Getting Lucky (31 page)

They couldn’t be more different. She did it all alone and, regardless of his stance on monkeys, he was a fricking circus ringmaster. But his unwavering confidence, his assurance in what he knew, his faith in the things he believed was—strangely—attractive.

For just a moment, she kind of understood Michelle.

If someone was floating, unanchored and unsure, knowing that TJ was there and would always show up, it had to give that person an incredible sense of security.

In fact…

But no. She liked her free-flowing life. She might be floating a bit, but that was because she
chose
to float. She wasn’t insecure. She was an adventurer. Like her mother.

“Michelle doesn’t appreciate you,” Peyton told TJ.

“I know.” He didn’t seem bothered by it.

“And you just left Hope here. That wasn’t very nice.”

TJ looked straight at Hope. “That’s because Hope doesn’t need me to be okay.”

And again, she couldn’t breathe for a moment. Because those words—they were supposed to be true. Forty-eight hours ago, they had been true. But now…

“I haven’t felt okay since you walked out that door,” she told him.

All hint of teasing was gone when he said, “You jealous, Sunshine?”

Was she? No, not really. Because Michelle didn’t really have TJ. They might have both thought she did for a long time, but TJ didn’t respect Michelle. And Hope suspected that he didn’t even like her a lot of the time. She didn’t have his heart.

Hope shook her head. “You feel sorry for Michelle. That’s not what
I
want from you.”

He stepped in close, his eyes on hers. “What do you want from me?”

She put her hand on his chest, over his heart. “I want you to let me be the first person to give you what
you
want.”

“I want you in my truck in the next sixty seconds.”

Hope gave Peyton a quick hug. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” Then she swung her bag onto her shoulder and headed for the door.

She could feel TJ right on her heels and noticed that he didn’t speak to anyone on their way out. As she reached the door, he leaned around her to open it, one big hand on her lower back.

His touch soaked through the soft cotton of her T-shirt and she felt the heat spread quickly through her body.

“TJ—”

He nudged her out the door and onto the porch of the bar. “Just get in the truck, Hope.”

“My car—”

“We’ll get it tomorrow. Need you with me,” he said.

He didn’t glance down at her but stayed focused on keeping her moving toward the truck.

She liked the sound of that, so she went along. Why not? They both wanted this. They both knew exactly where this was going to lead.

They got to his truck and TJ more or less lifted her onto the seat and quickly crowded in behind her. He started the engine while she was still getting settled and they were on the highway a moment later.

The drive wouldn’t take long, but it was a chance to breathe before things got really good.

“Can I ask you about two things before we get home?” she asked.

He stared straight ahead at the road. “Fine,” he said tersely.

“Michelle has a son.”

There was a beat of silence before TJ said, “That’s not a question.”

Hope noticed how his hand tightened on the steering wheel though. “You thought he was yours at first. Do you ever see him?”

“Nathan was only six months old when Colby came back and Michelle told us the truth. We all agreed that it would be confusing for Nathan if I was in his life. He was too young to remember me, so, no, I don’t see him.”

Hope could feel the sadness coming from him though. “You were there when he was born?”

“Michelle showed up on my porch when she was about three weeks pregnant. She figured it out right away, about a week after Colby dumped her and left town. She got me drunk one night and we slept together and she told me two weeks later that she was pregnant with my baby. We got married the following weekend and I was there for everything from then on.”

Hope absorbed all of that. Did TJ miss Nathan? Of course he did. She was sure he’d loved the baby. She was sure that whole period had been horrible. She was sure that he was angry with Michelle. And yet, he was still there for her when she needed him.

Hope had only one other question. “You’ve mentioned all this kinky sex and we talked about Michelle using sex to manipulate you.”

He sighed. “That’s also not a question.”

“Do you really like the kinky stuff or was that a Michelle thing?”

He didn’t answer at first. Then he finally glanced over. “Michelle called all the shots.”

Hope wasn’t surprised to hear that. Not so much that Michelle had run the show, but that TJ had let her. “So she was into the kinky stuff?”

“Not always kinky. But…it was like she needed more than just the usual. She was into sex in public places, lingerie…extras. And I still—” He broke off. Then he muttered, “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Get me to say stuff I don’t want to say.” He sounded more puzzled than angry though.

“You trust me,” she said simply. But the realization warmed her almost as much as his touch did. TJ Bennett did not trust easily. At least, he didn’t trust the women he slept with easily.

A thought occurred to her. “You still do that stuff? With other women?” she asked.

He sighed and she knew she was right.

“So are we talking Ben Wa balls here?” she asked.

TJ shifted in his seat and muttered something that sounded like, “This should be easier than this.”

“TJ? What kind of stuff?” she pressed, sensing it was important.

He turned the truck onto a gravel road off of the highway. “Okay, fine,” he finally said. “I think Michelle was into all of that stuff because that kept
her
interested. I don’t know—or care—if she’s still into all of that or if she needs that with Colby, but for her and I… She needed the extra stuff.”

Hope stared at him. She had no idea what to say. TJ thought Michelle hadn’t wanted him enough to want him without bells and whistles.

He glanced over. “Speechless, Sunshine? That’s gotta be a first.”

“You have to be kidding,” she finally answered. “You think you need that stuff with the other women too?”

“I just…” He shoved a hand through his hair and turned onto the long lane to his house. “It makes it… It’s easier that way.” He looked over at her. “How do you get me to say this stuff?”

