Get It Done When You're Depressed (22 page)

Sugar very transiently increases energy. In lab tests, it’s been found that chocolate increases dopamine (the main “feel-good” neurotransmitter) in the brains of rats. Caffeine also has mood-elevating effects that are felt rapidly yet only last 15 to 20 minutes. In the long run, too much sugar or caffeine can increase depression, especially by sugar’s effect on your blood sugar and by caffeine’s negative impact on deep sleep.

Caffeine and sugar consumption really are your choice. Only you know how to regulate what you put in your body. You’re an adult. If you’re using caffeine and sugar to feel better and it’s not working in the long term, decide what’s more important—your moods or fleeting energy and pleasure. Overconsuming caffeine and sugar can lead to so many problems—anxiety, shame, and sleep problems, to name a few. Think carefully before you put something in your body that’s making you more depressed.

Here are some other thoughts to consider:

Remember:
Many substances make you feel better in the moment, but those aren’t always the best choice, considering the low they create when they leave your system only makes you need them more. That’s how vicious cycles get started.

It’s easy to confuse depression with low self-esteem, considering that depression symptoms can mimic self-esteem issues. When you’re depressed, it’s normal to examine the past for answers as to why you’re often down and can’t work to your full potential. It’s easy to blame your symptoms on your childhood or a lack of belief in yourself and your abilities. But it’s very important to know the distinction between the two. Depression might seem like a self-esteem problem, but for many people this is not the case. Self-esteem issues rarely make it hard to get out of bed, clean a house, or wash a car.

Self-help books often prescribe emotional change. They’re extremely helpful if they’re used in the right situation, but the problem for the depressed person is that self-help books suggest
you
completely control your destiny and, thus, are the sole cause of your difficulties. The more change-oriented a book is, the easier it is to feel like a failure when feelings of self-worth don’t respond positively to the suggestions offered.

Self-help books that emphasize action steps with an understanding of the physical causes of depression can be very effective, but it helps if you read any self-help book with a natural skepticism.

It’s very important that you distinguish the problems directly related to your past from the problems created in the present by depression. There really is a great difference. And until you recognize the difference, you could spend many years looking for causes of your hopelessness, lack of belief in yourself, and an inability to get things done as something psychological when it was a physiological reason all along.

What’s the difference between depression and low self-esteem?

American television shows, for example, can be very focused on changing patterns that cause life troubles. If you watch these shows, always think of what’s the real you and what is the depressed you and go from there.

I’ve always blamed my problems on my childhood. My lack of work ability was due to the fact that my father never taught me anything about business. My restlessness was due to our moving all of the time. My trouble in school was because my mother never did homework with me. The list was endless.

Looking back, I feel sad for my family. I really thought how I was raised was what made me such a “failure.” I didn’t notice that my brothers, raised in the exact same environment, didn’t feel the same at all. And to be honest, my relationship with my parents wasn’t bad; I just had to blame someone. I never, ever thought it could be depression, so I kept seeking help from books and anything else I could study. And still, I felt this nagging thought that someone had done me wrong!

When I was diagnosed with depression and finally started to get better, I couldn’t believe what a different person I was. Completely different. Not only was I able to focus on the present instead of constantly thinking about the past, I was actually able to see my childhood for what it was: pretty normal.

I saw therapists for 20 years for what I thought were self-esteem issues. I couldn’t figure out why I was always so down on myself and my lack of accomplishments, when in reality, I often accomplished just as much as the people in my life.

When I’m depressed, I feel that my relationship with my mother is terrible and that something she did in my childhood was responsible for my low self-esteem. When I’m well, I think nothing like this! I know for a fact that my mother has nothing to do with my depression. But when I’m sick, I always look to find out what I or others did wrong. Was I not encouraged as a child? Were my parents too harsh? Is the project just too hard for me? Do I just need to work on myself more?

Depending on how you were treated in your family, you grew up with ideas about yourself and others that often reflect your upbringing. These deeply ingrained beliefs can be positive or negative. Positive beliefs such as
I’m basically a decent and likable person,
or
If I try hard enough, I am generally able to accomplish things, even if they’re challenging
naturally lead to the belief in positive outcomes.

Negative beliefs include
I’m worthless
or
When people really get to know me, they’ll see that I’m a loser and abandon me.
People with
chronically
low self-esteem live with these beliefs
every day
. The person with chronically low self-esteem
continuously
reads negative things into a multitude of life circumstances.

For some people with depression, dormant negative beliefs that have successfully been worked on in therapy or through self-growth work often get reactivated and
are only present during the depressive episode.
Others, even those with normally positive beliefs, can experience sudden negative beliefs that are shocking and make little sense considering life circumstances.

When assessing someone with depression, it’s important to try to determine if the current low-self-esteem symptoms are episode-related and will end once the depression is treated successfully, or if they are long-standing traits that can be addressed with therapy.

If you have problems with body image, relationships, work, and negative beliefs about yourself that are long term and stay pretty constant in your life, they might be due to low self-esteem. If you find that your life issues come and go or get a lot worse depending on your moods, you might find that these problems go away when your depression is managed successfully.