a
’ game
.
”

              They pull through to the passenger drop off.  She pops the trunk and parks the car, starting to get out.

“
No, you do
n’
t need to help me
,
” he sighs.
 “
I got it from here
.
”

              He looks to the curb and nods his head to two men standing at the door and they move towards the car.

“
So, yo
u’
d do it?  If you were me
?
” he asks.
“
Internet date
?
”
“
Yeah
.
”
“
I do
n’
t see why not.  What could it hurt, really?  At least meet her, see what sh
e’
s like. I mean, you can never have too many friends, right
?
”
“
Tha
t’
s very tru
e…
did you have any bad internetdates?  Before Anthony
?
”
              She laughs and studies the men that stand at the door, waiting for him, looking awkward and ominous simultaneously, wondering how she would feel having people wait for her in such a way.
 “
Tha
t’
s not the story you need to have on your brains, right now
.
”
“
Oooo
!
” he laughs.
 “
I definitely want to hear this!  Sounds ultra incriminating
.
”
“
Get out of here
.
”

“C’
mon
!
”
“
No way.  Not gonnahappen
.
”
“
Fine.  But you will tell me when I get back.  And
I’
m writing you up for not telling  mesooner.  Consider this a written warning
.
”
“
Jesus, yo
u’
re a total ballbuster.  I did
n’
t realize full personal disclosure of my intimate life was part of the job
.
”
“
It is, very much so, yes
.
”

“I’
m calling my union rep as soon as I get home
.
”
“
Go ahead, but i
t’
s in your contract, I promise.  No skeevy, deep dark secrets, I have to know every embarrassing detail of your life.   I need to know I can trust the person picking up my dry cleaning.  Make a list of things you neglected to tell me and have it ready by the time I get back.  Have CeCehelp you out
.
”

“
Haha, yo
u’
re so funny, creep
,
” she says drily as he climbs out of the car, laughing.

              She leans back in her seat and looks to the security again.  Julian steps out and shakes their hand while an attendant unloads his carry-on.  He leans back in the car and grabs his backpack, hesitating as he studies her smile.  He comes around to the drive
r’
s side and opens her door.

“
On second thought, I do need your help
,
” he says.

              She steps out and he grabs her, hugging her tightly.   She can feel his heart racing through his sweater and coat, his hard chest crushing against her, and she remembers the pills, disappointed she had not previously realized he was terrified of flying. She slips the Valium in his pocket and pats it to let him know it is there before wrapping her arms around him and squeezing.

“
Yo
u’
ll be back Thursday night
?
”

“
Yeah, late. 
I’
ll get a driver, do
n’
t worry about it
,
” he mumbles into her hair.

“
Try to have fun, please.  And give that Dorsgirl a shot.  Sh
e’
s no slouch
.
”

“
Sh
e’
s no Birtha, either
,
” he sighs, grabbing either sides of her head and kissing it dramatically before moving in front of the two security guards and the attendant.

              He stares out the window of his Brooklyn apartment, studying the buildings and traffic that moves through the landscape like a writhing snake of lights and noise.  His tie hangs loose around his crisp, expensive shirt.  His slacks rest on his hips and hug him snuggly down his wide thighs.  He shifts his focus to his own image reflected in the window and scrutinizes his appearance.  A memory of walking through the mall with his brother runs through him.  They stopped at a kiosk of posters
,‘
magic poster
s
’ of geometric shapes and vibrant colors.
 ‘
Stare at it and cross your eyes and yo
u’
ll see what it really is
,
’ James said, staring up in complete fascination at the picture.  He crossed his eyes and struggles to see it as well.
 ‘
Ah, cool!  Do you see it yet
?
’
 
He tried harder, feeling slightly nauseous at the effort.  They stood for so long but no matter what he tried, he was unable to see the leaping dolphin his brother swore was there. 

              He sighs and hit
s‘
dial
.
’ 

“
Hello, Julian
.
”
“
Hi, James.  Ho
w’
s it going
?
”
“
Good, you
?
”
“
Good.  Mike said you were trying to reach me
?
”
“
Yes, mom and I both.  Yo
u’
ve been busy
?
”
“
Very.  Everything alright
?
”
“
It is.  We were calling to confirm holiday plans.  Are you going to be joining us this year?  Thanksgiving at mo
m’
s?  Uncle Marty and Aunt Christina will be there
.
”
“
A
w…
that sounds nice.  But I ca
n’
t, not Thanksgiving
.
”
              There is a long pause.  Julian squeezes his eyes shut and detaches from the implicative silence. 
“
Tha
t’
s too bad.  Mom was looking forward to seeing you there.  I
t’
s been a long time.  Sh
e’
s a bit worried
.
”
“I’
ll call her when I get back
.
”
“
Get back?  Where are you
?
”
              Fuck! He sighs at his stupid slip.
 “I’
m in New York.  Ther
e’
s a fundraising event
I’
m speaking at
.
”
“
O
h…
really?  For how long
?
”
“
Just tonight.  I fly back tomorrow
.
”
“
Tha
t’
s a shame.  It really is.  We coul
d’
ve had lunch or something if you were going to be there longer
.
”
“
Well, listen
,
” he says, running his free hand tersely through his hair
,“
I know i
t’
s short notice but I was wondering if maybe you and the family would like to spend Christmas in L.A. at my place
.
”
“
Your place
?
”
“
Yeah.  I bought a house.  I
t’
s decent, plenty of room for you all. 
I’
d love if you could come
.
”
“
…
Maybe.  Yeah,
I’
ll, uh, talk to mom and Sarah and see if that works.  We have
n’
t been out there in awhile.  It might be good
.
”
“
Great!  I
t’
d mean a lot to me
,
” he says.