Authors: Erin Nicholas
Scars, wounds, frowns and snarls and all.
“Do you want me to make you use Ben Wa balls?” he asked.
“I would use them.”
“Really.” He knew she would.
And he might die from oxygen deprivation to his brain.
“Whatever you need, TJ.”
And in that moment, he wanted it all. It
all
. He wanted her against the wall in back. He wanted her naked, wriggling on his truck seat, condensation running down the insides of his windows from their heat. He wanted her on the dock in the moonlight. He wanted her bent over his kitchen table. He wanted her spread out on his bed. And he wanted her next to him at Sunday dinner and holding his hand in the town square and beside him on the bleachers at Henry’s next game and dancing with him, just like this, every time he danced for the rest of his life.
He let go of her and stepped back as if she’d suddenly turned into a pissed-off mountain lion.
Fuck
.
The woman was messing with him. Bad.
Michelle leaving had devastated him, had changed him, and that was after
years
.
Hope had been here for two days.
He was going to be so thoroughly fucked when she left. He should stay away from her.
And that was never going to happen.
“Jesus, Hope.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her off the dance floor and to a less-populated corner of the bar. “You don’t even know what you’re doing,” he said, turning her back to the wall so he could talk to her without anyone hearing.
They could leave, of course, but she’d be naked in his truck before they hit the Welcome to Sapphire Falls sign.
“I know what I’m doing,” she said calmly.
“Because you do this a lot?”
“I never do this.” She didn’t even look offended at his question. “I never
want
to do this. Which makes me think I
need
to do this with you.”
“This is part of your magical Sapphire Falls summer?”
She grinned at that. “Hey, I’ll take magical sex anywhere I can get it, any time of the year.”
He sighed and pushed his hand through his hair. His left hand. Because his shoulder still felt great.
Like magic.
“What if I want to tie you up and share you with three of my friends?” he asked, giving one last attempt at pointing out that going home for sex with a stranger was a bad idea. Even if that stranger felt more connected to you than he maybe ever had to anyone.
“You don’t,” she said.
“You’re so sure?”
“I am.” She gave him a nod. “Though maybe you should tie me up. You need to take charge, you need to be totally able to do whatever you want, and you need to feel the power of someone being at your mercy because they totally trust you and want you that much. But you won’t share me.”
The feeling of power was already coursing through him.
He’d thought she was crazy for claiming she knew him from the very beginning, but right now, he got it. He looked into her eyes and he
knew
that everything she said was right—she liked him, wanted him, she trusted him, and he needed to let her give all of that to him.
“Time to go,” he said.
He turned and started for the door with her wrist in his hand.
“Hang on.” She was laughing. “I’m ready. Just let me grab my bag.” She pointed in the direction of Peyton’s table.
He met her eyes. “Hurry.”
Her smile died under the intensity of his look. She wet her lips. “Maybe I don’t need my bag—”
TJ made himself take a deep breath and relax his expression. “Go get it.” He didn’t have to haul her out of here like a caveman. No matter how much he wanted to.
He headed for Phoebe and Joe’s table. “We’re heading out.”
“Yeah, got that,” Phoebe said. “You two were putting off so much heat they had to bump the AC up.”
“Tell everyone…” He thought about it. “Nothing. It’s no one’s business.”
“You’re right,” Phoebe said with a nod. “But not everyone feels that way.” She nodded in the direction of Peyton’s table as well.
And TJ felt icy unease trickle down his spine even before he turned.
Chapter Ten
“I’m heading home with TJ,” Hope said to Peyton.
She knew her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing and talking too fast. But she didn’t care. TJ Bennett was letting her close. He was letting some of his walls down. She wasn’t just turned-on—she was feeling pretty damned proud of herself.
The big, grumpy, anti-social farmer was going to rock her world. And vice versa.
“Have fun,” Peyton said with a wink. “Call me tomorrow?”
“Definitely,” Hope said. She eyed Peyton’s glass. “Be good, okay?”
Peyton saluted her with the soda. “I will.” She set her glass down and gave Hope a small smile. “Thanks for…everything today. Thanks for listening about my mom and stuff. I know we don’t know each other—”
“Hey, we’re…friends.” Hope prayed Peyton didn’t notice the tiny pause. She really had almost said “sisters”. For the third time since meeting the younger girl. Damn. It just seemed the longer she was with Peyton, the stronger the feeling became.
Peyton gave her an almost shy smile. “It’s weird since we just met, but I feel like we’re already close.”
“Sometimes it just happens,” Hope said. And Peyton wasn’t the only one she was feeling it with. She smiled at Peyton. “TJ said something about having a barbecue tomorrow night. Could you come?”
“I’d love to.”
Peyton’s eyes lit up and Hope felt her throat tighten. She hoped Peyton had friends, but she was afraid maybe they were more drinking buddies.
Well, Hope was going to change that. Hope was going to show Peyton that she didn’t need to rely on anyone else for approval or to feel good about herself.
They’d talked for almost an hour after leaving the clothing store with Hope’s new ensemble. They’d settled at the table in the bar and ordered non-alcoholic drinks and talked like girlfriends who’d known each other for years. Peyton had confided in Hope about her mother’s bipolar disorder and her drinking and that Peyton acted out to get her father’s attention. It seemed the only time Dan pulled his focus off JoEllen was when Peyton was at the police station or the ER. Peyton tried not to let it get to her, but every once in a while, she’d break down and do something that she knew would land her in one of those places.
Hope took Peyton’s hand and leaned in to give her a hug. “We’ll talk more.” They had already exchanged phone numbers. “I’m here for a while. We’ll have lots of time.”
