Gravity (Free Falling) (20 page)

I liked that he was genuinely interested in something that I was so passionate abou
t.  I tried not to smile when responding.  “It’s just a beautiful concept I guess.  There’s Venus being blown to shore by the god Zephyr and the goddess Flora just after she was formed. Botticelli makes you feel like the world was just……
waiting
for her.”  I paused and fidgeted with my nails while I gathered my thoughts.  “Awaiting the arrival of
real
love.”

He turned back around and stared at me for another moment.
  I couldn’t make myself look away as my heart sped up.  “Do you want to go back down now?” I asked nervously.

He smiled at me, realizing how uncomfortable I was.  “Sure.”

I felt a little bad for rushing him, but I couldn’t help it.  We walked back down the stairs and returned to my room.  I sat beside him on the edge of the bed and my heart rate finally slowed to a normal pace. 

“I don’t know why you were so nervous.  You really
are
gifted.  I wasn’t just saying that,“ he stated reassuringly.  I believed him, but I was still glad to be out of the studio and feeling a little less exposed.

AJ
smiled at me and laid back on the bed like he was before we’d left the room.  I watched him and wanted to be close to him again, so I rested my head back on his chest.  Again, he stroked my hair, soothing me to the point that I almost dozed off.  That prompted me to set my alarm clock just in case we lost track of the time.  I leaned over him to grab the alarm from my nightstand and rested my body on his as I set it for 11:45.  He stopped breathing and looked down his nose at me cautiously. 

“
Now look who’s nervous,” I said while smiling.  “That’s a new one for you.”

             
“I’m not nervous, but
you
should be,” he replied. 

I continued to smile at him
, fully understanding what he meant.  When I finished with the alarm, I placed it back on the nightstand and stared into his eyes, tempting fate in a way.  Realizing the predicament I could get myself into, I decided that it would be best to back away from him until we both cooled down a bit.  Before I could move back to my original position at AJ’s side, he had his hands on my face, holding me in place as he moved his lips from my mouth to my neck slowly, but with an urgency that made my eyes roll back in my head.  He released me after a few minutes of intense passion and there was an untamed look in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.  I’d gotten to him.  He lifted my entire body and nearly tossed me to the other side of the bed and then he quickly sat up on the edge with his back to me.

             
“What’s the matter?”  I asked.

             
“Nothing,” he said edgily.  He sat there with his head in his hands as he tried to regain his composure. This was the first time I’d seen him even remotely close to losing control in a situation.  He was always so cool, calm, and collected. 
Is it possible that
I’m
his weakness
?  I smiled at the thought and then laid back, waiting for him to return.  About five minutes later he finally eased back toward me.

             
“You ok now?” I asked, trying not to sound like I was teasing him.

             
“Yeah, I’m good.”

             
“Wanna watch a movie or something?” I asked.

             
“Sounds like a good idea,” he smiled.

I got up and selected one of my favorite
love stories from my movie collection.  I made my way back to the bed and lay back down.   I rested my head on his stomach and relaxed as the rhythm of his steady breathing calmed me.   My mind drifted back to thoughts of the red-head girl, Leila.  I don’t know why I hadn’t made the connection before.  I should’ve known.  I’d be lying if I said that the thought of her being ‘
the one
’ didn’t intimidate me a little.  She’s beautiful! And she’d shared something with AJ that gave her the upper hand in my opinion.  There were a million things running through my head. 
Did he love her once upon a time?  How long were they together?

I dwelled on similar thoughts throughout most of the movie. 
Near the end, I lifted my head and sat up next to him, still mulling over the situation.  Glancing at me curiously, AJ asked, “Why’d you move?”

I wasn’t sure if I should tell him the truth.  What would he think of me dwelling on such trivial details?  But I hadn’t lied to
AJ once and I wanted to keep it that way, so I went for it.

             
“I’m just thinking about you….and Leila.”  I admitted.

             
“Why would you be thinking about
her
?  I don’t,” he replied.  I tried to hide that I was pleased by his response.

             
“But you two must spend a lot of time together.  I mean, she’s dating one of your friends.  Isn’t that ever uncomfortable?  You have to know that she’s still into you. Even I know that and I only saw how she was with you at the dance.”

             
“Well, yeah I do see more of her than I’d like to under the circumstances, but it isn’t uncomfortable to
me
.  I can’t answer that question for her. But like I said, it’s over, so it doesn’t matter what she thinks.  As far as the dance, it was just that…..a dance.  Don’t waste your time thinking about it.”

             
“Now that I know you two…you know, I’m seeing it as more than that.  She was trying to show you what you’re missing out on – jog your memory a little.”

He laughed aloud. 
“Just learned something new about you.  You’re mildly neurotic.  That’ll take some getting used to.”

             
“AJ you can laugh if you want to, but watch and see.  This girl isn’t going to give up easily.”

He pulled me back down to him and hugged me tightly.  “Leila can do what she wants to, but she isn’t g
onna change anything.  Stop worrying about it.”

             
“How long were you two together anyway?”

             
“Mmmmm……like four or five months.  Why?”  He asked.

             
“Just wondering.”  I had to dislodge my next question from my throat to even ask it.  “Did you…..
love
her?”

