Get It Done When You're Depressed (19 page)

Why does it help to yell
"Focus!
” out loud to yourself when you
have a day where you can’t focus? Does the brain hear it
differently when you yell out loud?

There’s something about speaking out loud that helps you focus on the moment. Inner thoughts are likely to ramble and move in a negative direction. It’s harder to think realistically under these conditions. Speaking out loud actually helps you do a better job of critical thinking so you can more easily spot distortions. Saying “Focus!” when you’re in the middle of a hazy situation snaps you back into reality so you can do what needs to get done.

Similar help is found when you write down your thoughts. It elevates you into more conscious awareness and helps you view and carefully examine the situation to see if your conclusions or predictions are realistic and accurate.

Focus is possible when you’re depressed. When you force yourself to focus, it’s like giving your brain a wake-up call to get it back in line. Picture your mind as a camera lens. When the image is blurry, you can turn the lens until things become clear and easy to see. Use whatever image works for you, and force yourself to focus! You will always feel better when you do.

Here are some other thoughts on how to encourage focusing:

Remember:
Focus and depression are opposites. Depression takes away your ability to focus. You have to take it back.

It cannot be emphasized enough: planning and structure can regulate your depressed brain and increase your ability to meet your obligations. When you wait to do things in the morning when you don’t have enough time or the inclination to prepare for the day, you might find that you not only increase your depression, but your level of anxiety can increase as well. This isn’t a great way to start your day when you’re already having trouble keeping a positive attitude.

For many people, morning isn’t the best time to take on big tasks. The evening can be much more productive. Take a half hour each night to get things ready for the next day: your clothes, lunch, directions to a new appointment, or anything that will make you feel rushed in the morning. Create an assembly line if you need to. Work from a checklist. Do anything and everything you can at night. It works.

Getting ready for your day the night before is a daily solution to a daily problem. This behavior can become a habit. When you make it your goal to roll out of bed fully prepared for the day, your mood can at least be more stable because you’ve eliminated the added stress that comes from rushing in the morning.

Consider the following signs that you need to prepare at night:

It’s normal if you want to relax at night after a long day, but it does make sense to take even 15 minutes to get ready for the morning.

I’m a single father with three girls. I’m honest with them about my depression problems, and they want to help me. We decided that getting ready for the next day before we go to sleep makes the house run a lot more smoothly.

They’re old enough to do a lot of chores on their own. My youngest is 11. She’s responsible for getting her softball clothes and equipment ready, as well as her lunch. My middle daughter takes a long time in the bathroom in the morning. I’ve had a hard time getting her to follow a new nighttime plan, but when I tell her it’s for me and not a punishment on her, things get better. My oldest daughter is a senior in high school. She does lunches for anyone who needs one and makes sure the dishes are washed so we don’t wake up to a junky kitchen.

I set the timer on my coffeemaker the night before. The car has gas. They have their spending money ready. Any after-school stuff goes on the big calendar on the fridge, and we look at it the night before as a group. This may sound a bit regimented, especially for three girls, but they want to help me. I know for a fact that it makes their lives a lot easier as well. There’s a lot less arguing in the morning for all of us.

I often wake up and feel rushed and worried. I realize that I’ve forgotten some things that I’ll have to coordinate to meet the obligations of my day. I think,
Wait a minute! I work until 4, but I have to meet someone at 5? I can’t wear the same clothes! I’ll have to take something different with me.
Then I realize I have no lunch and not much food in the fridge. I recently went to a cash-only system and have to plan my money each day. If I wait until the morning to do this, I often forget all my money and have to borrow from friends. I find that I’m not really aware of how much time it takes to get ready. I’m known for getting out of my car and going back inside two to three times for things I’ve forgotten.

In large group studies, it’s been found that most people with serious depression function worse first thing in the morning because of less energy, more pessimism, and trouble concentrating. The night before can be a much more productive time to plan out a schedule and get things done.

Many people have time limitations in the morning, especially if they have a tendency to oversleep. Your time and energy are often more available at night. After you take the short time of preparing ahead, you can have a better morning and a more relaxed evening as well.

Here are some other thoughts to consider:

Remember:
Depression makes it hard enough to get going in the morning. Why add to the problem by rushing around after your alarm rings?

Depression is caused by faulty brain functioning. You might wonder,
Why is thinking so hard for me? What’s wrong with me? My thinking is so slow. I’ve read this paragraph 15 times, and I still can’t remember it. Am I just getting old?

The thinking problems that lead to these questions are normal. No matter how smart you are or how proficient, there will be days when you can’t find your car in a parking lot, paying bills will feel like doing calculus, and reading a map will feel impossible. This happens because your brain is not at its best.

Being depressed is like having a broken car. You turn on the windshield wipers, and instead the lights go on. When you turn on the lights, the radio starts playing. The cylinders aren’t firing, and of course you will always leave your keys in the car! Memory problems due to depression can be intense and affect your work performance. You can have problems so severe that your doctor sends you in for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) testing, and you might get an incorrect diagnosis.

The best way to deal with these problems is to accept that they are going to happen. Your brain is not deteriorating, and you’re not “getting old.” These thinking problems will come and go when they’re a product of depression. That means you have to be more diligent with your work and go easier on yourself.

Do you recognize any of these signs indicating you’re having trouble thinking?

A depressed brain is often a fuzzy brain. Expect it and find ways to work around it.

I have a fishing guide business. When I have a client, I have a lot of stuff to get ready. I also have to be very careful about safety or I could lose my license. I’m very aware of the days that are going to be tough. I have trouble using the ropes to tie up the boat and trailer, which is usually very easy for me. I think over and over again about what time the trip starts, and then worry I have the time wrong.

My trouble is organization. I have to do things in order with this work. I have to check the boat. I have to have all the poles, lures, life jackets, and a lot of other little things. I provide lunch, so I have to pack that. I then have to put the boat on the trailer and make sure it’s safe. I feel like I’m doing all of this underwater when I’m scattered and down.

The first thing I do is focus on how the work always makes me feel better and then I go over a mental checklist, which straightens out my thoughts. I can do this even when my brain isn’t thinking clearly. I can override the jumble. I specifically think of all I have to do regarding the boat, then the fishing gear, then the clients, then getting to the site. This breaks everything into chunks, which I can manage better.

I can’t count the times I’ve lost my car in a parking lot or on the street. I walk outside to find the car and literally can’t remember where I last saw it. I remember street names, but I’m not sure if the names are from today or the day before. I see cars that look like mine, but they aren’t.

Then there’s reading maps and trying to find a new location. I get my directions off the Internet and often have to read them four or five times while I’m driving. Even if I’ve gone to a house many times, I can’t remember the exit and often have to ask for the address again. I get confused and anxious, and I certainly feel stupid. I forget appointments to the point that I double-book and then miss something important. I’ve lost a lot of money this way.

I have a day planner, but I often forget to look at it. This is not just ordinary forgetfulness. It’s much worse when I’m depressed, especially if I’m anxious as well.