She didn’t have to tell Peyton who she was to have a positive influence. Everyone needed friends. And if she could teach her little sister about being more self-sufficient and about seeking her own happiness and approval, then Hope would feel that her trip to Sapphire Falls had been completely worth it. She would not only connect with her half-sister, but she would be able to pass Melody’s lessons on to another young woman who needed that strength. She’d come seeking a greater understanding and appreciation for her mom. With Peyton and with the healing she’d done with the women today, she already felt she was honoring Melody and the things she’d tried to pass on to Hope.
And then there was TJ.
Her trip to Sapphire Falls had already been completely worth it.
Maybe it was in the water or air here, or maybe it was in her DNA to go for hot Nebraska farmers, but Hope was very much appreciating this town where her mom had spent a formative summer.
Hope was more than ready to head to the farm. But when she turned to find TJ, a woman was blocking her way. “Oh, excuse me.”
She felt Peyton stand up behind her.
“Michelle, don’t. Just leave her alone,” Peyton said.
Michelle.
The one and only.
Oh boy.
Hope was struck by three things at once about TJ’s ex. One, she was gorgeous. Two, she had cold eyes. Three, she smelled like she’d washed her hair in rum.
That was really all she had a chance to catalog, but that was all she needed.
“Hi, Michelle. I’m Hope,” she said.
“So he’s been talking about me, huh?” Michelle flipped beautiful long black hair over her shoulder. “Don’t feel too bad. He’s been in love with me for years. It’s really more about me than it is about you.”
Hope felt her blood pressure rise slightly, and she hated it. She really didn’t care what Michelle said or thought of her. Michelle was nothing to her.
Except that she was something to TJ. And TJ had become something to Hope.
Which made the urge to slap Michelle not all that shocking. Foreign, yes. Shocking, no.
However, on the heels of the urge to slap the other woman was something Hope was more familiar with. Empathy.
Something had happened to Michelle to make her like this. Besides, Hope could easily see why it would be hard for her to get over TJ. Hope didn’t think
she
was ever going to, and that was after only two days.
She shook her head as that thought wanted to take root for further analysis. Now was not the time.
“I’m very sorry,” she said sincerely.
Michelle frowned. “For what?”
“For whoever made you feel like you weren’t worth more than this.”
Michelle’s eyes widened. “
Excuse
me?”
“It’s clear that you feel the need to constantly test TJ’s friendship. I’m sorry someone made you feel like you can’t trust anyone to really care about you even when you’re not in trouble or needing help.”
Michelle drew herself up tall. She was a couple of inches taller than Hope even without her heels. She was also at least a cup size bigger than Hope and her waist was a good three inches smaller. Dang. Hope could totally see what attracted TJ. Physically anyway. Other than her stunning looks, Michelle absolutely had bitch-on-heels written all over her.
“I can assure you,” Michelle said coolly, “that it isn’t TJ’s
friendship
that I get when I come to town.”
Hope nodded. “Right. You get the reassurance that someone will be there for you no matter what.” She felt sorry for this woman, she realized. And that was when Hope knew that her mom was with her in spirit.
Seeing beyond Michelle’s exterior bitchiness and trying to understand her was completely a Melody thing. Melody would have wanted to reach out to Michelle. She would have taken Michelle’s hand and led her to a table where she would have talked to her in a calm, soothing voice about getting centered. She would have taught her breathing and meditation. She would have recommended some time away by herself along with yoga and exercise, healthy eating, affirmations and prayer, or whatever other form of spiritual support Michelle was open to.
Of course, Melody was a nicer person than Hope would ever be.
And all of that would take a lot of time.
“But you really need to find a way to feel strong and worthy
without
TJ. At least for tonight.”
Hope understood there was more to Michelle. And she understood that she and TJ had a complicated history. TJ needed to get over being the one to rescue Michelle, and Michelle needed to find her own inner peace. But Hope could only focus on one of them at a time. So right now she was going to choose the hot farmer she wanted to get naked with.
“Oh, and you should google how to get centered and find a peaceful core,” Hope said. “That would be a good start.”
Peyton was looking back and forth between them as if she didn’t know what to think.
“Michelle.”
Hope heard TJ’s deep voice and looked to find him coming forward, scowling.
“You know what would make me feel better right here and now?” Michelle asked.
Well, crap. If the woman needed to open up to someone, Hope couldn’t very well shut her down. Could she? “What?”
“This.” Michelle drew her hand back and swung, slapping Hope hard across the cheek.
Intense stinging and burning erupted in Hope’s cheek and her hand flew to cover the spot as she stared at the other woman, speechless. She wasn’t sure if she was more hurt or more shocked. She had never been struck by another person in her life.
But she didn’t have time to respond. Peyton knocked the table out of the way and lunged at Michelle. Michelle shoved Peyton back, but Peyton grabbed a handful of Michelle’s hair.
“You hit like a girl!” Peyton told her.
Peyton definitely had an advantage, being in flat shoes up against Michelle’s heels. Not to mention Michelle’s blood-alcohol content. Michelle wobbled as Peyton pulled her hair and fell against the chair when her ankle turned. She grabbed Peyton’s wrist and swung with a fist at Peyton’s stomach.
And then they were being pulled apart.
TJ grabbed Michelle’s arms and a good-looking guy wrapped an arm around Peyton’s waist, pulling her back.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” TJ said darkly as he backed Michelle up a couple of steps with his body.
“Dammit, Scott!” Peyton struggled against the other man’s hold, but Scott wasn’t letting go.