There was a long silence that made me nervous. 
What was there to think about?  Either he loved her or he didn’t.
  “Love’s the wrong word.  There was an attachment, but definitely not love,” he explained.  “I was there for her when she lost her mom and it turned into something more over time.  She became fixated on what we did physically and didn’t have it in her at the time to invest anything emotionally.  I couldn’t operate like that.  I tried to back away a bit and maintain a friendship, but it wasn’t enough for her.  So, despite how bad I felt about leaving her alone during such a hard time in her life, she left me no choice.  For a while she hated me, but eventually we talked it out and she understood my side of it.  So, we never really got back to being friends, but we at least got to a point where we could speak and be civilized toward one another…...
most
of the time anyway.”

I couldn’t help but to feel a little sorry for her after hearing him explain it.  She had to face losing her mother and then had t
o deal with losing the one person that kept her attached to her sanity.  I also saw a new side to AJ.  There aren’t many guys that could walk away from a beautiful girl who was practically throwing herself at him.  He was different.  He somehow saw past his own physical desire, acknowledged that something was missing, and found the strength to walk away. 

I couldn’t help but to stare at him.  His restraint and self-control had me in awe.  As I continued to marvel
, the alarm sounded.  I was getting ready to reach out and turn it off, but AJ moved more quickly that I did.  As much as I wanted him to stay longer, that wasn’t going to happen.  It was already 12:00 and my dad could show up at any minute.  I lifted myself off the bed and waited for him to get to his feet before I turned to walk downstairs.  We lingered there by the door, neither of us ready to part so soon. 

             
“I’m glad you came,” I said quietly.

             
“I’d
never
pass on a chance to see you.”  He laughed and then added, “Not even if there’s a strong possibility that your dad could come home and kill us both.”

I smiled
and kissed him softly before he turned and walked out the door.  Long after he’d pulled off, I stood there leaning against the door thinking about him.  Eventually, the sound of the garage door opening jolted me back to reality.  That was a close call, maybe even a bit sloppy.  I sighed and ran up the stairs before my father could get in the house and wonder why I was out of bed.

Daddy didn’t stick around long. 
It was obvious that he was still upset with me, but I really didn’t care.  After a quick check to make sure that the swelling was going down, he made me take a couple more Aspirin, and then he left out again without saying goodbye.  When he and Mom returned from work that evening, they were none the wiser about my secret meeting with AJ.  I felt a thrill at the thought of getting away with the whole scheme, especially since I was still so upset with Daddy.  It pleased me that I’d done something that I was sure he’d disapprove of.  If he thought of me as careless, then I’d
be
careless. 

Dinner was…..interesting.  Mom carried the conversation by herself.  Daddy stared at his plate silently and so did I.  When
I finished, I got up from my chair and picked up my plate to take it to the sink.               

“Samantha, wait a minute.  I
wanna talk to you,” my father said sternly.

I
stopped, but didn’t look his way.  He continued on.  “Look.  You’re not gonna walk around
my
house with this attitude.  So, I suggest that you get over it.  Am I clear?”  He asked.

I continued to sta
re at the wall when answering.  “You can’t
make
me stop seeing AJ.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.  You’re not grown.  You
will
do as I say,” he retorted.

             
“I’ll be 18 in six weeks and you’re treating me like I’m still 12!  I can’t wait until it’s time for me to leave and go away to school,” I mumbled under my breath as I stormed off.  I ran up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door so hard that one of my pictures fell from the wall.  I was so mad that I could hardly see straight.  I had to leave.  My phone was in my hand instantly and I sent AJ a message.

             
“
Can u come get me again?”

He responded more quickly than I’d anticipated.
 
“Same time?”

             
“Yeah.”

I
lay in bed waiting for my parents to continue with their usual evening ritual that ended predictably at 11:00pm.  As expected, the living room television went off and they retreated into their bedroom.  I hopped in the shower and got dressed as I’d done before.  At 11:56 I was on my way.  After checking my pocket for my keys, I left the house and didn’t bother looking back to see if I’d awakened anyone.  I didn’t even run this time because I didn’t feel any fear.  My father no longer had a hold on me. 

I felt a sudden rush when I reached the end of the driveway and made my way to the corner. 
AJ’s car was now in view and it wouldn’t be long until we’d speed away leaving my problems behind.  As soon as I climbed in, I forgot that I was ever even mad.  AJ was like a breath of fresh air even though I’d seen him only hours before.  He reached for my hand before taking off at high speed down my street.  We went back to our same spot as before, but didn’t get out of the car this time.  Instead we sat there listening to music and both of us reclined our seats so that we could get more comfortable. 

Sc
enes from my argument with my father crept into my thoughts again and I sighed, trying to forget it so that I could enjoy my time with AJ.  My frustration didn’t go unnoticed.

             
“Everything ok?” he asked.

             
“Not really.”

             
“Wanna talk about it?”

             
“It’s just more drama with my father.  He is so hard to reason with sometimes.  I’m sick of it!”  I didn’t want to say much more than that.  I’d felt bad enough for telling AJ about how Daddy demanded that I end things with him.

             
“What was it this time?”

             
“Same stuff as before.  Nothing’s changed.”

             
“Well, you’ll be leaving in less than a year and you won’t have to deal with it anymore,” he replied.  Those words were like music to my ears.  This summer I’d hopefully be leaving for Charleston and Daddy wouldn’t be able to hold me under his thumb anymore. It almost sounded too good to be true.