“People always tell me stuff,” she said. But she wasn’t done with their conversation. “TJ, there is no way those women need to have toys and role-playing to want you.”

He pulled up in front of his house and killed the engine. “I need it. It keeps some distance,” he finally said in the quiet. “If we’re role-playing, or doing something that’s unconventional, it doesn’t feel as personal. The women I…date—”

Hope snorted at his choice of words.

“
Anyway
,” he said, giving her a look. “The women are looking for an escape from real life for a little bit. I’m looking for an outlet, an escape too, I guess. It’s sex. That’s all it is. But that stuff keeps it fun and not so heavy.”

It kept him from getting too close to them.

Hope got it. Completely. She was also impressed with his insight into all of it.

“We’re not going to need anything extra,” she told him. She scooted across the seat and climbed into his lap, straddling his thighs. “You and me. No clothes. And a large horizontal surface. That’s all.”

TJ looked into her eyes for three heartbeats. Then he opened his truck door, scooped his hands under her ass and slid out with her. As his feet hit the ground, Hope wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck and put her lips against his neck.

She breathed in deeply, pulling in his scent and the heat from his skin as he walked with her up the porch steps. He shifted her to one side so he could open the front door.

“Hey, your shoulder is a lot better. You’re holding me up with your left arm,” she commented.

“Yeah, well, my shoulder is getting no attention from my brain right now.” He stepped across the threshold and kicked the door shut behind them.

“Oh?” she asked, wiggling against the part of him that was getting the majority of
her
attention.

“Yeah.” He turned and put her back to the door, pressing his erection against her. “I’m surprised I can even form words.”

The porch light shone in through the front window, but mostly it was the bright moonlight that gave a glow to the foyer where they stood.

“You don’t need a lot of words,” she said, putting a hand on either side of his face. “Yes. More. Hope. Sunshine. Those are the only ones you need.”

He squeezed her butt. “You like Sunshine?”

“I do.”

His lips covered hers almost before she got the two words out. His kiss was demanding. He immediately opened his mouth and thrust his tongue against hers, stroking hard and deep. He pressed his hips into hers, his cock right against the zipper of her new shorts. The pressure against her clit made her groan and curse the material. If she were wearing one of her skirts, sans panties, they’d be a lot further along already.

As quickly as he’d taken her mouth, he lifted his head. “I’m going to spread you out on my bed, but I have to do something that I can’t wait for.”

“Anything,” she said breathlessly, meaning it with every fiber in her being.

He stepped back and set her on the floor. He quickly stripped her shirt off, tossed it to one side and reached to unhook her bra. She was topless before she was even fully balanced on her feet.

“God, yes,” he said fervently as he cupped her breasts. “I love your breasts.”

She couldn’t respond. Her entire focus was on her nipples as he strummed his thumbs over them, making need course through her and settle deep in her belly. “More,” she managed to murmur.

He responded, rolling a tip between his thumb and finger and tugging gently.

Had it really been just that morning that he’d nearly given her an orgasm in his garden just by playing with her breasts? Of course, his mouth had been involved too—

TJ dipped his knees and took one nipple in his mouth, sucking hard immediately.

Hope cried out, her hand coming up to hold his head, her fingers gripping his hair.

“Fuck, I love that sound,” he muttered.

One hand continued to tug and roll while his other hand went to the fastener of her shorts.

“I can—” she started, moving her hands to help.

But he knocked her hand away. “I’ve been unhooking blue jeans one handed in the dark since I was fifteen,” he told her.

The wicked grin he gave her made everything in her tingly, and she could only press her palms against the door and let him at it.

Sure enough, a second later, Hope felt the button and zipper on her shorts give. He swept the denim over her hips, somehow taking her panties with it. They stopped at the top of her boots.

But TJ didn’t stop. He rose to his full height, his blue-jean-breaching hand cupping her sex as he dragged his mouth up the side of her neck to her ear.

“I’ve wanted to touch you since I first saw you stretched out on the hood of your car,” he said huskily. “Spread your feet, Sunshine.”

Hope was powerless to do anything but follow his commands. She widened her stance as far as her shorts would let her.

“You’re bare,” he said, as he ran his flat fingers over her mound, his middle finger skimming her clit.

“I like how it feels,” she said softly.

“I like how it feels too,” he said with a small chuckle. “But it wouldn’t matter. It’s you.”

Her heart flipped at that. If it turned out that TJ was romantic too, she was going to have a really hard time packing up her camper.

That should have maybe felt like a warning sign, but all Hope could think at that moment was that she needed as much of this man before she packed that camper as she could get.

“You’re wet for me.”

“I think since you first saw me stretched out on the hood of my car,” she told him honestly.

That got a soft growl from him, and he moved his finger deeper, up and down over the slick heat below her clit.

Hope’s head fell back against the door and she gripped his forearm. “Thank God this arm is feeling better.”

He moved his middle finger, sliding into her to his first knuckle. “Trust me. There’s nothing that would keep me from this sweetness.” He moved the finger in and out, only going as deep as that knuckle each time, then sliding up and over her clit again.

Hope gasped as he circled her clit with a pressure and rhythm that would take her over the edge in only a few seconds if he kept it up.

He didn’t.

“Damn, you look good with your shorts and panties around those boots,” he said huskily. “But I need more of you. Can’t get my tongue on you with those in the way. And I
need
my tongue on you.”